How to Write a Eulogy for Your Offspring - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your child is one of the hardest things anyone can be asked to do and it is also one of the most honest ways to mark a life. Whether you are speaking about an infant, a teenager, or an adult child, this guide gives you clear steps, real examples you can adapt, and delivery tips that actually help when emotions are raw. We explain terms you might not know and give fill in templates so you can get words on the page fast.

Who this guide is for

This article is for parents, caregivers, step parents, and legal guardians who have been asked to speak at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service for their child. Maybe you were the parent who handled medical appointments, maybe you were estranged, or maybe you are suddenly the person expected to talk. This guide has options for short remarks, longer tributes, tender and funny tones, and for complicated feelings that may include anger grief and love at once.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a personal speech that honors someone who has died. It is different from an obituary which is a written notice that gives basic facts like names dates and funeral arrangements. A eulogy is about memory and meaning. It is allowed to be imperfect and raw. The goal is to say a few true things that help others remember and feel less alone.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and lists service details and survivors.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial that lists readings music and speakers.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. Pallbearers are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories photos and music rather than ritual.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can be delivered at home or in a facility.
• Grief counselling Professional support to help process loss. Also written sometimes as grief counseling depending on region.

How long should a eulogy for your child be

Short and specific usually lands best. Aim for around three to five minutes if you can. That is roughly four hundred to six hundred words. If the service has multiple speakers confirm your time with the family or officiant ahead of time. A few honest minutes can be more powerful than a long speech that runs out of shape.

Before you start writing

Planning helps reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed. Use this quick checklist to get started.

• Ask about the time limit Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of events.
• Decide the tone Will this be solemn celebratory funny or a mix? Check with close family to make sure the tone fits the child and the crowd.
• Gather memories Ask siblings friends and teachers for one memory each. Collect nicknames habits favorite foods and songs.
• Pick two or three focus points Choose two or three things you want people to remember about your child. That keeps the speech focused.
• Plan for emotion Accept that you will feel a lot. Decide if you want to read the entire piece or use cue cards with shorter lines.

Structure that works

A clear shape helps the listener and gives you a simple map to follow. Use this structure.

• Opening Say your name and your relationship. Offer one short line about what you want listeners to hold onto.
• Life snapshot Give a brief overview of the child s life in human terms. Ages dates and achievements are optional. Focus on role and personality.
• Anecdotes Share one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Meaning Say what those stories tell us about who your child was and what they taught you or others.
• Closing Offer a farewell line a short quote a song lyric a moment of silence or a call to action like lighting a candle or sharing a memory afterward.

How to write the opening

The opening is a small stage setting. Keep it simple. Start with your name and relationship and then say one sentence that sets the tone.

Opening examples

• Hello everyone. My name is Amy and I am Jonah s mom. Today we are here to remember the brightness he brought into our messy lives.
• Good afternoon. I am Marcus and I was Sam s father. I want to say a few honest things about what his laughter taught us.
• Hi. I am Nora, Ella s step parent. Ella had a way of folding stars into napkins. I want to tell you why that matters.

Writing the life snapshot

This is not a full biography. Use a few vivid facts that support the stories you will tell. Mention age only if it matters to the story. Talk about roles like sibling athlete artist student friend or volunteer rather than reciting a resume.

Life snapshot templates

• [Name] was born in [place] and grew up loving [hobby]. They were a student at [school] and known for [trait or habit].
• [Name] loved [food game song]. They had nicknames like [nicknames] and they made people feel [feeling].

Anecdotes that actually land

Stories are the heart of a eulogy. Pick short stories that show who your child was. Keep a setup a small action and a closing line about why it matters.

Examples of short anecdotes

• When Mia was six she insisted our cat had to have matching Halloween costumes. She sewed a tiny cape and insisted on an official debut parade. That parade was her way of making the ordinary feel special.
• Liam carried a pack of sunflower seeds in his pocket. He would hand them to classmates mid lecture and say here try this. He wanted people to taste the small comforts he loved.
• When Marcus was a teenager he painted murals on any blank wall he could find. His art turned alleys into places that made people stop. He taught us that color can change a day.

Addressing complicated relationships

Not every parent child relationship is simple. If your relationship had conflict you can still speak with dignity. You do not need to air grievances in public. You can acknowledge difficulty and name what you learned or how you found peace.

Examples for complicated relationships

• Our relationship with Alex was complicated. We fought and we grew. In the end we learned how to apologize and how to listen. I am grateful for those final conversations.
• We did not always understand each other. Still I knew Alex wanted to be known. I hope that knowing continues now.
• There were things left unsaid. If I could say one thing now it would be thank you for trying even when it was hard.

Using gentle humor

Humor can give people permission to breathe. Use small kind jokes that come from real life. Avoid anything that could embarrass the child or another family member.

Gentle humor examples

• He had a talent for leaving socks everywhere and calling it modern design. If you found a single sock in a drawer you knew he had been there.
• She believed that all serious problems could be solved with glitter and a playlist. It mostly worked.

What to avoid

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a family dispute or private therapy session.
• Avoid gratuitous details about cause of death unless the family has asked for that information to be shared.
• Avoid long lists of achievements without stories that bring them to life.
• Avoid jokes that rely on shock value or that single out people in the room.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Example 1: Infant loss, short and tender

Good morning. I am Claire and I am Noah s mother. Noah lived for just a few days but in those days he made our world softer and quieter in the best possible way. We learned how to whisper the word love until it felt like a song. I remember the way his little hand curled around my finger and how time, for a moment, slowed down. We will carry that small fist of trust with us forever. Thank you for being here to hold us and to remember him.

Example 2: Child or preteen, three to four minute version

Hello. I am David, Mia s dad. Mia was ten years old and she had two obsessions, dinosaurs and midnight pancakes. If you ever wondered about the best dinosaur name, Mia had a list and a performance prepared. She believed pancakes were an excellent problem solver and offered them readily. Mia taught us to find wonder in small things and to insist on seconds when life gets tough. We will miss her laugh and the way she rearranged our living room into a stage. Light a candle for Mia tonight and if you can, eat a pancake in her memory.

Example 3: Teen or young adult, honest and loving

Hi, I am Priya and I am Jonah s mother. Jonah was twenty one and he was a person who asked hard questions about justice and about music. He taught his classmates how to make chai and his friends how to show up. Jonah could get quiet and then suddenly fill the room with a song. He made us better by refusing easy answers. I am so proud of the courage he showed in standing for people. Please join me in holding his memory by listening more and by playing one more song on purpose.

Example 4: Adult child with complicated feelings

My name is Tom. My son Ezra and I had a relationship that was sometimes rough. We did not always speak the same language. Still, Ezra taught me to be softer in the way I apologized. In the last year we had small victories, coffee shop conversations that lasted too long and short goodbyes that meant everything. I will miss his sarcasm and his generosity. If I could say one thing to him now it would be thank you and I love you. We will take that love forward.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates to get words on the page. Replace bracketed text with your details and then read the result out loud. Edit until the lines feel like you.

Template A: Short and direct

My name is [Your Name]. I am [child s name] parent. [Child s name] loved [one hobby or trait]. One small memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here to remember them with us.

Template B: For complicated relationships

I am [Your Name]. My relationship with [child s name] was not simple. We had arguments about [small example] and we had small moments of repair. In the end I learned [lesson] and I am grateful for the chance to have known them. If I could say one thing now it would be [short line].

Template C: Celebratory and slightly funny

Hi, I am [Your Name]. To know [child s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. They also made sure that [practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. We will miss their [trait] and their ability to make a bad joke into a better day. Thank you for being here to laugh and to grieve with us.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics help you stay steady and present.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to handle than a phone when your hands shake.
• Use index cards Small cards with one or two lines each make it simpler to find your place and to breathe between thoughts.
• Mark pauses Put a note where you will pause for a breath or for audience reaction. Pauses give you time to collect yourself.
• Practice out loud Read your words to a friend to see what lands. Practice tells your throat and your chest what to expect.
• Bring water and tissues This sounds basic and it helps. A sip of water can steady your voice.
• Arrange a backup If you think you may not finish ask a friend or family member to be ready to step in and close the speech if needed.
• Use the microphone properly Keep it a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If there is no mic project calmly to the back row.

When you absolutely cannot get through it

If you begin and feel you cannot continue pause breathe and say I need a moment. People will wait. If you decide you cannot finish hand your notes to a prepared friend or to the officiant and ask them to finish with your last line. It is okay to be human in that room.

How to include readings songs and photos

Short readings work best. A two to four line excerpt from a poem or a lyric can be powerful. If you include music check with the venue about playing a recorded track and about timing. Photos can be shown as a slideshow or printed in a program. Keep things brief and intentional. If you use religious language make sure it matches the family s preferences.

Logistics and who to tell

• Let the funeral director know if you need a microphone or a printed copy in the program.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Decide if you want the text available afterwards and who will receive it.

After the eulogy

People will often ask for a copy. Offer to email it to those who ask and decide with the family whether it will be printed or posted. Many families also put the text in a memory book or save an audio recording for those who could not attend. Ask permission before posting any recording online because some families prefer privacy.

Glossary of useful terms

• Eulogy A speech given to honor someone who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and lists service details.
• Order of service The sequence of readings music and speakers for a funeral or memorial.
• Celebration of life A less formal event that focuses on stories photos and music.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life near the end of life.
• Grief counselling Professional support for people coping with loss.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am overwhelmed

Start with your name and your relationship to the child. A simple opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Child s Name] parent gives you a moment to breathe and lets listeners settle. Practice that line until it feels steady.

What do I do if I cry and cannot continue

Pause and breathe. Look at your notes. If you cannot continue ask a trusted person to finish for you. Many people plan a short handoff line such as Please hold me in your thoughts as [Name] rests or I will ask [Name of friend] to close for me. That prepares the audience.

Should I mention cause of death

Only if the family wants that information public. If the cause is sensitive keeping the focus on the person and their life is often kinder to listeners and to family members who are still processing.

Can I include humor

Yes small kind humor that comes from real memories can help people breathe. Avoid jokes that single out people or that could embarrass the child or family.

What if the relationship was estranged

You can speak honestly without airing private grievances. Acknowledge complexity and offer one true memory or a lesson. Short honest lines can be more powerful than long explanations.

How long should the eulogy be

Aim for three to five minutes if possible. Short is memorable and allows others to speak if the service includes multiple tributes.