How to Write a Eulogy for Your Lifelong Friend - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Saying goodbye to a lifelong friend feels impossible but speaking for them can also feel like the kindest thing you can do. This guide walks you through a simple structure, gives examples you can steal and personalize, explains words you might not know, and offers delivery tips that actually work when your throat is tight. Pick a tone, pick a template, and start with one honest sentence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about a close friend at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or online gathering. Maybe you were the friend who knew all the embarrassing stories, or maybe you were the one who was with them most recently. Maybe your friendship changed over time. All of that is okay. The examples include funny, tender, short, long, and complicated options so you can find one that fits.

What is a eulogy and other terms

A eulogy is a speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died. It is personal and story driven. It is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that shares basic facts such as birth date, survivors, and service details. Below are other useful terms explained so you know what people mean when they use them.

• Obituary A written notice announcing a death with basic facts and funeral information.
• Order of service The schedule for the funeral or memorial listing readings, music, and speakers.
• Pallbearer A person asked to help carry the casket. These are usually close friends or family.
• Celebration of life A less formal event that focuses on stories, photos, and memory sharing.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for people nearing the end of life. It can happen at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy for a friend be

Short and honest is better than long and rambling. Aim for three to seven minutes if you are the main speaker. That generally equals about four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. If other friends are speaking, coordinate so the total ceremony stays within the planned time. If your friend lived a very public life or many people want to speak, the family or officiant may ask for shorter remarks from each person.

Before you start writing

Getting some quick logistics and choices sorted makes writing easier.

• Ask about time Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your remarks fit in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want to be funny, solemn, conversational, or a mix? Check with close family or the officiant if you are unsure.
• Gather memories Call or text a few mutual friends for one memory each. Ask for short stories that reveal the person s personality.
• Choose three focus points Pick three main things you want people to remember. Three keeps the speech focused and easy to follow.
• Plan your opening line A clear opening that states your name and relationship gives you a steady start.

Structure that works for a friend

Use a simple shape that helps the audience follow and helps you stay on track.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a quick overview of the friendship and key roles. Keep facts short and human.
• Anecdotes Tell one to three short stories that show who your friend was. Keep them specific and sensory.
• What they taught you or others Sum up the traits or lessons that will stick with people.
• Closing End with a line of farewell, a short quote, a ritual call to action, or a moment of silence.

Picking the right tone

Think about the life you want to honor and the audience. If your friend was the life of the party, a lighter tone will feel true. If the family prefers solemnity, keep the jokes small and earned. You can be both funny and serious. That balance often feels the most human.

Tone examples

• Playful and warm when the friend loved jokes and pranks.
• Quiet and reflective when the atmosphere is solemn and intimate.
• Direct and honest when the friendship had hard parts or unresolved things.
• Celebratory for a celebration of life event where stories and laughter are invited.

How to write the opening

Open with your name and your relationship. Then add one small true sentence about what the day is for. That short start buys you a breath and helps settle the room.

Opening examples

• Hello. I am Jordan and I was Sam s friend since college. We met in a dorm that smelled like too much ramen and bad coffee but we became lifelong partners in crime.
• Hi. My name is Priya and I am Maya s friend from work. Today we are here to remember how she made the morning commute feel like a concert.
• Good afternoon. I am Marcus. I have the slightly embarrassing honor of having been Alex s roommate during their experimental phase with indoor plants and late night song recordings.

Crafting the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick a few facts that serve the story you want to tell. Include where they were from, what they loved, and a quick note on how you met if that is meaningful.

Life sketch template ideas

• [Friend s name] grew up in [place], loved [hobby], and worked as [job or role]. We met when [brief meeting story].
• [Friend s name] collected [quirky thing], knew every trivia answer about [topic], and could always find the best taco truck in any city.

Anecdotes that land

Stories are what people remember. A good anecdote has a setup and a payoff and ends with a sentence about what the story reveals. Aim for short, sensory moments that the audience can picture.

Short anecdote examples

• We once tried to cook a fancy dinner and set two timers that both went off at once. Instead of panicking, Sam turned up the music and we danced over the smoke alarm. That was their way of turning chaos into a party.
• Once on a rainy day Maya gave me her umbrella and insisted I keep it. She ended up walking home soaked but smiling. She taught me generosity without a scoreboard.
• Alex insisted on naming every plant. When the ficus died they staged a small farewell with an overdramatic eulogy. We still laugh about the funeral for Plant Number Seven.

Addressing complicated friendships

Not every friendship is perfect. If your relationship had tension you can acknowledge that without airing everything. Focus on truth, growth, and the moments that matter. You do not need to get revenge through a speech. Aim for honest balance.

Examples for complicated friendships

• Our friendship had rough patches. We disagreed about big things and we apologized badly. In the end we found a rhythm that allowed us to show up for one another when it counted.
• They pushed my boundaries sometimes. They also pushed me to try things I would never have done on my own. That messy mix is part of why I loved them.

Using humor the right way

Humor can be healing if it is earned. Use small, specific jokes that rely on shared memories. Avoid jokes that single out someone present or that might feel mean. If you use a roast style line, follow it with a sincere sentence so the audience knows where the heart is.

Safe humor examples

• They taught me how to make a playlist that could make anyone dance, including grandpa at a wedding. Yes, that playlist included questionable 1990s hits.
• If you ever needed to find them at a festival, follow the laugh. Not the music, the laugh.

What to avoid when writing

• Avoid long lists of achievements without stories to humanize them.
• Avoid private family drama that will hurt people in the room.
• Avoid reading unreadably long texts or social media posts.
• Avoid trying to be someone you are not. Your voice is enough.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text and small details to make them yours.

Example 1: Warm and funny, three to four minute version

Hello. I am Casey and I have been Ben s friend since we were both convinced a hot sauce challenge was a good idea. Ben had a way of making bad decisions feel like adventures. He loved road trips, a terrible pun, and a good book. He also believed that any party could benefit from a spontaneous karaoke set.

One small story that captures him happened on a hike when we were lost because Ben refused to use the trail map. He insisted he could feel north. After fifty minutes and approximately one wrong waterfall we found our way back by following the sound of someone humming badly. That was Ben. Confident, slightly wrong, and somehow still the person you trusted to get you home.

What I will miss most is his ability to make any room feel like a place you belonged. He was the friend who showed up with extra socks when mine had holes, and he was the one who believed my midnight ideas when no one else did. I am grateful for every ridiculous adventure and for the quiet talks after. Thank you for being here and for holding his memory. Sing loudly when you think of him.

Example 2: Short and tender under two minutes

Hi. I am Noor and I was Anita s friend for twenty years. Anita loved tiny coffee shops, messy watercolor paintings, and correcting my life plans with gentle sarcasm. My favorite memory is a late night when she taught me how to thread a needle and then stitched a button on my jacket without asking. That small kindness was her superpower. We will miss her steady kindness. Thank you for sharing this time.

Example 3: Honest and reconciled, four to six minute version

My name is Eli. I did not always get along with Jamie. We had arguments that felt like they would never end. But we also had years of late night phone calls where we fixed each other in small ways. In the last year we found a new rhythm. Jamie said things I needed to hear and I said things they needed to hear. That made our friendship better. I am grateful for the good and the hard because both shaped who we were together. If I could tell Jamie one last thing it would be thank you for staying, even when it was hard. Please hold a memory that makes you smile and keep it warm.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates as starting points and edit them to match your voice. Read them out loud and cut anything that sounds forced.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Friend s Name] friend. We met in [place or year]. [Friend s Name] loved [one hobby], worked as [job or role], and always [small habit]. One memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [lesson or trait]. I will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here.

Template B: For complicated friendships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Friend s Name] had its ups and downs. We clashed over [small example] and we mended fences over [example]. In the end what mattered was [positive takeaway]. If I could say one thing it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: Light and funny with sincerity

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Friend s Name] was to know [quirky habit]. Their ability to [funny skill] made life better. My favorite memory is [short funny story]. Even their mistakes became stories we retold at every reunion. I will miss them and their terrible karaoke. Please laugh with us today.

Delivery tips for when you speak

Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper feels more secure than a phone when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards One to three lines per card helps you keep pace and not lose your place.
• Mark pauses Note where you want the audience to laugh or where you will breathe. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read your words to a friend or in front of a mirror. Practicing calms the voice.
• Bring tissues Or a handkerchief. If you pause, take a breath, swallow, and continue. People will wait.
• Arrange a backup If you think you might not finish, ask someone to introduce you and to finish your last sentence if needed.
• Mic tips Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If no mic, speak slowly and project.

When you want to cry while reading

Tears are allowed. If you choke up, stop for a breath and look down at your notes. Slow down and speak fewer words. That often feels more powerful than pushing through quickly. If you need a moment, take it. The room will hold you.

Including readings, songs, and photos

Short readings work best. If you want to include a poem pick a two to four line excerpt or a short poem. Ask the officiant about music options. Recorded songs can play before or after your remarks. Live music works well for emotional transitions. Photos and slideshows are comforting but keep them brief so the ceremony flows.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or space for slides.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Offer to email your speech to family members who want a copy.

Recording and sharing

Ask the family before posting audio or video online. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved, include a short note about where people can send condolences or donations if those are being collected.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech that honors someone who has died. It focuses on memories and character rather than only facts.
• Obituary A written notice with basic facts about a death and service information.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral that lists who will speak, what readings will occur, and when music will play.
• Pallbearer Someone chosen to help carry the casket. These are usually close friends or family.
• Celebration of life A gathering that often focuses on stories and images rather than formal rituals.
• Hospice Care aimed at comfort for people near the end of life. It can be provided at home or in a facility.
• RSVP A request to respond to an invitation so organizers know how many people to expect.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Start with your name and your relationship to the person. A short opening like Hello, I am [Your Name] and I was [Friend s Name] friend gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar.

What if I cry and cannot continue

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you cannot continue have a designated friend ready to step in. Many people plan a short line that someone else can finish if needed so the speech still feels complete.

Can I use humor in a eulogy for a friend

Yes. Small, earned humor often helps people breathe. Use jokes that are based on real memories and avoid anything that might embarrass someone present. Follow a joke with a sincere sentence so the tone feels grounded.

How do I write a eulogy when the friendship was complicated

Be honest but respectful. Mention complexity briefly and focus on what you learned or what healed. You do not need to tell every difficult detail. A short, honest tribute can be more powerful than a long argument.

Should I read the eulogy from my phone

You can, but paper is less likely to cause technical issues or accidental notifications. If you use a phone turn it to do not disturb and set the brightness so you can read in the venue lighting.

How much should I practice

Practice out loud at least three times. Read in the space if possible or in front of a person you trust. Practicing helps you judge pacing and emotional beats so you are less likely to rush or freeze.