Writing a eulogy for your grandfather can feel like carrying the whole family memory on your shoulders and also like a chance to say the things you wished you had said sooner. This guide gives you a clear, usable method plus ready to use examples and fill in the blank templates you can personalize. We explain any words you might not know and include delivery tips that actually help. Read through, pick a template, and start writing with a steady breath.
We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.
That is why we created a simple step by step eulogy writing guide. It gently walks you through what to include, how to shape your thoughts, and how to feel more prepared when the moment comes. → Find Out More
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- Who this guide is for
- What is a eulogy
- How long should a eulogy be
- Before you start writing
- Structure that actually works
- Writing the opening
- How to write the life sketch
- Anecdotes that make people feel close
- Addressing complex or distant relationships
- Using humor the right way
- What to avoid in a eulogy
- Full eulogy examples you can adapt
- Example 1: Warm and practical grandfather, three to four minute version
- Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
- Example 3: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful
- Example 4: Celebration of life tone with humor
- Fill in the blank templates
- Practical tips for delivery
- When you want to cry while reading
- How to include readings, poems, or music
- Logistics and who to tell
- After the eulogy
- Checklist before you step up to speak
- Recording the eulogy and sharing it
- Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Frequently asked questions
Who this guide is for
This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about their grandfather at a funeral, memorial, graveside service, or celebration of life. Maybe you are the grandchild who always sat in his lap or maybe you had a complicated bond. That is okay. You will find sample scripts for tender, funny, short, and honest needs. If you are nervous about public speaking this guide will also walk you through practical ways to prepare.
What is a eulogy
A eulogy is a short speech given at a funeral or memorial that honors the life of the person who died. It is personal and story driven. A eulogy is not the same thing as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice, usually published online or in a paper, that lists facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is a spoken tribute that shares memories, feelings, and snapshots of character.
Common terms and acronyms explained
- Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes basic biographical details and information about the service.
- Order of service The program or schedule for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers.
- Pallbearer A person chosen to help carry the casket. They are often close family members or friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories rather than ritual and formality.
- Hospice A care approach focused on comfort for people nearing the end of life. Hospice care can be provided at home or in a facility.
- RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It appears on invitations to ask guests to confirm attendance.
- VA If your grandfather was in the military you might see VA which stands for Veterans Affairs. It is the government department that manages veteran benefits and services.
How long should a eulogy be
Short and focused is almost always better. Aim for three to seven minutes which usually equals about four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. If you are unsure, check with the family or the officiant about time. A tight, specific three minute tribute can feel more honest and memorable than a long unfocused speech.
Before you start writing
Preparation makes the writing easier and the delivery steadier. Use this quick plan to gather what you need.
- Ask about time Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your remarks fit in the order of service.
- Decide the tone Do you want to be solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Check with close family so the tone matches the occasion.
- Collect material Ask relatives and family friends for one memory each. Gather nicknames, little rituals, jobs, hobbies, and favorite sayings.
- Choose two or three focus points Pick two or three main things you want listeners to remember. That gives the eulogy a clear shape.
- Plan the opening Know how you will introduce yourself and your relationship to your grandfather. That opening buys you a breath to settle.
Structure that actually works
A clear structure helps you tell a true and compact story. Use this shape.
- Opening Say your name and your relationship, and offer one sentence that sets the tone.
- Life sketch Give a brief overview of his life roles like son, veteran, carpenter, mentor, or neighbor. Keep it short.
- Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Use sensory detail and a small payoff.
- Traits and lessons Summarize the things he taught people or the ways he made life better.
- Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short quote, or an invitation for others to share memories after the service.
Writing the opening
The opening gives you a safe first step on stage. Start with your name and your relation. Then state one clear reason the day matters. Keep it simple and true.
Opening examples
- Hello, my name is Josh and I am Daniel s grandson. Today we are here to remember the small ways he made ordinary days feel important.
- Hi everyone, I am Lana, his eldest granddaughter. Grandpa loved maps and he taught me to always have a sense of where you are going even if the road curves.
- Good afternoon, I am Mark, the kid who learned how to whittle and how to apologize correctly from my grandfather Tom.
How to write the life sketch
The life sketch is not a full biography. Choose the facts that support the story you want to tell. Focus on roles and traits rather than a long list of jobs.
Life sketch templates
- [Name] was born in [place] in [year]. He worked as a [job] and later loved his retirement years fixing radios and helping neighbors. He served in the [branch of military] or he volunteered at [organization].
- [Name] moved to [city] after [life event]. He loved [hobby], had a stubborn laugh, and was the type of man who always had time for a cup of tea and a listening ear.
Anecdotes that make people feel close
People remember stories more than lists. Pick stories with a small setup, an action, and a line that explains why it mattered. Keep them under a minute when spoken.
Examples of short anecdotes
- When I was seven he taught me to throw a baseball by showing the grip and then pretending he was terrible at math to make me laugh. I still use his awful math joke whenever I need to focus.
- Every Sunday he would make pancakes shaped like animals. We never cared what the animals were supposed to be. We cared that he made them with patience and syrup on the side.
- He had a rule about tools. If you borrowed a wrench you returned it cleaner than you found it. He wanted the world to stay usable.
Addressing complex or distant relationships
Not every relationship with a grandfather is warm and simple. If your relationship was strained you can still speak honestly and with dignity. Acknowledging complexity is allowed. You do not need to air private grievances in public. You can mention growth, lessons, or closure.
Examples for complicated relationships
- My grandfather could be quiet and difficult to read. Over time I learned to listen for the small kindnesses. Those small things mattered more than I realized.
- We did not always agree, but he taught me to stand up for myself. That lesson was hard and it helped me find my voice.
- We found peace in the last year. He apologized for things he had never said before and that made room for a simpler love.
Using humor the right way
Humor can feel like a breath of fresh air. Use small earned jokes and avoid anything that could embarrass the deceased or upset family members. Test jokes with a close friend first.
Safe humor examples
- He made the best barbecue in town for every holiday even if the grill was mostly smoke and confidence.
- Grandpa had two growth strategies for his garden. One was patience. The other was telling the plants they had a bright future and then secretly watering them more than he told us.
What to avoid in a eulogy
- Avoid using the eulogy as a place to settle family disputes.
- Avoid sharing private details that might hurt people present.
- Avoid long lists of achievements without stories to make them feel human.
- Avoid cliches without a specific detail that proves them true.
Full eulogy examples you can adapt
Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and speak them out loud to see how they feel.
Example 1: Warm and practical grandfather, three to four minute version
Hello. I am Amy, his granddaughter. It is an honor to say a few words about my grandfather, Henry.
Henry grew up in Dayton and spent most of his working life as an electrician. He loved solving puzzles and fixing radios whether they belonged to family or a neighbor. He married Jane, and together they raised three children. In retirement he volunteered at the community center teaching kids basic wiring and safe habits.
One small story that captures him happened on a rainy afternoon when my bike chain came off. He did not just fix the chain. He sat on the curb with me, showed me how to use a wrench properly, and made a joke about his first attempt at flip flops when he was a kid. He made hard things feel doable.
He taught us to be useful, to show up, and to never be afraid to take something apart to understand it. He also taught us how to make a mean cup of coffee at seven in the morning for fishing trips. We will miss the sound of his laugh and the way he always had a spare glove for anyone who needed one. Thank you for coming and for keeping his memory with us.
Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
Hi everyone. I am Mateo and I am his grandson. Grandpa loved crossword puzzles, Saturday mornings, and letting us have one extra cookie if we promised to share. He taught me to be curious and to always check the oil in a car. He was quiet but he made our Sundays feel safe. Thank you for being here and for sharing your stories with us after the service.
Example 3: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful
My name is Carla. My grandfather, Luis, was complicated and I think that is part of what made him interesting. We did not always understand each other. He was stubborn and so was I. Over the last few years we found a way to laugh together about small things and those small moments meant everything to me. He taught me to be stubborn about my values and soft about my people. I am grateful for those lessons.
Example 4: Celebration of life tone with humor
Hello. I am Ben, his oldest grandchild. If you ever met my grandfather you know that he had two certainties. The first was that coffee comes before decisions. The second was that a good story is always worth repeating even if he told it last week. We will miss his stories, his terrible puns, and the way he cheered louder than anyone at little league games. Today we celebrate his curiosity and his loud approval of our questionable life choices. Please laugh with us and tell your favorite story after the service.
Fill in the blank templates
Use these templates as a starting point. Fill in the blanks, then read aloud and edit until the words sound like you.
Template A: Classic short
My name is [Your Name]. I am [grandfather s name] [grandson granddaughter grandchild]. [Grandfather s name] was born in [place or year]. He worked as [job], loved [hobby], and was the person who always [small habit]. One memory that shows who he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.
Template B: For complicated relationships
My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [grandfather s name] was not simple. We argued about [small example] and we made up over [small ritual]. In recent years we found a quieter way to be together. If I could say one thing now it would be [short line you want to say].
Template C: Light and funny with sincerity
Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [grandfather s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also made sure we learned [practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny short story]. He made us laugh and he made life more usable. I will miss his jokes and his exacting spice rack. Thank you for being here.
Practical tips for delivery
Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics will keep you steady.
- Print your speech Use large font. Paper can be less distracting than a small phone screen.
- Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines per card are easier to manage than a page full of text.
- Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience may laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup.
- Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, a partner, or a pet. Practice tells your throat what to expect.
- Bring tissues Or a handkerchief. If you get stuck, breathe, swallow, and continue when you are ready. The audience will wait.
- Ask for backup If you think you will not get through it arrange for someone to introduce you and to step in if needed.
- Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If there is no mic speak slowly and project to the back row.
When you want to cry while reading
If tears come that is okay. Pause, breathe, and look down at your notes. If you need a moment take it. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful than trying to say everything. You are allowed to be human in that room and the people listening want to support you.
How to include readings, poems, or music
Short excerpts work best. If you include a poem pick a two to four line excerpt instead of an entire long piece. Readings can be religious or secular. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with the text and provide printed copies in the program if possible.
Music choices
- Choose songs your grandfather loved or songs that fit the tone of the event.
- If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
- Keep music short and use it to highlight a moment such as entering the room or after a particularly meaningful line.
Logistics and who to tell
- Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
- Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
- Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service so they can include it in the program if needed.
After the eulogy
People often ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family and friends. Families sometimes include the eulogy in a printed program or a memory book. You can record the audio and share it privately with those who could not attend. That recording can be a comfort to family members who want to hear your voice again later.
Checklist before you step up to speak
- Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
- Print your speech and bring a backup copy.
- Practice at least three times out loud.
- Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
- Bring tissues and a bottle of water if allowed.
- Tell a close family member you might need a moment and arrange a signal if you want someone to finish for you.
Recording the eulogy and sharing it
Ask permission before posting a recording online. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved add a short note about where donations are going if donations are being collected. You can also create a private folder where family members can upload photos and memories to accompany the recording.
Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who died.
- Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
- Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
- Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories, photos, and less ritual.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can take place at home or in a facility.
- RSVP An abbreviation for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
- VA Short for Veterans Affairs. If your grandfather served in the military VA refers to the government department that manages veteran benefits and services.
Frequently asked questions
How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous
Begin with your name and your relationship to your grandfather. A short opening sentence like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Grandfather s Name] grandson gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you when you begin to speak.
What if I forget my place or start crying
Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue ask a designated family member or friend to finish for you. Having a short note that someone else can pick up from helps in this scenario.
Should I include religious language if the family is not religious
Only if it was meaningful to your grandfather or the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories instead. You can include a short poem or a meaningful quote that fits the family s beliefs.
How do I balance humor and respect
Use humor that is rooted in a real memory and that shows character. Avoid jokes that might embarrass the deceased or single out people in the audience. Follow up a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone. Humor can open hearts when it is used kindly.
Can I read the eulogy from my phone
Yes you can, but make sure the screen will be visible in the venue and that the device will not ring. Many people prefer paper or index cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high.
How long should a eulogy be
Three to seven minutes is a good target. Short speeches tend to be more memorable and the family will appreciate the service remaining on schedule. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times so the event flows smoothly.
Is it okay to record and share the eulogy online
Check with the family before posting. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved add a short explanation and be mindful of any wishes about images or music included with the recording.