How to Write a Eulogy for Your Kid - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your kid feels impossible and needed at the same time. You are holding unbearable loss and also the chance to shape how people remember this small, fierce life. This guide gives clear steps, real examples you can adapt, templates you can fill in, and delivery tips that actually work when grief is raw. We explain terms you might not know and offer ways to protect your emotional energy while still speaking with honesty and love.

Who this guide is for

This guide is for any parent, step parent, guardian, or caregiver who has been asked to speak about a child at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or virtual gathering. It is for people who want something direct and usable when the feelings are too big to think clearly. If you are handling a sudden death, a long illness, miscarriage, stillbirth, or losing a teen or adult child, there are examples and templates for each situation.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It goes beyond basic facts to share memories, personality, and the way that person touched others. A eulogy is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that lists key facts such as birth or death dates, surviving family, and service details. A eulogy is more personal. It is a story or a collection of moments.

Terms and acronyms explained

• Obituary A written notice of death usually published in a newspaper or online that includes basic facts and service details.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing songs, readings, and speakers so events flow smoothly.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and shared memories rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort near the end of life. Hospice may be in a facility or at home and is about quality of life.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. For services with a coffin this is often a ceremonial role given to close family or friends.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It appears on invitations to request attendance confirmation.
• CPR Stands for cardiopulmonary resuscitation. It is an emergency procedure to try to restart breathing and heartbeat.
• DNR Stands for do not resuscitate. It is a medical order indicating that CPR should not be used if the heart or breathing stops.
• PTSD Stands for post traumatic stress disorder. It is a mental health condition that can follow traumatic events and may affect family members after a sudden death.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and focused is better than long and rambling. Aim for two to five minutes for a child s eulogy. That usually equals 250 to 600 spoken words. Even when there is so much you could say, a concise, heartfelt speech is often more memorable and easier to deliver without collapsing from emotion.

Before you start writing

When you are grief stricken it helps to follow a small plan so you do not have to invent structure on the spot.

• Check time and tone Ask the family, officiant, or funeral director how long you should speak and whether the service will be formal, casual, religious, or secular.
• Decide what to include Pick one to three things you want people to remember about your child. Three points give shape without overwhelming you.
• Gather help Ask a close friend or family member to give one favorite memory each. That can spark ideas you might not remember in shock.
• Choose a memory or two One specific story with a small detail will mean more than a list of traits. Think sensory details like smell, sound, or a silly gesture.
• Plan a safety net Arrange for a trusted person to finish for you if you cannot continue. That person can hold a place in the program and be ready to step in.

Structure that works

A simple structure keeps you focused. Use this shape and feel free to adapt it.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to the child. Offer one small sentence that sets the tone, such as a trait or a brief image.
• Life sketch Share a short snapshot of the child s life. For infants this could be how loved they were and what rituals the family created. For older kids include favorite activities and what they loved most.
• Anecdote Tell one or two short stories that show personality. Keep them concrete and brief.
• Meaning Explain what those stories teach about the child and how they changed you or others.
• Closing Offer a short goodbye line, a reading or lyric, or a small call to action like lighting a candle or sharing a memory.

Writing the opening

Keep the opening simple. Your name and your relationship gives listeners context and gives you a beat to breathe.

Opening examples

• Hello, I am Jamie and I am Sam s mom. Sam had a laugh that could stop a room and start a dance party.
• My name is Luis. I am Mia s dad. Mia collected rocks and tiny folded notes that said you are loved.
• Hi, I am Aisha, her foster parent. We had her for two beautiful years and she taught us how to see small joys again.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a biography. For a child it is a portrait in a few brushstrokes. Mention age, favorite things, and roles like sister, grandson, teammate, classmate, or friend.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was [age]. They loved [favorite thing], could make anyone laugh, and always carried [object]. They were [son daughter sibling or role] and a friend to many.
• Although [Name] was small in years they were huge in curiosity. They spent afternoons [activity] and nights planning their next big idea.

Anecdotes that matter

People remember a story more than a list. Pick one or two moments that capture who the child was. Keep each story short with a beginning, a small action, and a final line that explains why it matters.

Example anecdote formats

• Set up: The thing that usually happened. Action: What they did. Payoff: What that shows about them.
• Example: Every morning she would rearrange the stuffed animals like a tiny hotel manager. It was her way of making sure everyone felt included.

Examples of full eulogies you can adapt

Below are several adaptable examples for different ages and situations. Replace bracketed text with specifics about your child. Read them out loud and edit to make them yours.

Example 1: Infant or stillbirth, short and tender

Hello, my name is Mark and I am Clara s dad. Clara lived with us for only a breath of time but she filled every room with possibility. We named her for my grandmother because we wanted her to carry a certain kind of softness into this family. In the two short weeks we had with her she fit perfectly into the crook of my arm and taught us how to slow down and be present. I will always remember the way her tiny hand curled around my finger and held on. Thank you for holding that moment with us today as we celebrate the love she brought into our lives.

Example 2: Young child, ages five to ten, warm and specific

Hi everyone, I am Dana, Oliver s mom. Oliver was seven and believed that every day should include at least one dinosaur roar and one huge spoonful of peanut butter. He had an impossible grin and a habit of leaving tiny notes in library books that said have a good day. One Saturday he decided our backyard needed a pirate ship so he drew a map, recruited the neighbor kids, and declared our fence a mysterious coastline. He could make friends with a stray cat or an awkward adult at the playground just by offering a toy. What I will miss most is his fierce confidence in small pleasures. If you find one of his notes please keep it or pass it along. It will make his day continue.

Example 3: Teen, honest and grounded

My name is Pri and I am Jonah s mother. Jonah was 16. He loved late night coding projects, pizza with extra cheese, and he had a way of saying two words that made everything better I got you. He could be stubborn and loud about what he believed and he was also the person who learned how to change a tire by watching a video and then teaching his friends. One night last summer he organized a neighborhood clean up because he hated the idea of trash being someone else s problem. That was Jonah in a nutshell he saw possibility and did the small work. Losing him is a raw and specific grief. We will carry his stubborn kindness with us. If you are holding a memory of Jonah please find me after the service. We want to collect the weird and wonderful stories that show who he was.

Example 4: Adult child, reflective and grateful

Hello, I am Maya, his mother. Thomas was 28 and the most generous person I have ever known. He lived with a kind of messy courage. He quit a stable job to try his hand at ceramics because it made him happy and he wanted a life that matched his hands. He was generous with his time as a mentor and ruthless with the playlist when friends came over. One small thing that captured him was the way he taught his niece to tie shoelaces with patient humor. He made home feel like a place you could always return to even if you never stayed long. We will miss him fiercely and gratefully.

Templates you can fill in

Use these templates to get started. Pick one and write an initial draft. Then trim for brevity and emotion.

Template A: Very short

My name is [Your Name]. [Child s name] was [age]. They loved [one or two things]. My favorite memory is [short story]. They taught me [one lesson]. Thank you for holding our family today.

Template B: Two to three minute

Hi, I am [Your Name] and I am [child s name] [mother father guardian]. [Child s name] was [age], and they were known for [quirky habit or trait]. One day they [brief anecdote]. That story shows how they [what it shows]. I will miss [small sensory detail]. If you want to remember them, [call to action such as light a candle or share a memory].

Template C: For sudden or traumatic death

My name is [Your Name]. I am speaking today with a grief that feels raw and unfair. [Child s name] was [age] and they loved [favorite things]. We are stunned by how quickly life changed. I am choosing to remember [specific memory] because it shows the light in their life. We will honor them by [practical action the family will take, like donating to a cause or starting a scholarship].

Addressing sudden or traumatic death

When a child dies by accident, suicide, or violence there may be pressure to explain or to make meaning immediately. You do not have to do that work in public. It is okay to say that you do not have answers. A safe approach is to acknowledge the shock and focus on loving memories, to encourage support for grieving family, and to provide resources for anyone affected.

Helpful lines

• We do not have answers. We have memories and love and a need to care for one another.
• If you are struggling, please reach out to a friend, a counselor, or a crisis line.
• We will share ways to support the family in the program and by text after this service.

Using humor with care

Humor can feel like permission to breathe. When speaking about a child, use small, affectionate jokes that reveal personality rather than deflect pain. Avoid anything that might sound like minimizing the loss.

Safe humor examples

• He believed bedtimes were a guideline not a rule and could negotiate his way to one extra minute every single night.
• She insisted on wearing superhero capes to the supermarket. If you saw her that day you might have left a little braver.

What to avoid when writing a eulogy for your kid

• Avoid long medical explanations. If details are necessary check with close family first and use gentle language.
• Avoid using the eulogy as a place to settle family disputes or assign blame.
• Avoid excessive gory detail or sensational language that will retraumatize listeners.
• Avoid trying to fill the entire time with words. Silence and ritual can provide space for grief.

Practical tips for delivery

• Print your speech Use large font and consider two copies. Paper is easier to handle when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards Simple index cards with a few lines each reduce the chance of getting lost.
• Mark emotional beats Put a bracket where you might need to breathe or where the room might clap or laugh.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy once or twice to a friend or into your phone. Hearing it will make you more comfortable with pacing.
• Bring someone you trust Ask a friend to sit near you and be ready to take over if you need a moment.
• Microphone tips If there is a microphone, keep it a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If there is no mic, project and slow your pace.
• Plan for emotions It is normal to cry. Pause, breathe, swallow, and continue. The audience will give you space.

When you cannot speak

If the thought of speaking feels unbearable you can ask to have a poem read, play a recorded message, or have a friend read your short note. You can also provide a written statement for the program. Speaking is not the only way to honor your child.

Including readings, music, and visual tributes

Short readings and one to two songs work best. For a poem pick a short excerpt rather than a long work. Photos and a memory table with favorite objects can be powerful and allow others to remember without requiring many speakers.

Ideas for readings

• A short poem or lyric that mattered to the child.
• A brief excerpt from a favorite book or show they loved.
• A moment of guided silence with a prompt such as take one minute to think of a way they made you laugh.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you want a specific photo displayed or a table of keepsakes set up.
• Let the officiant know if you need a mic, if you might pass a note to someone else to finish your line, or if you want a private moment before the service.
• If the death involves the coroner or an autopsy check with professionals about what can be shared publicly and what should remain private.

Memory keepsakes and practical follow ups

Many families create memory books where attendees can write a note or keep a printed copy of the eulogy for the family. Other ideas include planting a tree, starting a small scholarship, or setting up a donation page to a cause your child loved. Practical tasks like notifying schools, cancelling activities, and handling accounts are emotionally hard. Ask a trusted friend to help with logistics so you can focus on grieving.

Glossary of useful terms

• Eulogy A speech honoring the person who died. For a child it often focuses on small, vivid memories.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and shares basic service information.
• Order of service The program that lists the sequence of events at a funeral or memorial.
• Pallbearer People chosen to carry the casket if there is a burial with a coffin.
• Hospice Comfort centered care near the end of life, often focused on symptom relief and dignity.
• Coroner An official who investigates certain deaths. Procedures may include an autopsy to determine cause of death.
• Autopsy A medical examination after death to determine cause. Families can ask questions about how much will be shared publicly.
• Counselor A trained professional who can help with grief. Many therapists specialize in bereavement and family grief.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am too upset to think

Begin with your name and your relationship to the child. Then say one small true sentence about them. Practice that line so it becomes a steadying bridge into the speech. For example Hello, I am Maya and I am Jonah s mom. Jonah loved to make the neighbor kids laugh. That one line can ground you and the audience.

What if I cannot get through the speech

Pause and breathe. If you cannot continue, have a designated person on standby to read one line from your notes and finish for you. You can also plan to read only a short paragraph and leave more for a written tribute in the program.

Can I include sensitive details about the death

You can but check with family first. If the death was traumatic or involves legal matters there may be reasons to keep details private. Focus on the child and memories unless sharing details is important for public safety or clarity.

Is it okay to mention therapy or mental health struggles

Yes if it feels honest and helpful. Framing such mentions with compassion can reduce stigma and encourage others to seek help. For example you might say We are sharing this because Jonah would have wanted others to know help is okay and recovery can be possible.

How do I include siblings in the eulogy

Invite siblings to share a short memory if they want to, or read a single line together. Keep it short and age appropriate. Sometimes younger siblings can share a drawing or a single sentence that becomes an important moment of the service.

What do I say to guests after the service

Short simple lines are okay thank you for coming, thank you for the meal, we appreciate you sharing memories. You do not have to summarize the grief for everyone. If you can, pick one trusted person to handle longer calls and messages.

How do I honor a child who died by suicide

Speak with care and avoid simplistic explanations. You can name the death honestly as suicide if you choose and then focus on memories, the child s joys, and on encouraging anyone struggling to seek help. Include information for crisis resources and mental health support.

Should I share the eulogy online

Ask close family before posting. Some families want privacy while others find sharing healing. If you post, include context and any requests about comments or donations.