How to Write a Eulogy for Your Older Brother - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Being asked to speak about your older brother can feel like carrying both an honor and a weight. You want to get his story right. You want to make people laugh and cry in the right measures. You also want to survive the microphone. This guide gives you easy structure, real examples you can adapt, delivery tricks that actually work, and plain language explanations of any funeral terms you might not know. Read through, pick a template, and start writing with confidence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about an older brother at a funeral, memorial, graveside service, or celebration of life. Maybe you were chosen because you were closest in age, or because you can stand up and talk without it turning into a therapy session. Maybe your relationship was complicated and you do not know how to balance truth and kindness. Good. There are templates for short, funny, sentimental, and honest pieces.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It usually happens at a funeral or memorial. A eulogy is not the same thing as an obituary. An obituary is a written announcement that includes facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is personal. It is a story. It can be messy and still be meaningful.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written notice of death that lists biographical details and service information.
• Order of service The schedule for the funeral or memorial listing readings, music, and speakers.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. These are often close relatives or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life when someone is nearing the end of life. Hospice can be care at home or in a facility.
• Program The printed order of what will happen during the service. It can include readings and songs.

How long should a eulogy for an older brother be

Short and true usually wins. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is about four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. If many people will speak, lean shorter so the service does not run long. A short honest piece can be far more powerful than a long wandering one.

Before you start writing

Preparation makes the writing better and the speaking easier. Use this quick plan.

• Confirm time Ask the family or officiant how long you are expected to speak and where your talk fits in the order of service.
• Pick a tone Mom and dad might want different tones. Decide whether this will be solemn, funny, celebratory, or a mix. Check with someone who knows your brother well.
• Collect memories Ask siblings, friends, or cousins for one memory each. Those small details are gold.
• Choose two or three focus points Pick a few things you want people to remember about him. Two or three gives shape without overwhelming you.

Structure that actually works

Use a simple shape to keep your remarks grounded.

• Opening Say your name and your relationship to your brother. Offer one clear sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch A brief overview of his life roles like brother, friend, partner, student, worker, hobbyist.
• Anecdotes One or two short stories that reveal his character. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Traits and lessons Summarize what people learned from him or what they will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a quote, a call to action like sharing a memory, or invite a moment of silence.

Writing the opening

The opening should be simple. Start with your name and relation. Then give a single sentence that anchors the audience. You are not expected to solve everything in the first line. You are expected to give context and permission to listen.

Opening examples

• Hi everyone. I am Sam and I am Alex s little sister. We are here to remember how he insisted on laughing first and fixing things second.
• Hello. My name is Jordan. I am Nate s brother. Nate taught me how to skateboard and how to pick a better playlist for road trips. Today we celebrate that messy, loud, generous life.
• Good afternoon. I am Priya, his oldest sibling. If you ever needed a straight answer at two in the morning you asked him. He never gave guesses. He gave answers.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the details that shape the story you are telling. Use roles instead of a list of jobs. Roles are easier to connect with emotionally.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place]. He loved [hobby] and worked as [job or role]. He was a son, a brother, and a friend to many. He married [partner] or he was close to [important people].
• [Name] moved to [city] when he was [age or life stage]. He spent weekends doing [activity] and always made room for [habit or people].

Anecdotes that actually land

People remember stories more than lists. Keep stories short with a clear payoff that explains why the story matters. A good anecdote has a setup, an action, and a line that makes the point.

Quick anecdote examples

• When we were kids he turned a backyard puddle into a submarine adventure. He wore my dad s old raincoat and claimed command. We were convinced he could steer a ship and then appear at dinner with muddy shoes and a proud grin.
• He had a ridiculous obsession with cereal boxes. He would pick one for the box art alone. If he could not find the flavor he wanted he would invent his own breakfast using three different cereals combined in expert layers.
• On every road trip he insisted on choosing the songs even if he did not know the words. He believed music could fix bad moods. Most of the time he was right.

Addressing sibling dynamics

Sibling relationships are layered. They can be full of inside jokes and old resentments. You do not have to erase complexity. Honest affection with a clear boundary from blame reads as mature and true.

Examples of tone for sibling relationships

• We fought about the dumbest things like who stole a favorite shirt. Those fights were loud and short. They mattered because he was the person I fought with the most and also the person I trusted the most.
• He was bossy and I was stubborn. That combination made for a lot of arguments and some of the best teamwork when it counted. He pushed me to show up and I am better for it.
• We did not always say I love you out loud but he showed it. He built Ikea furniture without reading the instructions and he would drive across town just to bring home a special snack on a bad day.

Using humor the right way

Humor can give people permission to breathe. Use small earned jokes that reveal character. Avoid anything that could embarrass the deceased or single out people in the audience.

Safe humor examples

• He could fix anything except his phone screen. He treated it like a fragile heirloom and yet managed to drop it in every pocket he owned.
• Growing up he had a signature look that included socks with sandals. He claimed it was for comfort. He also claimed the fashion police feared him, which is not true but funny to imagine.

What to avoid when speaking about your older brother

• Avoid using the eulogy as a place to air long standing grievances or to settle scores.
• Avoid private family drama that will hurt people in the room. If a detail matters to the story you can keep it general.
• Avoid listing achievements without stories that make them human.
• Avoid cliches that say nothing unless you follow them with a specific example.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples. Replace bracketed bits with your details and make edits so it sounds like you. Read out loud and trim anything that feels forced.

Example 1: Warm and steady older brother, 3 to 4 minute version

Hello. My name is Maya and I am David s younger sister. David was the kind of person who would show up early to help and show up later to make sure things were okay. He grew up in Dayton and found his way to this city after college. He loved bikes, weekend projects, and lending books with a note tucked inside about why he thought you should read them.

One small story that captures him is about his backyard grill. He rebuilt the whole thing from parts he collected from other friends yards. He called it Frankenstein. He would host simple summer dinners there and insist on handing out extra napkins like it was a formal ceremony. Those dinners were loud and warm and full of people who knew they were safe on his watch.

He taught us to be practical and kind. He was the person who taught me how to change a flat tire and how to apologize without making an apology into a speech. Home meant his laugh coming from the living room and someone always asking him to help with the biggest problem even if the problem was just deciding what movie to watch.

We will miss his steady hands and his tendency to say I got this even when we were not sure that was true. I am grateful for him being my brother and for the little ways he made us braver. Thank you for being here to remember him.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hi everyone. I am Chris and I am Mark s brother. Mark loved terrible puns, great coffee, and insisting that a good playlist could fix almost anything. He taught me how to make an awful joke and how to bake a decent loaf of bread. He was our go to person for help and for a laugh. Thank you for being here and for keeping his memory with us.

Example 3: Funny and affectionate older brother

Hey. I am Ben, his kid brother. If you ever met Ryan you knew two things. One he had opinions about the best burger in the city. Two he refused to carry a reusable bag because he was worried he would forget it and get judged. He was stubborn and soft at the same time. He would argue about toppings and then show up with flowers when someone needed a lift. He made us laugh and he made us feel less alone. We will miss his voice in the group chat and his oddly good timing for movie quotes. Thank you for coming to celebrate him.

Example 4: Complex relationship, honest and compassionate

My name is Aisha. My relationship with Omar was complicated. We challenged each other and we hurt each other. Over time we found a way to be honest and to forgive. The last year we had a conversation that felt like a clearing. He said something that I needed to hear. I said something he needed to hear. It was not a tidy ending but it was real. He taught me how to be firm and how to let go. I am grateful for that work and for the person he was becoming. Thank you.

Fill in the blank templates

These templates are a fast way to get a draft. Replace bracketed text and then read the whole thing out loud to make it sound like you.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Brother s Name] [sister brother sibling]. [Brother s Name] was born in [place or year]. He loved [one hobby], he worked as [job or role], and he was the one we called when [small habit]. One memory that shows who he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Brother s Name] was complicated. We had fights about [small example]. Over time we found a way to understand each other. In the last [months years] we [reconciled spoke often found peace]. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [one short line you want to say].

Template C: Light and funny with sincerity

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Brother s Name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also taught us [useful habit]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. He made us laugh and he made our Sunday dinners better. I will miss his jokes and his oddly specific trivia. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

Giving a speech while grieving is hard. These tactics make it easier.

• Print your speech Use large font and print a backup. Phones can die or ring and that is stressful.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one or two lines each help you keep place and make emotional pauses easier to manage.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience might laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup and let the moment land.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, to a mirror, or to your dog. Practicing tells your throat what to expect.
• Bring tissues and water Keep a simple glass of water nearby and a tissue for when emotions arrive.
• Arrange a backup If you worry you will not get through it, have a friend or family member ready to step in to finish a final line.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If there is no microphone speak slowly and project to the back row.

What to do if you start crying

If tears come do not panic. Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. Take a sip of water if it helps. If you need a second, take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue ask a family member to finish the closing line you practiced together. A short breath can reset your voice enough to keep going.

How to include readings, poems, and music

Short readings work best. If you include a poem pick a two to four line excerpt rather than a long piece. Readings can be secular or religious. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with the piece and consider printing it in the program.

Music tips

• Pick songs your brother loved or tracks that match the tone of the event.
• If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
• Keep music short and place it where it supports your words such as before the eulogy or as a brief interlude.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service so they can include it in the program or step in if needed.

After the eulogy

People may ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family or friends. Some families include the text in a printed program or a memory book. You can also record the audio and share it privately. If you plan to post the recording online check with family before doing so for privacy reasons.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a glass of water if allowed.
• Tell a family member you may need a moment and plan a small signal if you want them to finish a line.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written announcement that usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. These people are often family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal event that focuses on stories and photos rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life when someone is nearing the end of life. It can be at home or in a facility.
• RSVP An abbreviation of the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It asks guests to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and relationship to your brother. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Brother s Name] sibling gives context and buys you a breath. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or cannot continue

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to step in and finish a short closing line. Planning that ahead reduces panic.

Should I include religious language if the family is not religious

Only include religious language if it was meaningful to your brother or to the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories. You can include a brief reading or poem that matches the family s beliefs instead of prayer language.

Is it ok to use humor in a eulogy

Yes. Small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes that are rooted in real memories and test them with someone you trust. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members.

How long should the eulogy be if many people are speaking

If multiple people will speak aim for two to four minutes each. Shorter pieces help the service stay within the planned schedule and keep the emotional rhythm manageable.

Can I read the eulogy from my phone

You can but make sure the screen is bright enough in the venue and that your device will not ring. Many people prefer printed index cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high.

What if our family wants to include a poem or music

Choose short excerpts and confirm with the officiant. Place music where it supports the speech such as a brief interlude and print readings in the program when possible.