How to Write a Eulogy for Your Cousin - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your cousin can feel oddly specific and surprisingly heavy. Maybe your cousin was like a sibling growing up. Maybe they were a wild uncle figure who showed up for birthday chaos. Maybe you were close friends and cousins in name only. This guide gives clear steps, sample scripts you can adapt, and delivery tips that actually help when you are grieving.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about a cousin at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. You might be the cousin who was the closest person in the family, the one who shared teenage summers, the relative who lived across the country but texted the most memes, or the person family members picked because you can stand up and talk without turning it into a group therapy session. There are scripts for short, funny, tender, and complicated relationships.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a brief speech that honors someone who has died. It is usually part of a funeral or memorial service and is a place to share memories, say thank you, and offer a small story that helps people remember the person as more than a list of facts. A eulogy is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written announcement that gives basic facts like birth date, surviving family, and service information. A eulogy is personal. It is story based. It is allowed to be messy.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and funeral arrangements.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing readings, music, and speakers.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. These are usually close relatives or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories instead of rituals.
• Officiant The person leading the service. This could be a clergy member, celebrant, or a family friend.
• Hospice A care approach focused on comfort for people nearing the end of life. Hospice care can happen at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy for a cousin be

Short and focused is usually best. Aim for two to six minutes. That is roughly 300 to 700 spoken words. If multiple people are speaking, coordinate times so the service stays within schedule. A tight three minute tribute can feel more meaningful than a long ramble, especially if emotions are raw.

Before you start writing

Preparation makes this less scary. Use this quick plan.

• Ask about time Check with the family or the officiant about how long you should speak and where you fit in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Are you leaning toward celebratory, solemn, funny, or a mix? Match the tone to the person and to what the family wants.
• Gather memories Text siblings, other cousins, and friends and ask for one short memory each. These give you options and often spark a story you had forgotten.
• Choose two to three focus points Pick two or three things you want people to remember about your cousin. This keeps the speech from wandering.

Structure that works

Use a simple shape. It helps you and the listener.

• Opening Say your name and your relationship to the cousin. Set the tone in one line.
• Life sketch Give a compact overview of who they were. Focus on roles and a few facts that matter for your story.
• Anecdotes Share one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them sensory and specific.
• What they taught us Sum up a value, habit, or legacy they left behind.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, call to action, poem line, or invite people to share memories after the service.

Openings you can steal

Openings are useful because they give you a moment to breathe. Say your name, your relationship, and one simple sentence that sets the tone.

• Hi. I m Jamie and I was Max s cousin and sometimes partner in crime. Today I want to tell you about how he ruined every camping trip with his excellent bad ideas and made those trips worth it.
• Hello. I m Priya. Ben and I grew up like siblings in a family of loud holidays and louder opinions. I will remember his laugh and the way he made a room feel like home.
• Good afternoon. I m Marcus and I was Elena s cousin. She collected awkward sweaters, terrible puns, and a surprising number of house plants. She made us all feel less alone.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a resume. Pick relevant facts that help the story you want to tell. Mention where they were from, what they loved, and a couple of roles they held.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place] and later moved to [city]. They worked as [job or role] and loved [hobby or passion]. They are survived by [family members].
• [Name] was the cousin who showed up for summer barbecues with a guitar and a terrible playlist. They believed in friends, fast coffee, and bad jokes.

Anecdotes that actually land

People remember stories. Choose one with a small setup, a surprising or emotional moment, and a line that tells why it matters.

Good anecdote examples

• When we were teenagers, my cousin Tara insisted she could build a raft. We spent a whole morning gathering wood and duct tape. It sank immediately. We laughed so hard we could not stop. That was Tara in a nutshell. She tried things with reckless optimism and made failure feel like a party.
• On rainy days my cousin Ben would call me just to play the same two songs and say I m thinking about you. It was a tiny ritual but it made me feel seen on days when everything else felt heavy.
• At family reunions, Alex did a ridiculous talent show act. He would balance three plates while telling jokes about our aunt s cooking. He made embarrassing moments into our favorite memories.

Addressing complicated relationships

Relationships with cousins can be messy. Maybe you drifted apart. Maybe you were never close. You can still speak honestly. Acknowledge complexity without turning the eulogy into a public therapy session. Focus on what you learned or a small memory that captures a truth.

Examples for complicated relationships

• We were never close the way some cousins are. Life pulled us in different directions. Still, the last time we spoke we fixed a small thing that had bothered me for years. That meant a lot.
• My cousin could be stubborn and blunt. It rubbed people the wrong way sometimes. It also meant he was honest when it mattered. I appreciated that, even when it was hard.

Using humor the right way

Humor can be a relief. Use earned, kind humor not jokes that single someone out or create awkwardness. Test it on a trusted relative if you are unsure.

Safe humor examples

• She kept a plant that outlived three roommates and two relationships. We started calling it her legacy project.
• If my cousin had a motto it would have been Don t panic, make coffee. Which is exactly the advice he gave during our first apartment move when nothing worked.

What to avoid in a eulogy for a cousin

• Avoid using the speech to settle family scores or air private grievances.
• Avoid a long list of achievements without stories that make them human.
• Avoid inside jokes that most people in the room will not get.
• Avoid reading without practicing. Speaking while tearing up is easier if you have practiced aloud.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples formatted for different tones. Replace bracketed text with your details and edit to sound like you.

Example 1: Close cousin like a sibling, 3 to 4 minute version

Hi. I m Sam and I was Katie s cousin which meant she was also my lifelong roommate of sorts. Katie grew up in the same neighborhood I did and we learned to skateboard on the same cracked sidewalk. She studied graphic design and later worked at a small studio where she made things that made people smile. Her superpower was taking messy feelings and turning them into stickers and little zines.

One memory I keep is the time she convinced me to move across the country with a spreadsheet that had zero logic and a lot of hope. We survived on instant noodles and each other s playlists. Some nights we would talk until sunrise and make plans that rarely worked but always felt necessary. Katie taught me how to be brave enough to try and gentle enough to apologize when things went sideways.

She loved terrible reality TV and refused to own a sweater without sequins. She loved deeply and loudly and left coffee cups everywhere. I will miss the way she texted me pictures of clouds with captions like This one looks like a taco. I will miss her messy kindness. Thank you for being here and for holding her memory with us.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hello. I m Lena and I was Marcus s cousin. Marcus had a laugh that made you forgive him for anything and a habit of turning every road trip into a live podcast of complaints. He loved pizza with pineapple and convinced half the family to try it. He taught me to be a little braver and to always carry a phone charger. We will miss his laugh. Thank you.

Example 3: Funny and warm for a celebration of life

Hey everyone. I m Priya, your cousin and unofficial archivist of all embarrassing photos. If you knew Aaron you know he had two loves, terrible puns and strong coffee. He once tried to open a coffee shop called Brewed Awakenings and the sign lasted a week before falling down. That was Aaron. Full of effort, low on signage skills, high on heart.

Aaron taught us how to be ridiculous and sincere at the same time. He made sure every family dinner had a joke someone would groan at and a hug that fixed things. Today we celebrate his knack for making small moments feel huge. Please share your worst photo of Aaron after the service. It will make him proud.

Example 4: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful

My name is Noor. My cousin Omar and I had a complicated history. We argued about politics and music and who had ruined the childhood couch. We were stubborn about different things. Still, when Omar got sick he called me late at night and admitted he was scared. That phone call was small and human and it changed how I remember him. I choose to remember the person who could admit fear and ask for help. I will miss that courage.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these to draft your own words. Read them aloud and trim anything that feels forced.

Template A: Short and sweet

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Cousin s Name] cousin. [Cousin s Name] loved [one hobby or habit] and worked as [job or role]. One memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [lesson or value]. Thank you for being here and for holding their memory with us.

Template B: For close like sibling

Hi, I m [Your Name]. [Cousin s Name] and I grew up like siblings. We did [shared memory]. They were the one I called when [small habit]. I will always remember [short sensory memory]. They made me better by [what they taught you].

Template C: For complicated relationships

I m [Your Name]. My relationship with [Cousin s Name] was not always easy. We fought about [small issue] and sometimes drifted apart. In the end we found [a moment of reconciliation or understanding]. If I could say one thing to them now it would be [short line].

Practical tips for delivery

These tactics help you stay steady while you speak.

• Print your speech Use a large font. Paper is less likely to slip out of your hands than a phone. Make a backup copy in your bag.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one or two lines each keep your place and make it easier to pause.
• Mark pauses Put a symbol where you want to breathe, laugh, or let the room react. Pauses are powerful.
• Practice aloud Read the eulogy to a friend or out loud to yourself. Practice makes your throat and memory cooperate.
• Bring tissues and water You are allowed to cry. A sip of water can reset your voice.
• Arrange a backup If you think you might not finish, have a family member ready to step in with a short line to close for you.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If no mic is available, project gently to the back row.

If you cry while reading

Tears are normal. Pause and breathe. Look down at your notes to steady yourself and then continue. If your voice cracks, slow down. Fewer words said slowly often have more weight. If you need a moment, take it. People will wait.

Including readings, poems, or music

Short readings work best. If you include a poem, choose a two to four line excerpt rather than an entire long piece. Confirm with the officiant and provide printed text in the program if possible. For music pick songs your cousin loved or a track that matches the tone of the event. Keep music short and use it to underline a moment, not to replace your words.

Logistics to check

• Confirm your time limit with the officiant or family organizer.
• Check whether there will be a microphone and who will operate it.
• Ask if the order of service will include a printed copy of your speech.
• Tell a trusted family member where you will stand and what signal you might use if you need a moment.

After the eulogy

People often ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family members or to provide it for a memory book. Some families include the eulogy in the printed program or save it in an online memorial. If you recorded the speech, check with family before posting it online. Some families prefer privacy.

Glossary of useful terms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket. Usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering focusing on stories and photos.
• Officiant The person leading the service, religious or secular.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to the cousin. A short opening line like Hello I m [Your Name] and I was [Cousin s Name] cousin helps you find your footing. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the mic.

What if I forget my place or cannot continue

Pause and breathe. Look at your notes. If you cannot continue ask a designated family member to step in. Having a short closing line written down for them helps in this situation.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes. Small, earned humor can open the room and make grief feel less heavy. Avoid jokes that might embarrass the deceased or exclude people in the audience. Follow humor with a sincere line to reconnect the tone.

How long should a eulogy for a cousin be

Aim for two to six minutes. Short and focused often carries more emotional weight than a long unfocused speech. Coordinate with other speakers so the service runs to plan.

Should I include religious language if the family is not religious

Only if it was meaningful to your cousin or the family. If religion was not central choose secular language, poems, or readings that match the family s values instead.

Is it okay to read the eulogy from my phone

Yes but be careful about screen brightness and accidental notifications. Many people prefer paper or printed index cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high. If you use a phone, put it on Do Not Disturb.

Can I record and share the eulogy online

Ask the family before posting. Some families want privacy. If sharing is approved add a short description and be mindful of the deceased s preferences.