How to Write a Eulogy for Your First Cousin - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Being asked to speak about your first cousin can feel oddly intimate and hard at the same time. Cousins sit somewhere between family and friend for many of us. You might have shared sleepovers, family reunions, road trips, or the text thread that never dies. This guide gives you a clear plan to write a eulogy that fits the tone you want, examples you can adapt, and practical tips for delivering it when emotions are raw. We explain terms you might not know and give fill in the blank templates you can use right away.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about a first cousin at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or virtual gathering. Maybe your cousin was effectively a sibling, maybe you were casual friends, or maybe you were estranged. All of those relationships can be honored with honesty and care. There are sample scripts for short, funny, somber, and complicated needs.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It is usually part of a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is not an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that gives facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is personal. It shares memories, stories, and reflection.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and funeral arrangements.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing readings, music, and speakers.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. They are often close family or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life near the end of life.
• RSVP Stands for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It appears on invitations when hosts want a head count.
• Eulogy length This refers to the time you plan to speak. Check with the family or officiant so you know how many minutes you have.

How long should a eulogy for a cousin be

Three to seven minutes is a good target for most eulogies. That usually translates to about 400 to 800 spoken words. If there are several speakers aim for shorter remarks so the service stays on schedule. Short and focused is often more powerful than long and rambling.

Before you start writing

Spend a little time getting organized. Use this quick plan to collect what you need.

• Ask about time Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
• Decide tone Pick whether the tone will be reflective, funny, celebratory, tearful, or a mix. Check with close family so the tone fits the person and the audience.
• Gather material Collect nicknames, small stories, favorite songs, habits, and any phrases your cousin used a lot. Ask other cousins or friends for a memory each.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about your cousin. Three focus points give the speech shape and keep it simple.

Structure that works

A simple structure lets you tell a story people can hold onto. Use this shape.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to the cousin. Add a single sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of your cousin s life roles like sibling friend partner worker hobbyist or community member.
• Anecdotes Share one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep each story to a few sentences and end with why it mattered.
• What we will miss Summarize the traits or habits people will remember.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short quote, or a gentle call to action like lighting a candle or sharing a memory after the service.

How to choose what to say about a cousin

Cousin relationships vary widely. Some cousins are like best friends. Some are family you only see at holidays. Pick specifics. Tell the audience one image they can hold in their mind. Small sensory details help. For example say the way they always showed up with bad takeout and worse jokes or the way they lined up songs for a road trip like a playlist DJ.

Ask yourself

• What small habit captures their personality?
• What memory makes me smile even now?
• What did they teach me about life or love?

Anecdotes that work

Stories are the heart of a eulogy. Keep them short and specific. Structure each story with a setup an action and a payoff line that explains why it matters.

Examples of short anecdotes

• At every family reunion they took charge of the playlist and somehow managed to make everyone dance even the crankiest aunt. That was their superpower.
• One summer they taught me how to fix a bike chain in five minutes flat. They were impatient with excuses and kind with time.
• They knew everyone s birthday and sent a goofy voice message the night before. You never felt forgotten with them around.

Examples of different tones

Example 1: Short and tender about a cousin who felt like a sibling

Hello everyone. My name is Jordan and I am Mia s first cousin. Growing up Mia and I were inseparable. We shared a bunk bed a terrible sense of fashion and the same stubborn smile. She was the person I called when I needed honesty and the person who would show up at midnight with ramen when nothing else made sense. Mia taught me to be brave enough to try and kind enough to apologize. I will miss the sound of her laugh and the way she always knew when to start a song on the drive home. Thank you for being here to remember her with us.

Example 2: Funny and warm for a cousin with a big personality

Hi everyone. I m Sam and I am Luke s cousin. If you ever met Luke you know his two favorite things were an over loud laugh and undercooked barbecue. He could turn a grocery run into a stand up routine and he believed every playlist was incomplete without a guilty pleasure track. Luke taught us to take life less seriously and to never pass up an opportunity for dessert. Today we laugh and we cry because he made room for both.

Example 3: Complicated relationship handled with honesty

My name is Priya. I am Rohit s cousin. Rohit and I were not the closest growing up. We had different circles and different cities. In recent years we found each other again over late night texts and terrible coffee. The last month we spent talking about the small things we had missed. I am grateful for that second chance. I will remember his willingness to forgive and the way he could make a stranger feel like family in five minutes flat.

Example 4: Young death with grief and gratitude

Hello. I am Alex, their cousin. It is hard to summarize a life that felt too short. They lived boldly and loudly and they squeezed joy out of every single weekend. Even when things were messy they layered on kindness like glitter. We are left with playlists and photos and a million small memories that keep them close. If you can, tell one story about them to someone today. It helps.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates to get started. Replace bracketed text with your details and then edit out anything that sounds forced.

Template A classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Cousin s Name] cousin. [Cousin s Name] grew up in [place] and loved [one hobby]. One moment that shows who they were is [short story]. They taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and holding their memory with us.

Template B casual friend like cousin

Hi. I m [Your Name]. To me [Cousin s Name] was more like a friend than a cousin. We spent weekends doing [activity] and arguing about [silly thing]. My favorite memory is [funny or tender story]. If I could have one more conversation it would be about [short line you want to say].

Template C complicated but honest

Hello. I am [Your Name]. My relationship with [Cousin s Name] was not always smooth. We grew apart and came back together over time. What I will remember most is [something true and kind]. I am grateful for our last conversations and for what they taught me about love and patience.

What to avoid in a eulogy for a cousin

• Avoid airing family disputes that would cause more hurt in the room.
• Avoid long lists of achievements without a story to humanize them.
• Avoid overly private details that the family might not want shared.
• Avoid jokes at the expense of anyone in the audience.

Practical tips for delivery

Delivering a speech while grieving is hard. These tips help you stay steady and present.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to handle when emotions run high.
• Use index cards Put one or two lines on each card so you can find your place quickly.
• Mark pauses Jot where you want to breathe or where the audience might laugh or clap. Pauses give you time to recover.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend or to yourself. Practice helps your voice find a steady pace.
• Bring tissues and water A small bottle of water helps if your throat tightens up.
• Ask for a signal Let a close family member know you might need help finishing and agree on a small signal if they need to come up.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If there is no mic speak deliberately and project to the back row.

What to do if you cry and cannot continue

If tears come that is normal. Pause. Breathe. Look at your notes. Say a short line like I need a moment and then breathe again. The audience will wait. If you cannot continue have a trusted person standing by to finish a sentence or deliver a closing line you prepared ahead of time.

How to include readings poems and music

Short readings work best. Choose two to four lines from a poem rather than a long piece. Music can be recorded or live. Keep it brief and place it so it supports your words for example before the eulogy or as a short interlude after a meaningful line. Confirm with the officiant or venue about recorded music and file formats.

When multiple people are speaking

Coordinate to avoid repetition. Decide who will cover what so each person s remarks add something new. For example one person can give a short life sketch another can tell a funny memory and a third can offer a closing reflection. Keep each speaker s time in mind so the event stays on track.

Recording and sharing the eulogy

Ask family permission before posting a recording online. Some families want privacy. If sharing is approved add a short description and be mindful of the deceased s preferences. You can email the text to relatives or add it to a memory book or group chat for people who could not attend.

Logistics to check

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Ask the funeral director about audio equipment or where to stand.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they want to print it or manage timing.
• Decide whether you will read from paper or from memory.

How to honor a cousin who was private

If your cousin was a private person you can honor their privacy while still being meaningful. Focus on small habits and gestures rather than emotional confessions. Mention values they lived by or small kind acts people might have witnessed. Keep it brief and respectful.

How to handle social media and online condolences

Many people will share condolences online. If the family has a preferred place for messages such as a private group or an obit page say so in the service or in a family message. Avoid posting photos or details the family has not approved. A short note about where to send donations or flowers is helpful to include with any online post.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details and biographical facts.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories and photos rather than strict rituals.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can take place at home or in a facility.
• RSVP An abbreviation that asks people to confirm attendance. It stands for respond s il vous plait which means please respond.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy for my cousin if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to the cousin. A simple opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Cousin s Name] cousin gives the audience context and helps you settle. Then say one true sentence about them. Practicing this line will steady you at the microphone.

What if my cousin and I were estranged

You can be honest without being painful. Acknowledge complexity and share any small reconciliations or memories that feel true. It is okay to keep the remarks short and to focus on what you learned or on a single memory you can stand behind.

Can I add humor in a eulogy for a cousin

Yes. Small earned humor that comes from shared experience often helps people breathe. Avoid jokes that could embarrass anyone in the room. Pair humor with a sincere line so the tone remains respectful.

How do I handle a young death in a eulogy

With honesty and careful pacing. Acknowledge the loss and name one or two things that capture who the person was. Invite people to share memories later. You do not have to solve the grief in a single speech.

Should I read the eulogy or say it from memory

Most people read from paper or index cards. Reading is perfectly fine and often less stressful. If you plan to memorize parts practice them out loud so they feel natural.

What if people in the audience disagree with what I say

Stick to your truth and keep the remarks kind. A eulogy is your reflection. If family dynamics are tense keep the tribute short and focus on shared memories rather than contested issues.

Is it okay to include others in the eulogy

Yes you can invite others to share a quick memory after you speak or arrange for a group reading. Coordinate with the family and the officiant so timing works.

How do I end the eulogy

Close with a short line that offers comfort or a small call to action. For example ask people to share a memory after the service or to play a favorite song in their car. Keep the closing simple and intentional.