How to Write a Eulogy for Your Monk - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for a monk can feel delicate and important at the same time. Monks often live in community and serve others in quiet ways. That means your remarks should honor spiritual practice while still feeling human and real. This guide helps you choose the right tone, gather material, handle ritual needs, and write short and longer tributes you can use or adapt. We explain terms you might not know and give ready to use examples for Buddhist monks, Christian monks, and contemporary monastics who were also your friend or teacher.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a monk at a funeral service, memorial, monastery ritual, community gathering, or celebration of life. You might be a lay student, a temple volunteer, a family member, a fellow monastic, or a friend who loved their humor and wisdom. If you are worried about getting the wording right or about crossing a protocol line, this practical guide will walk you through respectful options and include scripts you can personalize.

What is a eulogy for a monk

A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. For a monk the goal is the same as for anyone else. You want to name who they were, what they taught, and why people came together to remember them. Because monks often belong to a religious community there may be rituals or phrasing that matter. Check with the monastery, temple, or clergy about protocol before you read your piece.

Terms you might see and what they mean

• Sangha The community of monastics and laypeople who practice together. In Buddhism the Sangha is one of the three jewels that people take refuge in along with the Buddha and the Dharma.
• Ordination The formal ceremony when someone becomes a monk or a novice. It marks entry into monastic life and often includes vows and ritual robes.
• Novice A person in early stages of monastic life. Novices usually follow many of the same rules as fully ordained monks while receiving training and guidance.
• Abbey A monastery for monks or nuns in Christian traditions. It is both a place and a community.
• Clergy Religious leaders such as priests, abbots, or senior monastics who may lead a service.
• Dharma In Buddhism this refers to the teachings of the Buddha and the practice that supports awakening. It can also mean truth or natural law in a broader sense.
• Bhikkhu or Bhikkhuni Terms from Pali and Sanskrit that mean Buddhist monk or nun. Different traditions use different words and titles.
• Obituary A written notice of death with biographical facts and service details. A eulogy is a personal speech and not the same as an obituary.

Before you start writing

When a monk dies there may already be a plan from the monastery or temple for how to observe the transition. Use this quick checklist.

• Ask about protocol Check with the abbot, elder, or funeral coordinator about whether lay people are invited to speak and about any specific wording or chanting that should be included.
• Confirm tone Decide if the service will be formal, meditative, celebratory, or a mix. Monastic funerals often lean toward contemplative tones but still leave room for gratitude and warmth.
• Gather memories Collect stories from fellow students, temple volunteers, family, and monastics. One or two specific memories will make your tribute memorable.
• Choose focus points Pick two or three traits or themes you want listeners to remember like compassion, humor, teaching style, or service to the community.

Structure that works

Keep your structure simple. That gives the ceremony stability and helps you deliver under emotion.

• Opening Name yourself and your relationship to the monk. A single sentence to set tone is enough.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of their monastic path and important roles. You do not need to list every date or title.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that show character or teaching style.
• Lessons and legacy Summarize what they taught you and others and what people will miss.
• Closing Offer a final word, short quote, blessing, or invitation for a moment of silence or shared chant.

How to choose the right tone

Monks often model calm and restraint. That does not mean your eulogy must be dry. Aim for humble honesty. Mix gratitude with small human details. If the community values formality follow that lead. If the gathering is informal and people share memories between sips of tea your remarks can be warmer and less scripted. When in doubt check with a senior monk or the person coordinating the ceremony.

Story examples that work

People remember stories more than statements. Choose anecdotes with a small set up and a clear point. Here are three types of memorable mini stories you can adapt.

• Practice story A short scene that shows how the monk practiced compassion or patience. Example. He would sit with anyone who was upset until they could breathe again. That waiting became its own kind of teaching.
• Ordinary life story A detail from daily life that reveals character. Example. She swept the temple courtyard every morning with the same careful rhythm. That rhythm taught us about attention.
• Teaching story A memory of a small instruction that stuck with you. Example. He once told me to carry one good intention into every conversation. I still repeat that line before I pick up the phone.

Eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are full examples that match different relationships and tones. Replace bracketed text with your own details. Read them out loud and edit so the voice sounds like you.

Example 1 Buddhist monk teacher 4 minute version

Good morning. My name is Maya and for the last seven years I have been a student of Venerable Ajahn Suriya.

Ajahn Suriya ordained when he was twenty one and he spent nearly two decades teaching meditation in this city and nearby villages. He had a straightforward way of explaining complicated things. He would say that suffering is not a problem to fix but a frame to look through. That line helped me when grief showed up after my father died.

One quiet example of his teaching happened on an ordinary Tuesday. We were sweeping the temple grounds and a stray dog wandered into the courtyard. The dog was thin and nervous. Ajahn Suriya laid down his broom and walked slowly toward it, speaking softly. He did not rush. The dog came and lay against his knee like it had always belonged there. That is what he did with people too. He made room for what was small and frightened and helped it feel safe.

He taught many of us to sit with pain without making enemies of it. He taught volunteers how to organize food offerings with respect and how to meet visitors with kindness rather than answers. I am grateful for his steady presence and for the times he corrected me gently when my heart hurried. We will miss his laugh and the way he always made sure there was enough tea.

In closing I invite you to join me in a moment of silence and then to offer a short dedication for his practice which supported so many people in this community. Thank you.

Example 2 Christian monk brother and friend short version

Hello. I am Thomas. Brother Paul has lived among us at St Gregory s Abbey for thirty five years and for most of that time he called me friend.

Brother Paul loved music and he played the old organ like it could lift stones. He believed that prayer mattered in the small hours of the morning and that work done with prayer was a prayer itself. He was the person who fixed a leaky roof at midnight if need be and then hummed a hymn while he worked.

My favorite memory is a Sunday afternoon when we were painting the guest house. He insisted we take a break and made coffee that tasted like chapel. He told a terrible joke and then looked surprised when we laughed. That laugh is what I will carry. Thank you for being here to remember him.

Example 3 A contemporary monk who was also your friend messy relationship

My name is Anika. I lived with Brother Jun for two years in the urban monastery. Our relationship was not always easy. He pushed me hard in practice and he could be abrupt when teaching. I learned boundaries and I learned to hear uncomfortable truth as an invitation to grow.

One night we argued about schedule and about the shape of ritual. Later he found me in the kitchen and handed me a bowl of noodles. He did not speak much. He sat across from me and ate quietly. That bowl was a small apology and it opened a way for us to keep living together. If I could say one thing to him now it would be thank you for not letting me stay small. Thank you for pushing me to sit through the hard parts and for showing me how to stand back up.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates to create a version that fits you. Keep language simple and concrete.

Template A Classic respectful short

My name is [Your Name] and I am a friend or student of [Monk s Name]. [Monk s Name] ordained in [year or life stage] and served at [temple or monastery]. They were known for [two traits]. One small memory that captures them is [brief story]. They taught me [lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here.

Template B For a teacher or spiritual guide

I am [Your Name]. [Monk s Name] guided me in my practice for [number] years. They had a habit of [teaching habit]. I remember when [short teaching story]. The lesson I carry is [short line]. May we honor that lesson by [simple invitation to action such as practice, volunteer, or share memories].

Template C For a complicated or honest relationship

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Monk s Name] included argument and repair. We disagreed about [small example] and we reconciled by [small example]. If I could say one thing now it would be [one sentence you want them to hear]. I am grateful for [one real positive thing].

Practical delivery tips for a monastic setting

• Check dress code Some monasteries prefer modest, plain clothing out of respect. Confirm before you arrive.
• Mind the language If chants or prayers are in another language ask if you should include a translation or keep remarks in the vernacular.
• Keep respect for rituals Wait for the officiant to cue you if the ceremony includes chanting, incense, or other ritual elements.
• Use short printed notes Index cards with one or two lines each keep you steady. Long pages can feel heavy under emotion.
• Honor silence Monastic services often value silence as much as speech. A short eulogy followed by silence can be more powerful than long reflection.
• Coordinate timing Monastic rituals can have strict schedules. Confirm your time limit and stick to it.

What to avoid when speaking about a monk

• Avoid revealing confidential matters from private teachings or counseling sessions.
• Avoid trying to explain theology or doctrine unless you are certain of the language and the community s expectations.
• Avoid crude humor or anything that might feel irreverent in a sacred space.
• Avoid long lists of titles or positions that read like a resume rather than a human portrait.

How to include ritual elements like chants and dedications

If you want to include a short chant, poem, or dedication verify the correct text and pronunciation first. Ask a senior monastic to cue you so the chant integrates with the ceremony. Consider offering a short dedication such as a moment of silence followed by a single sentence like May their practice continue to benefit all beings. Keep it brief and aligned with the tradition.

When your relationship with the monk was complicated

It is okay to speak honestly about complexity without airing grievance. You can acknowledge difficulty and then point to what you learned or how you were changed. That balance is both truthful and compassionate. If you are worried about stirring conflict check your draft with a trusted elder or friend in the community.

After the eulogy

People may want a copy. Offer to email your remarks or to place a printed copy with the monastery records. Some communities collect dedications or create a memory book. Respect requests for privacy before posting recordings online. If you share audio or text get permission from the person who organized the service.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Sangha Community of practitioners, often including both monastics and laypeople.
• Ordination Ceremony where someone formally becomes a monk or novice.
• Abbey Christian monastery usually led by an abbot or abbess.
• Dharma Teachings and practice in Buddhism that help people wake up to reality.
• Bhikkhu A term for a Buddhist monk. Bhikkhuni is a Buddhist nun.
• Obituary A written public notice that records facts about a life. It is not the same as a eulogy.

Frequently asked questions

How formal should my language be when speaking about a monk

Match the community s tone. If the monastery holds formal rites you should keep language respectful and measured. If the gathering is more informal and students are sharing stories over tea you can be warmer and more conversational. When in doubt ask a senior member for guidance.

Can I talk about personal moments from private teachings

Only if you have permission. Private counseling or confession like conversations are often meant to stay confidential. Share public teachings or moments that the monk would not mind being repeated.

What if I do not understand all the doctrine or titles

Keep to plain language and focus on concrete memories. You do not need to explain doctrine. If titles matter write them exactly as the community uses them and verify spelling with a member of the Sangha or the funeral organizer.

Is humor ever okay

Yes if it is gentle and earned. Small human details that make people smile usually work well. Avoid anything that could be seen as disrespectful in a sacred space.

How long should a eulogy be at a monastic service

Short and measured is best. Aim for two to five minutes unless you were asked to speak longer. Shorter remarks often respect the rhythm of spiritual services and allow silence and ritual to breathe.

Should I include a prayer or a chant

Ask the officiant. If you are invited to lead a short chant use the traditional words and get help with pronunciation. If you are not sure you can offer a brief dedication or invite the community to join in a shared moment of silence or a standard closing phrase used by the Sangha.