Writing a eulogy for your dad is heavy and necessary work. You want to honor him, tell a story that feels true, and get through the moment with your voice intact if possible. This guide gives you a clear method, ready to use templates, and lots of real examples so you can pick something that fits your dad and your family. We explain any terms that might feel new and include delivery advice that actually helps when emotions are high.
We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.
That is why we created a simple step by step eulogy writing guide. It gently walks you through what to include, how to shape your thoughts, and how to feel more prepared when the moment comes. → Find Out More
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- Who this guide is for
- What is a eulogy
- Terms you might see
- How long should a eulogy be
- Before you start writing
- Structure that works
- Writing the opening
- How to write a life sketch
- Anecdotes that matter
- Addressing complicated relationships
- Using humor the right way
- What to avoid in a eulogy
- Full eulogy examples you can adapt
- Example 1 Classic loving dad three to four minute version
- Example 2 Short modern eulogy under two minutes
- Example 3 Complicated relationship honest and respectful
- Example 4 Celebration of life tone with humor
- Fill in the blank templates
- Practical tips for delivery
- When you want to cry while reading
- How to include readings poems and music
- Logistics and who to tell
- After the eulogy
- Checklist before you step up to speak
- Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Frequently asked questions
Who this guide is for
This article is for anyone asked to speak about their father at a funeral, memorial, graveside, or celebration of life. Maybe you were the obvious choice because you were close or because you speak well in public. Maybe you are nervous and not sure how to pack a life into a few minutes. Maybe your relationship with your dad was complicated. That is okay. There are examples here for short, funny, solemn, and messy situations.
What is a eulogy
A eulogy is a speech given at a funeral or memorial to remember and honor the person who has died. It is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice with dates, survivors, and service information. A eulogy is personal. It is a story. It does not need to be perfect or exhaustive. It needs to be honest and kind.
Terms you might see
- Obituary A written notice announcing a death. It usually lists basic facts like birth date, survivors, and funeral arrangements.
- Order of service The schedule for the funeral or memorial listing music, readings, and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
- Pallbearer A person who carries the casket at a funeral. Pallbearers are often close friends or family.
- Celebration of life A less formal alternative to a traditional funeral that focuses on stories, photos, and memory sharing.
- Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life when someone is nearing the end. Hospice can be care at home or in a facility depending on the situation.
- RSVP This stands for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
How long should a eulogy be
Short and clear usually works best. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is roughly four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. If many people are speaking, keep yours to the shorter end so the service can stay on schedule. A short honest tribute often lands harder than a long wandering speech.
Before you start writing
Give yourself a tiny plan. A little structure frees you from perfection anxiety.
- Confirm time Ask the family or officiant how long you are expected to speak. That helps choose a template.
- Pick a tone Do you want to be solemn, funny, a mix of both, or brief and private? Check with close family so your tone fits the overall event.
- Gather memories Ask siblings, friends, or coworkers for one quick story each. One good story beats a list of facts.
- Choose three focus points Pick three things you want listeners to remember about your dad. Three keeps the speech shaped and memorable.
Structure that works
Use a simple shape. It keeps you on track and helps your audience follow along.
- Opening Say your name and your relationship to your dad. Offer one clear sentence that sets the tone.
- Life sketch Give a brief overview of his life roles like son, partner, father, worker, coach, or neighbor. Dates are optional.
- Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal his character. Keep them specific and sensory.
- Lessons and traits Share a few things he taught you or ways people will miss him.
- Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short quote, a poem excerpt, or a call to action such as lighting a candle or sharing a memory.
Writing the opening
The opening is your landing strip. Keep it simple. State your name and relationship. Then say one honest sentence about who he was to you and to others.
Opening examples you can use
- Hi everyone. I am Carlos and I am Alex s son. Today I want to say a few quick things about how he made everyone feel safer and seen.
- Hello. I am Maya and I am Tom s daughter. My dad taught me two things that mattered the most he loved hard and he fixed things that others thought were broken.
- Good afternoon. I am Ryan his oldest boy. Dad lived loud laugh first and ask questions later. Today we celebrate that loudness.
How to write a life sketch
The life sketch is not a full biography. Choose the facts that support your theme. Focus on roles and a few milestones rather than a long resume.
Life sketch templates
- [Name] was born in [place]. He worked as a [job] for [number] years and later retired to [hobby or life change]. He was a son, a partner to [name], and a father to [names or count].
- [Name] moved to [city] when he was young. He loved [hobby]. He coached little league, fixed radios, and never missed a family dinner.
Anecdotes that matter
Stories are what people remember. Keep each anecdote short with a setup, an action, and a one line reflection about why it matters.
Short anecdote examples
- When I was seven he taught me to change a tire. He tried to make it a big deal but also made it a joke. I learned to be independent and to laugh when things go sideways.
- He had a rule that the barbecue license belonged to him. If you burned a burger you owned up to it and you cleaned the grill. That rule made us better cooks and better teammates.
- On long drives he would always pick the worst dad jokes. He did not always make us laugh but he kept trying. That persistence felt like love.
Addressing complicated relationships
Not every father child relationship is tidy. If you had a complicated dynamic you can still speak honestly with dignity. Acknowledge the complexity and then choose one truthful memory or lesson to hold up. You do not have to fix everything in one speech.
Examples for complicated relationships
- My relationship with my dad was complicated. We fought and we loved. In the last year we found a new rhythm of talking about small things. I am grateful for that time.
- He could be absent and he could also show up in ways that mattered. I learned patience and how to build my own support system because of that.
- We did not always agree. Still he taught me to stand up for what I believe and to apologize when I was wrong. Those lessons are real for me now.
Using humor the right way
Humor gives people permission to breathe. Use small earned jokes that reveal character rather than shock value. If you are unsure test the line with a close friend. Avoid anything that might single out or embarrass someone in the audience.
Safe humor examples
- Dad had two settings quiet and louder. If he was quiet you knew something serious was happening. If he was louder you knew the game had turned into a family event.
- He believed socks were negotiable but his lawn mower was sacred. We respected the mower and we respected the socks even less.
What to avoid in a eulogy
- Avoid turning the speech into a family argument or airing grievances. This is not the time for private disputes.
- Avoid long lists of jobs or awards without stories that make them human.
- Avoid cliches without specifics. If you say he always knew best follow with a detail that proves it.
- Avoid reading a long timeline of dates. People remember moments not spreadsheets.
Full eulogy examples you can adapt
Below are complete examples in different tones. Replace bracketed text with your details and read them aloud to make them yours.
Example 1 Classic loving dad three to four minute version
Good afternoon. My name is Jenna and I am Mark s daughter. My dad grew up in Detroit and moved here when he was twenty one. He worked as an electrician for most of his life and he loved that work because he liked fixing things and helping neighbors. He married Lisa and together they raised three kids who learned to build a bookshelf and to never leave tools outside.
One small story that captures him is about Saturday mornings. He kept a radio tuned to the oldies station and made pancakes that tasted like childhood. When someone dropped a plate he was the first person to clean up and the first to make sure we laughed about it. He taught us to show up and to make room for mistakes.
He taught me to be curious about how things work and to say I am sorry when I was wrong. He loved with steady, quiet strength. We will miss his laugh and his willingness to lend his time. Thank you for being here and for holding him with us.
Example 2 Short modern eulogy under two minutes
Hi. I am Omar his son. Dad loved bad coffee good music and being terrible at parallel parking. He also loved us fiercely and showed it in small ways like always calling on Sundays. I am sad and grateful at the same time. Thank you for being here to remember him.
Example 3 Complicated relationship honest and respectful
Hello. I am Priya. My dad and I had a complicated relationship. We argued a lot and we also had moments of quiet understanding. In the last few years we started texting about small things like recipes and the weather. He taught me resilience and how to set boundaries. That was hard then and helpful now. I am thankful for the parts of him that I can carry forward.
Example 4 Celebration of life tone with humor
Hey everyone. I am Ben his kid. If you met my dad you know he loved corny jokes and a perfect steak. He had a rule that Sundays were for naps and for making plans to do absolutely nothing. We will miss his naps his snacks and the way he made silliness feel safe. Let us laugh at a memory and then share one so his loud goofy love keeps living in us.
Fill in the blank templates
Use these templates and edit them until they sound like you. Read them out loud to check pacing and timing.
Template A Classic short
My name is [Your Name]. I am [dad s name] child. [Dad s name] was born in [place or year]. He worked as [job] and loved [hobby]. One memory that shows who he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.
Template B For complicated relationships
My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [dad s name] was not simple. We fought and we thought and we grew. Over time I learned to appreciate [something positive]. In the last [months years] we [reconciled spoke often found peace]. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short line you want to say].
Template C Light and funny with sincerity
Hi I am [Your Name]. To know [dad s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also taught us practical things like how to change a tire and how to make a mean grilled cheese. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. I will miss his jokes and his way of making even chores fun. Thank you.
Practical tips for delivery
Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics help you stay steady.
- Print your speech Use large font. Paper is less likely to be dropped or to glow in a dark room like a phone might.
- Use cue cards Index cards with one or two lines on each card reduce the risk of losing your place.
- Mark pauses Put a bracket or the word pause where you want to breathe or let the audience respond. Pauses give you a second to regroup.
- Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend or to a mirror. Practice tells your throat what to expect.
- Bring tissues and water A glass of water helps if your throat tightens. Tissues are practical and normal.
- Arrange backup If you think you may not finish have a buddy ready to step in. Agree on a signal so they know when to take over.
- Mic technique If there is a microphone keep it a few inches from your mouth. Speak slowly and clearly. If there is no mic project to the back row and slow down to be heard.
When you want to cry while reading
If you cry that is okay. Pause and breathe. Look down at your notes and take a slow sip of water. If your voice breaks slow your pace. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful than rushing. The audience will wait and they want you to speak.
How to include readings poems and music
Short excerpts work best. If you include a poem pick two to four lines rather than a long piece. Confirm with the officiant and have printed copies for the program if possible. Music can be recorded or live. Place it where it supports the speech for example before or after a personal story.
Music ideas
- Pick songs your dad loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
- Keep a track short and place it as an interlude so it does not distract from speakers.
- If live music is planned coordinate the cue so you know when to speak.
Logistics and who to tell
- Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or a chair while speaking.
- Confirm where you will stand and how long you may speak.
- Give a copy of your remarks to the person running the order of service so they can include it in the program or memory book.
After the eulogy
People may ask for a copy. Offer to email it or print a few extra copies. Some families like to include the text in a printed program or in a keepsake book. You can also record the audio and share it privately for family members who could not attend. Ask permission before posting anything online because some families prefer privacy.
Checklist before you step up to speak
- Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
- Print your speech in large font and bring a backup copy.
- Practice at least three times out loud.
- Mark emotional beats and pauses in your copy.
- Bring tissues and water.
- Arrange for a family member to be ready to finish for you if needed.
Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Eulogy A spoken tribute given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who died.
- Obituary A written notice announcing a death with basic facts and service details.
- Order of service The program that lists the sequence of events during the funeral or memorial.
- Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket, usually family or close friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on sharing memories and photos.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for people at the end of life. It can be provided at home or in a facility.
- RSVP A request to confirm attendance for an event. It stands for respond s il vous plait in French which means please respond.
Frequently asked questions
How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous
Begin with your name and relationship to your dad. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Dad s Name] child gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels natural. That small ritual steadies you at the microphone.
What if I forget my place or start crying
Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. The audience will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to step in. A brief note that someone else can pick up makes this easier.
Should I use religious language if the family is not religious
Only if it was meaningful to your dad or to the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories instead. You can include a short reading or poem that matches the family s beliefs.
How do I balance humor and respect
Use humor that is rooted in a real memory that reveals character. Avoid jokes that might embarrass people present. Follow a light joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone. Humor can open hearts but should not deflect real grief.
Can I read the eulogy from my phone
Yes you can but make sure the screen will not ring and that the device will stay on. Many people prefer paper or printed index cards because they are easier to manage when emotions run high and do not glare in dim venues.
How long should a eulogy be
A good target is three to seven minutes. Shorter speeches are often more memorable. If others are speaking coordinate times to keep the service on schedule.
Is it okay to include a poem or a song
Yes. Choose short excerpts. Confirm with the officiant and provide printed text in the program when possible. Place the reading or song where it supports the speech such as before or after a personal story.
Should I give a copy of the eulogy to the funeral home or officiant
Yes. Giving a copy helps the officiant and the person running the service keep time and allows the text to be included in programs or memory books.