Being asked to speak about your little brother can feel impossible and important at the same time. You want to honor him, tell the truth about who he was, and get through the moment without losing yourself entirely. This guide gives you clear steps, real examples, and fill in the blank templates you can use right away. We explain any terms you might not know and include delivery tips that actually help. Read through, pick a template, and start writing with confidence.
We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.
That is why we created a simple step by step eulogy writing guide. It gently walks you through what to include, how to shape your thoughts, and how to feel more prepared when the moment comes. → Find Out More
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- Who this guide is for
- What is a eulogy
- How long should a eulogy for your little brother be
- Before you start writing
- Structure that works
- Writing the opening
- How to write the life sketch
- Anecdotes that make people feel him
- Addressing complicated sibling relationships
- Using humor the right way
- What to avoid in a eulogy for your little brother
- Full eulogy examples you can adapt
- Example 1: Tender and simple, around three minutes
- Example 2: Short and modern, under two minutes
- Example 3: Funny with sincerity
- Example 4: Sudden loss, honest and anchored
- Fill in the blank templates
- Practical tips for delivery
- When you might cry while reading
- How to include readings, poems, and music
- Logistics and who to tell
- After the eulogy
- Checklist before you step up to speak
- Recording the eulogy and sharing it
- Glossary of useful terms
- Frequently asked questions
Who this guide is for
This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about a younger sibling at a funeral, memorial, graveside, or celebration of life. Maybe you were chosen because you were the sibling who lived closest or because you were the one with stories. Maybe your relationship was complicated. That is okay. There are sample scripts for tender, funny, messy, and short needs. If you are not sure where to start this guide will help you find one clear idea to build on.
What is a eulogy
A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It usually appears as a part of a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that lists basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is personal. It is a story. It is allowed to be imperfect.
Common terms and acronyms you might see
- Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and funeral arrangements.
- Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
- Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. Those chosen are often close relatives or friends.
- Celebration of life An alternative to a traditional funeral that typically focuses on stories, photos, and less formality.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice is not always a place. It can be a service brought to the home.
- RSVP This abbreviation stands for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
How long should a eulogy for your little brother be
Short and specific is better than long and vague. Aim for around three to five minutes. That usually translates to about 400 to 700 spoken words. If you are nervous about crying a shorter, focused tribute can be more powerful than a long speech that loses direction. If the service has many speakers check with the family or officiant about a time limit.
Before you start writing
Preparation makes everything easier and less panicked. Use this quick plan.
- Ask about time and place Confirm how long you can speak and where you will stand. Will there be a microphone? Will the service be streamed online?
- Decide the tone Do you want to be solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Check with family so the tone fits your brother and the crowd.
- Gather material Collect dates, nicknames, small stories, badge moments, and favorite sayings. Ask parents or friends for one memory each so you have at least three solid anecdotes.
- Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about him. Three points give shape to the speech and make it easier to write.
- Decide on humor If your brother was the kind of person who loved pranks then a light joke might feel right. If his death was sudden or traumatic you might prefer a sober tone. Use your judgment.
Structure that works
Good structure gives permission to the listener and to you. Use this simple shape.
- Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one clear sentence that sets the tone.
- Life sketch A brief overview of his life in practical strokes. Focus on roles like son, brother, student, volunteer, artist, athlete, or friend.
- Anecdotes Tell one to three short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific. Each story should have a setup, an action, and a line about why it matters.
- Lessons and traits Summarize what he taught people or the qualities people will miss.
- Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short quote, or a call to action like lighting a candle or sharing a memory after the service.
Writing the opening
The opening sets the stage. Keep it simple. Start with your name and your relationship. Then add one short line that tells the audience what the day is for. Practicing the first sentence helps steady your nerves.
Opening examples
- Hi everyone. I am Jamie and I am Mark s older sister. I am here to share a few memories about my little brother and why he mattered so much.
- Hello. I am Alex. I was lucky to call Theo my brother. Today I want to say one small thing about how he made every road trip feel like an adventure.
- Good afternoon. I am Pri. I am Mai s sister. Mai taught me to be brave about karaoke and gentle about failure. That is what I want to talk about today.
How to write the life sketch
The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that serve the story you are telling. Use plain language and avoid listing every job or milestone. Think about roles and habits that reveal who he was.
Life sketch templates
- [Name] grew up in [place] and was the youngest of [number] kids. He loved [hobby], worked as [job or student role], and could always be found [habit].
- [Name] moved to [city] for college and quickly made friends because of [trait]. He had a talent for [skill] and a love for [passion].
Anecdotes that make people feel him
People remember stories not lists. Anecdotes ground your speech. Keep them short, sensory, and with a payoff about why the story matters now. Pick memories that your family will recognize and smile or nod about.
Good anecdote structure
- Quick setup. Where and when did this happen.
- The surprising or specific action.
- The feeling it left and what it reveals about him.
Short anecdote examples
- When he was ten he painted the family dog purple for a school art project. The dog hated it but he never stopped laughing about how the photo got more likes than his art teacher expected.
- During late night study sessions he would sneak out cereal and offer you the last spoon. He called it emergency carbs and believed cereal solved most problems.
- On long drives he would blast his playlist and make up dances in the passenger seat. If you were sad he would start a silly song and not stop until you smiled.
Addressing complicated sibling relationships
Not all sibling relationships are rosy. If your relationship with your little brother was complicated you can still speak honestly and kindly. You do not need to air private grievances in public. You can acknowledge friction and point to lessons, growth, or small reconciliations. Honesty that is generous will be remembered.
Being asked to give a eulogy is an honour, but it can feel daunting when you are grieving. This guide offers a calm, step by step process so you are not starting from a blank page alone.
You will learn how to:
- Gather memories with simple prompts.
- Shape them into a clear structure.
- Choose wording that sounds like you when read aloud.
What is inside: short outlines, prompts, example eulogies and delivery tips to support you from first notes to final reading.
Perfect for: family, friends and colleagues who want to honour a loved one with sincere, manageable words.
Examples for complicated relationships
- We did not always get along. We fought about stupid things and then made up like it was a ritual. Those fights taught me how to keep showing up.
- He was stubborn in ways that drove me mad. He also had a stubborn heart that would show up for friends when they needed him most.
- We had an on again off again friendship when we were teens. In the last few years he became a person I could call and trust. That change meant everything.
Using humor the right way
Humor can feel like permission to breathe. Use small, earned jokes not shock value. Test them on a close friend who will tell you if the joke lands. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience.
Safe humor examples
- He told his life story in movie quotes and half of them were from cartoons but still somehow it worked.
- He believed socks were a personal statement. You could always guess his mood by his socks and we learned to read those signs quickly.
What to avoid in a eulogy for your little brother
- Avoid turning the speech into a family therapy session full of grievances.
- Avoid unfiltered gossip or secrets that could hurt those present or the memory of your brother.
- Avoid long lists of achievements without stories that make them human.
- Avoid jokes that punch down or embarrass other family members.
Full eulogy examples you can adapt
Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and edit until it sounds like you.
Example 1: Tender and simple, around three minutes
Hi everyone. My name is Sam and I am Lily s older sister. Lily was eight years younger than me and from the moment she arrived she rewired how loud our house became. She loved climbing trees, inventing ridiculous names for our cat, and egging me on until I laughed so hard I could not breathe.
One memory I keep returning to is the summer she taught herself to skateboard. She fell a lot. She got up and fell again with this grin like she had just discovered gravity for the first time. She taught me that getting back up is less about not being scared and more about deciding to keep moving anyway.
Lily taught us how to be silly and how to forgive quickly. She had a way of making even small moments feel like a private celebration. I am grateful for every weird inside joke and late night conversation. We will miss her loud laugh and the way she made ordinary days feel alive.
Thank you for being here and for holding her memory with us.
Example 2: Short and modern, under two minutes
Hello. I am Nate. My little brother, Eli, lived loud and loved louder. He could be infuriating and brilliant in the same breath. He taught me to order food with confidence and to never be embarrassed about crying at that one sad scene in every movie. We are going to miss him a lot. Thank you for coming to celebrate him.
Example 3: Funny with sincerity
Hey. I am Maddy. If you knew Josh then you knew his three rules. Rule one was always bring snacks. Rule two was if you borrowed his hoodie return it or you will never see it again. Rule three was never, ever call his playlist weird. Josh lived like every hour could be a party and he invited everyone. Even when he tormented me by stealing my charger he made the rest of my life more fun. We will miss his chaos and his heart.
Being asked to give a eulogy is an honour, but it can feel daunting when you are grieving. This guide offers a calm, step by step process so you are not starting from a blank page alone.
You will learn how to:
- Gather memories with simple prompts.
- Shape them into a clear structure.
- Choose wording that sounds like you when read aloud.
What is inside: short outlines, prompts, example eulogies and delivery tips to support you from first notes to final reading.
Perfect for: family, friends and colleagues who want to honour a loved one with sincere, manageable words.
Example 4: Sudden loss, honest and anchored
My name is Aaron. Losing my brother Max so suddenly feels unreal. Max loved small rituals. He made perfect coffee on Saturdays and always put the same sticker on his laptop. In the shock of this week it is those small, ordinary things that make me smile and then break my heart all over again.
Max protected his friends and he had a soft spot for people who felt overlooked. I do not have tidy words. I have stories and a weird sense of gratitude for having him as my brother. I will carry the memory of his kindness with me. Thank you for being here to hold that memory with us.
Fill in the blank templates
Fill these in and then edit to make the words sound like you. Read them out loud and trim anything that feels forced.
Template A: Classic short
My name is [Your Name]. I am [Your Brother s Name] big sister brother. [Brother s Name] was born in [place or year]. He loved [one hobby], he worked as [job or student role], and he was the person we called when [small task or habit]. One memory that shows the kind of person he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.
Template B: For sudden or traumatic loss
Hi. I am [Your Name]. I am still trying to understand that [Brother s Name] is gone. He was the kind of person who noticed small things, like when a friend needed a coffee or a text. One small memory I want to keep is [short sensory detail]. If I could tell him one thing now it would be [short line you want to say].
Template C: Light and funny with sincerity
Hey everyone. I am [Your Name]. To know [Brother s Name] was to know [quirky habit]. He also made sure we learned [life practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. He made us laugh and he made us better at forgiving small annoyances. Thank you for being here to laugh with us and remember him.
Practical tips for delivery
Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics keep you steady and help the audience follow.
- Print your speech Use large font. Paper can be less distracting than a phone when emotions are high.
- Use cue cards Small index cards with a sentence or two on each card are easy to manage and reduce the chance of losing your place.
- Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh. Pauses help you regroup and let the audience react.
- Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend or to yourself. Practice tells your throat and your breath what to expect.
- Bring tissues Or a handkerchief. If you stop breathe and swallow before continuing. The audience will wait.
- Ask for help If you think you will not get through the whole speech arrange for someone to introduce you or to finish a line if needed.
- Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If there is no mic speak slowly and project to the back row.
When you might cry while reading
Tears are normal. If you start to cry pause and breathe. Look down at your notes or take a sip of water. If your voice breaks slow down and say fewer words. Often fewer words said clearly and slowly carry more weight than a long, rushed paragraph. If you cannot continue have a small signal with a family member who can step in and close for you.
How to include readings, poems, and music
Short readings work best. If you want to include a poem pick a short excerpt rather than the whole long piece. Readings can be religious or secular. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with the piece and print the text in the program if possible. For music ask about where it should play in the order of service and whether a live musician or recorded track will be used.
Music choices ideas
- Choose a song your brother loved or a song that matches the tone you want for the memory.
- If the venue will stream the service check the audio setup so music plays correctly for remote listeners.
- Keep musical interludes short and place them where they support the speech for example before or after remarks.
Logistics and who to tell
- Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or a table for printed copies.
- Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
- Give a copy of your speech to the person running the service so they can include it in the order of service if desired.
After the eulogy
People will likely ask for a copy. Offer to email it to interested family and friends. Some families request the text be included in a printed program or added to a memory book. You can also record the audio privately and share it with family members who could not attend. If recording or posting ask permission from immediate family first.
Checklist before you step up to speak
- Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
- Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
- Practice at least three times out loud.
- Mark emotional beats and pauses in your copy.
- Bring tissues and a bottle of water if allowed.
- Tell a family member you might need a moment and arrange a signal if you want them to finish for you.
Recording the eulogy and sharing it
Ask permission before posting a recording online. Some families want privacy. If you do share provide a brief note about where donations might go if there is a fund, or how people can share memories with the family privately.
Glossary of useful terms
- Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
- Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
- Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
- Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories instead of rituals.
- Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can take place at home or in a facility.
- RSVP Abbreviation for respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
Frequently asked questions
How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous
Begin with your name and your relationship to your brother. A short opening like Hi I am [Your Name] and I am [Brother s Name] older sister brother gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.
What if I forget my place or start crying
Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to step in. Many people keep the remarks short and let someone else finish a closing line if needed.
Can I use humor in a eulogy
Yes. Small earned humor is usually welcome. Use jokes that are based on real memories and test them with a trusted friend. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members.
How long should I speak
Aim for three to five minutes. Short focused remarks are often the most memorable. If there are many speakers coordinate times so the service runs on schedule.
Should I include religious language if the family is not religious
Only if it was meaningful to your brother or the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories instead. You can include a short poem or reading that fits the family s beliefs.
Is it okay to read the eulogy from my phone
Yes you can, but make sure the screen will not dim and the device will not ring. Paper or index cards tend to feel easier to manage when emotions are high.
How do I honor a brother who had addiction or mental health struggles
Speak with honesty and compassion. Acknowledge the struggle without defining the person by it. Focus on the human things people loved about him and the ways he mattered. Many families find that small honest statements about complexity feel truer than trying to sanitize the story.
Being asked to give a eulogy is an honour, but it can feel daunting when you are grieving. This guide offers a calm, step by step process so you are not starting from a blank page alone.
You will learn how to:
- Gather memories with simple prompts.
- Shape them into a clear structure.
- Choose wording that sounds like you when read aloud.
What is inside: short outlines, prompts, example eulogies and delivery tips to support you from first notes to final reading.
Perfect for: family, friends and colleagues who want to honour a loved one with sincere, manageable words.