How to Write a Eulogy for Your Da - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your Da can feel impossible and necessary at the same time. You want to honour him, tell a true story, and get through speaking without losing your place. This guide gives a practical plan you can follow, sample scripts to adapt, and delivery tips that actually help. We explain terms you might not know and offer templates you can fill in on the spot. Read through, pick a template, and start writing with confidence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about their Da at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. Maybe you were the obvious choice because you were his closest child or the one who joked with him last. Maybe your relationship was complicated or quiet. That is okay. There are examples here for tender, funny, messy, short, and longer needs. If you call him Dad, Daddy, Pop, Pa, or Da we use the word Da to keep things personal and casual.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honours someone who has died. It is usually part of a funeral or memorial. A eulogy is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that gives basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is personal. It tells stories. It can be imperfect and loving.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and funeral arrangements.
• Order of service The plan or program for the funeral listing readings, music, and speakers.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. Usually family or very close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories instead of rituals.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for a person nearing the end. Hospice care can be at home or in a facility.
• RSVP An abbreviation of the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to request confirmation.

Why using Da matters

Calling him Da can set the tone for your speech. Da often carries regional warmth. It might signal a working class sensibility, a particular accent, or a family joke. You can say Da, Dad, or whatever you used. Using the name you actually used is honest and helps listeners connect.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and clear is better than long and vague. Aim for three to seven minutes. That usually equals 400 to 800 spoken words. If multiple people are speaking, check the time with the family or officiant. A three minute speech can be powerful. So can a seven minute speech. It just needs shape.

Before you start writing

Preparation makes writing and speaking easier. Use this quick plan.

• Confirm time and tone Ask the family or officiant how long you should speak and what tone fits the service.
• Gather memories Collect short stories, nicknames, habits, favourite sayings, and key facts. Ask a sibling or close friend for one memory each.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about Da. Three gives your speech shape and keeps you focused.
• Decide whether to include humour If Da loved a laugh, a small earned joke is often right. If the family prefers solemnity, keep it more reflective.

Structure that works

Structure helps you and the audience. Use this simple shape.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to Da. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a short overview of his life in human terms. Focus on roles like son, worker, partner, father, hobbyist, or community member.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two specific stories that reveal character. Keep them short and sensory.
• Lessons and traits Summarise what he taught people or the ways people will remember him.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a brief quote, or a call to action like sharing a memory afterward.

Writing the opening

The opening is where you set the stage. Keep it simple. Start with your name and relationship. Say one clear true sentence about him that will guide the rest of your talk.

Opening examples

• Hello. I am Tom and I am Da s eldest son. Today we remember how he fixed things and made terrible coffee that somehow tasted like love.
• Hi everyone. I am Jamie. I was lucky to call him Da. He taught me how to tell the truth even when it was uncomfortable.
• Good afternoon. My name is Erin and I am his daughter. Da loved football, garden tomatoes, and telling stories that got slightly bigger every year.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you want to tell. Use plain language and avoid listing every job. Think about the roles that shaped him and you.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place] in [year]. He worked as a [job] and later as [role]. He was a son, a partner to [name], and a father to [names or count].
• [Name] moved to [city] when he was [age]. He loved [hobby], made the best [meal], and never missed [habit].

Anecdotes that actually land

People remember stories more than statements. Keep stories short, sensory, and with a small payoff. A good story has a setup, an action, and a line that explains why it matters now.

Examples of short anecdotes

• When I was ten he taught me to change a tyre. He said if you can change a tyre you can face a bad day. He spoke like that a lot. That line stuck.
• Da had a Sunday ritual of reading the paper backwards. One morning he read the sports section first and then pretended to be surprised by the headlines. We pretended to be fooled for years.
• He always hummed when he made soup. You could tell his soup by the tune. The tune is quiet in my head now and it feels like him.

Addressing complicated relationships

Not every relationship with a Da is uncomplicated. If your relationship was strained you can still speak honestly and with dignity. Focus on truth and intention. You do not need to put private grievances on display. Acknowledge complexity and point to a lesson or to closure.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My relationship with Da was complicated. We argued about small things and loved each other quietly. In his last year we found a new way to say sorry. I am grateful for that.
• He was strict and he expected a lot. Those expectations taught me how to put things right and how to stand up for myself. I would not be who I am without that pressure and that love.
• We did not always understand each other. Still, he wanted me to be safe and that mattered more than our differences in the end.

Using humour the right way

Humour can feel like a permission to breathe. Use small earned jokes that show character. Test them on someone who will tell you honestly if the joke lands. Avoid anything that will embarrass the deceased or single out a grieving relative.

Safe humour examples

• Da had two favourite shirts. One he called his lucky shirt and the other he wore when he wanted to feel unlucky. He wore them both proudly and without irony.
• He considered himself a master at barbecues. In reality he undercooked most things. We called him the charmer of raw burgers and he laughed every time.

What to avoid in a eulogy for Da

• Avoid long lists of accomplishments without stories that make them feel human.
• Avoid airing private disputes or secrets in front of people who may feel exposed.
• Avoid using humour that punches down or that targets someone present.
• Avoid trying to be someone you are not. Speak in your voice.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and read them out loud. Trim anything that sounds forced.

Example 1: Practical, loving Da, 3 to 4 minute version

Hello. I am Liam. I am Da s youngest son. It is an honour to say a few words about him.

Da grew up in Sheffield and worked in the shipyard for thirty years. He later fixed cars in our neighbourhood garage. He was a man who loved routine. He knew everyone by name and treated the people who worked for him like they were family. He married Mum and together they made a home where all comings and goings were welcome.

One small story that captures him is about his Saturday mornings. He brewed coffee that tasted like it had been filtered through a screwdriver and his favorite tie. He would sit at the kitchen table and read the paper out loud, mostly the football results. If someone dared to throw his paper away he would quietly retrieve it from the bin and tell the person off like it was a crime of passion. We teased him and he pretended to be annoyed. Mostly he liked the chaos of family being around.

He taught us how to fix things and how to apologise when we were wrong. He gave time more often than money, and he showed kindness by turning up. We will miss his laugh, the rumble of his car on the driveway, and the way he always had space for one more person at dinner. Thank you for being here and for holding his memory with us.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hi everyone. I am Zara and I am Da s daughter. He loved bad TV, the garden, and making us run drills that were basically fitness disguised as parenting. He would make a sandwich, hide the best bit, and tell me to hurry up while he fixed my shoelaces. I will miss him telling me how to do everything and kindly being wrong about most of it. Thank you for coming and for sharing him with us.

Example 3: Complicated and honest

My name is Daniel. My father could be hard and he was proud in ways that made us squirm. We argued and we did not always reconcile. In his last months he softened. He said things he had not said before and he asked for forgiveness in ways that mattered. I am grateful for that. He taught me to be persistent and to stand up for what I believe in. I hope I have learned to be kinder than he was. Thank you, Da.

Example 4: Celebration of life tone with humour

Hello. I am Niamh. If you met Da you know he had rules. Rule one was never trust a man who says his barbecue is ready. Rule two was never say no to tea and cake. He kept biscuits on call like a small army. We will miss his cookie diplomacy and his loud, slightly off tune singing. Today we laugh at the good stuff and remember the rest with kindness.

Example 5: Short poetic eulogy for a tender tone

My name is Aiden. Da had hands that fixed things and hands that held me when storms felt too loud. He did not say a lot. He showed us how to be steady. The last time he smiled at me I felt all the little lessons at once. Thank you for standing here with us today to remember him.

Fill in the blank templates

Fill in the blanks and then edit to make it sound like you. Read it out loud and trim anything that sounds forced.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Da s Name] [son daughter child]. [Da s Name] was born in [place or year]. He loved [one hobby], he worked as [job], and he was the person we called when [small task or habit]. One memory that shows the kind of person he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Da s Name] was complicated. We fought about [small example]. Over time I learned to appreciate [something positive]. In the last [months years] we [reconciled spoke often found peace]. If I could say one thing now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: Light and funny with sincerity

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Da s Name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also made sure we learned [life practical skill]. My favourite memory is [funny small story]. Even his grumpy moments had a soft centre. I will miss his jokes and his terrible puns. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. A printed copy is easier to manage than a phone when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines each help you stay on track.
• Mark pauses Put a symbol where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh or clap. Pauses give you time to gather yourself.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, to your partner, or to your dog. Practice tells your voice what to expect.
• Bring tissues and a water bottle Small comforts matter.
• Arrange a backup If you think you will not get through it arrange for someone to introduce you or to finish a line if needed.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If there is no mic project to the back row.

When you want to cry while reading

If tears come that is fine. Pause, breathe, look down at your notes, and then continue. If your voice breaks slow down. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful. The audience will wait and will likely be grateful for the honesty.

How to include readings, poems, and music

Short excerpts work best. If you include a poem pick a two to four line excerpt rather than reading an entire long poem. Readings can be religious or secular. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with the piece and print the text in the program when possible.

Music choices

• Pick songs that Da loved or that match the tone of the event.
• If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
• Keep music short and place it where it supports the speech. For example play a short track before the eulogy or as a brief interlude after a powerful line.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service. That helps if they want to include it in the printed program.

Recording the eulogy and sharing it

Ask permission before posting a recording online. Some families prefer privacy. If you do share add a brief note about how people can donate or how to share memories with the family. Private sharing with close family can be a comfort for those who could not attend.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a glass of water if allowed.
• Tell a family member you might need a moment and arrange a signal if you want them to finish if needed.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honour the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories and photos instead of ritual.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life.
• RSVP This is an abbreviation for the French phrase respond s il vous plait meaning please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How long should a eulogy for Da be

Aim for three to seven minutes. That usually equals 400 to 800 spoken words. Short, focused speeches tend to be more memorable and easier to deliver when emotions are raw.

What is the difference between a eulogy and an obituary

An obituary is a written notice that announces a death and lists basic facts like dates and service details. A eulogy is a personal speech that shares memories, stories, and reflections.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to finish a sentence or step in. Practicing will reduce the chances of losing your place, but planning for an emotional pause is useful.

Can I use humour if Da loved to joke

Yes. Small, earned humour that comes from real memories is often welcome. Avoid jokes that might embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the room. Follow a joke with a sincere line to bring the tone back to grief and memory.

Should I give a copy of the eulogy to the funeral home or officiant

Yes. Providing a copy helps the officiant and the person running the service stay on schedule. It also makes it easier to include the text in a printed program or memory book.

How do I start if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to Da. A simple line like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Da s Name] child gives context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar.

Can I read the eulogy from my phone

Yes you can, but make sure your phone will not ring and that the screen will be visible in the venue. Many people prefer printed notes or index cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high.

Is it okay to include a poem or song

Yes. Choose short excerpts and confirm with the officiant. Print the text in the program if possible and place music where it supports the speech rather than overwhelms it.