Writing a eulogy for your Nanay can feel like the most important and the hardest thing at once. You want to honor her, share the truth of who she was, and still make it through speaking without losing your voice. This guide gives clear steps, real examples in English and Tagalog, and fill in the blank templates you can adapt. We explain any terms that might be unfamiliar and offer delivery tips that actually help when you are emotional. Read through, pick an example that fits your Nanay, and start drafting.
We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.
That is why we created our Online Eulogy Writing Assistant. It gently walks you through the process of creating the perfect eulogy for your loved one that truly honors their legacy. → Find Out More
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- Who this guide is for
- First things first. What does Nanay mean
- What is a eulogy
- Useful terms you might hear
- How long should a eulogy be
- Before you start writing
- A simple structure that works
- How to start writing the opening
- Writing the life sketch
- Anecdotes that stick
- Using Tagalog lines in your eulogy
- Addressing complicated relationships
- How to include humor the right way
- What to avoid in a eulogy
- Full eulogy examples you can adapt
- Example 1 Loving Nanay three to four minute version in English with a Tagalog line
- Example 2 Short modern eulogy under two minutes in mixed English and Tagalog
- Example 3 Complicated relationship honest and respectful
- Example 4 Celebration of life tone with humor
- Fill in the blank templates
- Practical tips for delivery
- When tears come while you speak
- Including prayers, readings, songs and cultural elements
- Logistics to handle before the service
- After the eulogy
- Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Frequently asked questions
Who this guide is for
This article is for anyone asked to speak about their Nanay at a wake, funeral, memorial, or celebration of life. Maybe you are a child, a grandchild, or a close friend. Maybe your relationship was tender, complicated, funny, or all of the above. There are sample scripts for short remarks, longer tributes, a piece that mixes Tagalog lines with English, and ideas for when the relationship was not simple.
First things first. What does Nanay mean
Nanay means mother in Tagalog. It is a warm and familiar word that carries family, care, and cultural patterns that matter at services. In Filipino families Nanay often implies both emotional labor and everyday practical care. If your Nanay was called Mama, Inay, or Mom, you can use the word that feels right to the people who will be listening.
What is a eulogy
A eulogy is a short speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who died. It is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice with basic facts and service details. A eulogy is personal. It is a story. It does not need to be perfect. It needs to be honest and clear.
Useful terms you might hear
- Wake A gathering where family and friends come together to remember the person who has died. In Filipino culture wakes can last several days and include prayers like the rosary.
- Rosary A set of prayers in Catholic tradition often said at wakes and funerals. It can be prayed in English, Tagalog, or a mix.
- Mass A Catholic church service that may include a eulogy or a separate commemoration during the liturgy.
- Visitation A general term for when people come to pay their respects before the burial or cremation.
- Order of service The schedule of the event listing speakers, readings, and music. Think of it as the program.
- Pallbearer Someone chosen to carry the casket. Usually close family or friends.
- Obituary A published notice announcing the death and service details often found online or in newspapers.
- RIP An abbreviation for Rest In Peace. It is commonly used online and in cards.
How long should a eulogy be
Short and focused is usually better. Aim for three to six minutes when you speak. That is about 400 to 800 spoken words. If you are nervous about crying, a shorter meaningful piece is often more powerful than a long speech that loses shape.
Before you start writing
Do a little planning first. It makes everything less overwhelming.
- Ask about time Confirm with the family or officiant how long you can speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
- Pick the tone Do you want solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Check with close family so the tone suits the event and the Nanay.
- Gather stories Write down small memories, favorite sayings, nicknames, and routines. Ask siblings, cousins, or friends for one memory each.
- Choose three focus points Pick three things you want listeners to remember. Three is small enough to hold and big enough to give shape.
A simple structure that works
Structure gives you permission to be clear. Use this shape.
- Opening Say who you are and your relationship to Nanay. Offer a single sentence that sets the tone.
- Life sketch A brief overview of Nanay s life focusing on the roles that mattered like daughter, mother, worker, neighbor, or volunteer.
- Anecdotes One or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory.
- Lessons and traits Summarize the values she passed on or the things people will miss.
- Closing A goodbye line, a short Tagalog blessing, a poem line, or an invitation to share memories.
How to start writing the opening
Open simply. Say your name and your relationship. Then say one clear sentence about what today is for. That buys you a breath to steady your voice.
Opening examples
- Magandang umaga. I am Lara and I am Nanay Rosa s youngest daughter. Today we come together to remember how she fed us with hands and with stories.
- Hello everyone. My name is Ben. I am her eldest son. Nanay loved loud karaoke and quiet prayers. I want to say one quick thing about how she taught us to keep going.
- Hi. I m Ana, her granddaughter. Nanay was the person who always had room at her table and a hug for anyone who needed it.
Writing the life sketch
The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick facts that support the story you are telling. Use plain language. Avoid a list of jobs without context. Focus on roles and meaningful moments.
Templates for a life sketch
- [Name] was born in [place]. She worked as [job] and later as [role]. She was daughter, wife, mother, and a friend to many. She loved [song food hobby].
- [Name] moved to [city] and built a home where everyone felt welcome. She made the best [dish] and never missed a family birthday even when she was tired.
Anecdotes that stick
People remember stories. Tell one or two small scenes that show character. Keep them short with a setup, an action, and a line that explains why it matters.
Short anecdote examples
- Every Sunday Nanay made rice and never measured it. She would say rice is like love you cannot measure it and there will always be enough.
- When my bike tire went flat she ran to the sari sari store and came back with a soda and a smile and then fixed the tube herself. She taught me resourcefulness without a lecture.
- Her karaoke voice was proud and off key but she sang anyway. It taught us to show up even when you are not perfect.
Using Tagalog lines in your eulogy
Mixing Tagalog and English is common and powerful. A short Tagalog phrase can connect emotionally. If you use Tagalog, make sure the audience understands or follow the phrase with a brief translation.
Examples of simple Tagalog lines
- Mahal ka namin meaning We love you can be a strong closing line.
- Salamat, Nanay meaning Thank you, Nanay works well after a specific memory.
- Magpahinga ka na meaning Rest now can be a gentle farewell that many will understand.
Addressing complicated relationships
Not every relationship with a Nanay was uncomplicated. If things were messy you can still speak honestly and with respect. You do not need to air private grievances. Acknowledge complexity and focus on lessons, closure, or gratitude where you can honestly claim it.
Examples for complicated relationships
- My relationship with Nanay was complicated. We had fights and quiet years. In the last months we learned to say sorry more easily. I am grateful for that small peace.
- She could be stubborn and protective. Those traits made some things hard. They also taught me to stand up for myself and to care fiercely for those I love.
How to include humor the right way
Humor can be permission to breathe. Use earned, gentle jokes not shock value. Test punches with someone who will be honest. Avoid anything that could embarrass the deceased or single out someone present.
Safe humor examples
- Nanay had two rules eat first then ask questions. We respected both rules dearly.
- She called her plants her children and fed them more than she fed herself. That explains my plant care skills now.
What to avoid in a eulogy
- Avoid turning the eulogy into a therapy session for family disputes.
- Avoid private family secrets that could hurt people present.
- Avoid long lists of achievements without stories that make those facts human.
- Avoid overused cliches unless you immediately follow them with a specific example.
Full eulogy examples you can adapt
Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and read them out loud to trim anything that feels awkward.
Example 1 Loving Nanay three to four minute version in English with a Tagalog line
Magandang umaga. My name is Clara and I am Nanay Lydia s daughter. It is an honor to say a few words about my mother.
Nanay Lydia grew up in Batangas and moved here in her twenties. She worked as a seamstress and later sold snacks at the market. She was a daughter, a wife, a mother, and a friend to anyone who needed a hand. She loved singing old Filipino songs and she never missed Simbang Gabi during Christmas season.
One small story that captures her is about her kitchen. She believed that if you had fresh garlic and a warm pot you could solve most problems. When I was fifteen and heartbroken she made me sinigang and told me firmly you will eat and then you will think better. She was right. She taught us patience, practicality, and that food can be medicine.
We will miss her laugh, the smell of garlic in the house, and the way she insisted on hugs when she left the room. Mahal ka namin Nanay. Thank you for everything.
Example 2 Short modern eulogy under two minutes in mixed English and Tagalog
Hello everyone. I am Miguel and I am her son. Mom loved karaoke, strong coffee, and telling bad knock knock jokes. She taught me how to be stubborn in a good way and how to make a perfect lumpia. In Tagalog I want to say Salamat, Nanay. Thank you for the lessons and the laughs. Please join us later to share one short memory if you like.
Example 3 Complicated relationship honest and respectful
My name is Rosa. My relationship with my Nanay was not simple. We had years of silence and small reconciliations. In the last months we sat together and she apologized for things she could not take back and I apologized for things I could. We did not fix everything but we found a softer place. I will remember her stubborn generosity and the way she defended us even when she was tired. Magpahinga ka na, Nanay. Rest now.
Example 4 Celebration of life tone with humor
Hi. I m Paolo. If you met my Nanay you know she had two rules in life. Rule one was bring food if you visit. Rule two was if you brought the wrong food she would exchange it politely and then make you try her version anyway. Today we celebrate her life and the many meals she shared. She made every day feel like a small party. Thank you for the joy Nanay gave us all.
Fill in the blank templates
Fill in the blanks and then edit to make it sound like you. Read it out loud and trim anything that feels forced.
Template A Classic short
My name is [Your Name]. I am [Nanay s name] child. [Nanay s name] was born in [place]. She loved [hobby food song]. She worked as [job]. One memory that shows who she was is [brief story]. She taught me [value]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Salamat, Nanay. Thank you.
Template B For complicated relationships
My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Nanay s name] was complicated. We did not always understand each other. We fought about [small example]. Over time I came to appreciate [something positive]. In the last [months years] we [reconciled had talks found peace]. If I could say one thing to her now it would be [short line you want to say].
Template C Light and funny with sincerity
Hello. I am [Your Name]. To know [Nanay s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. She also taught us [life practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. Even her jokes had work to do. I will miss her jokes and the way she folded towels like a small artist. Thank you.
Practical tips for delivery
Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics help keep you steady.
- Print your speech Use large font and simple paper. Paper is easier than a bright screen when you are emotional.
- Use cue cards Small cards with one idea per card help you find your place and breathe between points.
- Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or expect laughter. Pauses give you time to regroup.
- Practice out loud Read to a friend, to a mirror, or to a recording device. Practicing calms your throat and your mind.
- Bring tissues and water A glass of water helps your voice. Tissues are a comfort.
- Have a backup If you think you will not finish arrange for someone to introduce you or to step in if you need a moment.
- Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal pace. If there is no mic speak slowly and project to the back row.
When tears come while you speak
If you cry that is okay. Pause, breathe, look at your notes, and then continue. If your voice breaks slow down and say fewer words more deliberately. The audience will wait. You are allowed to be human in that room.
Including prayers, readings, songs and cultural elements
Short prayers or a Tagalog hymn can be comforting. If you include a rosary reading or a long prayer check with the officiant first. Music can be live or recorded. Pick songs your Nanay loved or songs that match the tone. Keep music as a brief interlude rather than a long pause between speakers.
Logistics to handle before the service
- Confirm length with the family and the officiant.
- Ask where you will stand and if a microphone is provided.
- Provide a copy of your remarks to the person running the program so they can keep the event on schedule.
- Decide if you want your remarks printed in a memory book or program. Some families like to keep a copy for the family archive.
After the eulogy
People will probably ask for your copy. Offer to email it or place it in a memory book. Some families like to record audio and share it privately. Check with family members about posting a recording online before you do so.
Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Nanay Tagalog word for mother. It carries warmth, authority, and everyday care.
- Wake A gathering to remember the deceased often held before burial or cremation.
- Rosary A Catholic set of prayers often said during wakes and funerals.
- Mass The Catholic church service which may include a commemorative speech or special prayers.
- Order of service The schedule for the event listing speakers, music, and readings.
- Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket usually a close family member or friend.
- Obituary A written announcement of the death and service details often posted online or in a paper.
- RIP Short for Rest In Peace. Commonly used in cards and online messages.
Frequently asked questions
How do I start if I am nervous
Begin with your name and relationship to Nanay. A short opening like Hello, my name is [Your Name] and I am Nanay [Name] child gives context and a breath to steady you. Practice this opening until it feels familiar. It will help you when you begin.
What if I forget my place or start crying
Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a short break take it. If you cannot continue, have a trusted family member or friend ready to step in. Keeping your comments brief reduces the chance you will lose your place.
Should I use Tagalog or English
Use whichever language feels most honest and which the audience will understand. Mixing Tagalog and English is common and powerful. When you use Tagalog consider adding a short translation if many listeners do not speak it.
Can I include a prayer or rosary reading
Yes but confirm with the officiant first. Keep prayers short or include a short excerpt. If the family wants a long rosary it is usually its own part of the wake and not part of the eulogy.
How long should a eulogy be
Three to six minutes is a good target. Shorter is often more memorable. Coordinate with other speakers so the service stays on schedule.
Is humor okay in a eulogy
Yes, gentle earned humor often helps people breathe. Use jokes rooted in real memories. Avoid anything that might embarrass or hurt family members present.
Should I submit my eulogy to the funeral home
Giving a copy to the funeral director or the person running the order of service is helpful. They can keep the schedule on track and include the text in a program or memory book if the family wants that.
Can I record and share the eulogy online
Ask the family before posting. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved include a short note about how people can donate if the family requested donations in memory of Nanay.