Writing a eulogy for your granny feels emotional and overwhelming and also strangely important. You want to give her a real voice in the room, share the things that made her herself, and not get lost in a blur of details. This guide walks you through the whole process with plain language, practical templates, real world examples you can adapt, and delivery tips that actually help you get through the moment. If you are a little nervous, that is normal. Read through, pick a template, and start scribbling.
We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.
That is why we created a simple step by step eulogy writing guide. It gently walks you through what to include, how to shape your thoughts, and how to feel more prepared when the moment comes. → Find Out More
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- Who this guide is for
- What is a eulogy
- How long should a eulogy be
- Before you start writing
- Structure that works
- How to write the opening
- Writing the life sketch
- Anecdotes that matter
- Using humor the right way
- Addressing complicated relationships
- Full eulogy examples you can adapt
- Example 1: Tender and short three minute version
- Example 2: Funny modern celebration of life
- Example 3: Honest and respectful for a complicated relationship
- Fill in the blank templates
- Delivery tips that actually help
- When you want to cry while reading
- Including poems readings and music
- Logistics and who to tell
- Sharing the eulogy after the event
- Checklist before you step up to speak
- Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Frequently asked questions
Who this guide is for
This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about their granny at a funeral memorial celebration of life or graveside service. Maybe you are the grandchild who always knew the best biscuit recipe or maybe you were the one who lived far away and called every month. Maybe your relationship was complicated. That is fine. There are sample scripts for short heartfelt remarks funny tributes and honest pieces for messy relationships. We explain terms and give suggestions for modern touches like slide shows playlists and virtual attendees.
What is a eulogy
A eulogy is a short speech given at a funeral memorial or celebration of life to honor and remember the person who has died. It is personal and story driven. A eulogy is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that states basic facts like birth date survivors and service times. The eulogy is your chance to put personality feeling and memory into words.
Terms you might see
- Obituary A written notice about a death that usually includes biographical details funeral arrangements and how to send condolences.
- Order of service The program or schedule for the event listing music readings speakers and any rituals. Think of it as the event plan.
- Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket at a burial. They are usually close family or friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories photos food and music rather than strict ritual.
- Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can be provided at home or in a facility.
- Zoom or livestream A way to include people who cannot attend in person by broadcasting the service online. If using a livestream let the family know who will handle tech.
- RSVP Stands for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
How long should a eulogy be
Short and focused is almost always better. Aim for three to seven minutes. That usually equals about 400 to 800 spoken words. If you are worried about crying keep it on the shorter side. A sharp honest three minute tribute can feel more powerful than a long rambling speech.
Before you start writing
Some planning will save time and make your writing clearer. Use this quick checklist.
- Ask about time and tone Check how long you are expected to speak and whether the family wants humor solemnity or a mix.
- Gather material Collect names dates nicknames little habits favorite sayings and one or two memories from other relatives or friends.
- Choose three focus points Pick three things you want people to remember. Three is small enough to hold and gives your speech shape.
- Decide format Will you read from printed notes cue cards or a phone? Will you include a short reading or a song? Plan that now.
Structure that works
A simple shape keeps you on track.
- Opening Say who you are and your relationship to granny. Offer a one line tone setter.
- Life sketch Give a brief overview of her life with a few meaningful roles such as daughter mother aunt gardener or storyteller.
- Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them sensory and specific.
- Lessons and legacy Summarize what she taught people or what they will miss.
- Closing Offer a farewell line a short poem excerpt a call to action like sharing a memory or lighting a candle.
How to write the opening
The opening should be calm and clear. Start with your name and relationship. Then say one true sentence that sets the tone. Practicing this opening will steady you at the mic.
Opening examples
- Hello everyone my name is Jess and I am Gran s eldest grandchild. Today we are here to remember how she made every Sunday feel like a small holiday.
- Hi I am Omar and I am Nanna s grandson. She taught me how to dance badly and love fiercely and I want to say a few words about that.
- Good afternoon my name is Tia and I looked after Gran in her last year. I want to share what made her laugh and what kept her strong.
Writing the life sketch
The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick handful of facts that support your story. Mention roles hobbies or major life events briefly instead of listing every job or award.
Life sketch templates
- [Name] was born in [place] in [year]. She loved gardening cooking crossword puzzles and had a laugh that filled the room. She was a sister a mother and the heart of our family.
- [Name] worked as a [job] and later enjoyed volunteering at [place]. She moved to [city] when she was [age] and never missed a yearly road trip with the grandchildren.
Anecdotes that matter
People remember stories. Choose anecdotes that are short sensory and end with a line that explains why the moment matters. Keep to a setup an action and a takeaway.
Examples of short anecdotes
- When I was seven she taught me to bake scones and told me never to rush the butter. Years later when life got messy that line came back and calmed me down.
- She kept a jar of bright red buttons on the windowsill. If you were sad she would push a button into your hand and say here take one and fix something small today.
- At family parties she would start singing a nonsense song until everyone joined in. That noise turned people who barely knew each other into friends for the night.
Using humor the right way
Humor is permission to breathe. Use small earned jokes not shock value. Test them with someone who will tell you honestly if the joke lands. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the room.
Safe humor examples
- Gran had two speeds slow and faster than you thought possible when the kettle boiled. If you were late she would already be halfway through a lecture and a cuppa.
- She labeled every container in the fridge and we all followed her system religiously. We will miss her labeling and her belief that leftovers can be an act of kindness.
Addressing complicated relationships
If your relationship with your granny was strained be honest but kind. You do not need to air private grievances. You can acknowledge difficulty and point to small reconciliations lessons or things you appreciated. Short honest sentences work best.
Examples for complicated relationships
- My relationship with Gran was not always easy. We clashed about many things yet she taught me resilience and how to forgive quickly. In the end we found quiet common ground and I am grateful for that.
- She could be stubborn and critical. She also showed me how to stand my ground and to care fiercely about family. Those lessons are complicated and true.
Full eulogy examples you can adapt
Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and tweak the language so it feels like you.
Example 1: Tender and short three minute version
Hello everyone I am Mia and I am Gran s granddaughter. Gran was born in Liverpool and moved to our town when she was twenty five. She worked as a seamstress for most of her life and could fix anything from a torn coat to a broken heart. She loved her garden and her Sunday dinners and she taught me how to slow down and notice small things.
One small memory I have is of her hands. They were always busy yet they were gentle. When I was scared to start high school she took my hands and said you are braver than you think and she made me believe it. That line is with me every day.
Gran taught us how to be generous without showing off and how to make a home feel welcoming. We will miss her soups her jokes and the way she remembered birthdays even when we forgot. Thank you for being here and for holding her memory with us.
Example 2: Funny modern celebration of life
Hi I am Liam and I am Ada s grandson. If you met Gran you knew three things about her. She loved a bargain online she always carried a pack of mints and she could out dance anyone under seventy five. Her idea of a wild night was trying a new biscuit recipe and turning up the radio.
She taught me that life is better when you laugh loudly and that you should never eat the first slice of cake without checking for sprinkles. Today we celebrate the messiness the laughter and the hundreds of small good things she did for us without asking for credit.
Example 3: Honest and respectful for a complicated relationship
My name is Pri and I am Gran s youngest grandchild. Our relationship had hard seasons. We did not always understand each other and sometimes words cut deeper than she intended. In the last few years we talked more and she told me stories about her youth that made me see her in a new light. She taught me to be resilient and to choose kindness even when it is difficult. I am grateful for what we had and for what we mended.
Fill in the blank templates
Use these templates as a starting point and then edit them to sound like you. Read them out loud and trim anything that feels forced.
Template A Classic short
My name is [Your Name]. I am [Granny s name] grandchild. [Granny s name] was born in [place or year]. She loved [one hobby or habit] and worked as [job or role]. One memory that shows the kind of person she was is [brief story]. She taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.
Template B For a warm funny talk
Hi I am [Your Name]. To know [Granny s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. She also made sure we learned [life practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. She had a way of making ordinary things feel important and silly at the same time. I will miss her laugh and her tiny acts of kindness.
Template C For complicated or honest relationships
My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Granny s name] was complicated. We had disagreements about [small example]. Later we found ways to understand each other and those moments mattered. If I could say one thing to her now it would be [short line you want to say].
Delivery tips that actually help
Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics will help you stay steady and deliver something clear and meaningful.
- Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easy to manage when emotions surface. Have a backup copy in your bag or phone.
- Use cue cards Index cards with one idea per card are easier to handle than a full page of text. Number them so you can shuffle if needed.
- Mark pauses Put brackets where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup and let the moment land.
- Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend or to an empty room. Practice helps your mouth and your emotions get used to the words.
- Bring tissues and water Have them ready. If your voice breaks slow down. The audience will wait and your honesty will be seen as strength.
- Arrange a backup If you think you might not finish have a trusted person standing nearby who can finish a line or read the closing sentence.
- Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a steady pace. If there is no mic speak slowly and project to the back of the room.
- For virtual or hybrid services Test your connection microphone and camera in advance. Have someone manage the tech during your speech and ask that chat be muted while you speak.
When you want to cry while reading
If tears come that is completely okay. Pause breathe look at your notes and then continue. If you need a moment put your head down breathe and start again from the previous line. Remember fewer words said slowly usually carry more weight than rushing through everything.
Including poems readings and music
Short readings work best. A two to four line poem excerpt often feels more powerful than reading a long poem in full. If you include music use a short clip that has personal meaning and coordinate with whoever is running the sound so there are no awkward pauses.
Music and multimedia tips
- Pick songs your granny loved or songs that fit the tone of the event.
- Keep any video or slideshow short and focused on a handful of photos that tell a story.
- If people will watch online confirm the file formats and test playback at the venue or with the streaming service.
Logistics and who to tell
- Tell the funeral director or event organizer if you need a microphone or a table for slides.
- Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
- Give a copy of your remarks to the person running the order of service in case it needs to be printed in the program.
- If children or distant relatives will speak coordinate order and timing so the event runs smoothly.
Sharing the eulogy after the event
Many people will ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family and close friends or to include it in a memory book. Ask permission before posting audio or video online. Some families want privacy while others appreciate having the recording to share with relatives who could not attend.
Checklist before you step up to speak
- Confirm your time limit and tone with the family or officiant.
- Print your speech in large font and bring a backup copy.
- Practice at least three times out loud and mark pauses.
- Bring tissues water and a trusted friend who can help if needed.
- Test any tech for slides music or livestreaming ahead of time.
Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Eulogy A speech given at a funeral memorial or celebration of life that honors the person who died.
- Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
- Order of service The plan for the event listing the sequence of readings music and speakers.
- Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket usually a close friend or family member.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on stories photos and memories rather than ritual.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life.
- RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
Frequently asked questions
How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous
Begin with your name and your relationship to your granny. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am Gran s grandchild gives the audience context and a breath to steady. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will calm you at the microphone.
What if I cry and cannot continue
Pause breathe and look at your notes. If you need a break take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to finish a line or read the closing sentence. Many services allow brief pauses and people will be understanding.
Can I include personal jokes or stories that roast her a little
Yes small gentle jokes that show love are often welcome. Avoid anything that might embarrass or hurt others who are present. Aim for humor that the granny would have liked and keep it kind.
Should I include religious language if the family is not religious
Only if it meant something to your granny or the family. Otherwise pick secular language that honors values memories and personality. You can include a short poem or reading that matches the family s beliefs.
How do I handle virtual attendees on Zoom or livestream
Coordinate with whoever is running the stream. Test audio and video ahead of time. Ask virtual attendees to mute their audio while speakers are talking and provide a place for them to share memories after the service such as a chat or comment thread.
How long should I practice before the event
Practice until your opening and key stories feel comfortable. Read it aloud at least three times and once standing up like you will on the day. Practicing with a friend can help you gauge timing and tone.