How to Write a Eulogy for Your Old Friend - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for an old friend feels impossible and necessary at the same time. You want to honor the person who shared years of jokes, low key adventures, and the kind of loyalty you only get from someone who knew you before you were polished. This guide gives you a clear plan, examples for different friend types, and fill in the blank templates you can adapt. We explain any terms you might not know and include delivery tips that actually help when emotions are raw. Read through, pick a template, and start writing with confidence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a friend at a funeral, memorial, graveside service, or celebration of life. Maybe you were the childhood buddy who still remembers the nickname only you used. Maybe you were the person who lived two apartments down and kept the plant alive after they moved. Maybe the friendship was messy or distant for years. That is okay. There are sample scripts for funny, tender, short, and complicated relationships.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors someone who has died. It often appears during a funeral or memorial. A eulogy is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice with basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is personal. It is a story. It does not have to be perfect.

Terms and acronyms you might see

• Obituary A written notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and service information.
• Order of service The sequence for the funeral or memorial, listing readings, music, and speakers.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories rather than rituals.
• Pallbearer Someone who helps carry the casket. These people are usually close friends or relatives.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for people near the end of their life. Hospice care can be given at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Abbreviation for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
• RIP Stands for rest in peace. It is a common phrase used in obituaries and messages of condolence.

How long should a eulogy for a friend be

Short and focused is better than long and meandering. Aim for three to six minutes. That usually translates to about 400 to 700 spoken words. If multiple people are speaking, coordinate with the family so the total time stays reasonable. If you are nervous pick a shorter version that hits a couple of vivid memories and a closing line.

Before you start writing

Getting started is the hardest part. Use this quick plan to gather material and set a tone that feels true to your friendship.

• Ask about logistics Check with the family or officiant how long you should speak and where you fit in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want to be funny, sentimental, reflective, or a mix? Consider what the deceased would have liked and what the audience needs.
• Collect stories Ask mutual friends for a one sentence memory each. That gives you options and helps you avoid repeating the same story.
• Pick two or three focus points Choose the main traits or themes you want people to take away. Two or three keeps the speech coherent.
• Plan your opening and closing The opening should introduce you and set the tone. The closing should leave the audience with one clear image or thought.

Structure that works

Use a simple structure to give your speech shape and to make writing faster.

• Opening Say your name and your relationship to the friend. One line to set the mood works well.
• Life sketch A brief overview of who they were in their roles such as friend, artist, parent, coworker, volunteer or neighbor.
• Anecdotes One or two short stories that reveal character. Choose stories with a clear setup and payoff.
• Traits and lessons Summarize the qualities people will miss or what your friend taught you and others.
• Closing A goodbye line, a short quote, a call to action like sharing a memory after the service, or a simple wish.

Writing the opening

The opening is where you get people listening. Keep it simple. Start with your name and why you are speaking. Then say one clear sentence that frames your friend so listeners know what to expect.

Opening examples

• Hello. I am Jamie and I was Morgan s roommate for six years. Morgan taught me about thrift store treasure hunting and how to forgive fast when someone breaks your favorite mug.
• Hi everyone. My name is Priya. I met Sam in college on day one when they offered me half a pizza and half their jacket. That generosity stuck with me.
• Good afternoon. I am Alex, one of Mark s coworkers and closest friends. Mark showed up for everyone with a ridiculous spreadsheet and an even bigger sense of humor.

How to write the life sketch for a friend

The life sketch is not a biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you want to tell. Focus on the roles they loved and the small routines that made them feel alive.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place] and moved to [city] in their twenties. They worked as a [job] and in their free time they loved [hobby]. They were a steadfast friend, a generous neighbor, and the person who always had an extra charger in their bag.
• [Name] was known for [quirky habit]. They loved [music genre or activity], had a soft spot for [animal or cause], and hosted the best impromptu dinners that turned strangers into friends.

Anecdotes that make people feel something

People remember stories, not lists. Pick stories that are sensory and have a small emotional arc. Keep them short and aim for one or two lines that land the point.

Examples

• At a music festival when the rain started, they dusted off an old tarp and turned a soggy morning into a dance party. By the end of it half the crowd was in a conga line and nobody remembered being cold.
• When my car broke down on a Sunday they showed up with jumper cables and leftover pizza. They refused to accept a tip and left a sticker on my dashboard that said you are not alone.
• They taught my daughter to skip stones. She never could do it perfectly but those afternoons became a ritual of patience and giggles.

How to handle complicated or messy friendships

Not every friendship is perfect. If your relationship had rough patches you can still speak honestly and with dignity. Acknowledge complexity without airing private grievances in public. Focus on what you learned or a small moment of reconciliation.

Examples for complicated friendships

• We had years of silence after a stupid fight. When we finally spoke again it felt like reclaiming a room in my life I did not know I needed. That makes me grateful for the second chances we got.
• They could be blunt and stubborn. That honesty hurt sometimes but it also pushed me to be a better listener and to stop pretending everything was fine when it was not.

Using humor the right way

Humor is often the easiest way to breathe in a heavy room. Use small earned jokes that reveal character rather than mock. Test your jokes with someone who will tell you if they land. Avoid anything that will embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience.

Safe humor examples

• They had a single rule at dinner parties. If you arrived empty handed you would be deputized to do the dishes for life. That explains why our friendship came with a utensil drawer apprenticeship.
• If you called them at three a m they would pick up immediately and then tell you to call them back at nine because they were asleep. They were the world s best friend with limited office hours.

What to avoid when writing a eulogy for a friend

• Avoid turning the speech into a therapy session for unresolved issues.
• Avoid private jokes that exclude most listeners or that someone present might find hurtful.
• Avoid long lists of achievements without any stories that make them human.
• Avoid trying to be someone you are not. Authenticity resonates more than polish.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and edit until it sounds like you. Read aloud and trim anything that feels forced.

Example 1: The lifelong best friend three to four minute version

Hello. I am Sam and I was Ella s friend since we were ten. Ella was the person who taught me how to skateboard and how to apologize properly when I broke her headphones. She had a laugh that filled a room and a way of making you feel like your small victories were big events.

She grew up in [town]. She worked as a graphic designer and turned coffee into brilliant posters and impeccable playlists. Weekend mornings at her place always included bad records, better coffee, and the kind of conversation that left you lighter than when you arrived.

One memory sums up Ella for me. We were at a cheap motel on a road trip when the heater died. Instead of panicking she unpacked a thrift store blanket, put on a terrible 80s ballad, and turned cold into a dance party. We slept like babies and still joke about that playlist.

She taught me how to be brave about small things and stubborn about important things. She believed in showing up and in saying sorry when you needed to. I will miss her terrible puns and her fierce loyalty. If you want to remember Ella please tell one tiny story today and keep her in your playlists. Thank you.

Example 2: Short modern tribute under two minutes

Hi. I am Jordan and I was Noah s friend from work. Noah was the person who brought snacks, good advice, and a calm no drama vibe to every meeting. He loved boring plants and odd socks. We will miss his steady presence and his ability to make complicated projects feel manageable. Thank you for being here for him and for us.

Example 3: Funny but sincere

My name is Lena. If you ever met Marco you know he had two rules in life. Rule one was bring extra guacamole. Rule two was never pass up a chance to volunteer to DJ even if his playlist was 90 percent dramatic movie soundtracks. Marco taught us to celebrate the silly. We are going to miss the guacamole and the goosebumps. Today we celebrate that messy, generous weirdness.

Example 4: Estranged friend, honest and respectful

I am Malik. Our friendship drifted for a while after college. We found our way back in the last few years and those reconnections were some of my favorite conversations. They were short and real. I learned from them that it is worth trying again and that some doors are worth reopening. I am grateful for that time.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates as starting points and adjust the language so it sounds like you. Keep the focus on specific, human details.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [friend s name] friend since [how you met]. [Friend s name] loved [one hobby], worked as [job], and was the person who always [small habit]. One memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here.

Template B: Funny and tender

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [friend s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. They also made sure we knew how to [practical life skill]. My favorite memory is [funny story]. Even their jokes had a soft center. I will miss their laugh and the way they turned ordinary days into memorable ones. Thank you.

Template C: Complicated friendship

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [friend s name] was not simple. We had times apart and times of closeness. In the end we found a way to be honest with each other. I will hold onto the last conversation we had about [small detail]. It taught me [something you learned].

Delivery tips that actually help

Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics keep you steady and focused.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to handle than a phone when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one idea on each card reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience will likely laugh or clap. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, to your dog, or to a mirror. Practice helps your throat and your nerves know what to expect.
• Bring tissues and water Simple but helpful. A sip of water can steady a wavering voice.
• Ask for a backup If you think you may not finish have somebody ready to step in with a sentence to wrap things up.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If there is no mic project to the back row and try to enunciate.

What to do if you start crying while speaking

If tears come that is completely normal. Pause, breathe, look at your notes, and then continue. Slow down your sentences. Saying fewer words more slowly often carries more meaning. If you cannot continue someone you trust can finish with a short line you practiced together.

Including readings, music, and photos

Short readings work best. If you choose a poem pick a two to four line excerpt rather than a long piece. Music is a good emotional bridge. Pick songs your friend loved or songs that match the tone. If you include photos have a few arranged in the order of service or play a short slideshow before or after speakers.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you should speak.
• Share a copy of your speech with the person running the service if they want to include it in the program or memory book.

After the eulogy

People will often ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family and close friends. Some families include the eulogies in a printed memory book or ask for recordings. Respect the family s wishes about privacy before posting any audio or video online.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a bottle of water if allowed.
• Tell a family member you may need a moment and agree on a small signal if they should finish for you.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death and usually including service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial showing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket, usually a close friend or family member.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories and photos instead of rituals.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone near the end of life. Hospice care can be at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Stands for respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It asks invitees to confirm attendance.
• RIP Rest in peace. A common phrase used in condolences.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to the deceased. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Friend s Name] friend gives the audience context and buys you a breath. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.

How should I choose stories to include

Pick stories that reveal character and that most people can relate to. Choose one small anecdote that makes people laugh and one that makes them feel. Avoid long backstories or inside jokes that will confuse the audience.

What if my friend and I had a complicated history

Be honest without being hurtful. Acknowledge complexity and share a small reconciliation or lesson you learned. You do not have to resolve everything in a public speech. Short, true sentences are often the most powerful.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes. Small earned humor can make people breathe in a heavy room. Use jokes that are grounded in real moments and avoid anything that might embarrass someone present.

Should I read the eulogy from my phone

You can but make sure the screen will be visible in the venue and that the device will not ring. Many people prefer printed pages or index cards because they are easier to manage when emotions are high.

How long should a eulogy be

Aim for three to six minutes. Shorter speeches are often more memorable and easier to deliver when you are grieving. Coordinate with other speakers to keep the service on schedule.

What if I forget what I wanted to say

Pause and breathe. Look at your notes. If you still cannot find the place have a friend or family member ready to step in with a simple line to finish. Most people will wait and support you.

Can I include music or photos

Yes. Short music clips and a small selection of photos can enhance memories. Check with the officiant about timing and make sure the tech is set up ahead of time.