How to Write a Eulogy for Your Mum - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your mum is hard and important at the same time. You want to honour her, tell honest stories, and get through speaking without feeling like you failed. This guide gives you a straightforward method, sample scripts you can adapt, and practical tips for delivering the speech even if you are emotionally raw. We explain any terms that might be unfamiliar and give example scenarios you can steal and personalise.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about their mum at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life or graveside service. Maybe you were the obvious pick because you were the child who cared for her in the final months. Maybe you were asked because you can stand up and find words when others cannot. Maybe your relationship was complicated. This guide includes scripts for tender, funny, messy and short needs.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honours someone who has died. It is usually part of a funeral or memorial. A eulogy is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written announcement that gives basic facts like name, birth date, death date, survivors and service details. A eulogy is personal. It is a story about who the person was and how they mattered to you and others.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and funeral arrangements.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing readings, music and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. These are often close relatives or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos and sometimes music rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice can take place at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. Used on invitations to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and clear usually hits harder than long and rambling. Aim for three to seven minutes of speaking time. That is roughly four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. If you are worried about crying or losing the thread, pick a short version you can expand if needed on the day.

Quick planning before you write

Preparation makes the whole process less painful. Use this quick checklist.

• Ask about time Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your eulogy sits in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Will this be solemn, celebratory, funny or a mix? Check with close family so the tone fits the person and the audience.
• Gather memories Collect dates, nicknames, small stories, favourite sayings and things she always did. Ask siblings or close friends for one memory each.
• Choose three focus points Pick three things you want listeners to leave remembering. Three points give shape and keep the speech focused.

A simple structure that works

Good structure helps both you and the listeners. Use this simple shape and you will have a compass while you write.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one clear sentence about what the day is for.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of your mum s life in practical touches. Focus on roles and what made her who she was.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that bring her character to life. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Lessons and traits Summarise the values she passed on or what people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short poem excerpt, or invite the audience to remember her in a small action.

How to write the opening

The opening is your lifeline. Do not overthink it. Start with your name and your relationship to your mum and then say one honest sentence about her. Practicing the first two lines will calm you when you step up to the mic.

Opening examples

• Hello I am Jess and I am Clare s daughter. Today we are here to remember how she made every small kitchen feel like a safe place.
• Hi everyone I am Tom. I was Mum s eldest son. She loved her garden and louder music than was necessary and she taught us to laugh at ourselves.
• Good afternoon I am Priya and I have the honour of being Maya s daughter. My mother believed in invitations to dinner and second chances.

Writing the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that serve the story you are telling. Use plain language and avoid listing every job. Think about roles that shaped her life and yours like daughter, partner, mother, friend, worker and neighbour.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place] in [year]. She worked as a [job] for [number] years. She loved [hobby] and could always be found doing [habit].
• [Name] moved to [city] in [life stage]. She married [partner] and together they raised [children number or names]. She volunteered at [organisation] and had a knack for making people feel seen.

Anecdotes that actually matter

People remember stories much more than general statements. Choose stories with a small setup, an action and a line that explains why it matters. Keep them short and sensory.

Examples of short anecdotes

• When I was seven she taught me how to bake bread. She said the trick was to listen to the dough. We still both check the bread when it sounds right.
• She had a rule that everyone must bring a joke to Christmas. Even the shy cousins brought their worst jokes and we laughed until we could not breathe.
• On our road trips she would stop at any view and make us get out of the car to take stupid pictures. She believed photos were promises to remember.

How to handle complicated relationships

Not every relationship with a mum is simple. If your relationship was strained you can still speak honestly and with dignity. You do not need to air private grievances. You can acknowledge difficulty and point to lessons or to closure you found later.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My relationship with Mum was not straightforward. We had arguments and long silences. In recent years we found a way to forgive each other and that matters deeply to me.
• She could be stubborn and blunt. Those traits made things hard but they also taught me how to stand up for myself and how to set boundaries.
• We did not always see eye to eye. Still she wanted the best for me in her own way and I learned how to accept love even when it looked messy.

Using humour the right way

Humour can be a relief. Use small earned jokes that reveal character rather than shock value. Test any joke on someone who will be honest about whether it lands. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience.

Safe humour examples

• She had two speeds slow and very fast. If you were late she would already be halfway to the shop and waving a packet of emergency biscuits at you.
• Mum had a green thumb and zero patience for overwatered plants. We called her the plant dictator and the succulents obeyed her orders.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid turning the speech into a family argument or public therapy.
• Avoid private details that could hurt people present.
• Avoid lists of achievements without stories that make them human.
• Avoid clichés unless you immediately give a specific detail that makes the line true.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples you can copy and personalise. Replace bracketed text with your details and read them out loud to check the rhythm and emotion.

Example 1 Mum who loved rituals, about four minute version

Hello I am Anna and I am Claire s daughter. It is a privilege to say a few words about my mum.

Claire grew up by the sea and moved to our town after university. She worked as a teacher for almost thirty years and lit up classrooms with her patience and terrible puns. She married Mark and together they raised two children who learned how to make proper cups of tea and how to fold a towel the right way.

One small story that captures her is about Sunday mornings. She had a ritual of making toast, reading the paper and tending the little plant on the windowsill. If anyone moved the plant she would pretend to be outraged then rescue it like a tiny green friend. That was her care in a sentence. She did small things with enormous attention.

She taught us to show up, to apologise when we were wrong and to send thank you notes for our teachers. Her generosity was quiet and steady. She volunteered at the library and was the person who baked too many biscuits for every school fair.

I will miss the way she made ordinary days feel sacred and the sound of her laugh when a joke actually landed. Thank you for holding her memory with us today.

Example 2 Short and modern under two minutes

Hi everyone I am Liam and I am Mum s son. Mum loved bad pop songs and strong coffee. She taught me to stand when music starts and to always keep spare socks in the glove box. She made our home a place where you could arrive messy and leave a little steadier. Thank you for being here and for keeping her in your stories.

Example 3 Honest and complicated

My name is Sara. My relationship with my mother was complicated. We fought and we made up and sometimes we both stayed stubborn for weeks. In the last year we found a softer way to be with each other. Those small peace moments matter more than anything. She pushed me to be braver and she taught me how to forgive. I am grateful for that learning.

Example 4 Celebration of life with humour

Hello I am Mark her eldest. If you ever met Mum you know she had rules. Rule one be kind. Rule two never pretend you liked a present if you did not. She kept emergency chocolate in every coat and expected everyone to share it. We will miss her chocolate strategy and her enormous heart. Today we celebrate what she gave us and we will try to live in ways she would approve of most of the time.

Fill in the blank templates

Fill in the blanks and then edit to make it sound like you. Read it out loud and remove anything that sounds forced or stiff.

Template A Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Mum s name] [son daughter child]. [Mum s name] was born in [place or year]. She loved [one hobby], she worked as [job], and she was the person we called when [small task or habit]. One memory that shows the kind of person she was is [brief story]. She taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.

Template B For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Mum s name] was complex. We did not always understand each other. We fought about [small example]. Over time I came to appreciate [something positive]. In the last [months years] we [reconciled spoke often found peace]. If I could say one thing to her now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C Light and funny with sincerity

Hi I am [Your Name]. To know [Mum s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. She also made sure we learned [life practical skill]. My favourite memory is [funny small story]. She made us laugh and she made sure no one left the house without a scarf. I will miss her jokes and her exacting sock folding. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is one of the hardest things most of us will do. These tactics keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font so you can glance down easily. Paper is less likely to betray unexpected brightness than a phone screen.
• Use cue cards Small cards with one or two lines per card keep the speech manageable and reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket or underline where you want to breathe or expect laughter. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read to a friend, a mirror or even your dog. Practising helps your throat know the rhythm of the words.
• Bring tissues Or a handkerchief. If you stop for a moment breathe and then continue. The audience will wait.
• Ask for a helper If you think you might not finish ask a family member to be ready to step in and read a sentence to finish the thought.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth. Speak slowly and project. If there is no mic take a breath and speak to the back row.

When you feel like you will cry while reading

If tears come that is perfectly normal. Pause, breathe, and look down at your notes. Drink a sip of water if you need to. Taking a beat does not make the speech weaker. It often makes the moment more real. If you cannot continue have a friend or family member ready to finish a short line you left on a card.

Including readings poems and music

Short readings usually work best. Choose a two to four line excerpt from a poem rather than a long piece that can slow the service. Readings can be religious or secular. Check with the officiant and print the text in the program if possible.

Music choices

• Choose songs your mum loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
• If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing recorded tracks between speakers.
• Keep music short and place it where it supports the speech for example before the eulogy or as a brief interlude after a powerful line.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they want to include it in a program or memory book.

After the eulogy

People may ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family and friends. Some families want the text included in the printed program or placed in a memory book. You can also ask someone to record the audio and share it privately. That can be a comfort to relatives who were unable to attend.

Glossary of common terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honour the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories and photos rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can take place at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for respond s il vous plait which means please respond. Used on invitations to ask guests to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to your mum. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Mum s Name] child gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practising that first line several times will help steady your nerves.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause breathe and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to step in and finish a sentence or two. A short written note for that person works well.

Should I include religious language if the family is not religious

Only if it was meaningful to your mum or to the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honours memory and values instead. You can include a brief poem or reading that fits the family s beliefs.

How do I balance humour and respect

Use humour that is based on real kind memories. Avoid jokes that might embarrass or exclude listeners. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect tone and ensure the humour serves the memory rather than distracts from it.

Can I read the eulogy from my phone

Yes you can but make sure the screen is bright enough and the device will not ring. Many people prefer printed pages or index cards since those are easier to handle when emotions are high.

Is it okay to keep the eulogy short

Absolutely. Short speeches are often the most powerful. Aim for three to seven minutes. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times with the family so the service stays on schedule.

Should I give a copy of the eulogy to the funeral home or officiant

Yes. Providing a copy helps the officiant and the person running the service stay on time and makes it easy to include the text in a program or memory book.

Can I record and share the eulogy online

Check with the family before posting. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved add a short note about where donations may go if that is happening, and be mindful of the deceased s wishes.