How to Write a Eulogy for Your Great Aunt - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your great aunt can feel oddly personal and a little vague at the same time. Maybe she was the family historian who always had a photo album ready. Maybe she was the eccentric relative who showed up with the best stories and the worst sweaters. This guide gives you a clear path to writing something honest and memorable. We explain terms you might not know and give ready to use examples and fill in the blank templates so you can get a meaningful draft fast.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a great aunt at a funeral, memorial, graveside, or celebration of life. You might be a niece or nephew who felt especially close. You might be the one who lives nearby and handled logistics. You might be the family member who can tell stories without dissolving into tears the whole time. There are examples for short tributes, funny and warm tributes, complicated relationships, and longer memories that highlight legacy and impact.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors someone who has died. It is usually delivered at a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is personal and story driven. It is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that shares basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is the part where a person tells what the deceased meant to them and to others.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written notice announcing a death and often containing biographical details and service information.
• Order of service The schedule for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to help carry the casket for a funeral.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories rather than rituals.
• Officiant The person leading the service. This could be a clergy person, a celebrant, or a family friend.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. Used on invitations to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and clear is almost always better than long and rambling. Aim for three to five minutes if you are one of several speakers. Aim for five to ten minutes if you are the main speaker or if the service is smaller. Three to five minutes is roughly four hundred to six hundred spoken words. Keep it focused on a few clear memories or themes. The fewer ideas you try to carry, the stronger the speech will land.

Before you start writing

Do a quick checklist before you type a single sentence.

• Ask about time Confirm how long you should speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Is this more solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Check with close family so your tone fits the family and the person you are honoring.
• Gather material Collect small stories, nicknames, favorite sayings, roles your great aunt played, and the details that make her feel real.
• Pick two or three focus points Choose the few things you want people to remember about her. Two or three is a manageable number.
• Ask others for a memory Sometimes a sibling or cousin will share a short golden story you had not thought of.

Structure that works

A simple structure makes writing and delivery easier. Use this shape.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to your great aunt. Offer one line that sets the tone.
• Life snapshot A brief overview of her life or roles. Keep it short and choose what supports your theme.
• Anecdotes Two or three short stories or memories that show character.
• Traits and lessons Summarize what she taught people or what made her stand out.
• Closing Offer a short goodbye line, a favorite quote, or invite sharing of memories after the service.

Writing the opening

The opening should be simple and grounding. Start with your name and your relationship. Then give one brief sentence about what your great aunt meant or the tone you want to set.

Opening examples

• Hello. I am Maya and I am Claire s niece. Today we remember the woman who could find the best vintage jacket in any thrift store.
• Hi everyone. I am Omar, her great nephew. Aunt Ruth taught me that cake makes everything better and that laughter is medicine.
• My name is Leah. I was lucky to have my great aunt as a mentor and a friend. I want to share a few small stories that show why she mattered.

How to write the life snapshot

The life snapshot is not a full biography. Pick a few facts that support the story you are telling. Mention roles she had like daughter, sister, nurse, baker, community volunteer, traveler, or story keeper. Dates are optional. Focus on what people in the room will recognize.

Life snapshot examples

• Aunt Rose was born in a small town and moved to the city in her twenties. She worked as a school librarian and later ran a community book club for decades.
• She loved gardening and had a rule about planting at least one herb in every window box.

Anecdotes that matter

Stories are the heartbeat of a eulogy. Keep them specific and sensory. A good short story has a setup, a small action, and a line that explains why it mattered.

Example anecdotes

• On holidays she would hide a tiny coin in a pie. Whoever found the coin got to make the playlist on the drive home. It became our family game and her way of making us all laugh together.
• When I was sixteen she taught me to change a tire in the rain and refused to let me believe that I could not do it alone.
• She kept a stack of postcards in her purse and wrote to people just because she thought they needed a cheer up. She believed words could travel like a warm cup of tea.

Addressing complicated relationships

Not every relationship with a great aunt is tidy. If things were complicated, you can speak honestly without getting into family drama. Mention truth with care and keep privacy intact. You might recognize growth, lessons, or a final reconciliation.

Examples for complicated relationships

• We did not always see eye to eye. She was fiercely independent and sometimes sharp. In the end we found a gentle space of understanding and I am grateful for that time.
• Our relationship changed as we both aged. It was not easy but it taught me about boundaries and forgiveness.

Using humor the right way

Humor can help people breathe and remember the person s lightness. Use earned, kind jokes. Avoid anything that might embarrass people in the room or make private jokes nobody else understands.

Safe humor examples

• She had a rule that you never left the house without a hat and three snacks. She was prepared and a little paranoid about hunger. We teased her about it for years and then we all started carrying snacks too.
• Aunt Jo could never resist correcting a recipe but she would gladly eat the result anyway. Her cooking was experimental and always delicious in its own way.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a therapy session or a place for unresolved family fights.
• Avoid sharing intimate secrets or gossip that could harm people present.
• Avoid listing accomplishments without stories that make them human and relatable.
• Avoid long tangents that do not tie back to what you want people to remember.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

These examples follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text and add your own detail to make them yours.

Example 1: Warm and practical great aunt, about four minutes

Hi everyone. I am Jenna and I am Mark s niece. Aunt Elsie had a way of making any room feel like a safe spot to land. She was born in a small farming town and taught school for over thirty years. She loved crossword puzzles, mint tea, and making sure you had enough sweaters for winter.

One memory that always sticks is the summer she taught our family how to can peaches. We nearly set the kitchen on fire but she would not let us give up. She said patience was part of the recipe just as much as sugar. That short lesson turned into something bigger. She taught patience, persistence, and that shared tasks create memories.

People will miss her steady presence, her stories, and the way she remembered birthdays with a handwritten note. I will miss her advice, her baking, and the quiet confidence she carried. Thank you for being here and for holding her memory with us.

Example 2: Short modern tribute under two minutes

Hello. I am Aaron, her great nephew. Aunt Mila had a laugh that filled a room and a knack for showing up exactly when you needed her. She loved bad sci fi movies and better cookies. She taught me to be curious and to show up for people. We will miss her so much.

Example 3: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful

My name is Priya. My relationship with Aunt Rose was complicated. She could be blunt and demanding. She pushed people hard and expected them to be resilient. That was not always comfortable but it taught me to stand on my own feet. In the last year we found a softer way to be with each other. I am grateful for that time and for the ways she pushed me to be braver than I thought I could be.

Example 4: Funny celebration of life

Hi. I am Marcus, her great nephew. If you ever met Aunt Betty you know she had two rules. Rule one was if you ask for her recipe you had to promise to add more garlic. Rule two was never waste a good story on silence. She kept story time alive at every family gathering and she taught us to laugh at the messy parts of life. Today we celebrate her noise, her cookies, and the chaos she made comforting. Eat, laugh, and tell a story for her.

Example 5: Mentor aunt, legacy focused

Hello everyone. I am Nina. Aunt Lorraine was a teacher, a community organizer, and the person who believed in me before I believed in myself. She mentored dozens of young people in our neighborhood and started a scholarship that helped students go to college. Her legacy is not just the things she did but the lives she made possible. I feel lucky to have learned from her and to carry her lessons forward.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates to get a draft down quickly. Fill in the blanks and then edit to make the voice your own. Read the final version out loud and trim anything that sounds forced.

Template A: Short and sweet

My name is [Your Name]. I am [great aunt s name] [niece nephew great niece great nephew]. [Great aunt s name] loved [one hobby], worked as [job or role], and was the person we turned to for [small habit or skill]. One memory that shows who she was is [brief story]. She taught me [value or lesson]. Thank you for being here and for remembering her with us.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [great aunt s name] was not always simple. We argued and we made up. I did not always understand her choices but I did learn [something you appreciate]. In the end we shared [a final memory or reconciliation]. If I could say one thing now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: Funny and warm

Hi, I am [Your Name]. To know [great aunt s name] was to know that snacks belong in every bag and that a good pun cures most bad days. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. She made us laugh and she made us better at calling our relatives back. I will miss her jokes and her generous spirit.

Practical tips for delivery

Talking while you are grieving is hard. Use these tactics to stay steady.

• Print your speech Use large font and a readable page layout. Paper is easier to handle when emotions are high.
• Use index cards One or two lines per card can keep you moving and reduce the risk of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Write a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience might laugh. Pauses help you collect yourself.
• Practice aloud Read the eulogy to a friend, to a pet, or into your phone. Practice helps your voice know the rhythm.
• Bring tissues and water A tissue will help if your voice trembles and water will help your throat recover.
• Arrange a backup Give a trusted friend a copy and ask them to be ready to step in if you need them to finish a line for you.
• Microphone tips Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If there is no microphone project to the back row by speaking clearly and at a steady pace.

When you want to cry while reading

If tears come that is okay. Pause, breathe, look at your notes, and continue when you feel ready. If your voice breaks slow down. Pausing and saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful than trying to rush through. The audience will wait and they want to support you.

How to include readings, poems, and music

Short works are easier to include. A two to four line poem excerpt or a short lyric can add meaningful punctuation to your speech. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with the piece. If you want a song play a brief clip between speakers or at the start or end of your remarks. Keep any reading concise so the flow of the service stays smooth.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director or venue if you need a microphone or a podium.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you are expected to speak.
• Provide a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service if they want to include it in the program.
• Ask family members if there are any stories they prefer not to share in public.

After the eulogy

People may ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family and friends. Some families put eulogies in a memory book or in the printed program. You can also record the audio for those who could not attend. If you share the text or a recording online ask family permission first for privacy reasons.

Checklist before you speak

• Confirm your time limit with family or the officiant.
• Print your speech in large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice out loud at least three times.
• Mark emotional beats and pauses in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a bottle of water.
• Tell one person in the room that you might need a moment so they can step in if needed.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death and giving service details and biographical facts.
• Order of service A plan for the funeral listing the sequence of music, readings, and speakers.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket during a funeral.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering emphasizing stories, photos, and memories.
• Officiant The person who leads the service. Can be clergy, a celebrant, or a friend.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort for people nearing the end of life. It can take place at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for respond s il vous plait which means please respond. Used to ask guests to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to the great aunt. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Aunt s Name] niece gives the audience context and buys you a breath. Practice that first line until it feels familiar. It will steady you when you speak.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment to collect yourself take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to finish or to read a short closing line for you.

Can I use humor in a eulogy for my great aunt

Yes. Small, kind, earned humor often helps people breathe and remember the person s light side. Avoid jokes that might embarrass or exclude people in the room.

Should I include religious language if the family is not religious

Only include religious language if it was meaningful to your great aunt or to the family. If religion was not central choose a secular reading or a short poem that fits the tone.

How long should my eulogy be

Three to five minutes is a solid target for most eulogies. If you are the primary speaker or the gathering is small you can go up to ten minutes. Coordinate with other speakers so the order of service stays on schedule.

Can I read the eulogy from my phone

Yes you can but make sure the screen brightness is high enough for the venue and turn off any notifications. Many people prefer printed pages or index cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high.

What if I want to share a family recipe or object during the eulogy

Short anecdotes about a recipe, a quilt, or a collection work well. You can mention that the family will have a table with personal items after the service and invite people to look at them there.

Is it okay to give a copy of the eulogy to family and the funeral home

Yes. Sharing a copy helps the officiant and the person running the program. Families often include eulogies in memory books or printed programs.

Should I record the eulogy and share it online

Ask family members for permission before posting a recording. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved add a short note about where people can send condolences.