How to Write a Eulogy for Your Nanny - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your nanny feels tender and important. You might be the person who learned how to tie shoelaces because of her or the adult who still calls when you need a recipe. Nannies can be family in an unofficial, deeply felt way. This guide helps you write something honest and memorable even if you are grieving, busy, or not used to public speaking. We break it down into simple steps, explain terms that pop up, and give real examples and templates you can adapt for your voice.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anybody who wants to speak about a nanny at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside event. Maybe you were a kid she raised, maybe you are a parent who relied on her for decades, or maybe she cared for your children and became a cherished friend. If your relationship was joyful, complicated, or somewhere in between this guide gives you options and scripts to make the moment manageable.

What is a eulogy and how is it different from an obituary

A eulogy is a short speech honoring someone who has died. It is personal, anecdotal, and usually delivered at a funeral or memorial. An obituary is a written notice with basic facts like birth and death dates, survivors, and service details. Both matter but they serve different purposes. The eulogy tells the story of who that person was to the people gathered.

Terms you might see

• Nanny A caregiver who looks after children in a family s home. Nannies can be full time, part time, live in, or come for specific hours. Their role often includes emotional and daily support in addition to childcare tasks.
• Caregiver A broader term for anyone who provides care to a person in need whether a child, an elderly relative, or someone with health issues.
• Obituary A written announcement of a death that includes biographical details and service information.
• Order of service The program for the funeral or memorial that lists who speaks, what music plays, and the sequence of events.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories and photos rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care that specializes in comfort and quality of life for people nearing the end of life. It is not always a place; it can involve in home support.

How long should a eulogy for your nanny be

Short and focused usually has more impact. Aim for three to six minutes which is around 400 to 700 spoken words. If you are going to cry frequently or if many people are speaking, choose a shorter piece that gives a clear portrait. Remember quality over quantity. A single vivid story will stick with listeners more than a long list of accomplishments.

Before you start writing

Preparing makes the words come easier. Use this quick plan.

• Ask about time Check with the family or officiant on how long you are expected to speak and where the eulogy fits in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want it tender, lightly funny, formal, or a mix? Make sure close family is comfortable with the tone.
• Collect memories Talk to siblings, parents, or the kids she cared for and ask for one short memory each. Small details like a nickname or a recipe are gold.
• Pick two to three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about her. For example kindness, work ethic, and the way she sang lullabies loudly and off key.

Structure that works

Simple structure keeps you grounded. Use this shape.

• Opening Say your name and your relationship to the nanny. Offer a one sentence frame for what you will talk about.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of who she was. Keep it practical. Mention roles like caregiver, friend, neighbor, or community volunteer.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory. A good story has a setup, an action, and a small payoff.
• Lessons and traits Summarize the values she passed on or the things people will miss.
• Closing End with a short goodbye line, a quote, or an invitation for the audience to remember a moment of their own.

How to write the opening

Open simple and emotionally honest. Start with your name and relationship. Then say one clear sentence that sets the tone. That first sentence is your anchor when the nerves show up.

Opening examples

• Hello. I am Maya and I am one of the kids Sara raised when she worked for our family. Today I want to say what it felt like to have her in the house like a second mom.
• Hi everyone. I am Tom and I was lucky to call Rosa not just our nanny but a true friend. I will tell two quick stories that explain why she became family.
• Good afternoon. My name is Linda and I represent the small army of tired parents who relied on Nina. She kept our household afloat and our kids entertained with no small amount of magic.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for your story. Mention where she came from if it shaped her life and any long term roles she had. Keep it conversational and short.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place]. She cared for children for over [number] years and worked for our family for [years]. She loved [hobby] and had a knack for turning leftovers into feasts.
• [Name] moved to [city] after [life event]. She balanced a warm laugh and strict rules. She taught our kids to be curious and to always wash their hands before dinner.

Anecdotes that capture her

Stories are the backbone of a good eulogy. Pick anecdotes that are short, specific, and reveal character. Use sensory details such as smells, sounds, or small gestures. Each story should have a clear point that ties back to the traits you want to highlight.

Examples of short anecdotes

• When I was sick as a kid she made a soup that tasted like medicine and love. It never fixed everything but it always made the world feel manageable for a little while.
• She had a rule that socks were sacred. Mismatched socks meant extra chores. Somehow that rule made mornings less chaotic and more punctual.
• She taught my daughter to ride a bike in our cul de sac and cried when she finally pedaled away. She pretended it was a proud injury but we all knew it was love.

Addressing complicated or boundary crossing relationships

Nanny relationships can be complex. Sometimes she was more like family, sometimes a professional who kept distance. If there were boundary issues be honest without being hurtful. You do not need to air private grievances at a public event. Acknowledge complexity and focus on what you learned or how you found closure.

Examples for complicated relationships

• Our nanny was not perfect. She made tough calls and sometimes I disagreed. Over time I came to respect how hard she worked and how much she cared in her own way.
• She pushed our kids to be independent. It felt strict at the time and we learned the value of self reliance later on because of that structure.

Using humor the right way

Small earned humor gives the room permission to breathe. Use anecdotes that make people laugh but that are kind. Avoid anything that could embarrass the children she cared for or stir up family tension.

Safe humor examples

• She had a secret weapon against bedtime stalling. It was an odd song she called the Sleep Cannon. It worked 99 percent of the time and baffled parenting experts we knew.
• She once taught my son to bargain with the cookie jar. He still thinks he can negotiate. He is terrible at math but excellent at persuasion.

What to avoid when writing about your nanny

• Do not use the eulogy as a place to settle scores or share private family drama.
• Do not read a list of every credential or job title. Stories humanize achievements.
• Do not include confidential details about employment disputes, pay, or immigration status at a public event.
• Do not overstretch humor into mean jokes about family members or the deceased.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are ready to use examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and adjust tone to fit the occasion.

Example 1: Short and warm, ideal for a small funeral

Hello. I am Alex and I grew up with Rosa in our kitchen where she taught me how to make the perfect grilled cheese. Rosa was with our family for fifteen years. She brimmed with patience and had an uncanny talent for finding lost toys under couches.

One small moment that captures her was a rainy Thursday when my little sister refused to go to school. Rosa sat with her at the kitchen table and made a paper crown. Suddenly school was an adventure and my sister walked out smiling. That crown lasted three days and taught us the power of small rituals. Rosa taught us to look for solutions that made sense for kids. She taught us kindness in action.

We will miss her laugh, her soup that healed any bruise, and the way she kept our home steady. Thank you for being here to remember her with us.

Example 2: Funny and tender for a celebration of life

Hi everyone. I am Priya and my kids call her Grandma Asha even though she would remind them that she was not actually family on paper. She walked in with a tote of snacks and a no nonsense attitude that somehow included unlimited cuddles.

Asha believed in rules that made sense. Bedtime was non negotiable but so was dessert if you had sung a song. She loved long Bollywood dramas and would pause the TV to explain the moral of the story which mostly involved honesty and strong eyebrows. We learned more than bedtime routines from her. We learned to listen and to laugh loudly. Today let us remember her loudly because she would not want anything polite about her memory.

Example 3: Honest for a complicated relationship

My name is Jordan. Our nanny, Ellen, was a steady presence over ten years. We had disagreements about screen time and discipline and at times she and I butted heads. Still what I cannot deny is her fierce consistency. She showed up every day and loved my kids ferociously even when we had different parenting ideas. In the end we found a rhythm that worked and that rhythm made my children confident and curious. I am grateful for that consistency and for the small kindnesses that only someone who cared deeply would give. Thank you, Ellen.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates as a starting point. Fill the blanks and then read aloud and edit until it sounds like you.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [relation such as former employer or child she cared for]. [Nanny s name] worked with our family for [years]. She loved [hobby or thing] and she had a rule about [small habit]. One memory that shows who she was is [brief story]. She taught us [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here with us.

Template B: For parents who want to honor professional care

Hello. I am [Your Name]. As parents we trusted [Nanny s name] with the most important people in our lives. She had an ability to calm meltdowns and coax curiosity out of toddlers. She also respected boundaries and taught our children everyday routines that made our house a home. My favorite small memory is [story]. Today we thank her for her patience, her practical wisdom, and the ways she made our family stronger.

Template C: Short from a grown child

Hi. I am [Your Name] and I grew up with [Nanny s name] in our home. She taught me how to [skill]. She also showed up for birthdays and scraped knees with equal urgency. If I had one thing to say to her today it would be [short line]. Thank you for everything.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is tough. These basics will keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font and a backup copy. Paper is less likely to betray you than a phone battery.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with one main line each help you keep moving. Do not overcrowd them.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you expect the room to laugh or where you need to breathe. Pauses help you and the listeners process emotion.
• Practice out loud Read your eulogy once or twice out loud. Practicing reduces the chance of surprises and helps you find a comfortable pacing.
• Bring tissues and water Pack them in a pocket. A sip of water and two breaths will often steady a wavering voice.
• Arrange a backup If you worry you may not finish, ask a trusted friend to be ready to step in and finish a line if needed.
• Check the mic If there is a microphone test it beforehand and hold it a few inches from your mouth. If there is no mic project slowly and clearly to the back row.

When you want to cry while reading

Crying is normal and acceptable. Pause, take a breath, look down at your notes, and continue. If you cannot continue ask your backup to read the closing sentence. Audiences want to support you and will wait. Saying fewer words more slowly often reads as deeper emotion than rushing through everything.

Including readings, poems, and music

Short readings work best. If you include a poem pick a few lines rather than a long piece. Songs can be meaningful. Pick music that was special to her or a melody that matches the mood of the event. Check with the officiant and the venue about playing recorded music and provide printed text when possible.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Provide a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service for inclusion in the program if desired.

Sharing the eulogy later

People will ask for a copy. Offer to email it to those who request it. Some families include the text in a memory book or print it in the funeral program. Ask permission before posting any audio or video online. Privacy is important and some families prefer to keep ceremonies within their circle.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Nanny A person employed to care for children in a private household.
• Caregiver Someone who provides physical or emotional care to others.
• Obituary A public notice of death that includes biographical information and funeral details.
• Order of service A printed or spoken plan for the funeral or memorial listing music, readings, and speakers.
• Celebration of life A less formal event focusing on stories, photos, and shared memories.
• Hospice Support focused on comfort and quality of life for people nearing the end of life. It can be provided at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Abbreviation for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used to ask people to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to the nanny. A simple line like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am here on behalf of the children she cared for gives the room context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause and breathe. Look at your notes and find the next sentence. If you cannot continue have a friend ready to finish your closing lines. The audience will support you and understand the emotion.

Should I include the nanny s employment details

You can include broad facts like how many years she worked for the family but avoid reading a long employment history. Choose one or two things that show commitment and character rather than an exhaustive list.

Can I use humor

Yes. Small, earned humor can offer relief and make your tribute feel human. Use stories that are kind and inclusive and avoid jokes that might embarrass a child or family member.

How long should the eulogy be when multiple people are speaking

Coordinate with the family and the officiant. If several people are speaking aim for two to four minutes each so the service stays within the planned schedule. Shorter pieces that highlight different perspectives can be more powerful than a single long speech.

Is it okay to read the eulogy from a phone

Yes you can but be mindful of screen brightness and the risk of interruptions. Many people prefer printed pages or index cards because they feel more reliable when emotions run high.