How to Write a Eulogy for Your Great Auntie - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your great auntie feels strange and important at the same time. She might have been the relative who baked cookies for you, the one who always asked about your job, or the elder who told the best stories at family gatherings. This guide gives you a clear, usable method plus examples and fill in the blank templates you can adapt. We explain terms you might not know and include delivery advice that actually helps when you are emotional. Read through, pick a template, and start writing with confidence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a great auntie at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or informal gathering. Maybe you were close and called her Auntie, maybe she was a mentor, or maybe she was a lovable family eccentric you saw a few times a year. There are examples for tender, funny, short, and more complicated relationships so you can find a tone that fits.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It often appears as part of a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that lists basic facts about the person and the service details. A eulogy is personal. It tells a story. It is allowed to be imperfect.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes biographical facts and funeral arrangements.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial that lists readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. If the family chooses pallbearers those people are usually close relatives or friends.
• Celebration of life An alternative to a traditional funeral that often focuses on stories and photos rather than formal ritual.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can happen at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It appears on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and clear is better than long and rambling. Aim for three to seven minutes. That usually equals about 400 to 800 spoken words. If you feel shaky, a shorter heartfelt tribute can have more impact than a long speech that loses focus.

Before you start writing

Having a plan makes this less overwhelming. Use this quick checklist.

• Ask about time Confirm how long you should speak and where your eulogy fits in the program.
• Decide the tone Do you want solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Run it by a close family member if you are unsure.
• Collect memories Gather dates, stories, nicknames, quirks, and songs she loved. Ask cousins or siblings for one memory each.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember. Three keeps your talk focused and memorable.

Structure that works

Good structure gives you a map to follow when you get emotional. Use this simple shape.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one line that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of your great auntie s life in plain strokes. Focus on roles like sister, aunt, volunteer, or hobbyist.
• Anecdotes Share one or two short stories that reveal personality. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Lessons and traits Summarize what people learned from her or what people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short quote, or an invitation to share memories after the service.

Writing the opening

The opening should be simple. Say your name and your relationship. Then say a single true sentence about her that gives the room permission to feel.

Opening examples

• Hello. I am Jamie and I am Auntie Mary s great niece. She taught me how to make the perfect peanut butter cookie and how to show up when people are lonely.
• Hi everyone. My name is Devin and I am Auntie Nora s nephew. She called every birthday with a joke and a reminder to call your mother back.
• Good afternoon. I am Priya. Auntie Laila was the family photographer and the unofficial keeper of our stories. Today we remember how she made small moments big.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you are telling. Use plain language and avoid listing every job. Focus on roles and habits that shaped her life and yours.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place]. She moved to [city] and worked as [job] for many years. She loved [hobby] and was a loving auntie to her many nieces and nephews.
• [Name] never married or had children of her own but she filled that space in our family by being a consistent presence. She hosted holiday dinners and remembered every birthday.

Anecdotes that matter

People remember stories more than lists. Anecdotes make a speech human. Keep them short and include a tiny payoff that explains why the story matters.

Short anecdote examples

• When I was seven she taught me to ride a bike in her driveway. She ran beside me yelling encouragement and then clapped like it was the World Cup when I finally stayed up. I still hear her clapping in my head on nervous days.
• Auntie Jean had a rule that every visitor must try her lemon bars. Once an uncle pretended to dislike them and she gave him three more to test him. He ate them all and later admitted she was right.
• She kept a notebook of jokes. If someone felt down she would find a joke on the nearest page and read it like medicine.

Addressing complicated relationships

Not every relationship with a great auntie is simple. If things were strained you can still speak honestly and with dignity. Acknowledge complexity without using the eulogy to settle scores. Focus on small reconciliations or lessons you truly took from her.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My relationship with Auntie Ruth was complicated. We had different views about many things. Still she showed me how to stand up for myself and how to be persistent. In recent years we found a quieter way to be family and for that I am grateful.
• She could be blunt and private. That taught me how to listen when people say less and how to notice the things they do for others.

Using humor the right way

Humor can lighten the room. Use small, earned jokes that come from real memories. Test jokes on one honest friend. Avoid anything that would embarrass or single out someone present.

Safe humor examples

• Auntie Flo kept a garden that looked like a styling competition for tomatoes. She called it controlled chaos and recommended it as therapy.
• She had a warning voice for burnt toast that could stop a conversation mid sentence. We all knew it and we all respected it.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a personal therapy session or family argument.
• Avoid private grievances or details that would embarrass the deceased or people in the room.
• Avoid reading long lists of jobs or memberships without stories to make them real.
• Avoid clichés unless you immediately make them specific with a short example.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples focused on great aunties. Replace bracketed text with your details and edit to sound like you.

Example 1: Warm and short, three to four minute version

Hello. I am Sam and I am Auntie Betty s great nephew. Betty grew up in the same town she later retired to. She worked as a school librarian for over thirty years and she loved matching kids with the exact book they needed. She never missed a school play and she kept a pile of book recommendations on the coffee table.

One memory that shows who she was is simple. When I was thirteen she sent me a postcard that said read one thing that scares you this week. I rolled my eyes and then hid in a bookstore for an afternoon and found a novel that changed how I thought about courage. That was Auntie Betty. She nudged you toward better versions of yourself with a gentle challenge and a smile.

Her standards were high and her heart was wide. She taught us to be curious and to vote in every election. We will miss her cardigans, her muttered bookshop critiques, and the way she always had a spare pencil. Thank you for being here to celebrate her life.

Example 2: Light and funny one minute version

Hi everyone. I am Alex and I am the great niece of Nora. Nora was equal parts sass and cinnamon rolls. She believed that every kitchen problem could be solved with a spatula and a playlist. If she was in the room your dessert was safe and your phone call about heartbreak would end with a recipe and a dance. We will miss her kitchen wisdom and her dance moves. Thank you for being here and for holding her memory with us.

Example 3: Complicated relationship honest and respectful

My name is Maya and I am Auntie Liza s niece. Liza and I did not always see eye to eye. She had firm opinions and I had new ideas. Over time I came to admire her persistence and her loyalty to the people she loved. In the last years she softened in ways that surprised me. We repaired small things and shared new quiet afternoons together. I am grateful for that time. One thing I learned from her is that family can change and still remain family. Thank you.

Fill in the blank templates

Fill in the blanks and edit to make it sound like you. Read it out loud and trim anything that feels forced.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Great Auntie s name] great niece nephew. [Name] was born in [place]. She worked as [job] and later loved [hobby]. One memory that shows her is [brief story]. She taught me [lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Name] was complicated but real. We disagreed about [small example] and yet she showed me [positive trait]. In the last [months years] we [healed spent time talked]. If I could say one thing to her now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: Light and funny

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Name] was to know that [quirky habit]. She also made sure we learned [practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. I will miss her [quirk]. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics help you stay steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to manage than a small phone screen when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with a line or two per card reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a note where you want to breathe or where the audience may laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read to a friend, to the mirror, or to your dog. Practice helps your throat know the pace.
• Bring tissues Or a handkerchief. It is okay to cry. Pause and then continue slowly when you are ready.
• Ask for a backup If you think you might not finish arrange for a friend to step in. Let them know the last line so they can pick up smoothly.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If there is no mic project to the back of the room.

When tears come

If you cry that is human. Pause breathe and look at your notes. If your voice cracks slow your pace. Fewer words said slowly often land harder than a long rushed paragraph. The audience will wait and they want you to be honest and present.

How to include readings poems and music

Short readings work best. If you include a poem choose a two to four line excerpt rather than a long piece. Confirm with the officiant and if possible print the text in the program so people can follow. Music can be live or recorded. Pick songs your great auntie loved or songs that fit the tone and place them where they support the speech such as before or after a speaker.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or if you want printed copies distributed.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you can speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they want to include it in the program or memory book.

After the eulogy

People often ask for a copy. Offer to email it or print extras. Some families include the eulogy in the memory book or program. You can also record audio for family members who could not attend. Ask permission before posting any recording online to respect family privacy.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a small bottle of water if allowed.
• Tell a family member you might need a moment and arrange a small signal if you want them to finish for you.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial that lists the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories and photos rather than ritual.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can be provided at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French respond s il vous plait meaning please respond. It appears on invitations to ask guests to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to the deceased. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am Auntie [Name] great niece gives the audience context and buys a breath for you to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will calm you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause breathe and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated family member or friend ready to step in. A short written note that someone else can pick up helps in this scenario.

Can I use humor in a eulogy for my great auntie

Yes small earned humor often helps. Use jokes that come from real memories and are kind. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone.

How long should my eulogy be

Three to seven minutes is a good target. Short speeches are usually more memorable. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times so the event stays on schedule.

What if our family had complicated feelings about my great auntie

Acknowledge complexity without airing grievances. You can be honest and respectful. Mention small reconciliations or lessons you learned and keep the tribute short if you prefer.

Should I give a copy of my eulogy to the funeral home or officiant

Yes. Providing a copy helps the officiant and the person running the service stay on schedule and makes it easier to include the text in the program or memory book.