Writing a eulogy for your dad is hard and important at the same time. You want to honor him, get the facts right, and say something true without feeling like you are performing. This guide gives a clear plan, real examples you can adapt, and delivery tricks that actually help when emotions are raw. We explain terms you might not know and give fill in the blank templates you can steal and personalize. Read it through, pick a template, and start drafting with confidence.
We know how hard that can feel. You are sorting through precious memories, searching for the right words, and trying to hold it together when it is time to speak. It is a lot to carry.
That is why we created a simple step by step eulogy writing guide. It gently walks you through what to include, how to shape your thoughts, and how to feel more prepared when the moment comes. → Find Out More
Quick Links to Useful Sections
- Who this guide is for
- What is a eulogy
- How long should a eulogy be
- Before you start writing
- Simple structure that works
- What to include in each part
- Opening
- Life sketch
- Anecdotes that stick
- Addressing complicated relationships with honesty
- Using humor the right way
- What to avoid in a eulogy
- Full eulogy examples you can adapt
- Example 1: Classic three to four minute tribute
- Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
- Example 3: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful
- Example 4: Celebration of life tone with humor
- Fill in the blank templates
- Delivery tips that actually help
- If you need to cry while reading
- Including readings, poems, and music
- Logistics to confirm
- Sharing the eulogy after the service
- Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Frequently asked questions
Who this guide is for
This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about their father at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or wake. Maybe you were the obvious choice because you were the child who called him the most. Maybe you are the one who can stand up and talk without turning it into a long therapy session. Maybe your relationship was complicated. That is okay. There are sample scripts for short, funny, tender, and honest needs.
What is a eulogy
A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It usually appears as part of a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is not the same thing as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that gives basic facts and service information. A eulogy is personal. It is a short story. It is allowed to be imperfect.
Terms you might see and what they mean
- Obituary A published announcement about a death that usually includes biographical details and funeral arrangements.
- Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial, listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
- Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. These people are often family or close friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and informal rituals rather than strict ceremony.
- Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can be provided at home or in a facility.
- Officiant The person leading the service. This could be a clergy person, a celebrant, or a friend who agreed to facilitate the event.
- RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
How long should a eulogy be
Short and clear is better than long and wandering. Aim for three to seven minutes. That usually translates to about four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. If you are worried about crying, a short, focused tribute will often feel more powerful than a long speech that loses its shape.
Before you start writing
Preparation makes everything smoother. Use this quick plan to gather what you need.
- Ask about time Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
- Decide the tone Do you want solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Check with close family so the tone fits your dad and the audience.
- Collect material Gather dates, jobs, nicknames, favorite sayings, and quick stories. Ask siblings or close friends for one memory each.
- Choose three focus points Pick three main things you want people to remember about your dad. Three points are small enough to hold and large enough to give the speech shape.
Simple structure that works
Good structure gives the audience and you permission. Use this simple shape.
- Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
- Life sketch Give a brief overview of his life in practical strokes. Focus on roles like son, brother, husband, dad, colleague, or volunteer.
- Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and short.
- Lessons and traits Summarize values he passed on or things people will miss.
- Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short quote, a poem excerpt, or an invitation for people to light a candle or share a memory.
What to include in each part
Opening
Do not overcomplicate the opening. Start with your name and your relationship to your dad. Then say one clear sentence about what you want to be remembered from your words.
Opening examples
- Hello, I am Jason. I am Tom s son. Today we are here to remember how he taught us to fix things and to forgive faster than he criticized.
- Hi, I m Maya. I am his daughter. My father loved maps, late night jokes, and Sunday pancakes. I want to share a few small stories that show who he was.
- Good afternoon. I am Luke, his oldest child. He had a laugh that could fill a room and a way of making you feel like the most important person there. I want to honor that today.
Life sketch
This is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you are telling. Use plain language and avoid listing every job. Think about the roles your dad played that shaped his life and yours.
Life sketch templates
- [Name] was born in [place]. He worked as [job] and later as [job or role]. He was a son, a brother, a husband, and a father to [names or count].
- [Name] moved to [city] when he was [age or life stage]. He loved [hobby], made the best [food], and never missed a chance to [habit].
Anecdotes that stick
Stories are what people remember. Tell one or two short anecdotes that reveal your dad s personality. Keep them sensory and show why the memory matters.
Examples of tiny anecdotes
- When I was six he taught me to change a tire. He let me hold the wrench and he never rushed me. That patience showed up in everything he did.
- He had a ritual of fixing one thing each Saturday. It might be a leaky faucet or a friend s lawn mower. He believed you could show love with tools and time.
- On road trips he always brought a clipboard with a playlist. He did not care if he did not know all the words. He sang like the car was a stage and we were the audience.
Addressing complicated relationships with honesty
Not every relationship with a father is simple. If your relationship was strained you can still speak honestly and with dignity. You do not need to air private grievances in public. Acknowledge complexity and point to closure or lessons learned.
Examples for complicated relationships
- My relationship with Dad was complicated. We had fights and long silences. In the last year we found a quieter place of understanding. I am grateful for that time together.
- He could be stubborn and blunt. That taught me to stand up for myself and to be direct when it mattered. Those lessons were hard then and useful now.
- We did not always see eye to eye. Still, he showed up when it counted. That small kindness meant everything to me.
Using humor the right way
Humor can open a room and give people permission to breathe. Use small earned jokes that come from real moments. Test anything you plan to say with a trusted family member. Avoid jokes that might embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience.
Safe humor examples
- Dad had two speeds, slow and faster. If you were late he was already three steps ahead making a plan to rescue you.
- He believed a lawn should be trimmed like a museum and socks should match like a bank account. He called his approach organized chaos.
What to avoid in a eulogy
- Avoid turning the eulogy into a therapy session or public family argument.
- Avoid gossip or private family secrets that could hurt people present.
- Avoid reading long lists of accomplishments without stories to make them human.
- Avoid cliches without a specific detail that makes them honest.
Full eulogy examples you can adapt
Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and edit for tone. Read them out loud and trim anything that sounds forced.
Example 1: Classic three to four minute tribute
Hello, my name is Anna and I am Michael s daughter. Dad was born in Cleveland and spent his life building things and friendships. He worked as a mechanic for over thirty years and later ran a small shop where everyone was treated like family.
One thing that captures him was his Saturday ritual. He would get up early, make coffee strong enough to walk away on its own, and work on a project. I remember one spring when he rebuilt an old bicycle for my cousin. He stayed up late sanding and painting and when he was done he wrapped it in newspaper like it was a prize. He taught us that effort matters as much as talent.
He showed love with actions. He taught me how to change a tire, how to apologize when you are wrong, and how to stay when things get messy. We will miss his calm voice on the phone and his way of making Sundays feel safe. Thank you for being here and for sharing the ways he touched your life.
Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes
Hi, I m Omar and I am his son. Dad loved basketball, terrible puns, and cold pizza at midnight. He taught me to keep a toolbox in the trunk and to laugh at absurdities. I will miss his goofy advice and the way he cheered the loudest. Thank you for remembering him with us.
Example 3: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful
My name is Leah. My father and I had a rocky road. We argued and we cooled off and we argued again. Over the last years we learned to listen. He said sorry when it mattered. He taught me to be stubborn about my values and soft about my mistakes. I am grateful for that slow work of repair. Thank you, Dad.
Example 4: Celebration of life tone with humor
Hello, I m Ben. If you met my father you know he had two obsessions, coffee and perfect lawn edges. He treated the garden like a competitive sport. He also had a heart wide enough to take in friends who needed a meal or a place to sleep for a while. Today we celebrate his loud laugh, his terrible jokes, and the extra pie he always left for us. Please laugh and tell a story after, because he would not want a room full of damp faces.
Fill in the blank templates
Copy a template and replace bracketed text. Read it aloud and edit until it sounds like you.
Template A: Short and steady
My name is [Your Name]. I am [Dad s name] [son daughter child]. [Dad s name] was born in [place]. He worked as [job] and loved [hobby]. One memory that shows the kind of man he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here with us.
Template B: For complicated relationships
My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Dad s name] was complicated. We argued about [small example]. Over time I came to appreciate [something positive]. In the last [months years] we [reconnected spoke often found peace]. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short line you want to say].
Template C: Light and funny with sincerity
Hi, I am [Your Name]. To know [Dad s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also made sure we all knew [life practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. He used humor to hold us together. I will miss his jokes and his way of making awkward family dinners feel like a show.
Delivery tips that actually help
Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics keep you grounded.
- Print your speech Use large font and bring a backup copy. Paper is easier when hands shake.
- Use cue cards Index cards with one or two lines per card help you keep place and reduce pressure.
- Mark pauses Put brackets or the word pause where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup.
- Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, to a mirror, or to your dog. Practice tells your throat what to expect.
- Bring tissues Or a handkerchief. If you stop, breathe and continue. People will wait.
- Ask for help If you think you will not finish, arrange for someone to introduce you and to step in to finish a line if needed.
- Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If there is no mic, speak slowly and project to the back row.
- Time it Read the speech out loud and time it so you know if you need to trim or expand.
If you need to cry while reading
Tears are normal and allowed. Pause, breathe, look down at your notes, and continue when you can. If your voice breaks, slow down. Saying fewer words more slowly can be more powerful. The audience is on your side and will wait with you.
Including readings, poems, and music
Short readings work best. If you include a poem pick a brief excerpt rather than a long piece. Readings can be religious or secular. Confirm the officiant is comfortable and print the text in the program when possible.
Music choices
- Pick songs your dad loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
- If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
- Keep music short and place it where it supports the speech such as before the eulogy or as a brief interlude after a powerful line.
Logistics to confirm
- Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or printed copies.
- Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
- Give a copy to the person running the order of service in case they want to include it in the program or memory book.
Sharing the eulogy after the service
People often ask for copies. Offer to email it to family and friends. Some families include the text in the printed program or place it in a memory book. You can record the audio and share it privately. Ask permission before posting online if the family prefers privacy.
Glossary of useful terms and acronyms
- Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
- Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
- Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
- Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
- Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories and photos rather than rituals.
- Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. This care can be at home or in a facility.
- Officiant The person leading the service. Could be clergy, a celebrant, or a friend.
- RSVP Short for respond s il vous plait which means please respond. Used on invitations to request confirmation.
Frequently asked questions
How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous
Begin with your name and relationship to your dad. A simple opening like Hello, I am [Your Name] and I am [Dad s Name] child gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.
What if I forget my place or start crying
Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to step in. Preparing a short note that someone else can pick up from helps in this scenario.
Should I include religious language if the family is not religious
Only if it was meaningful to your dad or the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories instead. You can include a brief reading or poem that matches the family s beliefs rather than a prayer.
How do I balance humor and respect
Use humor that is rooted in a real story that shows character. Avoid jokes that might embarrass or exclude listeners. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect tone. Humor can open hearts but should not deflect grief.
Can I read the eulogy from my phone
Yes you can, but make sure the screen is bright enough in the venue and that the device will not ring. Many people prefer paper or index cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high.
How long should a eulogy be
Three to seven minutes is a good target. Short speeches tend to be more memorable. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times so the service stays on schedule.
Is it okay to include a poem or song lyric
Yes. Keep excerpts short and meaningful. Confirm with the officiant and provide printed text in the program when possible. Be mindful of copyright if you plan to publish the text online.
What if our family wants multiple speakers
Coordinate who will cover which topics. For example one person can do a short life sketch, another can tell funny stories, and a third can close with a personal reflection. Agree on time limits so the service stays within the planned schedule.