How to Write a Eulogy for Your Housemate - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for someone you lived with can feel oddly intimate and complicated at the same time. You shared dishes, rent, late night playlists, and probably the weird smell in the hallway. A housemate may not be a family member but they are family of choice for many of us. This guide gives a clear approach, real examples you can adapt, and delivery tips that actually help when emotions are raw. We explain terms you might not know and offer scripts for short, funny, messy, and deeply tender moments.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a housemate at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or small apartment gathering. Maybe you were the person who shared a bedroom wall, the one who made sure trash day happened, or the friend who saw their worst and best days. Maybe you lived together briefly and still feel the loss. There are templates for close friends, casual housemates, chosen family situations, and complicated dynamics.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors someone who has died. It usually appears during a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is personal and story driven. It is not the same thing as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice with basic facts about the person and the service details. A eulogy shares memories, quirks, and what the person meant to you and others.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and funeral arrangements.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial, listing readings, music, and speakers.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories, photos, and connection.
• Wake A gathering before or after services where people share memories and offer condolences.
• Memorial livestream A live online broadcast of a service for people who cannot attend in person.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and clear usually works best. Aim for three to seven minutes when you speak. That is roughly 400 to 800 spoken words. If you are nervous about crying, a shorter heartfelt tribute will be more powerful than a long ramble that loses focus. If multiple people will speak, check the total planned time so the event runs smoothly.

Before you start writing

• Ask about logistics Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your remarks fit in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want to be funny, tender, plain spoken, or a mix? Check with close friends or family to make sure the tone fits the person and the audience.
• Collect material Make a quick list of stories, nicknames, habits, and small details only someone who lived with them would know.
• Choose two or three focus points Pick a few memories or traits you want listeners to remember. Two or three keeps your speech tight and meaningful.

Structure that works

A simple structure helps you and helps the listener. Use this shape.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a quick overview of who they were outside the house context. Keep it short and relevant.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal their character in the shared living space.
• What they taught you or others Summarize a value or memorable habit they passed on.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short quote, or an invitation to remember them in a specific way.

Opening lines that work

Open simply. Name yourself and your relationship. Then say one honest sentence about why they mattered.

• Hi, I am Alex. I was Jamie s housemate for three years. I want to say a few things about how they filled our tiny apartment with music and fierce loyalty.
• Hello everyone. My name is Pri and I was Sam s flatmate. Sam taught me that a midnight emergency can be fixed with instant ramen and a calm voice.
• Good afternoon. I am Noor, they were my roommate during college. Today I will tell you about their ridiculous plant collection and how those plants outlived most of my relationships.

Writing the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for your story. Use plain language and focus on roles like friend, artist, coder, barista, or parent. Keep it short and human.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place]. They loved [hobby], worked as a [job], and were the sort of person who never said no to a last minute road trip.
• [Name] moved to [city] for work and stayed because of the friends they found. They were a musician, a baker, and a friend who would show up with soup and a playlist.

Anecdotes that show shared life

Stories about living together are powerful because they are specific and relatable. Keep them short and sensory. A good anecdote has a setup, an action, and a small payoff that explains why it matters.

Examples of short housemate anecdotes

• They had a midnight ritual of making tea for anyone who could not sleep. Once our heating broke in February, they braided all the blankets into a fort and sat with us until the repair guy fixed it.
• There was a strict rule about the dishwasher. Breaking the rule earned a dramatic stare and a two minute lecture on communal responsibility. We never quite learned to load it properly but we tried.
• They decorated every birthday with a ridiculous handmade banner. Rain or shine, their banners were in attendance.

Addressing shared living complications

Living with someone can mean friction. If your relationship had conflicts you can still speak honestly and with respect. Acknowledge complexity and choose dignity over drama. You do not need to air private grievances in public. You can mention growth, forgiveness, or small reconciliations.

Examples for complicated housemate relationships

• We argued about rent and quiet hours and dishes, sometimes loudly. We also learned how to apologize and how to ask for help. Those small lessons feel important now.
• They could be messy, and I could be judgmental. Over time we learned to trade off tasks and to laugh about the things that annoyed us most.
• Sometimes we drifted for weeks. We always came back to the same couch with the same bad takeout and the same music. That said something about who they were.

Using humor the right way

Humor can give everyone permission to breathe. Use small earned jokes not shock value. Test them with a friend who will be honest. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone.

Safe humor examples

• They had a suspicious number of houseplants. We joked they were building a jungle to protect their snacks. The plants are proof they cared about living things more than the idea of having clean counters.
• Their idea of midnight cooking involved more smoke than strategy. We still ate the results and called it gourmet charred toast.

What to avoid in a eulogy for a housemate

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a public argument about unresolved issues.
• Avoid crude stories that would embarrass others or reveal private living room dramas that should stay private.
• Avoid reading long lists of what they did without stories to make them human.
• Avoid clichés unless you immediately add a detail that makes the line true for your housemate.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your own details. Keep the voice true to how you speak.

Example 1, short and tender, three minute version

Hi, I am Marcus and I lived with Jamie for four years. Jamie was the person who knew every neighbor s name and remembered birthdays without Facebook. They worked as a graphic designer and they painted our hallway door three different colors over the years for reasons that made perfect sense to them and zero sense to me.

One small memory sums up Jamie s kindness. On a night when I could not stop thinking about my dad, Jamie brought over soup, sat on the floor with me, and put on a playlist that made crying feel like a thing friends do. They did not offer advice. They offered presence. That was their superpower.

Jamie taught me how to be more patient and how to celebrate small wins. We will miss their late night laughter and the way they made the kettle whistle like a tiny victory horn. Thank you for being here to remember them.

Example 2, funny and warm, two minute version

Hello everyone. I am Priya and I was Sam s housemate for two years. Sam believed in two dietary rules. Rule one, always have cereal. Rule two, if someone brings pizza, it becomes everyone s pizza.

There are few people who could make a Monday feel like an inside joke. Sam did that by sending a random meme at exactly the wrong time and then pretending not to notice. We will miss their messy notes stuck to the fridge and their unshakable belief that candlelit takeout is romantic. Thank you for joining us to remember them.

Example 3, honest and respectful for complicated relationships

My name is Noor. I lived with Alex for a year. We fought about the thermostat and we fought about who borrowed which sweater. We also learned to say sorry and to bring soup when the other one needed it. In the last few months we found a quieter rhythm. That small peace matters to me now.

If I could say one thing to them it would be thank you for showing me how to make room for someone else in a small space. Thank you for the lessons and the late night talks.

Fill in the blank templates

Fill in the blanks and then edit to make it sound like you. Read it out loud and trim anything that feels forced.

Template A, close housemate short

My name is [Your Name]. I lived with [Name] for [time]. [Name] loved [hobby or small habit]. One memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here.

Template B, casual roommate, light and funny

Hey, I am [Your Name]. To know [Name] was to know that they always kept an emergency pack of snacks and a playlist for every mood. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. Even in chaos they made home feel like a place you could drop in with your shoes on. I will miss their humor and their terrible singing in the shower.

Template C, complicated but honest

Hello, I am [Your Name]. My relationship with [Name] was imperfect. We argued about [small example]. We also had moments of real care like [example]. If I could say one thing to them now it would be [short line].

Practical tips for delivery

• Print your speech Use large font and a printed copy. Phones can ring or be hard to hold with tears. Paper is steady.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines on each card reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where a laugh will land. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend or to your mirror. Practice helps your throat and your timing.
• Bring tissues and water Keep a glass of water and a tissue nearby. If you need a moment, take it. People will wait.
• Have a backup Arrange for a friend or family member to be ready to finish a line if you cannot continue.
• Mic tips Hold the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly and clearly. If there is no mic, project to the back row slowly.

When you think about including house details

Small domestic details make the person real. Mention their favorite mug, their plant obsession, the way they taped their bike to the wall, the ritual they had for laundry day. These things are not trivial. They are the texture of a life shared.

Including others in your speech

If other housemates or community members will speak, coordinate briefly so stories do not repeat and so the tone works for everyone. You can invite others to stand up after you and share one memory. That creates a chorus of small stories that together show the person s impact.

Logistics for housemate memorials

• Decide with family whether the memorial will be public, private, or online.
• If holding a small gathering at your apartment, check with the landlord about guest limits and noise rules.
• Consider a potluck style gathering so people can bring a small dish in memory of the person.
• If sharing a recording online, check with close family before posting.

Recording and sharing the eulogy

Many people want a recording. Ask permission before posting online. If a family asks for privacy respect that request. You can share a text version via private message or include it in a memory book that family can choose to make public later.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark emotional beats and pauses in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a glass of water if allowed.
• Arrange a small signal with a friend if you might need help finishing.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories, photos, and community.
• Memorial livestream A broadcast of the service for people who cannot attend in person.
• Wake A gathering where friends and family share memories and offer support.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Start with your name and your relationship to the housemate. A short opening like Hi, I am [Your Name] and I lived with [Name] for [time] gives context and a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you when you begin.

What if I cry and cannot continue

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to step in. A short plan ahead of time prevents extra stress.

Can I use humor in a eulogy for a housemate

Yes, small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes rooted in real memories and test them with a trusted friend. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members.

How do I handle living arrangements after the funeral

Talk to family and co tenants about practical matters like belongings and the lease. If you need time off from the apartment ask family for a clear plan. It is okay to ask for help moving things or for a little extra time to sort your stuff.

Should I include private house stories

Only include stories that the family and other people in the house would be comfortable hearing in public. Private disputes or anything that could humiliate someone should stay private.

What if the family wants a private funeral

Respect that. You can still speak at a small gathering with friends or write a letter to share privately with people who loved them. Offer to share your words with family if they want them later.