How to Write a Eulogy for Your Cousin Once Removed - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for a cousin once removed can feel oddly specific and emotionally complex. Maybe they were a childhood camp friend or someone you only saw at big family gatherings. Maybe they were a close confidant who lived far away. This guide gives practical steps, real examples you can adapt, and plain language explanations of terms you might not know. We keep the voice casual and real so you can write something that sounds like you and lands in the room.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a cousin once removed at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside gathering. If you are a millennial balancing feelings and schedules you will find short templates, quick edits, and delivery tips that do not require theatrical training. Use the examples as a starting point and make them your own.

What does cousin once removed mean

A cousin once removed is either your cousin s child or the child of your great aunt or great uncle depending on who you are in the family tree. The phrase once removed simply means there is a one generation gap between you and that cousin. It is not a value judgement about how close you were. People often use the term without knowing exactly where the person sits on the family tree. That is okay. Use whatever label feels honest in the moment.

Terms you might see

• Eulogy A short speech at a funeral or memorial that honors the person who died. It is personal and story based.
• Obituary A written announcement that usually appears in a paper or online and shares basic facts like dates and service times.
• Order of service The run of the event listing music, readings, speakers, and any rituals.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memory sharing.
• Officiant The person leading the service. They might be a clergy person a celebrant or a family friend.

How long should a eulogy be

Aim for three to seven minutes. That is usually about 400 to 800 spoken words. Shorter is often stronger. If you are nervous and keep it to two minutes that is totally fine. The goal is clarity and honesty not theatrical perfection.

Before you start writing

Quick checklist before you type a single sentence.

• Ask the family or officiant how long you should speak and where your remarks fit in the order of service.
• Decide your tone. Do you want to be candid and funny or reflective and quiet. Check with a close relative if you are unsure.
• Gather memory prompts. Ask one or two people for a short story or detail they remember about this cousin once removed.
• Pick two or three things you want listeners to remember about them. That gives your speech a shape.

Structure that actually works

Use a simple structure so the audience can follow and so you have permission to stay concise.

• Open Say your name and how you are related. One short sentence to set the tone.
• Life sketch A brief overview that highlights roles and a few human details not a full biography.
• Stories One to three short anecdotes that show character. Keep them sensory and with a small payoff.
• Meaning Explain what they taught you or the family. This can be a value habit or a way they made people feel.
• Close A goodbye line a short quote or an invitation for attendees to remember with a moment of silence or to share one memory after the service.

How to open

Open with your name and relationship. That gives context and lets you breathe. A simple opener lands better than a dramatic one when you are emotional.

Opening examples

• Hi everyone. I m Jamie and I am Alex s cousin once removed. I want to say a few quick things about how they turned awkward silences into full conversations.
• Hello. I m Pri and I had the luck of knowing Erin as my cousin s child and my friend. Erin taught me that curiosity is a superpower.
• Good afternoon. My name is Marcus and I came to know Theo at family barbecues and museum visits. He was loud about what he loved and gentle about what others loved.

What to include in the life sketch

Keep the life sketch compact. Pick details that support the stories you will tell. Focus on roles hobbies or a defining trait.

Short life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place] and moved to [place] for work or school. They loved [hobby] and worked as [job or role]. They were a sibling parent friend and cousin once removed who always [small habit].
• [Name] had a way of making ordinary moments feel like invitations to laugh. Whether they were [activity] or [habit] they did it with full presence.

Stories that stick

Pick one to three short stories. The best stories have a setup an action and a line that ties it back to character. Make them sensory if you can mention a smell a sound or a small gesture.

Examples of quick stories

• When we were kids they taught us a chaotic card game that they insisted made sense once you were laughing. We never learned the rules but we always left feeling lighter.
• At family reunions they would linger near the grill and ask adults about their first jobs. They genuinely wanted to collect the ordinary human stories we forget to tell each other.
• They had a Saturday ritual of calling their grandmother just to ask which recipe to use that week. That small habit showed how much they cared about continuity and family taste.

Examples you can adapt

Below are full examples in different tones. Replace bracketed text with details that fit your cousin once removed. Read them out loud and make edits so the voice sounds like you.

Example 1 Casual and warm three to four minute version

Hello everyone. I m Sam and I am Riley s cousin once removed. Riley was the person you could count on to bring an extra dessert and an extra joke. They grew up in [city] moved around for work and somehow collected a crew of friends who were basically family.

One small memory that captures Riley is about their approach to the dishwasher. Riley believed the dishwasher was a team sport and that loading it properly showed respect for the next person. It is a silly detail but it tells you how they thought about care. Small acts mattered.

They loved long walks at sunset and playlists that mixed old school soul with new music. Riley made playlists that were like letters. In our family group chat those playlists end up as ather all of us can return to when we want to feel a little closer.

What I will carry from Riley is the lesson that showing up matters more than grand gestures. They showed up to birthdays to text messages to last minute road trips. That commitment to presence is a template we can use. Thank you for being here to celebrate Riley and to hold each other while we remember. If anyone wants to share a quick memory after I will step aside for you.

Example 2 Short funny modern style under two minutes

Hi. I m Avery and I was lucky to know Casey as a cousin once removed and a partner in petty sibling pranks. Casey s superpower was self deprecating humor mixed with precise snack choices. If we ever had a party Casey would be in charge of chips and also unofficial mood director.

One rule Casey had was never to RSVP yes to a potluck without committing to bringing dessert. That is possibly the only rule I plan to follow now. We will miss their laugh and their commitment to sweet things. Thanks for being here and for bringing desserts in their honor.

Example 3 Honest and complicated

My name is Elena. My relationship with Jonah was not simple. He was part of my extended family and sometimes our lives ran parallel so we knew the basics more than the deep parts. In the last few years we made space to talk more. Jonah shared how he felt about choosing slow art and slow living and I learned to ask harder questions about how people really were.

We did not fix every thing but we found a small steady way to listen. I appreciate that. If I can say one thing now it is thank you Jonah for the conversations you opened and for the way you reminded me to keep checking in.

Example 4 Celebration of life tone with poignancy

Hello. I am Malik. If I had to describe Nora in one sentence it would be that she made ordinary things feel like a tiny holiday. A walk around the block with her turned into a scouting expedition for the best coffee shop. Nora loved lists and once made a list called things to do before being fifty five. She crossed off most of them loudly and with a grin.

She taught many of us how to look at the small moments and call them wins. Today we celebrate that habit. Please feel free to come up and share a quick memory. Let s pass along one small thing Nora taught us about noticing each other.

Fill in the blanks templates

Use these templates as a base. Fill the brackets and then speak them out loud. Edit for voice and length.

Template A Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Name] cousin once removed. [Name] was born in [place]. They loved [hobby], they worked as [job or role] and they were the person who always [small habit]. One memory that shows what they were like is [brief story]. They taught me [value]. I will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here.

Template B For someone you saw less often

Hi. I m [Your Name]. I did not see [Name] often but when I did we always ended up talking about [topic]. One time we [short anecdote]. That conversation revealed how much they cared about [value]. I am glad I had those moments. Thank you for coming to remember them with us.

Template C Funny but sincere

Hello. I m [Your Name]. To know [Name] was to know that snacks were serious business and that they had a terrible talent for losing sunglasses. One memory is [funny small story]. Even in small ways they made life lighter. We will miss that. Thank you.

Delivery tips for people who actually hate public speaking

• Print your notes Use large font and wide margins. Paper is less likely to make you fumble than a tiny screen.
• Use index cards One or two lines per card helps you pause and breathe between ideas.
• Mark emotional beats Put a bracket or a star where you want to pause or where you expect laughter. Pauses give you space to breathe.
• Practice out loud three times You do not need a full rehearsal just enough to get rhythm and to spot any awkward phrasing.
• Bring tissues and water Your voice will thank you. A sip of water can reset your breath.
• Ask for a small assist If you think you might not finish have a friend ready to step up and close with a sentence you prewrite together.

When you feel like crying mid speech

The audience wants you to be human. Pause take a breath and look down at your notes. If you need a moment take it. A moment of silence is a natural part of a memorial and people will wait. If you cannot finish ask your friend to read one closing sentence you wrote beforehand.

Using readings songs or poems

If you include a reading choose a two to four line excerpt rather than a long passage. Pick a song that had meaning to the person or that sets the tone you want. Confirm with the officiant and if possible add the text to the printed program so people can follow along.

What to avoid

• Avoid long unrelated anecdotes that lose the audience.
• Avoid private family fights or gossip in a public forum.
• Avoid trying to sum up an entire life with a list of jobs and dates.
• Avoid jokes that single out people who may be grieving quietly in the room.

Logistics

• Confirm time with the family or officiant before you write. Stick to that time when you speak.
• Ask the funeral director if there will be a microphone and where you will stand.
• Bring a printed copy to hand to the person running the order of service in case they need it for the program.

Sharing the eulogy after the event

Many families want a copy for a memory book or for those who could not attend. Ask before posting audio or text online. If the family agrees you can email a copy to relatives or post it in a private family group chat. A plain note about why you wrote it helps people receive it with context.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Cousin once removed A cousin who is separated from you by one generation. This could be your cousin s child or your parents cousin depending on family lines.
• Eulogy A personal speech honoring the person who died usually delivered at a funeral or memorial.
• Obituary A published notice announcing a death and providing service information and basic facts.
• Order of service The schedule for the event listing readings music and speakers.
• Officiant The person leading the service. Could be clergy a celebrant or a family member.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy for a cousin once removed if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship. A simple opener like Hello I am [Your Name] cousin once removed gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Then share one short true sentence about the person to ground your remarks.

What if I did not know them well

That is fine. Say that honestly and share one small observation or a memory a family member gave you. You can focus on how they affected others or a single quality you admire like generosity or curiosity.

Can I use humor for a cousin once removed

Yes small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes that come from true moments and avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members. Follow a joke with something sincere to keep the tone balanced.

How long should my speech be if many people are speaking

Coordinate with the family or officiant. If many people are speaking aim for two to three minutes so the service stays on schedule. Short is powerful.

Should I give a copy of my eulogy to the family or funeral home

Yes it is helpful. That way the officiant can keep the schedule and the family can include it in a memory book or program. It also helps if someone needs to finish your remarks for you.

What if I cry and cannot continue

Pause take a breath and look at your notes. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a friend ready to finish a closing sentence you prewrote. Practicing that hand off can reduce anxiety.