Being asked to speak for your godbrother feels special and heavy at the same time. You were chosen because you shared a bond that is part family and part chosen. This guide helps you write something real, useful, and short enough to get through. You will find explanations of unfamiliar terms, practical tips for writing and delivery, and multiple sample eulogies you can adapt to your voice and the relationship you had.
We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.
That is why we created a simple step by step eulogy writing guide. It gently walks you through what to include, how to shape your thoughts, and how to feel more prepared when the moment comes. → Find Out More
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- Who this guide is for
- What is a eulogy
- How long should your eulogy be
- Before you start writing
- Structure that works
- How to write the opening
- Writing the life sketch
- Anecdotes that make the speech feel real
- How to handle complicated or mixed relationships
- Using humor and when it works
- What to avoid
- Full eulogy examples you can adapt
- Example 1: Short and tender, about 2 minutes
- Example 2: Funny with warmth, about 3 minutes
- Example 3: Older godbrother who felt like a mentor, about 4 minutes
- Example 4: Complicated relationship with honest closure, about 3 minutes
- Fill in the blank templates
- Practical tips for delivery
- How to include readings, music, or rituals
- Logistics and who to tell
- After the eulogy
- Glossary of useful terms and abbreviations
- Frequently asked questions
Who this guide is for
This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service for a godbrother. Maybe you were raised together sometimes. Maybe you were more distant and connected as adults. Maybe your godbrother felt like a sibling or felt like a best friend who wore a family title. All those relationships are valid. There are examples here for short and long speeches, for funny tones, and for complicated feelings.
What is a eulogy
A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It is usually offered during a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is personal. It shares memories, values, and an impression of who that person was. It is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that lists basic facts like birth and death dates and service details. A eulogy is your voice in the room.
Terms you might see
- Godbrother A person who was chosen to be a spiritual sibling when baptized or during a similar rite. Godfamily can act as emotional and spiritual support. Godbrother does not always mean biological relation.
- Officiant The person leading the funeral or memorial service. This could be a clergy member, celebrant, or a family friend who is running the program.
- Order of service The planned sequence of the event listing speakers, readings, and music so guests know what will happen and when.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories rather than ritual or tradition.
- Obituary A public notice of a death with factual details and service information. It is not a substitute for a eulogy.
How long should your eulogy be
Keep it short and intentional. Aim for two to six minutes. That is about 300 to 700 spoken words. Shorter speeches are usually stronger. If the service has multiple speakers confirm your time with the family or the officiant so the whole event stays on track.
Before you start writing
A quick checklist makes writing less overwhelming.
- Ask about time Confirm how long to speak and where you fit in the order of service.
- Decide the tone Do you want to be tender, funny, matter of fact, or a mix? Check with close family so the tone fits the setting.
- Gather stories Ask friends and family for one memory each. Even small details can make the speech feel alive.
- Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to leave remembering. Three is small but memorable.
- Choose your opening line Have one simple opening that says who you are and why you are speaking.
Structure that works
Use a shape that is easy to write and even easier to remember when your throat feels tight.
- Opening Introduce yourself and your relationship to your godbrother in one sentence.
- Life sketch Give a concise sense of who he was with a few key roles or facts.
- Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that show character and personality.
- Traits or lessons Name values, habits, or things he taught you and others.
- Closing Offer a line of goodbye, a call to remember him a certain way, or a short reading or quote.
How to write the opening
Do not overthink the start. Say your name, your relationship, and a single line that sets the tone.
Opening examples you can borrow
- Hello, I am Alex and I had the honor of being Ethan s godbrother. Ethan had a laugh that could end an argument faster than anyone I knew.
- Hi, I am Priya. I met Sam when our families became godfamily. He showed up for birthdays like it was his job and for everything else like it was his choice.
- I m Jonah, and Mark was more than my godbrother. He was the person who taught me how to fix a bike chain at midnight when I came home crying.
Writing the life sketch
The life sketch is a short, honest summary. Do not list everything. Pick the roles or facts that give a useful picture.
Life sketch templates
- [Name] grew up in [place], loved [hobby], and worked as [job]. He was a friend, a godbrother, and someone who could always be counted on to bring extra snacks.
- [Name] moved around a lot growing up and found family in chosen people. He volunteered at [place], loved [sport or music], and always had time for a quick text when you needed it.
Anecdotes that make the speech feel real
Stories are the heart of a eulogy. Short is better than long. Give a setup, a small action, and a one line payoff that explains why the moment mattered.
Quick anecdote examples
- Once we got locked out of a car and he calmed everyone by telling jokes. They were terrible but they worked. He taught me that presence can solve more than perfect solutions.
- He rigged a backyard projector with a sheet and showed movies for the whole block. He did it because he liked people together. That is who he was.
- When my first job interview crashed, he drove me across the city at dawn so I could make the call. He did little things like that without saying they were important.
How to handle complicated or mixed relationships
Not every relationship is pure adoration. If your godbrother had messiness in his life you can be honest without being cruel. Acknowledge complexity and focus on what you learned or the moments you shared.
Examples for complicated relationships
Being asked to give a eulogy is an honour, but it can feel daunting when you are grieving. This guide offers a calm, step by step process so you are not starting from a blank page alone.
You will learn how to:
- Gather memories with simple prompts.
- Shape them into a clear structure.
- Choose wording that sounds like you when read aloud.
What is inside: short outlines, prompts, example eulogies and delivery tips to support you from first notes to final reading.
Perfect for: family, friends and colleagues who want to honour a loved one with sincere, manageable words.
- We had our fights. He could frustrate me and he could surprise me. In the end he was someone who showed up when it mattered and that is what I will remember.
- He struggled with things I did not understand. That did not stop him from trying to be better. I am grateful for the times we laughed together even when life was hard.
- We were close later in life. Our bond grew as we got older and more honest. I will miss that late night honesty more than anything.
Using humor and when it works
Humor is often welcome. Use small, earned moments that reveal character. Test a joke on someone who will be honest. Avoid jokes that single out people in the audience or that could feel disrespectful to the person who died.
Safe humor examples
- He once tried to cook pasta without water. I will let you imagine the rest. He did not win at everything but he tried with full enthusiasm.
- He had a playlist he thought was underground. We all found out it was not when he danced on tables at my cousin s wedding. He danced anyway and that is what mattered.
What to avoid
- Do not use the eulogy to settle scores or expose private grievances.
- Do not read a long list of accomplishments without stories to make them human.
- Do not use humor that could embarrass someone present.
- Do not invent facts or exaggerate to create a better story. Realness is more powerful.
Full eulogy examples you can adapt
Below are complete examples for different tones and lengths. Replace bracketed text with your details and make them yours.
Example 1: Short and tender, about 2 minutes
Hi, I m Maya and I was Liam s godbrother. Liam had a way of making wherever he was feel like the safest place. He loved soccer, old cartoons, and terrible coffee that he claimed was an acquired taste. The thing I will miss most is his habit of texting a silly gif at exactly the wrong time so you had to laugh even when you were sad. He showed up for people in small, steady ways. Tonight, let s remember him by doing something small for one another. Thank you.
Example 2: Funny with warmth, about 3 minutes
Hello, I m Noah and if you ever borrowed money from Owen you knew it would come back with snacks and a story. Owen was the person who could convince you that pizza at midnight was a moral necessity. He was loud about his opinions and surprisingly gentle about everything else. One night his car got a flat tire and he insisted the problem was the tire s attitude. We laughed, fixed the tire, and then went for tacos. That ability to make the absurd feel light is what I will miss. Eat something slightly ridiculous in his honor today and smile about him.
Example 3: Older godbrother who felt like a mentor, about 4 minutes
My name is Elena. I always called him big brother even though we were not blood related. He taught me to change a tire, to negotiate a rent increase, and to check on people without asking too many questions. He had a steady moral code and remembered birthdays in ways that made you feel like you were the only person in the room. The last lesson he gave me was how to apologize even when it was hard. I am better for that. Goodbye for now. I will try to be as steady for others as you were for me.
Example 4: Complicated relationship with honest closure, about 3 minutes
I m Daniel. My relationship with Sam was not perfect. We had fights that lasted weeks and silences that felt permanent. Yet in the last years he made a quiet effort to be present. He showed up at graduation and he sat with me in the hospital when my grandmother was sick. Those moments were the real ones. I will remember both the hard parts and the good parts. I am grateful for the time we had and for the changes I was lucky enough to see.
Fill in the blank templates
Use these templates to speed up writing. Fill in the blanks and then edit to sound like you.
Template A: Short and simple
My name is [Your Name]. I am [Godbrother s Name] godbrother. [Name] loved [hobby or habit]. One memory that shows who he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. I will miss [what you will miss]. Thank you for being here.
Being asked to give a eulogy is an honour, but it can feel daunting when you are grieving. This guide offers a calm, step by step process so you are not starting from a blank page alone.
You will learn how to:
- Gather memories with simple prompts.
- Shape them into a clear structure.
- Choose wording that sounds like you when read aloud.
What is inside: short outlines, prompts, example eulogies and delivery tips to support you from first notes to final reading.
Perfect for: family, friends and colleagues who want to honour a loved one with sincere, manageable words.
Template B: For a godbrother who felt like a sibling
Hi, I m [Your Name]. [Name] was more than a godbrother, he was family. We did [shared activity], argued about [small quarrel], and celebrated [shared victory]. He made our house feel loud and safe. If you want to remember him, do [small action] in his honor.
Template C: For a relationship with distance or complexity
I am [Your Name]. My relationship with [Name] was complicated. We were not always close but he mattered. In the last [months years] we found [a way to connect a memory]. If there is one thing I want to say to him now it is [short line you want to say].
Practical tips for delivery
- Print your speech Use large font and easy line spacing. Paper is less likely to glitch than phones.
- Use cue cards One or two lines per card helps you keep place under stress.
- Mark emotional beats Put a bracket or underline where you want to pause or breathe. Pauses are okay and helpful.
- Practice out loud Read to a friend, to your dog, or to nobody. Speaking it once out loud makes a big difference.
- Bring tissues and water Small comforts matter. A sip of water can steady you.
- Arrange a backup If you think you might not finish, ask someone to be ready to finish a sentence or two if needed.
- Mic tip Hold a microphone steadier than you think. Speak slowly and project to the back row. If there is no mic, imagine the last row of people and speak to them gently.
How to include readings, music, or rituals
Short pieces work best. A few lines from a poem or a favorite lyric can add meaning. Confirm with the officiant before including music or a reading and provide printed text for the program if possible. If the family prefers privacy do not post recordings online without permission.
Logistics and who to tell
- Tell the funeral director or venue if you need a microphone or a table for notes.
- Confirm your spot and time with the officiant so the order of service runs smoothly.
- Offer to email your speech to family members who want a copy for memory books or programs.
After the eulogy
People often ask for copies. Offer to share the text by email or to leave it with the family for a memory book. Some families will record the service. Ask for permission before posting anything online. Sharing is a kind gesture but respect privacy first.
Glossary of useful terms and abbreviations
- Godfamily The group of people connected by godparent and godchild relationships. They are chosen for spiritual and emotional support.
- Officiant The person who leads the funeral or memorial service.
- Order of service The planned flow of the event listing speakers, music, and readings in sequence.
- Celebration of life A more informal gathering focusing on stories and photos rather than ritualized ceremony.
- Obituary A written announcement with biographical details and service information.
- RSVP This means please respond and is often used on invitations to confirm attendance.
Frequently asked questions
How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous
Begin with your name and your relationship to the deceased. A short line like Hi, I am [Your Name] and I was [Name] godbrother gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.
What if I cry and cannot continue
Pause and breathe. Look at your notes and take a slow sip of water. If you need a break ask a family member to finish a final sentence. Many people stop and then continue. The audience will wait and they understand.
Can I use humor in a eulogy for a godbrother
Yes. Small earned humor is often welcome. Use stories that show personality and avoid jokes that could embarrass someone present. Follow a light joke with a sincere line to reconnect emotionally.
How do I write about a complicated relationship
Be honest without being harsh. Acknowledge complexity and focus on what you learned or moments of reconciliation. You do not need to air private grievances in public.
Should I include a religious reading if the family is not religious
Only if it was meaningful to your godbrother or to close family members. If religion was not central choose a secular poem, lyric, or personal memory that fits the tone. Ask the officiant if you are unsure.
How long should I take when speaking
Two to six minutes is a good target. Coordinate with other speakers so the service stays on schedule and everyone who wants to speak can do so.
Being asked to give a eulogy is an honour, but it can feel daunting when you are grieving. This guide offers a calm, step by step process so you are not starting from a blank page alone.
You will learn how to:
- Gather memories with simple prompts.
- Shape them into a clear structure.
- Choose wording that sounds like you when read aloud.
What is inside: short outlines, prompts, example eulogies and delivery tips to support you from first notes to final reading.
Perfect for: family, friends and colleagues who want to honour a loved one with sincere, manageable words.