How to Write a Eulogy for Your Grandfather In Law - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Sitting down to write a eulogy for your grandfather in law can feel weird and heavy at the same time. Maybe he was a quiet figure in your life. Maybe he was a loud source of good advice. Maybe he was the person who welcomed you like family the first time you showed up with takeout. This guide walks you through the whole process with practical steps, real examples you can borrow, and delivery tips that actually help. We explain any terms you might see and give ready to use templates so you do not start from a blank page.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about their grandfather in law at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. You might be his son in law or daughter in law. You might be a grandchild who grew up next door. Maybe you had a complicated relationship with him. That is okay. There are sample scripts for short, funny, tender, and complicated situations.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It is usually given during a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is personal and story driven. It is not the same thing as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that gives basic facts like birth and death dates, survivors, and service details. A eulogy shares memories, small truths, and the way a person mattered to others.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and funeral arrangements.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the program.
• Officiant The person who leads the service. This could be a clergy person, a celebrant, or a family friend.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. They are usually close family or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories photos and shared memories.
• Hospice A care approach focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care may take place at home or in a facility.
• In law This phrase refers to family members related by marriage. Grandfather in law means the grandfather of your spouse.

How long should a eulogy be

Short focused is better than long and rambling. Aim for three to seven minutes of speaking time. That is roughly 400 to 800 spoken words. If multiple people are speaking check the overall schedule and coordinate lengths so the service stays on time. If you are nervous about crying, plan for a shorter strong tribute.

Before you start writing

Getting some basic clarity first saves a lot of rewrites. Use this checklist.

• Check with the family or officiant about time Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your remarks fit in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want to be solemn, light, funny, or a mix? Match the tone to the person and the family. If you are unsure ask a close family member for guidance.
• Gather material Ask relatives and friends for one memory each. Look for recurring themes like his sense of humor his hobbies his sayings or the ways he helped others.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember. Three is a manageable number that gives your speech shape.
• Decide if it will be read or memorized For first time speakers reading from a printed copy or index cards is totally fine. Practice whatever you choose out loud a few times.

Structure that actually works

Organizing your thoughts gives people permission to follow you and gives you permission to be human. Use this simple shape.

• Opening State your name and your relationship to your grandfather in law. Offer a single sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a short overview of his life in simple strokes. Focus on roles like father grandfather veteran neighbor gardener or handyman.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that show character. Keep them specific and sensory when possible.
• Lessons and traits Summarize the qualities people will miss or the lessons he passed on.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line a brief poem line or a call to action such as planting a tree or sharing a memory after the service.

Writing the opening

The opening sets the tone and grounds the audience. Keep it simple and honest. Start with your name and relationship and then one brief sentence about what he meant to you or to the family.

Opening examples

• Good morning. I am Jess and I am Mark s wife. I am grateful to say a few words about my grandfather in law who always had coffee ready and advice even when we did not ask for it.
• Hello everyone. My name is Amir and I am Sofia s son. To me he was simply Grandpa Joe even though his official title was grandfather in law. He taught me how to fish and how to fix things that seemed broken forever.
• Hi. I am Dana and I am Claire s daughter in law. I remember him for the way he made every holiday feel like a team project and for the jokes he told that were somehow always the same and still funny.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that support the story you want to tell. Mention jobs hobbies military service if relevant community roles and the family relationships that mattered most.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place] in [year]. He worked as a [job] and later retired to [hobby or location]. He married [spouse name] and was a proud father and grandfather to [names or count].
• [Name] moved to [city] after serving in [branch if relevant]. He loved [hobby] and could be found at the local [place] most weekends. He had a way of making every guest feel welcome.

Anecdotes that matter

Stories help people remember a life. Choose one to two short anecdotes that show character. Aim for sensory detail a small twist and a clear takeaway.

Examples of short anecdotes

• He had a small workshop in the garage that smelled like oil and wood. When I asked where he kept the spare screws he would always hand me a tin that said take what you need and leave the mystery for next time.
• At every family barbecue he was the one who insisted on flipping the burgers and checking the grill like he was conducting a symphony. He took this job seriously and he took pride in feeding everyone.
• When my wife was nervous about meeting him he sat her down and explained the recipe for his chili recipe is not about the spice it is about patience. She still makes it and calls it Grandpa Joe s patience chili.

Addressing complicated or distant relationships

Not every relationship with a grandfather in law is simple. If your relationship was distant or strained you can still speak with honesty and dignity. Focus on specific moments of warmth or on things you learned. You do not need to air private grievances in public.

Examples for complicated situations

• We were not close in the beginning but over the last few years we found a quieter way to be family. I will carry those later conversations with me.
• He was a private man and sometimes hard to read. Even so he taught me to be steady to listen and to show up without trying to fix everything.
• We had our differences but I always respected his consistency and the way he showed up for family on Sundays. I am thankful for those Sundays.

Using humor the right way

Humor can be a relief and it can help people breathe. Use gentle earned jokes that highlight personality rather than embarrassing anyone. Test a joke with a close family member first to see if it lands.

Safe humor examples

• He could fall asleep anywhere which made family road trips exciting because you never knew when you would gain a new steering wheel snorer.
• He believed every problem could be fixed with duct tape and a good story. He had faith in both and in most cases they worked well enough.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid turning the speech into a therapy session or a place for family arguments.
• Avoid revealing private family secrets that could hurt people present.
• Avoid long lists of achievements without a story to make them human.
• Avoid cliches that say everything and nothing unless you immediately add a detail that makes it true.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples tailored to a grandfather in law. Replace bracketed text with your details and speak them in your own voice.

Example 1 Warm and steady three minute eulogy

Hello. My name is Olivia and I am Ben s wife. When I first met my grandfather in law he greeted me like I had been part of the family forever. He had a quiet way of listening and a laugh that started in his chest and spread like a small sunrise.

Frank grew up in a small town and worked as a machinist for most of his life. He loved model trains and could spend hours building a landscape that looked like another time. He and Ruth were married for fifty years. Together they hosted holiday dinners where every chair had a story and every guest had a second helping before they asked.

One small story that captures him is about his garden. He would talk to his tomatoes as if they were neighbors and then he would bring me a basket so full I had to carry it like a treasure. He taught me that generosity is often about showing up and sharing whatever you have even if it is only a small jar of jam.

He taught us to keep our word to show up and to find pride in small things. We will miss his steady presence the way you miss a lamp that always lights a corner. Please join me in remembering him by sharing a small garden memory or by tasting a jar of something sweet he would have liked.

Example 2 Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hi. I am Nate and I am Leah s husband. Grandpa Sam loved crossword puzzles early morning coffee and telling the same fishing story in better detail each time. He had a way of making you feel chosen to be there with him. Thank you for being here and for holding his memory with us.

Example 3 Celebration of life with humor

Good afternoon. I am Rosa and I am Marco s daughter in law. If you ever met my grandfather in law you know two facts about him. One he never met a sandwich he did not want to improve. Two he believed socks were a donation not a wardrobe. We will miss his sandwiches his sock generosity and the way he could teach you how to whistle a tune in five seconds. Today we share the stories that made us laugh and the small rituals that made us family.

Example 4 For a complicated relationship

Hello. I am Tyler and I am Hannah s husband. My relationship with my grandfather in law was a slow build. At first we kept to polite conversation. Over time we shared projects in the garage and small victories like fixing a squeaky door. In those quiet hours he taught me to be patient and to listen without the need to have an answer. I am grateful for that time and for the way those simple lessons have stuck with me.

Fill in the blank templates

Copy these templates and fill in the brackets. Read them out loud and trim anything that sounds forced.

Template A Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [spouse s name] [son daughter child] in law. [Grandfather s name] was born in [place or year]. He worked as a [job] and loved [hobby]. One memory that shows who he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here.

Template B For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [grandfather s name] started simply and then grew into something quieter and meaningful. We did not always know how to talk but we found a way in the garage over [shared activity] and in those moments I learned [lesson]. I am thankful for that time.

Template C Light funny and sincere

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [grandfather s name] was to know that every problem could be solved with a sandwich and a suspiciously strong cup of coffee. He also made sure everyone had a seat at his table and a ridiculous dad joke ready. I will miss his jokes his cooking and the way he made ordinary days feel like permission to laugh.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font and a second copy in case you need it. Paper is less likely to act up than a phone or tablet.
• Use cue cards Small cards with one idea each make it easier to regain your place if you pause.
• Mark pauses Place a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience might laugh. Pauses help you slow down and gather yourself.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend to get comfortable with the flow and timing.
• Bring tissues and water It is normal to cry. A sip of water can steady your voice.
• Have a backup Ask a friend or family member to be ready to finish a line if you cannot continue.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a steady pace. If there is no mic project to the back row and slow down.

When you want to cry while reading

If tears come that is okay. Pause take a breath look at your notes and continue. Slow down if your voice breaks. One small line said slowly is often more powerful than many rushed words. Remember you are allowed to be human in that room.

How to include readings poems and music

Short readings and song excerpts work best. If you choose a poem pick a two to four line excerpt rather than a long piece. Make sure the officiant is comfortable with your choice and print the text in the program if possible. If music will be played confirm the file format with the venue and keep the clip short so it supports the speech.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm your spot with the officiant so you know where to stand.
• Provide a copy of your speech to the person running the service in case they need it for the program or for timing.

After the eulogy

People often ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family and close friends. Some families include the text in a memory book or program. If you recorded the audio check with the family before posting anything online. A private recording can be a comfort to relatives who could not attend.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer Person chosen to help carry the casket usually a close family member or friend.
• Celebration of life A less formal event that focuses on stories photos and sharing memories.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life.
• RSVP An abbreviation for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It asks guests to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to the deceased. A short opening sentence like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Grandfather s Name] grandson in law gives the audience context and buys you a breath. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you when you begin.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause breathe and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to step in. It helps to give that person a copy of your notes ahead of time.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes that come from real memories and that do not embarrass anyone. Follow a joke with a sincere line and you will keep the tone grounded.

How do I honor a grandfather in law I did not know well

Be honest and kind. Say how you met him mention a specific thing you learned about him and express gratitude for what he meant to your spouse or to your family. A short sincere tribute is better than filler.

Should I include military service or other achievements

Yes include these facts if they were important to him. But attach a small story or detail that makes the achievement human. For example mention the way he kept a photo from his service on his bedside table or the stories he would tell about that time.

How long should a eulogy be

Aim for three to seven minutes. That is usually around 400 to 800 words. Short focused speeches tend to be the most memorable.