How to Write a Eulogy for Your My Girl - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your girl feels impossible and necessary at the same time. You want to honor the person you loved, tell a true story, and be real in a room full of people who are also hurting. This guide gives a clear step by step plan, ready to use examples, and practical tips for getting through the mic moment without losing the meaning. We explain terms you might not know and give several adaptable scripts you can tailor to your voice.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has to give a eulogy for their girlfriend, partner, or the person they called my girl. Maybe you were asked by family or by the person running the ceremony. Maybe you were the closest person to them and you feel like the obvious choice but also terrified. This guide works whether your relationship was long term, new, complicated, or a private love that only close friends knew about.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech given at a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life that honors the person who died. It is personal and story based. It is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that gives basic facts like dates, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is a memory based tribute. It can be funny, tender, messy, somber, or some mix of those things. The most important rule is to be honest and kind.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A published notice with basic biographical details and funeral information.
• Order of service The schedule for the ceremony that lists readings, songs, and speakers. It functions as the event program.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and the personality of the person who died.
• Officiant The person leading the ceremony. This can be a religious leader, a celebrant, or a friend who agreed to help run the service.
• Hospice A care approach that focuses on comfort for people nearing the end of life. Hospice care can take place at home or in a care facility.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and clear often works best. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is about 400 to 800 spoken words. If several people will speak, coordinate so total speaking time fits the schedule and each person keeps to their limit. A focused three minute tribute can land harder than a long ramble.

Before you start writing

Do some basic preparation to make the writing part easier.

• Ask about time Confirm with the family or with the officiant how long you are expected to speak and where you are placed in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want the speech to be tender, celebratory, honest, or amusing? Check in with close family so the tone fits the person and the crowd.
• Gather memories Ask friends or family for a few memories. Aim for two or three short stories that reveal your partner s personality.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember. Three gives structure and keeps the speech from floating.
• Choose a closing Think about how you want to end. A goodbye line, a brief poem excerpt, or a call to action like sharing a favorite memory works.

Structure that works

A simple structure keeps you on track and helps listeners follow. Use this shape.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to the person. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of who they were. Focus on roles and small facts that matter to the story you are telling.
• Anecdotes Tell one to three short stories that show character. Specifics beat generalities.
• Lessons and traits Share what they taught you and others. Name two or three traits people will remember.
• Closing Offer a final goodbye line, a short quote, or an invitation to remember them in a specific way.

How to start the opening

Keep the opening simple. Your name and your connection matter because not everyone will know who you are. Then say a single true sentence about your girl that sets the tone for your remarks.

Opening examples

• Hello. I am Alex and I was Jamie s girlfriend for five years. Today I want to share the small ways she made a big life for the people around her.
• Hi everyone. I am Morgan. We called her my girl because she was the person who made our messy mornings feel safe and funny.
• Good afternoon. I am Sam. If you knew Riley you know Riley could make a room louder and kinder at the same time. That is what I want to talk about.

Writing the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick short facts that matter to your story. Mention where they were from, what they loved, jobs if they shaped who they were, and a few roles like partner, friend, artist, or dog parent.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place]. They loved [hobby], worked as [job or role], and were known for [quirk or trait]. They loved badly and well which is how I loved them back.
• [Name] moved to [city] and made a home by turning any space into a place full of plants music and friends. They were the person who always brought extra snacks and honesty.

Anecdotes that actually matter

Memories stick when they contain small sensory details and a payoff that explains why the moment mattered. Keep each story short and end with what it taught you.

Quick anecdote examples

• She had a ritual for late night fries where she would test the salt and declare it perfect with a dramatic nod. I thought she was joking until she refused fries from three places in a row. The nod was always correct.
• When we moved into our first apartment she insisted on painting the bathroom a bizarre green. It was loud but honest and we laughed about it every morning. It reminded me that she believed color mattered even in small spaces.
• She would rescue stray cats and name them after obscure movie characters. Each cat got a backstory and a playlist. That became her shorthand for saying you are welcome here.

Addressing complicated relationships

Not every relationship is tidy. If your time together included hard stuff you can acknowledge complexity without turning the eulogy into a therapy session. Focus on honest gratitude and the lessons you carry.

Examples for complicated situations

• Our relationship was not always easy. We fought and made up and learned slowly how to ask for what we needed. Even in the messy parts I learned how to be kinder to myself.
• She was complicated and brilliant and sometimes selfish in ways that hurt. I want to remember the way she laughed at terrible puns and the way she made me try again after I failed.
• Our time together was short and intense. We packed decades into months and I will hold those months like small vivid photographs.

Using humor without losing the room

Humor can lighten a heavy moment. Use small earned jokes that come from genuine memories. Avoid big prank stories that might embarrass the deceased or single out family members.

Safe humor examples

• She had a single pair of socks she loved and would wear until they were practically art. If you ever borrowed them you were basically family forever.
• She tried and failed at growing tomatoes three times and declared the fourth year a dramatic triumph even though the plants were flopping. She celebrated small wins loudly and proudly.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a family argument. Keep private disputes out of the public tribute.
• Avoid reading a list of accomplishments without stories that humanize them.
• Avoid long didactic statements about how people should live. Focus on the person you lost and what they meant to you.
• Avoid revealing private details that would embarrass friends or family.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples you can personalize. Replace bracketed text with your details and read them out loud. Trim anything that sounds forced.

Example 1: Tender and personal, about three minutes

Hello. I am Jordan. I called her my girl because she was the first person who taught me that being known is a gift. She grew up in [city] and loved road trips and thrift store vinyl records. She worked as a graphic designer and brought that same care into every conversation and every messy bookshelf.

One small memory that shows who she was happened on a rainy Tuesday. My bike chain broke and she showed up with an umbrella and a granola bar she had in her bag. We sat on the curb and she taught me how to fix the chain and also how to laugh at my impatience. It was not a heroic thing. It was a steady kind of love that showed up again and again.

She taught me to name my feelings and to do the dishes without being asked. She was fierce about loyalty and soft about forgiveness. I will miss her voice in the kitchen and the way she always saved the last bite for someone else. Thank you for being here to hold her memory with me.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hi everyone. I am Casey. We called her my girl because she made everyday feel like an inside joke you were invited to. She loved bad coffee and great playlists. She taught me that an apology does not have to be perfect to be true. I will miss her laugh and her habit of leaving sticky notes with song recommendations. Thank you for being here and for loving her with us.

Example 3: Honest and complicated

My name is Evan. Our relationship was not simple. We were intense and imperfect and we hurt each other sometimes. I want to stand here and say thank you for the good and to admit the messy parts. In the end she taught me what I have to be better at. I am sorry for the times I failed her and grateful for the times she forgave me. I will carry both forward.

Example 4: Celebration tone with humor

Hello. I am Lia. If you ever met her you know she had a dramatic way of entering a room and a suspiciously calm love for every plant she owned. She kept a running list of songs that could fix a bad week and she was right almost every time. Today we celebrate that loud curious heart and we will definitely play her playlist afterward. Thank you for sharing stories and snacks and laughter as we remember her.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates to get started and then edit them until they sound like you. Read them out loud and mark where you want to pause or breathe.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Name s] partner. [Name] loved [hobby] and had a ridiculous talent for [quirky skill]. One memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here with us.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Name] was complicated and real. We argued about [small example] and made up over [ritual or habit]. I will remember [positive thing] and I am grateful for [what you learned]. If I could say one thing to them now it would be [short line].

Template C: Short and funny with sincerity

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Name] was to know that [funny habit]. She also taught me how to [practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny story]. I will miss her jokes and the exact way she folded socks. Thank you for being here.

Delivery tips that actually help

Grief makes speaking harder but some small moves help you stay steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to manage when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards One or two lines per card keeps you moving and reduces the risk of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh. Pauses let the room catch up and give you space to collect yourself.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend or to a mirror a few times. Practice helps your throat know the rhythm.
• Bring tissues and water Small comforts matter. Hydration helps when your voice cracks.
• Have a backup reader Ask a trusted friend to be ready to finish one line for you if you cannot continue. Let them know the spot to jump in.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If there is no mic, slow down and project to the back row.

What to do if you start crying

Tears are normal and they are allowed. Pause. Breathe. Look at your notes and continue when you can. If you need a moment, take it. The audience will wait. If you cannot finish, your backup reader can step in. Saying fewer words slowly is often more powerful than rushing through a long line.

Including readings, poems, and music

Short readings work best. If you include a poem pick a two or three line excerpt or a short reading that fits the tone. If you include music ask the officiant about timing and whether recorded music is allowed. Place songs where they support the speech such as before your remarks or as a brief interlude after a meaningful line.

Logistics to confirm

• Confirm where you will stand and how long you can speak with the officiant or funeral director.
• Ask if a microphone will be provided and test it if possible.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they need it for the program or to help you if you pause.
• Decide whether you want your words printed in a program or placed in a memory book afterward.

Sharing the eulogy later

People often want a copy. Offer to email it to family and close friends. Ask permission before posting a recording online. Some families prefer privacy. If you do share, include a short note about where people can send condolences or donations if the family requested them.

Checklist before you speak

• Confirm your time limit and place in the order of service.
• Print your speech and bring a backup copy.
• Practice out loud at least three times.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a bottle of water.
• Tell a trusted person you may need help finishing and agree on a signal if you want them to step in.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of readings music and speakers.
• Officiant The person leading the ceremony such as a religious leader celebrant or friend.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories photos and shared memories.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Start with your name and your relationship to the person. A short opening sentence like Hello I am [Your Name] and I was [Name s] partner gives context and buys you a breath. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you when you step up to speak.

What if I forget my place or cannot continue

Pause and take a breath. Look at your notes. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to finish a line for you. Many people write a short final sentence on a separate card that a friend can read if needed.

Should I include religious language if we were not religious

Only if it mattered to the person you are honoring or to the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories instead. You can include a brief poem or song that fits the family s beliefs instead of a prayer.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes that are based on real memories and that do not embarrass the deceased or upset family members. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone if needed.

How long should my eulogy be

Aim for three to seven minutes. That is long enough to tell a couple of stories and short enough to keep the room with you. If many people are speaking coordinate times so the program stays on schedule.

Is it okay to read the eulogy from a phone

Yes but printed paper is often easier to handle when emotions run high. If you use a phone make sure it will not ring and that the screen brightness works in the venue.

What if we had a private relationship the family did not know about

Respect the wishes of the family and the deceased. You can speak honestly about your love without sharing private or intimate details that would make others uncomfortable. Focus on values habits and small public memories instead.