How to Write a Eulogy for Your Great Cousin - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Being asked to speak about a great cousin can feel oddly specific and surprisingly emotional. They might not have been a parent or sibling yet they mattered enough to you that their loss stings. This guide gives you a clear, usable method plus real examples and fill in the blank templates you can adapt. We explain any relationship terms you might not know and give delivery tips that actually work. Read through, pick an example that fits your vibe, and start writing with confidence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about a great cousin at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or virtual gathering. Maybe you were the cousin who visited most often. Maybe you were the friend who also happened to be family. Maybe you barely knew them but were asked to speak because you were available. All of those situations are valid. You will find templates for short, funny, tender, and complicated relationships.

What is a great cousin

A great cousin can mean different things to different families. Commonly people say great cousin when they mean first cousin once removed. That is the child of your first cousin or the cousin of your parent. Family trees get confusing so here are quick definitions to help.

Relationship terms explained

• First cousin The child of your aunt or uncle. You share grandparents.
• Second cousin Someone who shares great grandparents with you.
• Once removed This means you and that person are one generation apart. For example your parent s cousin is your first cousin once removed. The child of your first cousin is your first cousin once removed too.
• Great cousin People sometimes use this casually for a cousin once removed. If you are unsure what the exact term is, just say cousin and it will be clear enough in the speech.

Terms and acronyms you might see

• Eulogy A speech given to honor someone who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that usually includes biographical details and service information.
• Order of service The schedule for the funeral or memorial listing music, readings, and speakers. Think of it as the program.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to help carry a casket. They are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and remembering in a lighter tone.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort for people nearing the end of life. Hospice care can be at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. Used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy for a great cousin be

Short and clear usually wins. Aim for two to five minutes. That translates to roughly 300 to 700 spoken words. If you are part of a larger program with many speakers, check the time with the person organizing the service. If you are nervous, shorter is better than long and rambling. Your words will still carry weight.

Before you start writing

Getting a few practical things in order makes the writing process easier and the delivery less stressful.

• Ask about time Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want to be solemn, warm, funny, or a mix? Ask a close family member if in doubt.
• Gather material Collect a few stories, nicknames, favorite songs, jobs, and small details. Ask another relative to share one memory so you have options.
• Pick two or three focus points Choose a couple of traits or stories you want people to remember. That helps the eulogy feel shaped and meaningful.

Structure that works

Here is a simple shape that people remember.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to the person. Offer a single line that sets the tone.
• Life snapshot Briefly sketch where they came from and what mattered to them. Keep it short and human.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Specificity is more memorable than an exhaustive list of achievements.
• Their impact Say what they taught you or what people will miss.
• Closing End with a short goodbye line, a quote, a reading, or a call to action like lighting a candle or sharing a memory.

Writing the opening

The opening should be straightforward. Start with your name and how you are related. Then give one line that sets a gentle frame for the rest of your words.

Opening examples

• Hi, I m Alex. I am Maya s cousin. Maya was the kind of person who turned every road trip into a comedy tour.
• Hello everyone. I m Jordan. I am Sam s first cousin once removed. Sam taught me to fix bikes and to never trust a pizza without enough cheese.
• Good afternoon. I am Priya. I am Aaron s cousin. Aaron loved midnight conversations and terrible reality television. He loved us anyway.

How to write the life snapshot

The life snapshot is not a full biography. Pick a few details that support the story you are telling. Mention hometown, job or school if relevant, and one or two hobbies or roles that mattered.

Simple templates for a life snapshot

• [Name] grew up in [place] and later lived in [place]. They worked as a [job] and loved [hobby]. They were a cousin, friend, and someone who always showed up when it mattered.
• [Name] studied [subject] and then moved into [career]. They were known for [quirk or skill] and they had a way of making ordinary days feel small and bright.

Anecdotes that actually matter

People remember stories more than statements. Pick one or two short anecdotes that show who the person was. Keep them sensory and end with why the story matters.

Examples of short anecdotes

• At every family cookout they would stand guard by the grill. Not because they had to but because they liked the authority. They would hand out napkins like trophies.
• When we were teenagers they taught me the two step to embarrass my friends on purpose. I still do it sometimes and it makes me laugh every time.
• They would always text a weird emoji at midnight just to say hi. Those tiny check ins are the moments I will miss most.

Addressing distance or a complicated relationship

Lots of us have relatives we were close to and others we were not. If you were distant or had a complicated relationship you can still be honest and kind. Acknowledge the truth without turning the speech into a private therapy session.

Examples for different relationship styles

• For someone you saw rarely: I did not see Jordan as much as I would have liked. Yet every time we did talk it felt like no time had passed. Those moments taught me that connection does not always require constant contact.
• For someone with whom you had conflict: Our relationship was not always smooth. We argued and we laughed. In the end we found a quiet way back to each other and that peace is what I am thankful for.
• For someone who was like a friend: They were family but also my closest buddy. We shared playlists and inside jokes. Losing them feels like losing a part of my daily life.

Using humor the right way

Humor can help people breathe. Use small earned jokes that come from real memories. Avoid jokes that might embarrass or single out someone in the audience. Test a joke on a trusted friend if you are unsure.

Safe humor examples

• They had two modes, chill and chaos. If you missed their text you might miss the chaos which usually involved a spontaneous road trip.
• They believed socks were a luxury item. If you ever want to honor them, donate lots of socks in their name.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Do not use the speech to air family drama.
• Do not read a long list of accomplishments without stories to make them human.
• Do not tell private secrets that would embarrass the person or the family.
• Do not try to be someone you are not. Speak in your own voice.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Pick one that matches your relationship. Replace bracketed text with your details and read it aloud to make it sound like you.

Example 1: Short warm eulogy about a great cousin who was like a friend 3 minute version

Hello everyone. My name is Emma and I am Noah s cousin. Noah was the person who could make any weekend feel like a memory worth saving. He loved terrible sci fi movies, midnight tacos, and a playlist that somehow always fit the moment.

One small memory that says a lot is the time he drove three hours in the rain to bring me a lamp because I forgot mine on moving day. It was not a big heroic movie scene. It was a text asking if I wanted salt with the tacos and then showing up with a lamp and a laugh. That was Noah. He did small things with huge heart.

He taught me to show up even when it was inconvenient and to find humor in tiny disasters. We will miss his laugh, his playlist, and the way he made us feel seen. Thank you for being here and for sharing your memories with us.

Example 2: Brief graveside eulogy for a young great cousin

Hi. I m Malik, cousins with Zoe. Zoe was young and full of plans. She loved art class and had a blue streak in her hair that she said matched her mood the day she made her first painting. We did not get enough time but every minute with her felt intentional.

Remember her by doing one small brave thing she would approve of. Put blue in your hair, call an old friend, or make a painting even if it is messy. Thank you for being here for Zoe and for her family.

Example 3: Funny celebration of life tone

Hello. I m Riley and I am Chris s cousin. If you knew Chris you know they were the kind of person who turned every life event into a questionable themed party. Chris believed in playlists, glitter, and very specific pizza toppings. They taught me that life is for laughing and that rules are sometimes optional.

We will miss the chaos, the playlists, and the way they insisted on taking terrible selfies at family dinners. Today let s laugh with them and maybe take one more terrible selfie in their honor. Thanks for coming and for loving Chris the way we all did.

Example 4: Honest and small for a complicated relationship

My name is Sara. I am Jonah s cousin. Our relationship was messy at times. We argued about politics and about who forgot to return borrowed books. Over the years we found small ways back to each other. In his last months we had long talks and he apologized for things he felt guilty about. Those conversations mattered. They taught me that healing can be quiet and imperfect. I am grateful for the chance to say goodbye.

Example 5: Short virtual tribute when you cannot attend

Hi everyone. I m Ben and I am Riley s cousin. I am sorry I cannot be there in person but I wanted to say a quick word. Riley texted me a photo from every vacation and always asked how my plants were doing. They were a small steady presence in my life. I will miss them and I am thinking of you all today.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates, then edit so the voice sounds like you. Read out loud and trim anything that feels forced.

Template A: Short and sweet

My name is [Your name]. I am [name] cousin. [Name] loved [hobby or quirk] and they made ordinary days feel special. One memory that captures them is [brief story]. They taught me [lesson or trait]. Thank you for being here and for holding their memory with us.

Template B: For complicated relationships

Hi, I m [Your name]. My relationship with [name] was complicated. We fought and we healed and we sometimes did not understand each other. In the end we shared [small example]. If I could say one thing to them now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: Funny and human

Hey, I m [Your name]. To know [name] was to know that they loved [quirky habit]. They also insisted on [odd rule]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. I will miss their jokes and their tendency to make everything an event. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

• Print your speech Use large font and bring a backup. Paper is less fragile than a phone when you are emotional.
• Use cue cards Small cards with a few lines each help you keep your place and allow you to look up often.
• Mark pauses Indicate places to breathe or where laughter might happen. Pauses help you and the audience process.
• Practice out loud Read it once for timing and a couple of times for flow. Practicing tells your voice what to expect.
• Bring tissues Or a small towel. Tears are normal. If you stop, breathe and continue slowly.
• Arrange a backup If you think you might not finish, ask a family member to be ready to step in and close with one line.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak clearly. If there is no mic, project to the back of the room.

When you want to cry while reading

If tears interrupt you, that is okay. Pause, inhale slowly through your nose, sip water if needed, and continue. If you cannot continue, hand your notes to the backup person you arranged. The room will wait and people will understand.

How to include readings, poems, and music

Short excerpts work best. If you include a poem pick two to four lines rather than a full long poem. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with the piece and place music where it supports the speech like before or after major moments.

Music ideas

• Use a song the person loved
• Choose instrumental music between speakers
• Keep tracks short and test audio levels in advance

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or printed copies.
• Confirm where you will stand and how long you may speak with the person running the service.
• Give a copy of your speech to the officiant in case they need to include it in the program or in a memory book.

After the eulogy

People might ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family members or the person organizing memorial materials. Some families include the text in printed programs or memory books. If there was a recording ask permission before posting it online.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time with the family or officiant
• Print your speech and bring a backup
• Practice out loud at least a few times
• Mark emotional beats and pauses
• Bring tissues and a bottle of water
• Arrange a backup person if you think you might need one

Glossary of useful terms

• Eulogy A speech at a funeral or memorial that honors the person who died.
• Obituary A written announcement of a death that often includes life facts and service details.
• Order of service The program that lists the sequence of events at a funeral or memorial.
• Pallbearer Someone chosen to carry the casket.
• Celebration of life A less formal event that highlights stories, photos, and personal remembrances.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort in the final stage of life. It can be provided at home or in a facility.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to the person. A simple line like Hi, I m [Your name] and I am [Name] cousin gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. That small ritual helps steady nerves.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. Take a sip of water if you need it. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to finish a short closing line. Most people in the room will be patient and understanding.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes, small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes tied to real stories and avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset attendees. Follow a joke with a sincere line to bring the tone back to the main message.

How should I talk about someone I did not know well

Be honest about your relationship and focus on what you did know. You can share a small memory, a story someone else told you, or say how they touched your life in a small way. Short and sincere is better than trying to cover everything.

Should I include family history or genealogy

Only include as much family history as supports the story you are telling. Long lists of relatives can lose listeners. If genealogy matters to the family, a printed program can hold more detailed information.

Is it okay to read the eulogy from my phone

Yes you can, but make sure the screen will be visible in the venue and that the device will not ring. Many people prefer printed paper or cue cards because they are easier to manage when emotions run high.

How long should a eulogy be if multiple people are speaking

Coordinate with the person organizing the service. If many people are speaking aim for two to four minutes each so the service stays within the planned schedule.

Can I record the eulogy and share it later

Ask family for permission before posting. Some families want privacy. If sharing is approved, include a brief note about where donations should go if memorial contributions were requested.