How to Write a Eulogy for Your Ma - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your ma feels like walking a tightrope between grief and memory. You want to honor her, say something true, and get through the moment without losing your place. This guide breaks it down into a simple plan you can actually follow. We include short and longer examples, templates to steal and make your own, and practical tips for delivering when your throat feels like sandpaper. We also explain common terms so nothing feels confusing in the middle of it all.

Who this guide is for

This is for anyone asked to speak about their ma at a funeral, memorial, graveside service, or celebration of life. Maybe you are the obvious choice because you were the child who answered the most calls, or maybe you are the one the family looked to because you can stand and talk when needed. Maybe your relationship was messy or complicated. That is okay. There are examples for simple, funny, honest, and very short needs.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech given to honor a person who has died. It is usually part of a funeral or memorial. A eulogy is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that lists facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is personal. It is a story or a few memories shared with people who loved the same person.

Terms you might see or hear

• Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and service information.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually close family or friends.
• Celebration of life An alternative to a traditional funeral that often focuses on stories, photos, and less formality.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can take place at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Abbreviation of the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please reply. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy for your ma be

Short and direct often lands better than long and rambling. Aim for three to seven minutes which is roughly four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. If many people will speak, keep yours toward the shorter side. If you have a lot to say and the family is okay with a longer slot, ten minutes is the upper comfortable limit for most audiences.

Before you start writing

Do a few quick checks before you sit down. These make writing and delivery less stressful.

• Confirm time Ask the family member or officiant how long you should speak.
• Decide tone Will this be tender, funny, a mix, or very short and practical? Check with siblings or the person who asked you to speak so you are in sync.
• Collect memories Text a few relatives or friends and ask for one memory each. Small details make a speech feel alive.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about your ma. Three is small enough to hold and big enough to shape a speech.

Simple structure that works

Keep the structure clear so you can find your place if emotion hits. Use this shape.

• Opening Say your name and relationship. One sentence to set the tone.
• Life sketch A brief overview of her life in practical strokes. Focus on roles not a full biography.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Lessons and traits Summarize the values she passed on or the things people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a quote, or an invitation to remember in a practical way.

How to pick the right tone

Your ma probably wore many hats. The tone of your eulogy should fit what the family and the wider group will find comforting. If she loved a laugh and would have wanted jokes, use small earned humor. If she was serious about faith or ritual, include that. If your relationship was complicated, you can be honest and dignified without airing private grievances.

Examples of openings you can use

• Hi everyone. I am Claire and I am Maeve s daughter. Mum loved to feed people and to tell us we did not need more coats when we wanted new coats.
• Hello. I am Jamal. I am one of Noreen s children. My ma was the kind of person who answered at three in the morning if you needed a cigarette lighter or a hug.
• Good afternoon. I am Alex. I am Ma s youngest child. She taught me how to make the perfect cup of tea and how to say sorry first. I am going to share two small stories that show who she was.

Writing the life sketch

The life sketch is not a list of everything. Pick the facts that help the story you want to tell. Mention where she grew up, one or two jobs or passions, and the people she loved most.

Life sketch template you can copy

[Name] was born in [place] and raised in [town or region]. She worked as a [job] and later spent her time [volunteering, gardening, caring for family]. She was a daughter, a sister, and most of all a ma to [names or count].

Anecdotes make the eulogy real

Stories stick. Pick one or two short stories that reveal a trait. Keep them under a minute each. Focus on a tiny detail that shows personality.

Short anecdote examples

• When I was ten she taught me to repair a ripped hem by demanding I sit and do it until it looked better than new. She called it pride in the small things.
• She never threw away a jam jar. They became vases, coin jars, and the perfect place to hide biscuits from us. She called it resourcefulness and we called it hoarding.
• On road trips she would shout song lyrics at the top of her voice even if she did not know the words. She believed singing fixed all bad moods.

How to handle a complicated relationship

If your relationship with your ma was messy you can still speak with honesty and grace. You do not need to apologize for complexity. Acknowledge it and choose one thing that feels true to say.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My ma and I argued more than we laughed for many years. In recent times we sat and mended small things. I am grateful for those quiet days.
• She could be stubborn and difficult. She also taught me to be brave and to stand up for myself. Those lessons have shaped who I am.
• We never had the perfect bond. Still, there was love and there were small acts that showed care. I will hold those.

Using humor safely

Humor can be medicine. Use tiny earned jokes not shocks. Test a line with someone you trust first. Avoid jokes that single someone out or that would embarrass the family.

Safe humor examples

• She had two moods, fierce and fiercer. If you were late she had already taken your keys and left you a sticky note that said you were late and loved.
• Mum had a rule that every cake must be tasted three times before it was served. We never questioned the science.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Do not use the eulogy as a place for long family disputes.
• Avoid sharing private information that could hurt others in the room.
• Do not read long CV style lists with no stories attached.
• Avoid cliches that do not have a specific example attached.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt for your ma

Example 1: Simple and warm, three to four minutes

Hello. I am Siobhan and I am Claire s daughter. Mum grew up by the sea and moved to the city when she was a young woman. She worked as a school secretary for most of her life and later spent her free time volunteering at the local community centre. People loved her for the way she remembered birthdays and for the way she always had a cup of tea ready.

One small memory that says everything is how she dealt with late homework. If you forgot to hand it in she would not yell. She would sit with you at the kitchen table, make you a hot drink and help you write a note to the teacher. She believed in practical compassion. She taught us to be kind in visible ways and to show up.

We will miss her steady hands, her laugh when the dog did something ridiculous, and the way she kept spare buttons in a jar that was a secret treasure. Thank you all for being here and for holding her memory with us.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hi everyone. I am Daniel and I am Mae s son. Mum loved loud music, worse puns, and strong coffee. She taught me to dance in supermarkets and to always ask for the last slice of cake. She made sure we had enough of everything except patience. We will miss her laugh and her exacting standards for toast. Thank you for being here.

Example 3: Honest and complex

My name is Aisha. My ma and I did not always get along. We had tough years and some words we cannot take back. In recent times we found a quieter way to be together. She said she was proud of the life I was building and I said I loved her despite our wounds. That felt like a kind of grace. If I had to say one thing now it would be thank you for trying and for the small ways you showed up at the end.

Example 4: Celebration of life tone with humor

Hey. I am Mark, her oldest child. If you knew my ma you know she had two rules. Rule one be kind. Rule two do not hide her biscuits. She kept an emergency stash of chocolate and an impossible ability to turn up at your door exactly when you needed soup and judgement. Today we remember her loud, messy, brilliant self and we promise to eat her biscuits in public to honor her memory.

Fill in the blank templates you can use now

Template A classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Ma s name] child. [Ma s name] was born in [place] and she loved [one hobby]. She worked as a [job] and she was the person we called when [small task]. One memory that shows who she was is [brief story]. She taught me [value]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here.

Template B for a complicated relationship

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Ma s name] was complicated. We had fights and reconciliations. Over time I came to appreciate [something true]. In the last [months years] we [reconciled spent time made peace]. If I could say one thing now it would be [short line].

Template C light and funny with sincerity

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Ma s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. She also taught us how to [practical skill]. My favourite memory is [funny small story]. Even her jokes had work to do. She made us laugh and she made us better at folding towels. I will miss her jokes and her perfect tea. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is less glitchy than a phone when your hands shake.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one or two lines on each card are easier to handle and help you keep place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket or the word PAUSE where you want to breathe or wait for laughter. Pauses are your friend.
• Practice out loud Read it to a friend, to your dog, or to a mirror. Speaking it once or twice helps your voice find the shape of the lines.
• Bring tissues and water A small bottle of water will help if your throat goes dry.
• Arrange backup If you think you might not finish, ask someone to stand ready to finish a sentence or two for you.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If there is no mic, project calmly and aim your voice to the back row.

When you feel like crying while reading

If you cry that is okay. Stop, breathe, and look at your notes. Take a sip of water. Slow down and speak one sentence at a time. The audience wants you to succeed. If you cannot continue, take a breath and ask a friend to finish a line you have written in case you need help.

Including poems, readings, and music

Short is best. A two to four line poem or a short quote is easier to include than a long poem. Confirm with the officiant before including religious or secular readings. If you want music, ask the venue if a recorded track can be played between speakers.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or printed copies for the service.
• Confirm where you will stand and how long you have with the officiant.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service so it can be included in programs or memory books.

Sharing and recording the eulogy

Ask family before posting audio or video online. Some families want privacy. If sharing is allowed, add a short note about where donations should go if people ask. Offer to email a copy to anyone who asks and consider putting a printed copy in a memory book.

Quick checklist before you step up

• Confirm your time limit.
• Print your speech with a backup copy.
• Practice at least twice out loud.
• Mark emotional beats and pauses.
• Bring tissues and a water bottle.
• Arrange a backup person if you want someone to finish a line.

Glossary of useful terms and short acronyms explained

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually lists service details.
• Order of service The plan for the ceremony listing readings, music, and speakers.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. Usually close family or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on stories, photos, and community.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life near the end of life. It can be at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Means please respond to an invitation so hosts can plan numbers.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Start with your name and relationship. An opening like Hello I am [Your Name] and I am [Ma s name] child grounds the audience and gives you a breath. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you when you begin.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to step in and finish a line or two. Planning that support ahead of time removes pressure.

Can I include jokes in a eulogy

Yes you can. Use small earned jokes that come from real life. Avoid jokes that might embarrass the deceased or upset people in the room. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone.

How long should a eulogy be

Aim for three to seven minutes. Short, focused speeches often carry more emotional weight than long ones. If others are speaking coordinate time so the service stays on schedule.

Should I read a eulogy from my phone

You can but paper is often easier to manage when emotions run high. If you use a phone make sure it is on silent and the screen is large enough to read without scrolling.

Can I include religious language if the family is not religious

Only include religious language if it was meaningful to your ma or to the family. If not choose secular language, a favorite quote, or a short poem that fits the mood of the service.