How to Write a Eulogy for Your Flatmate - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Losing a flatmate is complicated in a way that is practical and emotional at the same time. You might have shared bills, late night snacks, messy dishes, and big life moments. You might have been chosen family. Speaking about someone who shared a home with you can feel deeply personal and oddly public. This guide gives you a clear method to write a eulogy that is honest, useful, and full of real moments. We explain terms you might not know, give templates you can copy, and show examples for every kind of roommate relationship.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a flatmate at a funeral memorial celebration of life or a gathering with friends. Maybe you were the person who found them. Maybe you were their closest friend in the city. Maybe you lived with them for a few months during a big life shift. There are sample scripts for short tributes messy relationships funny remembrances and sober reflections.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a speech that honors a person who has died. It usually appears during a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a published notice with dates and service details. A eulogy is personal. It is a story. It is allowed to be imperfect.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A published notice that announces a death and usually includes basic biographical details and service information.
• Order of service The program for a funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events and speakers.
• Celebration of life A less formal event that focuses on stories music photos and personal memories.
• Officiant The person leading the ceremony. They may be religious or secular.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. This might be family or close friends and sometimes flatmates are chosen if they were important people in the deceased person s daily life.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort for someone near the end of life. Hospice care can happen at home or in a facility.
• F.O.R.M An acronym you can use to gather memories. It stands for Family Occupation Recreation Motivation. Occupation here means work and daily routines.

Why writing a eulogy for a flatmate feels different

Flatmates exist in a practical bubble. You share routines bills and small rituals. Those small rituals are often what people remember. That means your eulogy can be both tender and useful. You can talk about the way they made coffee at 6 a.m. the exact place they always left their keys or the emergency playlist they played when everyone needed a lift. Those details are accessible and meaningful to the people who lived nearby and to friends who did not live at the same address.

Before you start writing

First steps make everything easier. Use this plan.

• Ask about time Check with the family or officiant how long you are expected to speak and where your words fit in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want to be candid funny tender or all of the above? Touch base with the family and with other friends who will speak so the tone fits the person.
• Gather material Talk to friends other flatmates and family for one or two memories each. Make a short list of small details and one or two longer anecdotes.
• Choose three focus points Pick up to three things you want people to remember. That could be their laugh their generosity a daily ritual or an important lesson they taught you.
• Respect privacy Do not air private details that could harm others. If the death involves sensitive circumstances check with a close family member before sharing factual specifics in public.

Structure that works

Good structure keeps you on track and keeps listeners with you. Use this simple shape.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to the flatmate. Offer one clear sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a short overview of who they were beyond the flat. Talk about their work family hobbies or personal values.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two meaningful stories from the shared home life. Short sensory details work best.
• What they taught you Summarize a few traits or lessons they offered. Keep it concrete.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line a short quote a call to remember them in a small action like playing a playlist or lighting a candle.

How to pick stories that land

People remember moments more than lists. Pick stories with a small setup an action and a clear meaning. For flatmates small stories are powerful. A cooled coffee ritual a care note stuck on the fridge or the way they rescued stray plants tells a lot about who they were.

What makes a good flatmate anecdote

• It is short and specific
• It reveals character
• It ends with a clear point about why the story matters

Examples of strong opening lines

• Hi I am Alex. I lived with Jamie for three years and I want to tell you about the small ways they fixed the day for everyone in the flat.
• Hello everyone. My name is Priya and I was Sam s flatmate. Sam taught me how to make the best emergency pasta and how to say sorry without drama.
• I am Marcus. For the last year I shared a tiny kitchen and a lot of late night playlists with Noor. Today I will say two things about her that I think you will recognise.

Eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples tailored to different flatmate relationships. Replace bracketed text with your details and read them out loud to make sure they sound like you.

Example 1 Short and practical two to three minutes

Hello. I am Jess and I lived with Tom for two years. Tom was the friend who never let an empty milk carton survive the weekend. He had a way of making every small failure feel fixable. He worked nights at the bakery and still made time to bring us warm bread when we were sick. One small story. The first week I moved in the kettle broke and Tom dismantled it with a screwdriver and a YouTube tutorial until it boiled again. That is how he lived. He took things apart and put them back together and he did that for people too. We will miss his ridiculous tea mugs and his habit of leaving sticky notes with song recommendations. If you want to remember Tom tonight play one of his playlists and make a cup of tea. Thank you.

Example 2 Funny and affectionate three to four minutes

Hi everyone. I am Natalie. I was Sam s flatmate and Sam believed in three things. Good socks a fearsome karaoke voice and the rule that you could not have chips unless you promised to share. Sam could fill a room with noise and then be the person who noticed you had a cold and left soup on your doorstep. One memory. We had a fire alarm false alarm at 3 a.m. and Sam grabbed a towel a ukulele and led us all in a badly tuned rendition of a pop song while we stood on the street in our pajamas. That was so Sam. Loud messy and strangely comforting. Sam taught me how to turn chaos into company. We will miss the noise the snacks and the way Sam treated every night like a potential story. Thank you for being here.

Example 3 Complicated relationship honest real and kind

Hello. My name is Omar and I shared a flat with Riley for a year. We were not always friends. We argued about dishes we argued about rent and sometimes we did not speak for days. Even so Riley could be unbearably generous. When my grandmother was sick Riley took my shifts without complaining. In the end we were not perfect flatmates but we were family in the way that chosen family is messy and essential. If I could say one thing to Riley now I would say thank you for that late night text the one that said you would be there if I needed you. I will carry that. Thank you.

Example 4 For a flatmate who was chosen family and lived with chronic illness

I am Mia. I lived with Alex for five years. Alex had a quiet courage. They navigated a lot of pain with humor and stubborn kindness. Alex taught us how to make a house feel like a safe place. The Saturday ritual of tea and the way they always left a light on in the living room were both practical and soulful. One memory. When the oxygen machine stopped working Alex called the provider then made tea and asked me to sit with them and listen to a podcast about ridiculous animals. They wanted normal even when things were hard. Alex showed us how to be present. We will miss that consistency the late night talks and the way they gave the best gif replies in a crisis. Thank you for being here and for holding them in your heart.

Templates you can copy and edit

Fill in the blanks and then edit to match your voice. Read the final version out loud and cut anything that feels forced.

Template A Short and warm

My name is [Your Name]. I lived with [Flatmate Name] for [time]. [Flatmate Name] loved [hobby or quirk]. One small memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for holding [Flatmate Name] with us.

Template B Honest and direct

Hello I am [Your Name]. My relationship with [Flatmate Name] was real and sometimes hard. We argued about [small example]. Still there were moments of care like [story]. If I could tell them one thing now it would be [short direct line].

Template C Short funny tribute

Hi I am [Your Name]. To know [Flatmate Name] was to know they would label the leftovers and then eat them like it did not matter. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. They made our flat feel alive and ridiculous. We will miss the laughter and the snacks. Thank you.

How to handle sensitive causes of death

When the death involves substance use suicide or legal matters be careful. You are allowed to be honest without offering details that could hurt family members. If the family asks you to avoid specifics follow their wishes. If you are unsure ask a close family member or the officiant. You can focus on the person their kindness and the community they built rather than the method of dying.

Practical delivery tips

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is less likely to slip when emotions are high.
• Use cue cards Short index cards with one or two lines are easy to manage and help you keep your place.
• Mark pauses Put visible marks where you want to breathe or where others may laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read to a friend a mirror or a plant. Practicing helps your throat and your emotions settle.
• Bring tissues and water A glass of water is allowed and helpful. Tissues are obviously useful.
• Have a backup Ask a friend or family member to be ready to step in if you cannot finish. A short hand gesture can be your signal.
• If you are angry Pause and breathe. Anger is a valid emotion but a funeral is not usually the place to resolve ongoing conflicts. You can speak honestly about hurt while staying focused on memories and lessons.

When flatmates want to speak together

Speaking as a group can be powerful. If multiple flatmates will speak coordinate who covers what so you do not repeat stories. One person can give the opening another can tell a story and another can close with a short line or a song suggestion. Practice the transitions once so they feel natural.

Including readings music and rituals

Short readings work well. A poem excerpt of a few lines or a small quote can be powerful. Music can be a recorded track a live guitar or a playlist that the flatmate loved. If you plan to play music confirm with the officiant and the venue what is allowed. A simple ritual you might suggest is for everyone to light a candle in memory or to add a memory to a jar that will be given to the family later.

Logistics practicalities and who to tell

There are a few practical things you will need to handle or be aware of after a flatmate dies.

• Notify the landlord or building manager If you are the one living at the address call the landlord or building manager and let them know. They will tell you about keys access and any immediate concerns.
• Secure belongings Keep the flatmate s personal items safe. Family members may want to collect them. Do not throw things away until you have spoken with a close family member or the executor of the estate.
• Bills and utilities Check who is responsible for rent utilities and subscriptions. Inform the landlord and service providers as needed.
• Mail and packages Forward mail if the family asks. Do not open mail addressed to the deceased unless you have permission.
• Support for other flatmates Grief can show up as anger guilt or numbness. Encourage each other to check in and to take time off work if needed.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid turning the speech into a list of chores or a rant about unpaid rent. If you need to address practical grievances talk privately with family or the estate executor.
• Avoid sharing private medical details without family permission.
• Avoid jokes that single out or shame people in the room.
• Avoid long boresome lists of jobs and dates without stories that make the person human.

Recording sharing and privacy

Ask permission before posting a recording online. Some families want privacy. If you do share get consent and add a short note about the context. Consider sharing audio or text with a closed group instead of public posting.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A short speech given at a funeral memorial or gathering to honor the person who died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death and usually including service details.
• Order of service The program for a funeral or memorial that lists the sequence of events.
• Officiant The person leading the ceremony.
• Executor The person named in a will to manage the deceased person s estate.
• Celebration of life A less formal event that focuses on personal memories stories and photos rather than religious ritual.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for people nearing the end of life. Hospice care can happen at home or in a facility.
• F.O.R.M A memory prompt that stands for Family Occupation Recreation Motivation. Use it to gather quick stories about someone s life and daily routine.

Frequently asked questions

How long should a eulogy for a flatmate be

Aim for two to five minutes. That is usually about 300 to 700 spoken words. Short focused memories are often more meaningful than a long exhaustive list.

What if I was not close to the flatmate

You can still speak. Introduce yourself and explain your relationship honestly. Share one small true memory or a short reflection on what you observed about them. It is okay to be brief and respectful.

Can I mention renting or money issues

Be careful. Practical issues like unpaid rent are usually better handled privately with the family or the executor. The eulogy is a space to remember the person not to settle disputes.

How do I handle a death that is controversial or involves drug use

Follow the family s wishes about details. You can focus on the person s character and the good they did for others. If you feel compelled to speak about addiction choose compassionate language and avoid blame.

Should I include a practical action at the end

Yes. Inviting people to play a song to remember the flatmate to donate to a cause they cared about or to write a memory on a card are all simple ways to close the eulogy and involve the audience.

Is it okay to use humor

Yes humor can be healing. Use small earned jokes rooted in true stories and avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members.