Saying a few words about your Lola can feel impossible and necessary at the same time. Whether your Lola was the family chef, the wise quiet one, the loud storyteller, or a complicated presence, this guide gives you a clear, usable process plus ready to adapt examples and templates. We explain useful terms and cultural practices you might see, offer bilingual lines you can use, and give delivery tips that actually work. Pick a template, personalize it, and get ready to speak from the heart.
We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.
That is why we created our Online Eulogy Writing Assistant. It gently walks you through the process of creating the perfect eulogy for your loved one that truly honors their legacy. → Find Out More
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- Who this guide is for
- What exactly is a eulogy
- Why a special guide for Lola
- Terms you might see
- How long should the eulogy be
- Before you start writing
- Structure that works
- How to write the opening
- How to write the life sketch
- Anecdotes that matter
- Including Tagalog lines
- Addressing complicated relationships
- How to use humor
- What to avoid in a eulogy for your Lola
- Full eulogy examples you can adapt
- Example 1: Tender and practical, three to four minute version
- Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
- Example 3: Funny with warmth
- Example 4: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful
- Fill in the blank templates
- Practical tips for delivery
- When you start to cry while reading
- How to include prayers, poems, or music
- Logistics and who to tell
- Sharing the eulogy afterwards
- Checklist before you speak
- Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Frequently asked questions
Who this guide is for
This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about their Lola at a funeral, memorial, wake, celebration of life, or graveside service. Maybe you are the grandchild who was always sitting in her kitchen, maybe you are the relative who lives far away, or maybe your relationship was complicated. That is okay. There are sample scripts for tender, funny, short, and honest needs. If you want to include Tagalog or a few favorite Filipino sayings, we give lines you can copy and adapt.
What exactly is a eulogy
A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It usually appears during a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is not the same thing as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that lists basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service information. A eulogy is personal and narrative. It tells one or two true stories that help listeners remember the person as more than a list of milestones.
Why a special guide for Lola
Lola often carries cultural roles and expectations, especially in Filipino families. She might be the family historian, the source of recipes, the person who led prayers, or the one who kept everyone in line. Recognizing those roles helps you shape a eulogy that feels authentic. If your family held a lamay, a rosary, or a vigil, you can weave those rhythms into your speech. If your Lola used Tagalog phrases that everyone recognized, sprinkle them in with translations so all guests follow along.
Terms you might see
- Lola Tagalog word for grandmother.
- Lamay Wake or viewing period in Filipino tradition where family and friends gather to honor the deceased.
- Rosary A set of prayers often recited in Catholic Filipino wakes. A rosary may be prayed nightly during a lamay.
- Obituary A written notice that announces a death and includes service details and basic life facts.
- Order of service The schedule for the event listing readings, songs, and speakers. Think of it as the program.
- Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on stories, photos, and memory sharing rather than ritual.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone near the end of life. Care can take place at home or in a facility.
- RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. Used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
How long should the eulogy be
Short and clear is better than long and rambling. Aim for three to six minutes. That usually translates to about 400 to 800 spoken words. If you are nervous, a short heartfelt tribute can be more powerful than a long speech that loses focus. If multiple people are speaking, confirm time limits with the family or officiant.
Before you start writing
Preparation makes the writing part easier. Use this quick plan.
- Ask about timing and format Check how long you are expected to speak, whether the service is formal or casual, and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
- Decide the tone Do you want the speech to be solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? If your Lola loved to laugh, a little humor is fine.
- Gather memories Ask siblings, cousins, and longtime friends for one memory each. Small details like a favorite dish or a repeated phrase are gold.
- Choose two or three focus points Pick the main things you want people to remember about your Lola. Two or three anchors keep the speech focused and memorable.
- Consider language If you include Tagalog, translate it immediately so all guests understand. A short phrase in Tagalog can be very effective when paired with a translation.
Structure that works
Good structure gives you permission to be concise and gives the listener a clear path. Use this shape.
- Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer a single sentence that sets the tone.
- Life sketch A brief overview of Lola s life in human terms. Focus on roles like mother, grandmother, cook, storyteller, or volunteer.
- Anecdotes One or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory.
- Traits and lessons Summarize the values Lola passed on and what people will miss.
- Closing Offer a goodbye line, a Tagalog blessing, a short poem excerpt, or an invitation to remember her in a particular way.
How to write the opening
The opening is where you set the stage. Keep it simple. Start with your name and your relationship to your Lola then say a single line that captures what she gave the family.
Opening examples
- Good morning. I am Ana, Lola Maria s eldest granddaughter. Today we remember how she made every kitchen smell like garlic and cinnamon.
- Hello. I am Marco. I was lucky to be Lola Rosa s apo. She taught me to say please and thank you in Tagalog and in practice.
- Hi everyone. I am Nina, her youngest grandchild. Lola always had time for one more story and one more cup of tea.
How to write the life sketch
The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story. Use everyday language and avoid listing every job or date. Think about the roles Lola played and what made her unique.
Life sketch templates
- [Lola s name] was born in [place]. She moved to [city] to raise her family. She worked as [job] or she kept the household running with a careful balance of warmth and rules.
- She loved [hobby or food], she kept the family calendar, and she had a saying everyone remembers such as Ano ba yan or Huwag ka mag-alala followed by its translation.
Anecdotes that matter
People remember stories more than statements. Anecdotes ground your speech. Keep them short, sensory, and with a small payoff. A good story has a setup, an action, and a line that explains why it matters.
Short anecdote examples
- When I was seven she taught me how to roll lumpia. I remember her hands moving fast and her saying in Tagalog, okay gawin mo ulit meaning try again. That patience taught me practice matters more than perfection.
- She had a rule at family dinners. No phones at the table. We complained then and now I see she wanted us to look at each other. That is the real inheritance she left.
- On Sundays she would sing while cooking. She did not always know the lyrics but she knew the tune. Those songs became our family s soundtrack.
Including Tagalog lines
A line or two in Tagalog is lovely when you translate it right away. Use short, familiar phrases. Here are a few you can borrow.
- Mahal namin siya which means she was loved by us. Use this when summarizing feelings.
- Salamat Lola which means thank you Lola. This works well as a closing line.
- Magpahinga ka na meaning rest now. This can be a gentle final sentence if your family appreciates a peaceful tone.
Addressing complicated relationships
If your relationship with Lola was complex you can still speak honestly and with dignity. You do not need to air private grievances. You can acknowledge difficulty and focus on a lesson or a moment of reconciliation.
Examples for complicated relationships
- My relationship with Lola was not always easy. We argued about small things. Over time we found a quieter way to be together and I am grateful for that peace.
- She could be firm and old school. Those things sometimes hurt. But she also taught me to be resilient and to care for family in practical ways.
How to use humor
Humor can help the room breathe. Use small earned jokes rooted in real memories. Avoid jokes that embarrass or exclude people present.
Safe humor examples
- Lola had rules about laundry that no one could challenge. Towels needed to be folded precisely and if you did not, she would fix them with a look that required apology.
- She believed in second helpings as a moral duty. We joked that her love was best measured in extra rice.
What to avoid in a eulogy for your Lola
- Avoid turning the speech into a family argument. Public moments are not the place for unresolved disputes.
- Avoid reading a long list of facts without stories. Lists can feel lifeless without small scenes that make the person human.
- Avoid using private family details that could hurt someone in the room. Protect nieces and nephews from being shamed in public.
Full eulogy examples you can adapt
Below are complete examples you can copy and personalize. Each one follows the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details. Short translations are included for any Tagalog lines.
Example 1: Tender and practical, three to four minute version
Hello. I am Liza, Lola Nena s eldest granddaughter. Lola Nena grew up in a small province and moved to the city in her twenties. She raised five children and somehow kept a garden the size of a small miracle. She worked part time in a store but her real job was making our house a home.
One memory that captures her is Saturday mornings at her table. She would wake early, make sinangag which is garlic fried rice, and call us like a rooster. She taught us that the way to show love was through meals and through showing up. She also taught us to apologize with a hug which is a skill I use more than I expected.
She could be firm about manners and soft about midnight snacks. She taught us to value family routines, to fold towels neatly, and to sing at the right moments. We will miss her voice, her hands, and the way the house always smelled of garlic. Salamat Lola. Thank you for everything.
Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
Hi everyone. I am Miguel, one of Lola Rosa s grandchildren. Lola loved karaoke, cheap coffee, and telling us to get enough sleep. She taught me to laugh at myself and to feed people when they needed it most. I am grateful for her stubborn kindness. Salamat po Lola which means thank you maam. We will miss you.
Example 3: Funny with warmth
Hello. I am Carla. If you ever ate at Lola Tess s table you knew the rules. Rule one was take two servings. Rule two was do not complain about extra bagoong which is a salty fish sauce that only Lola loved. She had a laugh that could start a parade and a scolding that could stop one. We will miss her rules and her laugh in equal measure. Today we celebrate her messy, delicious, and fiercely loving life. Salamat Lola.
Example 4: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful
My name is Jon. My Lola could be a difficult woman. We argued and at times we were distant. In her last months we sat together and she told me stories I had never heard. Those stories gave me a different view of her life and of why she made the choices she did. I do not need to erase the hard parts to say I am grateful for the moments she softened. Magpahinga ka na. Rest now. Thank you.
Fill in the blank templates
Fill in the blanks then edit to make it sound like you. Read it aloud and trim anything that sounds forced.
Template A: Classic short
My name is [Your Name]. I am [Lola s Name] grandchild. [Lola s Name] was born in [place or year]. She loved [hobby or food], she kept our family tied together with [habit], and she taught us [value]. One memory that shows the kind of person she was is [brief story]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Salamat Lola and thank you all for being here.
Template B: Bilingual and warm
Hi. I am [Your Name]. Lola [Name] always said Huwag ka mag-alala which means do not worry. She said it while stirring her soup and when she patched a scraped knee. She also loved [favorite food or ritual]. One memory I keep is [short story]. Thank you, Lola. We will miss you and we will carry your calm with us.
Template C: Short and funny
Hello. I am [Your Name]. To know Lola [Name] was to know that extra rice was a love language. She also had strict rules about napkin folding. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. She made us laugh and she made sure we were fed. Thank you for being here and for holding her memory.
Practical tips for delivery
Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics keep you steady.
- Print your speech Use large font and a clean layout. Paper is less likely to slip than a phone if emotions run high.
- Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines on each reduce the chance of losing your place.
- Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup.
- Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a trusted friend or to yourself. Practice tells your throat what to expect.
- Bring tissues and water Or a handkerchief. If you stop, breathe, swallow, and continue. The audience will wait.
- Have a backup Arrange for someone to introduce you and to finish a sentence if you need it. A short signal like touching your sleeve can be your cue.
- If using Tagalog Say the Tagalog line slowly and then give a short translation. That keeps everyone connected.
When you start to cry while reading
Tears are normal. Pause, take a breath, sip water, and then continue. Speaking slower helps. If you must stop, step aside and let a family member offer a closing sentence. The content matters more than flawless delivery.
How to include prayers, poems, or music
If you include a prayer or poem, pick a short excerpt. Confirm with the officiant that the piece is appropriate for the service. If live music is possible, place it before or after the eulogy as a gentle interlude. If you use recorded music, test the sound in advance.
Logistics and who to tell
- Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
- Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
- Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service so they can include it in the program if desired.
Sharing the eulogy afterwards
People often ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family and friends. Some families request that the eulogy be printed in the program or placed in a memory book. If you record audio, check with the family before posting it online. Respect privacy and cultural preferences.
Checklist before you speak
- Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
- Print your speech and bring a backup copy.
- Practice at least three times out loud.
- Mark pauses, translations, and emotional beats in your copy.
- Bring tissues and a glass of water if allowed.
- Tell a family member you might need help and arrange a signal if you want them to finish a line for you.
Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Lola Grandmother in Tagalog.
- Lamay Wake or vigil in Filipino tradition where family gathers to honor the deceased.
- Rosary A string of prayers common in Catholic wakes. It can be part of lamay gatherings.
- Obituary A written notice with biographical details and service information.
- Order of service The printed program listing the sequence of events during the funeral or memorial.
- Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket. Usually family or close friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal event focused on stories and photos instead of ritual.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort for people nearing the end of life. It may happen at home or in a facility.
- RSVP Abbreviation asking guests to confirm attendance. Short for respond s il vous plait.
Frequently asked questions
How do I start a eulogy for my Lola if I am nervous
Begin with your name and your relationship to Lola. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am Lola [Name] grandchild gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar.
What if I forget my place or start crying
Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you cannot continue, have a designated person ready to step in. Many people keep their remarks short and let someone else finish a final line if needed.
Can I include Tagalog in the eulogy
Yes. Use short phrases and give a quick translation so everyone understands. A single Tagalog phrase can be powerful when paired with its meaning.
Should I mention complicated family history
Be honest without being hurtful. You can acknowledge complexity and focus on a lesson or a moment of reconciliation. Public eulogies are best when they leave space for future private conversations.
How do I balance humor and respect
Use small earned humor rooted in real memories. Avoid jokes that might embarrass or exclude people present. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone.
How long should a eulogy for Lola be
Three to six minutes is a good target. Keep it short if multiple people will speak so the service stays within the planned schedule.
Is it okay to record and share the eulogy online
Ask the family before posting. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved, provide a short description and be mindful of cultural preferences.
Can I read the eulogy from my phone
Yes, but make sure the device will not ring and that screen brightness is enough in the venue. Many people prefer printed notes or index cards which are easier to handle when emotions run high.