How to Write a Eulogy for Your Nan - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Saying a few words about your nan can feel impossible and essential at the same time. You want to honor her, tell a true story, and make it through the speech without falling apart. This guide breaks the job into small, usable steps. You will find examples you can adapt, fill in the blank templates, and delivery tips that actually work. We explain any terms or acronyms you might see and give scenarios for different tones like gentle, funny, short, and complicated. Read through and pick the bits that fit your family.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about their nan at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or wake. Maybe you were the obvious pick because you lived nearby or maybe you are the person who can stand up and tell a story without it turning into a full therapy hour. Maybe your relationship with your nan was messy. That is okay. There are sample scripts for tender, funny, short, and honest needs.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors someone who has died. It often appears as part of a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that gives basic facts like birth date, surviving relatives, and service details. A eulogy is personal. It is a story. It is allowed to be imperfect.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A published notice about a death that usually lists biographical details and service information.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. Pallbearers are often close relatives or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and shared memories rather than traditional rituals.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for people nearing the end of life. Hospice care can be delivered at home or in a facility.
• Wake A gathering before or after a funeral where people come to pay respects. The wake can be private or open to the public.
• Viewing A chance to see the person who has died, sometimes with the body present. Not every family chooses a viewing.
• RSVP Stands for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It appears on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and clear is better than long and vague. Aim for three to five minutes. That usually translates to about four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. If you are nervous about crying, a short heartfelt tribute can be more powerful than a long speech that loses focus.

Before you start writing

Preparation makes everything easier. Use this quick plan.

• Confirm time Ask the family or officiant how long you are expected to speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want it to be solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Check with close family so the tone suits your nan and the audience.
• Gather material Collect nicknames, dates, jobs, hobbies, and three or four short stories. Ask siblings, cousins, or close friends for one memory each.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about your nan. Three is small enough to hold and big enough to shape a speech.
• Decide any readings If you want a poem or a short Bible verse or a song lyric, choose just a small excerpt where possible.

Structure that works

Good structure gives permission to the listener and to you. Use this simple shape.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer a single sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of your nan s life in practical strokes. Focus on roles like daughter, partner, parent, grandparent, worker, neighbor, or volunteer.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Lessons and traits Summarize the values she passed on or the things people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short quote, a poem excerpt, or an invitation to share memories after the service.

How to write the opening

The opening is where you set the stage. Keep it simple. Start with your name and your relationship to your nan. Then say one clear sentence about what the day is for.

Opening examples

• Hello, I m Emma and I am Nana Joan s granddaughter. Today we are here to remember how she filled our kitchens with cinnamon and stories.
• Hi everyone, I m James and I am Nan Sylvia s grandson. I want to say a little about how she made every garden feel like it had a front row seat for miracles.
• Good afternoon, I m Noor and I am her eldest grandchild. My nan taught me how to mend socks and how to say sorry with meaning.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you are telling. Use plain language and avoid listing every job. Think about the roles your nan played that shaped her life and yours.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place] in [year]. She worked as a [job] and later spent her time [hobby volunteer role]. She was a daughter, a partner, a mother, and a devoted nan to [names or count].
• [Name] moved to [city] when she was young. She loved [hobby], perfected [signature dish], and never missed an opportunity to [habit].

Anecdotes that actually land

People remember stories more than statements. Anecdotes ground your speech. Keep them short, sensory, and with a small payoff. A good story has a setup, an action, and a line that explains why it matters.

Examples of short anecdotes

• When I was six she taught me how to bake by letting me crack three eggs into my shoe. It felt like chaos for five minutes and then we had the fluffiest pancakes ever. She trusted me and she laughed when I learned.
• She had a rule about Sunday dinners. Whoever arrived late had to wash up. We were always late so she never lost her washing cloths and she never stopped smiling.
• On holiday drives she would hum tunes from her childhood and invent new words to them. We would all sing along and no one ever knew what the song was supposed to be about. It was enough that she was singing.

Addressing a complicated relationship with your nan

Not every relationship is simple. If your relationship with your nan was strained you can still speak honestly and with dignity. Focus on truth and intention. You do not need to air private grievances in public. You can acknowledge difficulty and point to small reconciliations or lessons learned.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My nan could be stubborn and frank to a fault. We did not always agree. In the last few years she softened and taught me about showing up even when it was uncomfortable.
• We had arguments that seemed to go on forever. Still, she showed up for my first job interview and clapped the loudest at my graduation. That mattered to me then and it matters now.
• She was honest in ways that sometimes hurt and sometimes helped. I remember the times she pushed me because she believed I could do more. For that I am grateful.

Using humor the right way

Humor can feel like permission to breathe. Use small, earned jokes not shock value. Test them on someone who will be honest about whether the joke lands. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience.

Safe humor examples

• Nan had two speeds, steady and faster than the kettle. If you were late she had already loaded your plate and your life with tea.
• She taught us how to reuse jars, how to repair a button, and how to tell a story that always ended with the same punchline. We still laugh about it.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid letting the speech become a therapy session or a place for family disputes.
• Avoid gossip or private family secrets that could hurt people present.
• Avoid reading long lists of achievements without stories that make them human.
• Avoid cliches like she was one of a kind unless you immediately give a specific detail that makes it true.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples you can copy and personalize. Each one follows the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details.

Example 1: Steady loving nan, three to four minute version

Hello, I am Clare and I am Nan Margaret s granddaughter. Margaret grew up in a small coastal town and moved here in her twenties to work at the bakery. She knew every customer by name and every secret pastry trick. She married David and together they made a home full of books and boiled sweets. They raised two children who learned how to mend a hem and how to set a proper table.

One memory that captures her is our summer picnics. Nan would pack a thermos of tea, three types of sandwiches, and a blanket that smelled of rose soap. The wind would always try to steal the napkins and she would laugh and chase it like it was a grand adventure. She taught us that small rituals make life gentler.

She volunteered at the local library for thirty years and believed stories could fix many things. She taught me to read under the bed covers with a torch when I could not sleep. She taught me patience and how to listen without always having to fix things. We will miss the sound of her humming in the kitchen and the way she made every meal feel like a welcome. Thank you for being here and for sharing her memory with us.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hi everyone, I am Tom and I am Nan Elsie s grandson. Elsie loved crossword puzzles, lemon drizzle cake, and telling you exactly how to fold a fitted sheet. She taught me to keep my promises and to always offer a cup of tea. We will miss her recipes and her precise sock folding. Thank you for joining us today.

Example 3: Funny and warm celebration of life tone

Hello, I am Aisha, her oldest grandchild. If you knew my nan you know she had two rules. Rule one be kind. Rule two if you are caught lying about who ate the biscuits you will be asked to bake a fresh batch to confess. She kept biscuits on standby. She loved a good gossip as long as it was wrapped in kindness. Today we celebrate her sharp humour and her generous heart. Please laugh with us as we remember her messy, brilliant self. And yes, there are biscuits in the hall.

Example 4: Honest and respectful for a complicated relationship

My name is Mark. My nan, Ruth, was not always easy to get along with. She could be blunt and she expected a lot. We had our arguments but we also had quiet mornings drinking tea and watching the rain. In her later years she said things that mattered to me and we found peace in small moments. I will remember her for teaching me how to stand my ground and how to forgive quickly. Thank you for being here to honor her presence among us.

Fill in the blank templates

Fill in the blanks and then edit to make it sound like you. Read it out loud and trim anything that sounds forced.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [nan s name] s [granddaughter grandson]. [Nan s name] was born in [place or year]. She loved [one hobby], she worked as [job], and she was the person we called when [small task or habit]. One memory that shows the kind of person she was is [brief story]. She taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and supporting our family.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [nan s name] was complicated. We disagreed and we healed in small ways. She could be [brief challenging trait]. Over time I learned [something positive]. If I could say one thing to her now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: Light and funny with sincerity

Hi, I am [Your Name]. To know [nan s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. She also insisted we learn [practical life skill]. My favourite memory is [funny small story]. She made us laugh and she taught us how to make a perfect cuppa. I will miss her jokes and her exacting towel folding. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Do not try to read from a phone unless you have practiced with it. Paper can be less distracting when emotions are high.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with a few lines each make it easier to keep your place. They are less likely to slip from nervous hands.
• Mark pauses Put a note where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, to a mirror, or to your dog. Practicing helps your throat and heart know the pace.
• Bring tissues Or a handkerchief. Tears are normal. If you stop take a breath, sip water, and continue. The audience will wait.
• Arrange a back up If you think you will not get through it, ask a family member or friend to introduce you and to be ready to finish a line if needed.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If there is no microphone project to the back row with steady pacing.

When you want to cry while reading

If tears come that is okay. Pause, breathe, look down at your notes, and then continue. If your voice breaks slow down. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful. Remember you are allowed to be human in that room.

How to include readings, poems, and music

Short readings work best. If you include a poem pick a two to four line excerpt rather than reading a long piece. Readings can be religious or secular. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with the piece and consider printing the text in the program for those who want to follow along.

Music choices

• Pick songs your nan loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
• If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
• Keep music short and use it to support the speech, for example as a brief interlude or after a powerful line.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or printed copies of your speech.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the service so it can be included in a program or memory book.

Recording the eulogy and sharing it

Ask permission before posting a recording online. Some families prefer privacy. If you do share add a brief note about where any donations will go or how people can share their memories with the family. Private sharing through email or a family group is often the kindest option.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a glass of water if allowed.
• Arrange a small signal with a trusted person to help if you need them to finish a sentence.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories and photos rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice can be at home or a facility.
• Wake A gathering where people come to pay respects. It may be before or after the funeral.
• Viewing A chance to see the person who has died, sometimes with the body present. Not every family chooses this.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which asks guests to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start if I am nervous

Begin with your name and relationship to your nan. A short opening like Hello, I am [Your Name] and I am [Nan s Name] s [grandchild] gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that line until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue ask a designated family member or friend to finish for you. Having a short note prepared that someone else can pick up from helps in this scenario.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes, small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes rooted in real, kind memories and test them with a trusted friend. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone.

How do I write a eulogy if our relationship was strained

Be honest without being hurtful. Acknowledge complexity and share small reconciliations or lessons you can honestly claim. You can keep the tribute brief and focus on one or two true things you learned or appreciated.

Should I read the eulogy from my phone

You can read from a phone but make sure the screen will be visible in the venue and the device is silenced. Many people prefer paper or index cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high.

How long should the eulogy be

Three to five minutes is a good target. Short speeches tend to be memorable. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times so the service stays within the planned schedule.

Is it okay to include a poem or song lyric

Yes. Keep excerpts short and choose pieces that mattered to your nan or that match the tone. Confirm with the officiant and provide printed text in the program when possible.

Should I give a copy to the funeral home

Yes. Providing a copy helps the officiant and the person running the service stay on schedule and makes it easy to include the text in the program or a memory book.

Can I record and share the eulogy online

Check with family before posting. If sharing is approved provide a short description and be mindful of privacy and the deceased s wishes.