Writing a eulogy for your girlfriend feels impossible and necessary at the same time. You want to honor her, say something true, and get through the moment without everything falling apart. This guide gives you a clear method, real examples you can adapt, language for different situations, and practical advice for delivery. We explain terms you might not know and include templates so you can start writing right away.
We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.
That is why we created a simple step by step eulogy writing guide. It gently walks you through what to include, how to shape your thoughts, and how to feel more prepared when the moment comes. → Find Out More
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- Who this guide is for
- What is a eulogy
- How long should your eulogy be
- Before you start writing
- Structure that works
- How to write the opening
- Writing the life sketch
- Anecdotes that actually matter
- Addressing complicated relationships
- When death is sudden or traumatic
- Using humor the right way
- What to avoid
- Full eulogy examples you can adapt
- Example 1 Simple and tender three minute version
- Example 2 Short modern tribute under two minutes
- Example 3 Complicated relationship honest and respectful
- Example 4 Celebration of life tone with humor and warmth
- Fill in the blank templates
- Practical tips for delivery
- When tears come
- Including readings poems and music
- Logistics and who to tell
- After the eulogy
- Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Frequently asked questions
Who this guide is for
This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about their girlfriend at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or small gathering. Maybe you were the person she called at midnight. Maybe you were not together for long. Maybe the relationship was complicated. Any of that is okay. There are sample scripts for tender, funny, short, and complicated needs. We keep the voice casual and real because grief is messy and you should not have to be perfect to honor someone you loved.
What is a eulogy
A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It is usually part of a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is not the same thing as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that shares basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is personal. It is a story or a series of memories. It does not have to be polished to be meaningful.
Terms you might see
- Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes bio facts and service information.
- Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
- Celebration of life An alternative to a traditional funeral that focuses on stories, photos, and a less formal tone.
- Pallbearer Someone who helps carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can take place at home or in a facility.
- RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait. It asks people to confirm attendance for an event.
- LGBTQ Stands for lesbian gay bisexual transgender and queer. It is often used when talking about relationships and identity. If some letters are unfamiliar to you each stands for a part of a community people belong to.
How long should your eulogy be
Short and clear is generally better than long and unfocused. Aim for about three to seven minutes. That translates to roughly 400 to 800 spoken words. If you are nervous about crying, a two minute heartfelt tribute is more powerful than a long speech that loses focus.
Before you start writing
Preparation helps you say what matters instead of spinning. Use this quick plan to gather material and decide on tone.
- Ask about time and tone Check with the family or the officiant about how long you should speak and whether the service is formal or casual.
- Collect memories Ask friends and family for one memory each. Write down nicknames, favorite foods, routines, and things she was known for.
- Choose three focus points Pick three things you want people to leave remembering. For example kindness humor stubbornness or the way she loved music. Three points give your speech a simple shape.
- Decide how personal to be If your relationship had private elements you do not want public consider keeping the eulogy focused on shared memories and what people in the room will remember.
Structure that works
Use a simple structure so you can stay focused under pressure. Here is a shape that works well.
- Opening Say who you are and how you knew her. Give a single line that sets the tone.
- Life sketch A brief overview of who she was in roles like partner friend coworker or artist. Keep facts short and human.
- Anecdotes Tell one or two specific stories that show her character. Keep them short and sensory so listeners can picture the moment.
- What she taught you Summarize the lessons or traits she passed on. Concrete examples help this land.
- Closing Offer a goodbye line a quote or a call to action like lighting a candle or sharing a memory.
How to write the opening
The opening is your landing pad. Do not overthink it. Start with your name and how you fit into her life then say one clear sentence about what she meant to you or to the room. Practice this opening a few times until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.
Opening examples
- Hi I am Alex. I was Mia s partner for three years. Today I want to say how she made ordinary Wednesdays feel like an event.
- Hello everyone I am Jordan. I loved Sam with a stubborn kind of love. I want to share a few small things about who she was and why she mattered to us.
- Good afternoon I am Taylor. I am here as Jamie s girlfriend and as someone who learned how to laugh louder because of her.
Writing the life sketch
The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that serve the story you are telling. Dates are optional. Focus on roles that mattered to her and to you.
Life sketch templates
- [Name] grew up in [place]. She worked as [job] and loved [hobby]. She was a daughter sister friend and a partner who could fix any playlist and any broken mood.
- [Name] moved to [city] when she was [life stage]. She had a soft spot for [thing] and a fierce streak when it came to standing up for people she loved.
Anecdotes that actually matter
Stories are what people remember. Pick one or two short moments that reveal character. A good story has a small setup an action and then a line that tells why it matters.
Short anecdote examples
- She insisted on making pancakes whenever someone was sad. One night after a terrible day she showed up with pancakes candles and a playlist that made us dance in the kitchen at midnight.
- She kept a terrible fake plant at her desk to remind herself not to take everything too seriously. She named it Captain Resilience and made coworkers give it a motivational speech on Fridays.
- When our flight was delayed she turned the gate into a party with a portable speaker and a ridiculous karaoke version of our song. She could find joy in waiting rooms and in storms.
Addressing complicated relationships
Not all relationships are tidy. If your relationship with your girlfriend had tension you can still speak honestly without oversharing. Acknowledge complexity and the things you learned or the ways you grew. You do not need to air private fights in public. A short honest line is often more powerful than a long explanation.
Examples for complicated relationships
- We fought about small things until we did not. Our last conversation was quiet and real and I am grateful for that chance to say I forgive you and I am sorry.
- She could be stubborn and intense. Those qualities also made her a fierce ally and a protector for the people she loved.
- We were young when we met and messy together. The messy parts taught me how to love and how to set boundaries. I would not trade the lessons for anything.
When death is sudden or traumatic
If your girlfriend died suddenly or by suicide you will probably want to be particularly careful with language. You do not need to give graphic details. It is okay to say that the death was unexpected and to ask for privacy around certain facts. If the death was by suicide it is safe to say that she died by suicide if the family has agreed. Use direct language and avoid euphemisms that can cause confusion. You can also include resources at the end of your remarks for people who are struggling.
Using humor the right way
Humor can feel like permission to breathe when grief is thick. Use small earned jokes that reveal something true about her. Avoid humor that might embarrass or exclude people in the room.
Safe humor examples
- She named our cat like she named her playlists serious business and it worked every time.
- She had a rule that if you could not cook you had to do the dishes. She was serious about her rules and strangely proud of our compliance.
What to avoid
- Avoid turning the eulogy into a family therapy session or a place to settle scores.
- Avoid reading long lists of achievements without stories to make them human.
- Avoid gossip and private details that could hurt people present.
- Avoid cliches unless you follow them with a specific detail that makes them true.
Full eulogy examples you can adapt
Below are complete examples that you can steal and personalize. Replace bracketed text with your details and read them out loud to see how they feel.
Example 1 Simple and tender three minute version
Hello I am Sam and I was Nora s girlfriend. I want to say one thing about Nora that I think captures who she was. She made people feel chosen. Whether you were a stranger at a party or a friend in a bad season she had a way of making you the person she was listening to in that exact moment.
Nora grew up in Seattle and worked as a graphic designer. She loved thrift store finds late night tacos and terrible reality TV. One small memory that shows the kind of person she was is a Tuesday night when I had an awful day. She picked me up without asking packed a bag of her favorite snacks and drove to the river so we could sit and talk until the sky went dark. That is who she was she made space for things that mattered and for things that felt small but true.
She taught me how to be quieter when someone needs space and how to be louder when someone does not speak up. I will miss her laugh her stubborn playlist choices and the way she made ordinary moments feel like a promise. Thank you for being here and for holding her memory with us.
Example 2 Short modern tribute under two minutes
Hi I am Luis. I loved Maya for her terrible puns her famous guacamole and the way she cheered the loudest at my smallest wins. She made home feel like a combination of messy optimism and excellent snacks. I will miss her every single day and I am grateful for the time we had. Please sing the bad karaoke songs in her honor later. She would expect nothing less.
Example 3 Complicated relationship honest and respectful
My name is Rachel. My relationship with Hannah was not simple. We had fights that felt endless and reconciliations that felt like careful rebuilding. She pushed me to be braver and she asked me to be honest even when I did not want to be. In her last months we had long talks about things we never finished. Those talks gave me closure I did not know I needed. I am thankful for that and I am thankful for the stubborn love she showed when it mattered most.
Example 4 Celebration of life tone with humor and warmth
Hi everyone I am Mark her partner. If you ever met Jessie you know she had two rules in life. Rule one was be kind to delivery drivers. Rule two was never microwave fish at work. She had a huge heart and a very specific set of boundaries about smells. We will miss her kindness her exacting playlists and the way she made everything feel like a small adventure. Today we celebrate everything she gave us and we plan to break rule two just this once in her honor.
Fill in the blank templates
Use these templates and then edit to sound like you. Read them out loud and trim anything that feels forced.
Template A Classic short
My name is [Your Name]. I was [Partner s Name] girlfriend. [Partner s Name] loved [one hobby], worked as [job], and was the person who [small habit]. One memory that shows who she was is [brief story]. She taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our loved ones.
Template B For complicated relationships
My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Partner s Name] was complicated. We had fights about [small example] and we made up in ways that mattered. In the end we found [a quiet place of understanding a final peace]. If I could say one thing to her now it would be [short line you want to say].
Template C Light and funny
Hi I am [Your Name]. To know [Partner s Name] was to know [quirky habit]. She also made sure we learned [practical life skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. I will miss her [funny trait] and the way she made life better in small practical ways.
Practical tips for delivery
Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics help you stay steady.
- Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to manage when emotions are high.
- Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines reduce the chance of losing your place.
- Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup.
- Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend a mirror or to your dog. Practicing lets your voice get familiar with the words.
- Bring tissues and water Keep a handkerchief in your pocket and a small bottle of water nearby.
- Arrange a back up If you think you will not get through it ask a friend or family member to stand by to finish a line if needed.
- Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If there is no mic project to the back row calmly and deliberately.
When tears come
If you cry that is okay. Pause look down at your notes and breathe. Slow down your speaking rate and allow the room to be quiet. The audience will wait. If you cannot continue a friend can step in to finish a sentence. Saying fewer words more slowly often carries more meaning than pushing through at speed.
Including readings poems and music
Short excerpts work best. If you want to include a poem pick a two to four line excerpt rather than a long poem. Readings can be religious or secular. Confirm with the officiant and print the text in the program if possible.
Music tips
- Pick songs she loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
- If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing recorded tracks between speakers.
- Keep music short and place it where it supports the speech for example before the eulogy or as a brief interlude after a key moment.
Logistics and who to tell
- Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or a music cue.
- Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
- Give a copy of your speech to the person running the service in case they need the text for the program or for timing.
After the eulogy
People will likely ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family and friends. Some families request that the eulogy be included in a printed program or a memory book. You can also record the audio and share it privately. If the death was by suicide consider including crisis resources in any shared note for people who might be struggling.
Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
- Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
- Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
- Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on stories photos and shared memories.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life.
- RSVP Short for respond s il vous plait which asks people to confirm attendance.
- LGBTQ Stands for lesbian gay bisexual transgender and queer. This acronym describes communities related to sexual orientation and gender identity.
Frequently asked questions
How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous
Begin with your name and your relationship to the person. A short opening like Hi I am [Your Name] and I was [Her Name] girlfriend gives context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.
What if I forget my place or start crying
Pause breathe and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue ask a designated friend or family member to finish for you. Having a printed copy that someone else can read helps in this scenario.
Should I include religious language if the family is not religious
Only if it was meaningful to your girlfriend or the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories. You can include a short poem or reading that reflects what she believed instead of prayer language.
Can I use humor in a eulogy
Yes small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes that are based on real kind memories and run them by a trusted friend to make sure they land. Avoid humor that might embarrass someone in the room.
How long should a eulogy be
Aim for three to seven minutes. That usually translates to 400 to 800 spoken words. Short focused remarks are typically more memorable than long unfocused speeches.
Is it okay to read the eulogy from my phone
Yes you can read from your phone but make sure the device will not ring and that the screen is bright enough in the venue. Many people prefer paper or index cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high.
What if the death was by suicide should I say that out loud
If the family has agreed it is okay to say the person died by suicide use clear direct language. Avoid euphemisms that can create confusion. If the family prefers privacy respect that. If you do mention suicide consider providing crisis resources in any public posting or memory page.
How should I share the eulogy afterwards
Ask the family before posting online. Some families want privacy. If sharing is approved include a short note about where donations if any are being directed and how people can add memories.