How to Write a Eulogy for Your Friend - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Saying goodbye to a friend is messy and necessary at the same time. You want to honor them, tell the small stories that feel true, and get through speaking in front of people who loved them too. This guide walks you through a simple structure, gives real example eulogies you can adapt, explains terms you might not know, and offers practical delivery tips that actually help. Read through, pick a template, and start writing with confidence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone tasked with speaking about a friend at a funeral, memorial, graveside service, or celebration of life. Maybe you were the person who knew their secret nickname or maybe you were simply chosen because you can stand up and talk without turning it into therapy. Maybe your friendship was brief or messy or the kind that lasted decades. There are examples for short, funny, sentimental, and complicated situations.

What is a eulogy for a friend

A eulogy is a short speech delivered at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who died. When the subject is a friend your tone can be playful, raw, or quiet. A eulogy is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written public notice that usually lists basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service information. A eulogy is personal. A eulogy tells a story that helps people remember who your friend was.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written announcement of a death. It often includes biographical facts and service details. It lives in newspapers and online.
• Order of service The schedule for the funeral or memorial listing readings, songs, and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on stories, photos, and memory rather than strict ritual.
• Officiant The person leading the service. This could be a clergy person, a funeral director, or a friend who agreed to guide the event.
• RSVP Abbreviation for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy for a friend be

Short and focused is strong. Aim for two to six minutes. That usually translates to roughly 300 to 700 spoken words. If several people are speaking, check with the family or the officiant about a time limit so the service stays on schedule. Remember that fewer well chosen words are more memorable and easier to deliver when you are grieving.

Before you start writing

Spend a little time collecting material. The right prep saves you from second guessing while you write.

• Ask about time and tone Confirm how long you should speak and whether the family prefers solemn or celebratory remarks.
• Gather memories Text a few mutual friends for one memory each. Short stories make a eulogy vivid.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about your friend. Three points give your speech shape and make writing easier.
• Decide on humor Decide if you will use jokes. Small earned laughs can be permission to breathe but avoid anything that might embarrass people there.

Structure that works

Good structure gives you permission to be simple. Use this shape to build your speech quickly.

• Opening Say who you are and your connection to the deceased. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a short overview of the friend s life and roles. Keep it brief and relevant.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two specific stories that reveal personality. Stories are the heartbeat.
• Meaning and traits Say what people will miss and what your friend taught others.
• Closing End with a simple goodbye line, a short quote, or an invitation to a memory activity like lighting a candle.

How to open your eulogy

Start with your name and your relationship to the friend. That gives listeners immediate context and buys you a breath to settle.

Opening examples

• Hi, I m Alex and I have been Sam s friend since college. Sam taught all of us how to make bad decisions and love the people we chose.
• Hello, I m Jenna. I met Maya at a coffee shop and she became my chosen family. Today we remember how she sold out concert halls with her laugh.
• Good afternoon. I m Marcus. I was Luis s work buddy and his Thursday dinner partner. He made every meal feel like a party.

Writing the life sketch

The life sketch is a short biography built to support your stories. You do not need to list every job. Highlight the roles that mattered to your friend s identity and to your relationship.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place] and moved to [city] where they worked as [job] and collected friends like albums. They loved [hobby] and were known for [quirky detail].
• [Name] was the kind of friend who would [small habit]. They cared about [value] and never missed a chance to [favorite thing].

Anecdotes that actually stick

People remember stories. Pick short moments with sensory details and a payoff line that explains why the moment matters.

Examples of short anecdotes

• At our first road trip they insisted on packing two inflatable flamingos because reasons. We drove 300 miles and they became our highway mascots. That ridiculousness is a tiny example of how they turned every plan into a party.
• When my lease fell through they showed up at midnight with a pizza box and a spare key. That was their signature move. They would show up and make things livable again.
• They had a ritual of texting a heart emoji at midnight to check in. It was small and it mattered. Those tiny checks were how you knew you were never alone.

What to say if your friendship was complicated

Not every friendship is picture perfect. You can speak honestly and still be respectful. Acknowledge complexity without dragging private pain into a public room.

Examples for complicated friendships

• We had periods when we did not speak. We also had moments that taught me how to forgive faster. That messy truth is part of what made our bond real.
• They could be selfish and generous at the same time. I am grateful for the times they surprised me by stepping up. That surprise is a memory I will hold.
• We fought about boundaries. We fixed what we could and left other things raw. I am thankful for the honesty we eventually found.

Using humor without stepping on toes

Humor is permission to breathe but use it carefully. Choose jokes that come from your real relationship and avoid anything that would embarrass family members or single out someone in the audience.

Safe humor examples

• They had a legendary late night cereal routine. If you know them you know the brand and the secret method which I will not reveal here out of respect for breakfast laws.
• They called themselves the human GPS because they refused to ask for directions. We never lost them completely even when the car did.

What to avoid

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a family argument. This is not the place for unresolved disputes.
• Avoid overly personal or private details that would make people uncomfortable.
• Avoid long lists of achievements without a story that makes them human.
• Avoid cliche lines unless you immediately make them specific and true.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and tweak the tone to match the event.

Example 1 Short and tender two minute eulogy

Hi everyone. I m Priya and I was Sam s friend for twelve years. Sam was the person who would show up with a spare umbrella and an offer to listen even if you did not know what you needed to say. They loved old movies and knew every obscure quote by heart. One small memory that says everything is the time my car broke down and Sam arrived with hot coffee and a mixtape of songs to make the wait less lonely. That is who they were. Always showing up, usually with coffee. I will miss them fiercely and I will try to be the kind of friend they were to everyone in this room. Thank you.

Example 2 Funny and celebratory three to four minute eulogy

Hello. I m Nate. If you met Jordan once you probably left with a laugh and a bag of questionable snacks they swore were gourmet. Jordan had two rules: never leave the party too early and always judge bad dance moves with love. There is no better proof of that than the time they staged a spontaneous living room concert at two a m complete with a kazoo solo. It was ridiculous and beautifully them. Beyond the chaos was a generosity of spirit. Jordan could make you feel seen with a text that said you re not alone, even when you barely knew what to say. We will miss the noise and the warmth. Let s celebrate that noise today and tell one loud Jordan story after this is over.

Example 3 For a complicated friendship, honest and respectful

My name is Lila. My friendship with Tom was not always easy. We had seasons of silence and seasons of closeness. He could be blunt and he could also be softer than he let on. In the last few years we reconnected over small things like Sunday walks and terrible takeout. He taught me how to accept imperfect people and how to ask for help. I am grateful for those late conversations. I will remember his stubborn loyalty and the way he defended his friends with a fierceness that sometimes surprised even him. Thank you Tom for the lessons and for the forgiveness.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates as starting points. Fill them in and then edit until the voice feels like you.

Template A Classic short friend eulogy

My name is [Your Name]. I was [Friend s Name] friend for [years]. [Friend s Name] loved [hobby or small habit] and was best known for [quirky trait]. One memory that captures them is [short story]. They taught me [lesson]. I will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here to remember [Friend s Name].

Template B Funny and light

Hi I m [Your Name]. If you ever met [Friend s Name] you know they had a rule about [funny rule]. They kept everyone laughing and somehow always had snacks. My favorite memory is [funny story]. Today we laugh and cry and remember the joy they brought. I will miss their jokes and their bets on who would finally learn to cook properly.

Template C Complicated friendship

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Friend s Name] was layered. We did not always agree. We argued about [small example]. Over time I learned [positive lesson]. In their final months we [reconnected had honest talks found closure]. If I could say one thing now it would be [short line you want to say].

Practical delivery tips

Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics will keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use a large font. Paper is easier to manage when emotions are high.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with a line or two on each card reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket or the word breathe where you want to take a breath or expect a laugh. Pauses give you time to collect yourself.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, to a mirror, or to your dog. Speaking it once or twice makes your throat less surprised on the day.
• Bring tissues and water Soft tissues and a small bottle of water are helpful. If your voice cracks slow down and breathe.
• Arrange a backup If you think you might not finish the speech have a friend ready to finish one or two lines for you.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If there is no mic project to the back row by opening your chest and slowing your words.

What to do if you cry or forget your place

If tears come that is okay. Pause, breathe, look down at your notes, and then continue. If your voice breaks let the silence hold the room for a beat and then continue. If you forget your place jump to your next clear sentence. People will wait and they want you to succeed.

Including readings, poems, and music

Short readings work best. Consider a two to four line excerpt from a poem instead of a long piece. Choose songs that meant something to your friend or that match the tone of the event. Confirm with the officiant and provide printed text in the program when possible. Place music where it supports the speech for example as an interlude before the eulogy or a quiet track after a powerful line.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director or the venue if you need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Share your speech with a family member who might want a copy for a memory book.

After the eulogy

People will likely ask for a copy. Offer to email it to interested family and friends. Families often include the eulogy in printed programs or a memorial scrapbook. Recording the audio privately can comfort loved ones who could not attend. Ask permission before posting any recording online.

Checklist before you speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech and bring a backup copy.
• Practice aloud at least twice.
• Mark emotional beats and pauses in your copy.
• Bring tissues and water and arrange a backup speaker if needed.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice about a death that usually includes service details and biographical facts.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral listing readings, speakers, and music.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering focusing on storytelling and memory.
• Officiant The person leading the service. They may be clergy, a funeral director, or a trusted friend.
• RSVP An abbreviation asking guests to confirm attendance so hosts can plan.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to the friend. A short opening like Hi, I m [Your Name] and I was [Friend s Name] friend gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels comfortable. That small ritual steadies you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or cry

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you cannot continue have a designated friend ready to finish a line or two. Most people understand and want to help. Remember that pauses and tears are part of the room. Slow down and speak fewer words rather than racing to fill silence.

Can I use humor in a friend s eulogy

Yes. Small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes that are rooted in a real story and test them with a trusted friend. Avoid anything that might embarrass family members or single out someone in the audience. Follow a laugh with a sincere line to reconnect the tone.

How long should my eulogy be

Two to six minutes is a good target. Short speeches are easier to deliver and often more memorable. If multiple people will speak coordinate with the family or officiant so everyone stays within the planned schedule.

What if I was not close to the friend but was asked to speak

Be honest. Say who you were and describe the friendship you had. You can focus on one or two truthful observations about their character and what those moments taught you. Authenticity matters more than length.

Is it okay to read the eulogy from a phone

Yes but make sure your screen will be visible in the venue and that the device will not ring. Many people prefer printed paper or index cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high. If you use a phone set it to do not disturb and enlarge the text.

Can I include a poem or song in my eulogy

Yes. Short excerpts from poems work well. Choose music that was meaningful to your friend or that supports the tone. Confirm with the officiant and provide printed text in the program when possible.

Should I give a copy of the eulogy to the family or funeral home

Yes. Providing a copy helps the officiant and makes it easy to include the text in a program or memory book. Families often appreciate a written version for sentimental keepsakes.