Writing a eulogy for a grandparent can feel like trying to hold a whole life in one small speech. You want to honor the person who shaped your family, say something meaningful, and not get lost in a long list of achievements. This guide gives you a practical approach plus real examples and fill in the blank templates you can copy and personalize. We explain any terms you might not know, offer delivery tips that actually work, and give sample scenarios for different family dynamics. Read through, pick a template, and start writing with confidence.
We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.
That is why we created a simple step by step eulogy writing guide. It gently walks you through what to include, how to shape your thoughts, and how to feel more prepared when the moment comes. → Find Out More
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- Who this guide is for
- What is a eulogy
- How long should a eulogy be
- Before you start writing
- Structure that works
- How to write the opening
- How to write the life sketch
- Anecdotes that matter
- Addressing complex relationships
- Using humor the right way
- What to avoid in a eulogy
- Full eulogy examples you can adapt
- Example 1: Tender grandparent who was a steady presence, three to four minute version
- Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
- Example 3: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful
- Example 4: Funny and warm celebration of life
- Fill in the blank templates
- Practical tips for delivery
- When you feel like you will cry while reading
- How to include readings, poems, and music
- Logistics and who to tell
- After the eulogy
- Checklist before you step up to speak
- Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Frequently asked questions
Who this guide is for
This article is for anyone asked to speak about a grandparent at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. Maybe you were the grandchild who lived closest or the one who can stand and tell a story without turning it into a therapy session. Maybe your relationship was complicated. That is okay. There are sample scripts for tender, funny, short, and complex needs.
What is a eulogy
A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It appears during a funeral or memorial service. It is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that gives basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is personal. It is a story. It is allowed to be imperfect.
Terms you might see
- Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and funeral arrangements.
- Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
- Pallbearer Someone who helps carry the casket. If the family chooses pallbearers, those people are often close relatives or friends.
- Celebration of life An alternative to a traditional funeral that focuses on stories, photos, and less formality.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort for people nearing the end of life. Hospice care can be delivered at home or in a facility.
- RSVP Short for a French phrase that means please respond. It appears on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
How long should a eulogy be
Short and clear is better than long and vague. Aim for three to seven minutes. That usually translates to about 400 to 800 spoken words. If you are nervous about crying, a short heartfelt tribute can be more powerful than a long speech that loses focus.
Before you start writing
Good preparation makes the whole process less painful. Use this quick plan.
- Check the time Ask the family or officiant how long you are expected to speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
- Decide the tone Do you want solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Check with close family so the tone fits the grandparent and the audience.
- Gather material Collect names, places, stories, nicknames, favourite sayings, and little rituals. Ask siblings or cousins for one memory each.
- Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about your grandparent. Three is small enough to hold in one speech and large enough to give shape.
Structure that works
Structure gives you permission to be human and messy while still delivering something clear. Use this simple shape.
- Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one line that sets the tone.
- Life sketch A brief overview of your grandparent s life in practical strokes. Dates are optional. Focus on roles like parent, grandparent, veteran, worker, gardener, or story teller.
- Anecdotes One or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory.
- Lessons and traits Summarize the values they passed on or the things people will miss.
- Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short poem excerpt, a quote, or a simple call to action like sharing one memory with someone else.
How to write the opening
The opening is where you set the stage. Keep it simple. Start with your name and relationship to the grandparent. Then say one clear sentence about why today matters.
Opening examples
- Hi everyone. I am Alex and I am Jamie s oldest grandchild. Today we are here to remember how she made every Sunday feel like home.
- Hello. I am Priya. My grandfather loved two things more than anything, crossword puzzles and showing up for his family. I want to share what that looked like.
- Good afternoon. I am Marcus, his grandson. My granddad taught me how to fix a bike and how to tell a joke so the laugh lasts longer than the punchline.
How to write the life sketch
The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you are telling. Use plain language and avoid listing every job. Think about the roles your grandparent played that shaped their life and yours.
Life sketch templates
- [Name] was born in [place] in [year]. They worked as a [job] and later as a [job or role]. They were a parent to [names] and a proud grandparent to [names or count].
- [Name] moved to [city] when they were [life stage]. They loved [hobby], made the best [food or craft], and never missed a chance to [habit].
Anecdotes that matter
Stories are the heart of any good eulogy. Pick short, sensory anecdotes that have a setup, a small action, and a takeaway. The takeaway is the line that explains why the story matters.
Examples of short anecdotes
- When I was seven, Grandpa taught me to fish. He did not catch many fish that day. He did show me how to be patient and how to tie a knot that still holds my life together metaphorically and occasionally literally.
- Grandma had an under the counter spice drawer with things you would never guess. She would produce a pinch of something and make dinner taste like a hug from the inside.
- He had a rule at family game night. If you cried during Monopoly you got extra ice cream. It was his way of saying winning matters less than laughing afterward.
Addressing complex relationships
Not every grandparent-grandchild relationship is simple. If yours was strained, you can still speak honestly and with dignity. You do not need to air private grievances. Acknowledge complexity and point to lessons or closure.
Examples for complicated relationships
- My relationship with Grandma was not simple. We argued about almost everything. In the last years she softened in ways I did not expect. I am grateful for those quieter conversations.
- He could be stubborn and he could frustrate us. Still, he loved us in the way he knew how. I learned to accept the love and to set boundaries where I needed them.
Using humor the right way
Humor can be a deep breath for everyone in the room. Use small, earned jokes rather than shock value. Test a line with someone who will tell you honestly if it lands. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience.
Safe humor examples
- Grandpa had a secret talent for turning any chair into a throne and any conversation into a lecture about socks. We laughed and then we bought better socks.
- She believed recipes were a suggestion. Her kitchen experiments were brave and sometimes edible. We loved her courage more than her baking.
What to avoid in a eulogy
- Avoid letting your speech become a therapy session or a place for family disputes.
- Avoid gossip or private family secrets that could hurt people present.
- Avoid simply listing accomplishments with no stories to make them human.
- Avoid clichés unless you immediately give a specific detail that proves them true.
Full eulogy examples you can adapt
Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and speak them in your voice.
Example 1: Tender grandparent who was a steady presence, three to four minute version
Hello. I am Maya, his granddaughter. It is an honor to say a few words about my grandfather, Arthur.
Arthur was born in a small town and moved to the city as a young man. He worked as a machinist for forty years. He loved model trains, tending his rose garden, and making sure every grandchild wore a hat when the wind was strong. He married Ruth and together they raised three children who learned to put family first in small practical ways.
One small story that captures him happened at my college graduation. I thought he would not come because he had trouble walking. He arrived in the best outfit, a crooked tie, and a grin. He shook my hand like I had just built something important. That handshake felt like permission to go do the next thing. He was a quiet encourager and a safe place to land.
He taught us punctuality, the value of showing up, and how to fix a broken fence with patience and a good laugh. We will miss the smell of his garden and the way he always had a spare chair for someone who needed it. Thank you for being here and for keeping his memory alive with your stories.
Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
Hi. I am Jordan and I am Sam s grandchild. Grandpa loved jazz, terrible puns, and pancakes at three in the morning. He taught me to dance in the living room and to apologize fast and sincerely. He was our quiet champion. Thank you for being here and for holding him in your memories.
Example 3: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful
My name is Isabel. My grandmother, Lidia, could be tough. We had disagreements that lasted months. In the last year we found a softer rhythm. She taught me to cook in a way that felt like an act of love. I did not always understand her choices. I am grateful that we had time to say some things we needed to say. I will carry her resilience and her stubborn kindness with me.
Example 4: Funny and warm celebration of life
Hello. I am Ben, eldest grandson. To know Nana was to know two things. One, never leave a pot unattended. Two, always be ready for a hug and an unsolicited life lesson. She kept a drawer full of candy and the best comebacks. We will miss her snacks, her sass, and her insistence that we eat seconds. Today we laugh for her and we remember her messy, brilliant self. Eat a cookie later in her honour if you can.
Fill in the blank templates
Use these templates as a starting point. Replace bracketed bits and then edit to sound like you. Read out loud and trim anything that feels forced.
Template A: Classic short
My name is [Your Name]. I am [Grandparent s name] grandchild. [Grandparent s name] was born in [place or year]. They loved [one hobby], they worked as [job], and they were the person we called for [small task or habit]. One memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.
Template B: For complicated relationships
My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Grandparent s name] was complicated. We did not always see eye to eye. We argued about [small example]. Over time I came to appreciate [something positive]. In the last [months or years] we [reconciled spoke often found peace]. If I could say one thing to them now it would be [short line you want to say].
Template C: Light and funny with sincerity
Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Grandparent s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. They also made sure we learned [life practical skill]. My favourite memory is [funny small story]. Even their jokes had work to do. They made us laugh and they made us better at [small task]. I will miss their jokes and their exacting towel folding. Thank you.
Practical tips for delivery
Speaking while grieving is difficult. These practical tactics keep you steady.
- Print your speech Use large font. Paper is often less distracting than a phone when emotions are raw.
- Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines per card are easy to manage and reduce the chance of losing your place.
- Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience may laugh or clap. Pauses give you time to regroup.
- Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, to a mirror, or to your dog. Practice tells your throat what to expect.
- Bring tissues Or a handkerchief. If you stop, breathe, swallow, and continue. The audience will wait.
- Arrange for help If you think you will not get through it, arrange for someone to introduce you and to step in to finish a line if needed.
- Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If there is no mic, speak slowly and project to the back row.
When you feel like you will cry while reading
If tears come, that is fine. Pause, breathe, look down at your notes, and then continue. If your voice cracks, slow down. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful. Remember you are allowed to be human in that room.
How to include readings, poems, and music
Short readings work best. If you include a poem, pick a two to four line excerpt rather than a long poem. Readings can be religious or secular. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with the piece and print the text in the program if possible.
Music choices
- Pick songs your grandparent loved or songs that match the mood of the event.
- If live music is not possible, ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
- Keep music short and place it where it supports the speech, for example before the eulogy or as a brief interlude after a powerful line.
Logistics and who to tell
- Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone, a lectern, or printed copies.
- Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
- Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they want to include it in the program.
After the eulogy
People will likely want a copy. Offer to email it to interested family and friends. Some families request that the eulogy be included in the printed program or placed in a memory book. You can also record the audio and share it privately. That recording can be a comfort to family members who could not attend.
Checklist before you step up to speak
- Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
- Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
- Practice at least three times out loud.
- Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
- Bring tissues and a glass of water if allowed.
- Tell a family member you might need a moment and arrange a small signal if you want them to finish if needed.
Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
- Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
- Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
- Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering often focused on stories and photos rather than rituals.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can take place at home or in a facility.
- RSVP Short for a French phrase that means please respond. Used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
Frequently asked questions
How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous
Begin with your name and relationship to the grandparent. A short opening sentence like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Grandparent s Name] grandchild gives the audience context and gives you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.
What if I forget my place or start crying
Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment, take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue, ask a designated family member or friend to finish for you. Having a short note someone else can pick up helps in this scenario.
Should I include religious language if the family is not religious
Only if it was meaningful to your grandparent or to the family. If religion was not central, choose secular language that honors values and memories instead. You can include a brief poem or reading that matches the family s beliefs instead of prayer language.
Can I use humour in a eulogy
Yes. Small earned humour is often welcome. Use jokes that are based on real, kind memories and test them with a trusted friend. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members. Balance a laugh with a sincere line to reconnect the tone.
How long should a eulogy be
Three to seven minutes is a good target. Short speeches tend to be memorable. If multiple people are speaking, coordinate times so the service stays within the planned schedule.
Should I give a copy of the eulogy to the funeral home or officiant
Yes. Providing a copy helps the officiant and the person running the service stay on schedule and makes it easy to include the text in a program or memory book.
What if I want to include a poem or music
Choose short excerpts rather than long pieces. Confirm with the officiant and provide printed text in the program when possible. Place music where it supports the speech such as a brief interlude before or after a meaningful line.