Writing a eulogy for your grandma can feel overwhelming and deeply necessary at the same time. Grandmas often hold family history, weird rituals, and wisdom that only makes sense in context. This guide gives you clear steps, templates you can fill in, and sample scripts for different tones so you can speak honestly and without overthinking. We explain terms you might not know and give delivery tips that actually work for real people.
We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.
That is why we created a simple step by step eulogy writing guide. It gently walks you through what to include, how to shape your thoughts, and how to feel more prepared when the moment comes. → Find Out More
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- Who this guide is for
- What is a eulogy
- Terms you might see
- How long should a eulogy be
- Before you start writing
- Structure that actually works
- Writing the opening
- How to write the life sketch
- Anecdotes that stick
- Addressing complicated relationships
- Using humor the right way
- What to avoid in a eulogy
- Full eulogy examples you can adapt
- Example 1: Warm and practical grandma, three to four minute version
- Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
- Example 3: Funny and tender celebration of life tone
- Example 4: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful
- Fill in the blank templates
- Practical tips for delivery
- If you think you will cry while reading
- How to include readings, poems, and music
- Logistics and who to tell
- After the eulogy
- Checklist before you walk up to speak
- Recording the eulogy and sharing it
- Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Frequently asked questions
Who this guide is for
This article is for anyone asked to speak about their grandma at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or wake. Maybe you were the one who baked with her on Sundays. Maybe you lived far away and called more often the last year. Maybe the relationship was complicated. All of those are valid. You will find sample scripts for tender, funny, short, spiritual, and complicated options.
What is a eulogy
A eulogy is a short speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor someone who has died. It is personal. It is usually delivered by a family member or close friend. A eulogy is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice with basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy tells a story, shares memories, and can be imperfect and loving.
Terms you might see
- Obituary A published notice about a death that usually lists biographical details and service information.
- Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
- Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. They are often close relatives or friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal event that focuses on stories, photos, and memories rather than ritual.
- Hospice Medical and emotional support for people nearing the end of life with a focus on comfort and quality of life.
- RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
How long should a eulogy be
Short and focused usually works best. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is about four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. If many people will speak, check the total time allowed so the service stays on schedule. A concise, honest tribute often lands harder than a long rambling speech.
Before you start writing
Preparing before you write makes everything simpler. Use this quick checklist.
- Ask about time Confirm with family or the officiant how long you should speak and where you fit in the order of service.
- Choose a tone Do you want to be tender, funny, spiritual, or a mix? Check with close family to be sure the tone fits the occasion and the grandma you are honoring.
- Collect memories Ask siblings, cousins, and friends for one memory each. Small stories add up to a vivid portrait.
- Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about your grandma. Three keeps the speech organized and easy to follow.
Structure that actually works
A simple shape makes writing and speaking less stressful. Use this structure as a backbone.
- Opening Say your name and your relationship to your grandma. Offer one line that sets the tone.
- Life sketch A brief overview of her life in practical strokes like hometown, work, hobbies, and family role.
- Anecdotes One or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them sensory and specific.
- Lessons and traits Summarize what she taught you and what people will miss.
- Closing End with a goodbye line, a short quote, a memory prompt, or an invitation to share stories.
Writing the opening
The opening is simple and grounding. Introduce yourself and say why you are speaking. Then add one small true sentence that gives the audience a touch of her personality or what today is for.
Opening examples
- Hello. I am Maya and I am Lucy s granddaughter. Today we are here to remember how she made every Sunday feel like a small holiday.
- Hi everyone. I am Daniel, her grandson. Nana loved birds, bourbon, and business shirts from thrift stores. I want to tell you one small story about her thrift skills.
- Good afternoon. I am Aisha and I am Noor s daughter. She taught me how to make the perfect cup of tea and how to tell the truth even when it was hard.
How to write the life sketch
The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you want to tell. Mention where she was from, what she loved, and the roles she played. Keep it short and human.
Life sketch templates
- [Grandma s name] was born in [place]. She worked as a [job] and later spent years volunteering at [place]. She married [partner] and together they raised [number] children. She loved [hobby] and never missed a family birthday.
- [Grandma s name] moved to [city] when she was [age]. She was known for [quirk or habit], her famous [recipe], and the way she remembered every neighbor s name.
Anecdotes that stick
People remember stories not lists. Pick stories with a clear moment and a meaningful payoff. Keep them short, sensory, and tied to a trait you want to highlight.
Short anecdote examples
- When I was eight she taught me to peel apples without wasting any. She called it resourceful and made a pie out of the apples we saved. That pie tasted like thrift store magic and patience.
- She had a rule that Sunday mornings were for crossword puzzles and bad daytime TV. If you interrupted, she would give you a look that meant do not ruin my puzzle. We learned to whisper and to bring snacks.
- On long drives she would hum a tune and tap the steering wheel to the beat. I still hear that rhythm when I am nervous and it calms me down.
Addressing complicated relationships
Not every grandchild had a simple relationship with their grandma. You can still honor the truth without oversharing. Name the complexity, focus on a lesson or moment of care, and keep it dignified.
Examples for complicated relationships
- We did not always see eye to eye. She could be stubborn and I could be stubborn too. Still, she taught me the value of showing up even when it felt awkward. That lesson has followed me.
- Our relationship had its bumps. In the last year we found small moments of laughter. Those small moments were everything and I am grateful for them.
- She was direct and sometimes her words were sharp. I learned to listen beneath the sharpness and to find the care that was hiding there.
Using humor the right way
Humor opens a room for breathing. Use tiny, earned jokes that reveal character. Avoid anything that could embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience. Test the joke with one trusted relative before you use it.
Safe humor examples
- Nana had two rules. Rule one was do not talk about her garden. Rule two was always compliment her cookies. She took both very seriously.
- She labeled everything in the freezer so no one would accidentally eat her portion. We found labels on pizza and on mystery Tupperware for years.
What to avoid in a eulogy
- Avoid airing private family disputes or raw grievances in public.
- Avoid long lists of jobs and awards without any story to humanize them.
- Avoid clichés unless you follow them with a specific detail that makes them real.
- Avoid jokes that could humiliate or single out someone in the room.
Full eulogy examples you can adapt
Below are ready to use eulogies. Replace bracketed items with your details. Read them out loud and trim anything that feels forced. Each follows the structure above so they are easy to personalize.
Example 1: Warm and practical grandma, three to four minute version
Hello. I am Emma, her granddaughter. It is an honor to say a few words about my grandma, Ruth.
Ruth grew up in a small town and learned how to bake from her own mother. She worked as a school secretary and later as a volunteer at the library. She married Henry and together they raised three children who learned to fold napkins perfectly for family dinners.
One small story that captures her is about her holiday wrapping. She kept a roll of tape in the same drawer for fifty years and would quietly rewrap gifts when she thought someone had used too much paper. She believed presentation was an act of love. That patience and care is how she lived, not just how she wrapped.
She taught us to be dependable, to apologize when we were wrong, and to share our biscuits when someone needed a snack. Her generosity was steady and practical. She was the person you could call at midnight and she would pick up, even if she kept the receiver on three magazines to look busy.
We will miss her stories, her pies, and the way she made small days feel important. Thank you for being here and for holding her memory with us.
Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
Hi everyone. I am Marcus and I am Lee s grandson. Grandma Lee loved coffee that tasted like rocket fuel and bad detective shows. She taught me how to ask curious questions and how to make a mess of a kitchen and call it creativity. She was my home base. Thank you for being here with us today.
Example 3: Funny and tender celebration of life tone
Hello. I am Nina, her granddaughter. If you met my grandma you knew two things immediately. One she always had an extra cookie for anyone brave enough to ask. Two she considered lettuce a dessert if it had enough dressing. She made the best sandwiches and the worst salads and she loved both with the same fierce joy. Today we celebrate her appetite for life and for snacks. Please laugh with us as we remember her messy, generous self.
Example 4: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful
My name is Jordan. My grandma, Rose, was complicated and that is part of why I loved her. We had hard conversations that sometimes left both of us raw. In later years we found a rhythm where she would call with a story and I would sit and listen. Those calls felt like repair. She taught me resilience and how to hold space for people even when you do not agree. I am grateful for that time and for the small ways she cared for me.
Fill in the blank templates
Use these templates as a starting point. Replace bracketed text and then read the result out loud. Edit until the phrasing sounds like you.
Template A: Classic short
My name is [Your Name]. I am [Grandma s Name] grandchild. [Grandma s Name] was born in [place]. She loved [one hobby], she worked as [job], and she was the person we called when [small task or habit]. One memory that shows the kind of person she was is [brief story]. She taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.
Template B: For complicated relationships
My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Grandma s Name] was complicated. We disagreed about [small example]. Over time I came to appreciate [something positive]. In the last [months years] we [repaired our relationship shared laughs found understanding]. If I could say one thing to her now it would be [short line you want to say].
Template C: Light and funny with sincerity
Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Grandma s Name] was to know that [quirky habit]. She also made sure we learned [life practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. Even her smallest rituals had love baked in. I will miss her jokes and her exacting cookie distribution. Thank you.
Practical tips for delivery
Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics keep you steady and reduce stress.
- Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to manage when emotions rise.
- Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines each help you keep place and breathe between points.
- Mark emotional beats Put a bracket where you want to pause or take a breath. Pauses give you time to regroup.
- Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, to a mirror, or to a pet. Rehearsal helps your voice find a steady rhythm.
- Bring tissues and water A glass of water is freeing. Tears are normal and allowed.
- Ask for help If you think you might not get through it, arrange for a friend or family member to introduce you and to step in if needed.
- Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a natural volume. If there is no microphone, project slowly and clearly so the back row can hear.
If you think you will cry while reading
If tears come, pause, breathe, look at your notes, and then continue. If your voice breaks, slow down. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful. Remember the audience wants to support you. People will wait and they will feel honored that you stood up to speak.
How to include readings, poems, and music
Short readings work best. If you include a poem, pick a two to four line excerpt rather than reading a long poem. Readings can be religious or secular. Check with the officiant to make sure the piece fits the service. Place music where it supports the speech, for example before the eulogy or as a brief interlude after a strong line.
Music choices
- Pick songs your grandma loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
- If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
- Keep music short and intentional so it complements rather than overpowers the moment.
Logistics and who to tell
- Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
- Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
- Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service so they can include it in the program if desired.
After the eulogy
People will often ask for a copy. Offer to email the text or to print an extra copy for family members. Some families include the eulogy in a memory book or program. You can record the audio and share it privately. That recording can be a comfort to relatives who could not attend.
Checklist before you walk up to speak
- Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
- Print your speech with large, readable font and bring a backup copy.
- Practice at least a few times out loud.
- Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
- Bring tissues and a bottle of water if allowed.
- Tell a family member you might need a moment and arrange a small signal if you want them to finish if needed.
Recording the eulogy and sharing it
Ask permission before posting a recording online. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved add a short note about where donations should go if the family is accepting memorial gifts. Be mindful of the deceased s wishes and the family s comfort.
Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
- Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
- Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
- Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories, photos, and memories rather than ritual.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can take place at home or in a facility.
- RSVP Short for respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
Frequently asked questions
How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous
Begin with your name and your relationship to your grandma. A short opening line like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Grandma s Name] grandchild gives the audience context and gives you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.
What if I forget my place or break down
Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated family member or friend ready to step in. Preparing a short note that someone else can continue from helps in this scenario.
Should I include religious language if the family is not religious
Only if it was meaningful to your grandma or the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories instead. You can include a short reading or poem that matches the family s beliefs rather than a prayer.
How do I balance humor and respect
Use humor grounded in a real story that shows character. Avoid jokes that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members. Follow a joke with a sincere line to bring the tone back to love and remembrance.
Can I read the eulogy from my phone
Yes you can but make sure the screen will be visible in the venue and that the device will not ring. Many people prefer printed paper or index cards because they are easier to manage when emotions run high.
How long should a eulogy be
Aim for three to seven minutes. That is a good balance between saying enough and keeping the service moving. If several people will speak coordinate lengths so the event stays on schedule.
Is it okay to record and share the eulogy online
Check with the family before posting. Some families want privacy. If sharing is approved provide a short description and be mindful of the deceased s wishes.