How to Write a Eulogy for Your Cousin Twice Removed - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for a cousin twice removed can feel awkward and important at the same time. Maybe you were close and the family connection is what matters. Maybe you did not see them often and you still want to say something honest and kind. This guide explains what cousin twice removed means, gives a simple structure you can follow, offers real example scripts you can adapt, and includes delivery tips that actually help. We explain any terms you might not know and give templates you can steal and personalize.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about a cousin twice removed at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or wake. Maybe the family chose you because you live nearby or because you shared a memory. Maybe you are the person who can stand and make a small speech without turning it into an epic family history lecture. Whatever your relationship to the person, this guide will help you make a brief, meaningful tribute.

What does cousin twice removed mean

A cousin twice removed is a relative with whom you share a common ancestor but who is either two generations older or two generations younger than you. That is a lot of words for a simple idea. Here are three plain ways to think about it.

• If your great grandparent is someone else s grandparent then you and that other person are cousins twice removed.
• If you knew someone as your cousin but they were actually from a different generation in the family tree that is often called twice removed.
• In practice the label matters less than the relationship. Use the term if it helps people place the relationship. You do not need to use genealogy to make your speech warm or honest.

Terms you might see

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and service information.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers. Think of it like the event program.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket, often a close family member or friend.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that usually focuses on stories, photos, and shared memories rather than rituals.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

Why it is okay to speak about a distant relative

Family labels do not measure worth. A cousin twice removed might have been someone you saw only at reunions and yet they could have shaped a story you love to tell. Maybe they sent birthday cards every year, told a specific joke that stuck, or taught you how to fix a bicycle tire. A short, honest eulogy for a relative you did not see often still helps the family and honors the person. If you are worried about over claiming closeness, use language that makes your role clear and sincere.

Before you write

Do a quick reality check so your speech fits the event.

• Check with the family or officiant about time Confirm how long you can speak and when you will speak in the order of service.
• Ask about tone Should you be solemn, celebratory, a little funny, or a mix? The family might have a preference based on the person s life.
• Gather one or two memories Ask other family members if they have a short memory or a detail you can use. One or two real memories are enough.
• Decide how you will refer to genealogy If you plan to explain cousin twice removed, keep it brief. Most people want a memory not a family tree lesson.

Simple structure that works

When you are writing for someone who is not in your immediate circle, simplicity is your friend. Use this straightforward shape.

• Opening Say your name and your relationship to the deceased in one line. That sets context.
• Why you are speaking A sentence about why you were asked to speak or what the person meant to you.
• Life sketch One short paragraph with practical strokes about their life. Keep it high level.
• Anecdote or memory One story that shows a trait or an action. Make it short and sensory.
• What they taught or gave One to three takeaways people can leave remembering.
• Closing One simple goodbye line, a short quote, or an invitation to remember them in a small way.

How to write the opening

The opening is the easiest part to mess up by trying too hard. Keep it plain.

Opening examples

• Hi, I am Jason. I am Mary s great niece and I am honored to say a few words about our cousin twice removed, Frank.
• Hello everyone. I am Nina. I knew Robert as my cousin twice removed though he always called me his far away niece. He loved telling road trip stories.
• Good afternoon. My name is Aisha and I was lucky to have Claire in my life at family reunions and at the lake. She was our cousin twice removed and she felt like family.

Writing a short life sketch

The life sketch is not a biography. You do not need to list every job or date. Pick three simple facts that help people place them in the world.

Life sketch template

[Name] was born in [place or year]. They worked as a [job] and later enjoyed [hobby]. They were a parent to [names] and a part of our family through [family connection]. In plain language, they loved [thing] and were known for [trait].

Picking an anecdote that matters

One short story will make the person feel real to the people listening. Keep the story specific, sensory, and end with why it matters.

Good anecdotes for a cousin twice removed

• The time they drove six hours to bring a homemade pie to a cousin s baby shower.
• The story about how they always remembered your birthday even when you thought no one would.
• The yearly camping ritual where they taught younger cousins how to start a fire safely and then told ghost stories that were more silly than scary.

Examples you can adapt

Below are ready to use examples. Replace bracketed text with your own details and read them out loud once or twice. Each example follows the structure above.

Example 1: Short and sincere under two minutes

Hello. My name is Emma. I am Jonah s cousin twice removed and I am honored to say a few words today. Jonah grew up in Portland and worked as a carpenter who loved a good joke more than expensive tools. He always showed up for family meals with extra chairs and a dessert he had baked himself. One memory I have is of him teaching my little brother how to fix a wobbly chair. He was patient in a simple, steady way. What I will remember most is how he made room for people. Thank you for being here and for holding his family in your care.

Example 2: Light with a touch of humor

Hi everyone. I am Marcus. Technically I am Claire s cousin twice removed which made family reunions feel a bit like a sitcom casting call. Claire had this rule that you could not leave the table until you had eaten at least one serving of her famous potato salad. She said it built character. She also had a talent for remembering every dad joke she had ever heard and insisting we laugh. She sent postcards for no reason and somehow remembered everyone s middle name. We will miss her perfectly odd rituals and her way of making a room feel welcoming. Eat a spoonful of potato salad for Claire today if you can.

Example 3: Honest and respectful for a complicated bond

My name is Priya. I was not close to my cousin twice removed, Denise, for most of my life. We were separated by distance and by busy schedules. In the last few years we reconnected over old family photos and a shared love of old country songs. That small friendship surprised me and it mattered. Denise had a stubborn tenderness. She could be blunt and she could be kind in ways that took me by surprise. I am grateful for the late chances we had to know each other better.

Example 4: Celebration of life tone

Hello. I am Ben and I am their cousin twice removed. If you ever met Pat you knew to expect cookies and a story. Pat kept a box of mismatched postcards tied with string and handed them out like little treasures. That box is, in a way, Pat s legacy. It is the tiny reminders that even a brief note or a short visit can mean more than we know. Today we remember the small gestures that added up to a life lived with attention to others.

Fill in the blank templates

These templates are built to be short and easy to personalize.

Template A: Short classic

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Name s] cousin twice removed. [Name] lived in [place] and loved [hobby]. One memory I will keep is [brief story]. What I learned from them is [lesson]. Thank you for being here to honor [Name].

Template B: For reconnecting later in life

Hi. I am [Your Name]. We reconnected with [Name] in [year or context]. We bonded over [shared interest or memory]. Even though we were not close for a long time, our later conversations meant a great deal to me. If I could say one thing to them now it would be [short line].

Template C: Light and warm

Hello everyone. I am [Your Name]. To know [Name] was to know that [quirky habit]. They also taught us to [practical lesson or value]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. I will miss their [trait]. Please join me in remembering that small kindness with a smile today.

What to avoid when speaking about a distant relative

• Avoid pretending you were closer than you were. Honesty resonates more than false intimacy.
• Avoid long family tree explanations. People came to grieve and remember not to audit genealogy.
• Avoid embarrassing gossip or private details that could hurt others in the room.
• Avoid clichés without a follow up example. If you say they were generous, add one short example that shows it.

Practical tips for delivery

• Print your speech Use a large font so you can see easily. Paper is reliable when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines each keep you from getting lost.
• Mark emotional beats Put a star where you want to pause or take a breath. Pauses are powerful.
• Practice out loud Say the speech to a friend, to a mirror, or into your phone. Practice helps your voice settle.
• Bring tissues and water These small comforts matter when you are nervous or tearful.
• Ask for someone to be ready to finish if needed Designate a family member or friend who can step in if you need a moment.
• Check microphone rules Ask the venue if you will have a mic and where to stand. If no mic is available, speak slowly and project to the back.

Handling tears and memory blanks

If you cry, that is okay. Pause, inhale slowly, and then continue. If you forget a name or a detail, stop and say, I will come back to that, and then move to the next line you know. People will understand. Many audiences prefer authenticity to perfection. If you cannot continue, hand your notes to the person who agreed to finish for you or ask someone to step up briefly.

How to include readings or music

Short helps. If you want to include a poem, pick a two to four line excerpt. If you want music, choose a short song or a brief passage from a song that mattered to the person. Always check with the officiant or the family about items that feel personal or private. If you plan to read a religious text, ensure that the family and officiant are comfortable with it.

Logistics to confirm

• Confirm your time limit and place in the order of service.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the program in case they need to include it in printed materials or to step in.
• Ask if audio or video recording is allowed if you plan to record the eulogy for family members who cannot attend.
• Confirm the name pronunciation of the deceased and of family members before you speak.

Glossary of useful terms

• Cousin twice removed A relative who is two generations different from you but shares a common ancestor. The phrase places someone in the family tree but does not define your emotional bond.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing the sequence of readings and speakers.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death and typically containing service information and biographical details.
• Celebration of life A gathering that focuses on stories and memories rather than rituals and ceremony.
• RSVP An invitation request to confirm attendance. It stands for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond.

Frequently asked questions

Do I need to explain the phrase cousin twice removed in the eulogy

No. You can explain it briefly if you think people will be confused, for example by saying I am their cousin twice removed which means we were from different generations of the family. But most people will be fine with you simply stating your relation and then moving into a memory.

What if I barely knew the person

That is okay. You can offer a short, respectful remark about how you knew them and then share one small kindness they showed or one way their presence mattered, such as attending reunions or supporting family causes. Honesty and kindness are enough.

Can a cousin twice removed be chosen to be a pallbearer

Yes. Pallbearers are chosen for many reasons including closeness, availability, and family tradition. Relationship labels do not disqualify someone from serving in that role.

How long should my eulogy be

Aim for one to five minutes depending on the family s plan and the number of speakers. Short is often better and helps keep the service flowing.

Is it okay to use humor when writing about a distant relative

Yes, small earned humor is welcome. Use light jokes that are kind and test them with a trusted family member. Avoid anything that could feel mean or that singles out a grieving person.

Should I offer to share my written eulogy afterward

Yes. Offer to email it to family members or to give a copy to the person running memorial materials. Some families include eulogies in memory books or programs.