How to Write a Eulogy for Your Gran - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your gran can feel impossible and necessary at the same time. You want to do her justice, hold the room, and not fall apart five sentences in. This guide walks you through a simple structure, gives real examples you can adapt, explains any funeral terms you might see, and offers delivery tips that actually help. Pick a template, swap in your details, and make it feel like her.

Who this is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about their gran at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. Maybe you are the obvious speaker because you were her primary carer. Maybe you were the grandchild who always sat on her lap. Maybe your relationship was complicated. There are examples for tender, funny, messy, short, and longer needs.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honours someone who has died. It usually appears as part of a funeral or memorial. A eulogy is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that covers facts like birth date and service details. A eulogy is personal. It is a story told out loud.

Helpful terms and acronyms

• Obituary A written announcement of a death that includes biographical details and service information.
• Order of service The schedule for the funeral or memorial listing readings, music, and speakers.
• Pallbearer Someone chosen to carry the casket at a funeral. They are often close family or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories and photos rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life when someone is nearing the end of life. It can happen at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy for your gran be

Short and focused usually works best. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is about 400 to 800 spoken words. If multiple people will speak, check the time with the family or the officiant. A short, true tribute often carries more emotion than a long, rambling speech.

Before you start writing

Take a few practical steps first. They will save time and stress.

• Check the time Ask the family or officiant how long you are expected to speak.
• Decide the tone Do you want solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Confirm with close family so the tone fits the audience and your gran s personality.
• Ask for memories Send a quick message to siblings, cousins, or friends asking for one memory each. Small details are gold.
• Pick three things Choose three simple focus points to shape your speech. Three keeps it memorable and manageable.
• Gather facts Collect birth place, family names, important dates, and any formal roles she held. You do not need every detail for the speech but have them for accuracy.

Structure that actually works

Use a simple shape that gives the listener a clear path and gives you permission to breathe.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to Gran. Offer one sentence about why you are speaking.
• Life snapshot Give a brief overview of her life in a few practical strokes. Focus on roles like daughter, wife, mother, gran, cook, volunteer.
• Anecdotes Tell one to three short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Lessons and traits Summarise the things she taught you or the qualities people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short quote, or a call to action like lighting a candle or sharing a favourite memory afterwards.

How to write the opening

Keep your opening simple. State your name and relationship. That buys you a breath and gives the audience context.

Opening examples

• Hello everyone. My name is Jess and I am Gran s oldest granddaughter. It is an honour to say a few words about her today.
• Hi. I m Tom and I was lucky to call Joan Gran. I want to tell you a little about the way she refused to let anyone leave hungry.
• Good afternoon. I m Aisha, her grandson. Gran taught me how to mend things and how to forgive quickly. I d like to share two small stories that explain both.

Writing the life snapshot

The life snapshot is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you want to tell. Use plain language and avoid long lists. Think roles and small habits that make her feel alive.

Life snapshot templates

• [Name] was born in [place] in [year]. She worked as a [job] and later was known for [role or hobby]. She raised [number] children and adored her grandchildren.
• [Name] moved to [town] as a young adult. She loved [hobby], made the best [food], and never missed a family birthday. She volunteered at [place] for many years.

Anecdotes that matter

People remember stories more than statements. Pick one or two short stories that show who your gran was. A good story has a setup, a detail, and a small payoff that explains why it matters.

Examples of short anecdotes

• When I was small she taught me to bake by handing me a spoon and saying keep stirring until the world calms down. I still stir when I am anxious and it helps.
• She had an impossible garden. One year she grew tomatoes the size of apples and gave the neighbours buckets of them. She believed food was love you could hand over the fence.
• On family holidays Gran insisted on singing even when she did not know the words. Her singing said we are here and we belong together.

Addressing complicated relationships

Not every relationship with a gran was simple. If your relationship was messy you can still speak with honesty and dignity. You do not need to air private grievances. You can acknowledge difficulty and point to what you learned or how things healed.

Examples for complicated relationships

• Gran and I did not always see eye to eye. We argued about money and independence. In the last few years we found a gentler way to talk. I am grateful for that time.
• She could be blunt and stubborn. I learned to listen better and to stand up for myself. Those lessons were hard then and useful now.
• We had distance for a long time. In the end she reached out and we made new memories that I will treasure.

Using humour the right way

Humour can give the room permission to breathe. Use small, earned jokes that show character. Test them with someone who will be honest. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members.

Safe humour examples

• Gran had a rule that you never left without cake. We all took the cake rule very seriously and one cousin made a career of sneaking slices.
• She had very firm opinions about the correct way to fold a tea towel. It was a form of gentle tyranny that somehow made life neater.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a therapy session or a place to settle old scores.
• Avoid gossip or private family secrets that could hurt people present.
• Avoid listing accomplishments without stories to make them real.
• Avoid cliches unless you immediately give a specific detail that makes them true.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples you can use. Replace bracketed text with your details and read them aloud before you speak.

Example 1: Short and tender, two to three minutes

Hello. I m Emily, Gran s granddaughter. Gran, or Nanny as some of us called her, had the kind of laugh that filled a kitchen. She was born in 1938 in Leeds, worked as a seamstress for most of her life, and later ran a community knitting group that fed people both literally and emotionally.

My favourite memory is coming home from school with muddy knees and Gran meeting me at the door with a mug of hot chocolate and a towel she had warmed in the dryer. That small act said she noticed and she cared. She taught me to mend clothes and to mend relationships with the same patience. I will miss her hands and that warm towel. Thank you for being here to remember her.

Example 2: Longer, more narrative, four to six minutes

Good afternoon. I m Daniel, her grandson. If you knew Gran you knew three things. She loved a bargain, she loved her rose garden, and she loved to tell you how best to load a dishwasher. She grew up during tough times and learned to make the most of what she had. That practicality came with a generosity that surprised many of us.

When my children were babies she would arrive with a bag of clothing and a tin of biscuits. She never asked for anything in return. One day she insisted on teaching my older daughter how to plant seeds. They dug for an hour and then sat quietly watching the earth settle. Gran said to her quietly everything begins small and it is worth waiting for. That line stuck with us. She taught us to be patient, to give freely, and to laugh at ourselves. We will miss her quiet insistence that life can be beautiful even when it is small.

Example 3: Funny with heart, under three minutes

Hi, I m Raj and I am Gran s grandson. Gran had two rules. Rule one was always bring cake. Rule two was never trust a parking meter. She lived by those rules and by doing so taught us that some rules are silly and some rules keep life from getting too serious. She had opinions about everything and she wore those opinions like a favourite cardigan. We will miss that cardigan and we will miss her cake. Thank you for coming to celebrate her.

Example 4: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful

Hello. I m Lucy. My relationship with Gran had its hard parts. We fought about choices and we held different values. In the last few years she softened unexpectedly. She apologised for things I never thought she would apologise for. Those apologies did not erase the past but they gave me a kind of peace I did not know I needed. I choose to remember the ways she tried and the moments she made right. I am grateful for the chance to say thank you.

Fill in the blank templates

Copy a template and fill in the brackets. Then read it out loud and trim anything that sounds forced.

Template A: Classic short tribute

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Gran s name] [grandchild grandson granddaughter]. [Gran s name] was born in [place or year]. She loved [one hobby], worked as [job], and always made sure no one left her house hungry. One memory that shows who she was is [brief story]. She taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Gran s name] was complicated. We had hard years and difficult conversations. Over time we made peace and found small ways to be together. One thing I learned from her is [lesson]. If I could say one thing now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: Light and funny with sincerity

Hi, I m [Your Name]. To know [Gran s name] was to know her rules. She also made the best [food], and she had a laugh that meant you were safe. My favourite memory is [funny small story]. She made us laugh and she made us better at sharing. I will miss her jokes and her tea. Thank you for being here.

Delivery tips that actually work

Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to handle than a small phone screen when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one or two lines each help you keep place and trim long paragraphs into manageable chunks.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe. Pauses give you time to regroup and let the audience react.
• Practice out loud Read to a friend, to a plant, or to your reflection. Practice tells your throat what to expect.
• Bring tissues and water You might need both. A sip of water calms the voice.
• Arrange a backup If you think you might not finish, ask someone to be ready to step in for one or two final lines.
• Microphone basics Keep the mic a few inches from your mouth and speak at a steady pace. If there is no mic, project gently to the back row.

What to do if you cry while reading

Tears are okay. Pause, breathe, look down at your notes, and then continue. If your voice breaks, slow down. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful. The audience will wait. If you cannot continue, your backup can finish a sentence or two.

Including readings, poems, or music

Short readings work best. Pick a two to four line excerpt rather than a long poem. If you use music, choose songs your gran loved or songs that match the tone of the event. Confirm with the officiant and provide printed text in the program if possible.

Reading and music ideas

• Short poems about memory, like a few lines from Mary Oliver or from contemporary poets.
• A folk song your gran hummed or a hymn if she was religious.
• A recorded track played quietly under someone s opening line to set the mood.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you need a mic or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they need it for the program or for timing.

After the eulogy

People might ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family and friends. Some families include the eulogy in a printed program or a memory book. If you recorded the audio, ask permission before posting online. The recording can be a comfort to people who could not attend.

Checklist before you step up

• Confirm your time limit with family or officiant.
• Print your speech and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a bottle of water.
• Tell someone who can finish a line if you need help.

Glossary of useful terms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honour the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death and usually including service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket, typically family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life near the end of life. It can be at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French respond s il vous plait meaning please respond. It asks people to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to Gran. A simple sentence like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am Gran s grandson gives the audience context and buys you a moment to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you when you begin.

What if I forget my place or I start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to step in. A short note that someone else can pick up from helps here.

Can I use humour in a eulogy for my gran

Yes. Small earned humour is often welcome. Use jokes rooted in real memories that show character. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset close family members. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect tone.

How long should a eulogy be if multiple people are speaking

If several people will speak aim for two to three minutes each or coordinate times so the whole service stays on schedule. Confirm total speaking time with the family or officiant.

Is it okay to read the eulogy from my phone

Yes you can but make sure the screen is bright enough in the venue and that the device will not ring. Many people prefer printed paper or index cards since they are easier to handle when emotions are high.

Should I include religious language if the family is not religious

Only if it was meaningful to your gran. If religion was not central choose secular language that honours memory and values instead. You can include a short poem or non religious reading that fits the family s beliefs.

What if my gran s life was complicated and I do not know what to say

Be honest without being hurtful. You can acknowledge complexity and focus on small reconciliations or lessons learned. If in doubt keep the tribute brief and speak to one or two true things you can claim.