How to Write a Eulogy for Your Congregation Member - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Speaking about someone who served in your congregation can feel heavy and holy at the same time. You want to honor their faith and their service. You also want to say something useful for people who are grieving. This guide gives a clear method to write a eulogy for a congregation member. You will find practical examples, fill in the blank templates, tips for speaking within worship, and explanations of terms you may see.

Who this guide is for

This article is for pastors, lay leaders, elders, music directors, youth leaders, and any congregant asked to speak about someone from their church, synagogue, mosque, chapel, or spiritual community. If you are nervous about doctrinal language, unsure how to balance faith and personal stories, or have the added pressure of representing the congregation, this guide is for you.

What is a eulogy in a congregational setting

In a congregation the eulogy is a short speech that honors the life and impact of a member. Sometimes a eulogy appears as a separate moment. Other times it is part of a larger liturgy such as the homily, a remembrance time, or a celebration of life service. A eulogy is not a sermon. A sermon teaches or preaches. A eulogy remembers and gives thanks.

Terms you might see

• Officiant The person leading the service. This could be a pastor, rabbi, imam, chaplain, or a lay person given that role.
• Homily A short sermon typically related to a scripture reading. A homily differs from a eulogy because it focuses on the text rather than the person.
• Order of service The schedule for the worship or memorial listing prayers, readings, music, and speakers.
• Viewing or visitation A time before the service when people may see the deceased and offer condolences.
• Visitation list A written record of people who attended a visitation. It is different from an RSVP.
• Celebration of life A less formal worship style that emphasizes stories and gratitude rather than ritual protocol.

Before you start writing

Start with logistics and permission. Confirm where the eulogy fits in the order of service. Ask the family if they want a strictly personal tribute or a more congregational perspective. Find out if denominational language should be used. Get a time limit. Respecting these details prevents awkward moments during worship.

• Ask the family and officiant about tone and time Some families want the speech to be short and simple. Others want a fuller retelling of the person s church life. The officiant may also want to avoid repeating themes already planned for the homily.
• Gather material Talk to close friends, the pastoral care team, the choir, or the volunteer coordinator. Ask for one short story and one fact about the person s service such as years on the usher team or programs they started.
• Decide who you represent Are you speaking as a friend, a fellow volunteer, or as the congregation s leader? That choice changes your opening and the perspective you use.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember. That could be faith, generosity, humor, mentorship, or impact on the property fund. Three points keep the speech focused and memorable.

A structure that works in worship

Use a shape that fits both story and liturgy. Keep it short if the service has many elements. A good structure for a congregational eulogy is simple and flexible.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one sentence about the person s place in the congregation.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of the person s life with an emphasis on congregational roles and spiritual gifts.
• Stories Tell one or two short anecdotes that reveal character and that congregants will relate to.
• Impact Summarize what their presence taught the community and what will be missed.
• Closing Offer a short prayer, a blessing, a call to action, or an invitation for others to share memories.

Writing the opening

Open with clarity. In a worship setting people are listening for context. Start with your name, your role, and a single sentence that names the person and their relationship to the congregation.

Opening examples

• Good morning. I am Pastor Mia and I am honored to say a few words about James, who served on our outreach team for over twenty years.
• Hello. I am Ana, the choir director, and I knew Margaret as a friend who never missed a rehearsal and whose alto carried both melody and encouragement.
• My name is Daniel. I am a lay elder and I am speaking because many of you asked me to share what Michael meant to our community.

The life sketch for church members

Keep the life sketch concise and relevant. Highlight roles in the congregation and small details that reveal faith practices. Avoid listing every committee unless it tells the story you want to tell.

Life sketch templates for congregational context

• [Name] came to our congregation in [year]. They taught Sunday school, led the food pantry, and opened their home to youth group dinners. Faith actors in a community are often known by what they quietly do every week.
• [Name] served as our treasurer for [years]. They were meticulous with the books and generous with their time. Many of our ministries exist because of their steady service.

Anecdotes that resonate

Stories about the person in the context of worship are especially powerful. Keep anecdotes sensory and short. Aim for a setup, a small moment, and why it mattered to the congregation.

Examples of short congregation focused anecdotes

• Every winter Tom would arrive early to put salt on the steps. He never announced it. He just wanted no one to slip. That small act became the congregation s quiet safety net.
• During choir practice Lila always brought extra copies of sheet music and extra patience for those who learned slowly. She taught people to sing not just notes but welcome.
• When the food pantry shelves were nearly empty, Jenna organized a one week push and brought a cooler of her own freezer meals to donate. She showed generosity as a practice not a performance.

Balancing faith language and inclusivity

If your congregation is theologically diverse name the person s beliefs in a way that honours them. Use personal examples of faith practice rather than heavy doctrinal language unless that is expected. If the family prefers a secular tone respect that choice. You can always include a brief prayer at the end for those who want to participate and offer a moment of silence for those who do not.

What to avoid when you speak in a worship service

• Avoid long theological tangents that distract from the person you are honoring.
• Avoid private family disputes or details that could embarrass relatives.
• Avoid politics unless it was central to the person s identity and the family is comfortable with it.
• Avoid repeating material that will be used by the officiant in the homily.

Examples you can adapt

Below are full examples tailored to common congregational roles. Replace bracketed text with your details and edit to fit your voice.

Example 1: Church volunteer, three to four minute version

Hello. I am Sam and I served with Maria on the food pantry team. Maria began volunteering here with her family fifteen years ago. She showed up on weekdays and weekends and somehow remembered everyone s favorite soup. One small memory is from the summer when the cooler failed and she organized a neighborhood potluck so no one went without food. Her leadership was steady and never loud. We will miss her practical faith and her constant presence. Let us take a moment to offer thanks for the hands that fed so many. Thank you Maria for teaching us that care is a weekly habit.

Example 2: Choir member with warmth and humor

Good morning. I am the choir director and I want to remember Ben. If you heard him sing you know his voice could stop a Sunday argument and make it a prayer. He had two rules. Rule one was always bring snacks. Rule two was always clap after the last verse. He taught us to celebrate small victories in rehearsal. Ben also had a way of reminding people to come early and stay late. His generosity was mostly time given. We will miss his alto and his snacks. Please join me in a moment of silence and then in singing a verse in his memory.

Example 3: Pastor or clergy giving a brief congregational tribute

My name is Pastor Jonah and I have had the privilege of walking alongside Ruth for a decade. Ruth modeled what faithful service can look like when it is wrapped in hospitality. She hosted newcomers, visited the sick every Tuesday, and made sure every child had a coat in winter. Ruth told me once that small kindnesses were her prayer. That sentence is Ruth s legacy. We grieve and we give thanks. Let us pray for comfort and for courage to keep Ruth s practice alive among us.

Example 4: Youth leader remembering a mentor

Hello. I am Maya from the youth program. Coach Aaron was the kind of leader who taught us to try and to fail and to try again. He never let competition replace compassion. At last year s service day he stayed until every kid had a paint brush and a smile. He taught us to measure success by who we helped not by who cheered loudest. We will try to teach the same lesson. Thanks Coach for believing in us when we barely believed in ourselves.

Fill in the blank templates for congregational use

Use these templates to draft your remarks quickly. Keep them short and then personalize with a story.

Template A: Leader or pastor

My name is [Your Name] and I serve as [role]. [Name] served our congregation as [role] for [years]. They were known for [trait]. One memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. We will miss [what will be missed]. Let us give thanks for their life and support one another as we grieve.

Template B: Friend or volunteer

Hi. I am [Your Name]. I volunteered beside [Name] on [ministry]. [Name] taught me to [lesson]. The memory I keep is [brief anecdote]. Their faith was shown in small acts like [example]. Thank you for being here and for honoring their life.

Template C: Short congregational call to action

I am [Your Name]. [Name] lived out faith by [habit]. If you want to honor them in the coming weeks consider [practical action]. Small acts keep legacies alive. Thank you.

Delivering the eulogy in a worship setting

Speaking from the pulpit or at a lectern is different than a living room speech. The room, the lectern, and the expectation of liturgy matter. Use these practical tips to stay steady.

• Coordinate with the officiant Confirm where you will stand, whether you will use a microphone, and if the congregation will sing before or after your words.
• Use a printed copy Bring a printed copy with large fonts. Index cards with one idea per card can also help.
• Mark pauses Put bracketed notes where you want to pause for prayer, for music, or for applause. Pauses are part of worship rhythm.
• Practice with sound If possible practice once at the venue or with the mic you will use. It helps with pacing.
• Keep announcements separate Congregational announcements belong to the service leader. Focus your words on memory and gratitude.

When the relationship with the deceased was complicated

Grace and truth work together. You can be honest about complexity while showing respect for the space. If the family asks you to speak, focus on specific contributions or moments instead of reliving conflict. A short, honest line can acknowledge difficulty and still offer thanksgiving.

Example lines for complexity

• My relationship with [Name] had its challenges. We argued and we forgave. In the end we shared a small peace that I am grateful for.
• [Name] could be blunt and that sometimes hurt. They also taught me to be direct and to stand for what is right.

Logistics to confirm before speaking

• Confirm time limit with the family or officiant.
• Ask whether music or a prayer will follow your words.
• Check microphone availability and whether a slide with photos will be shown.
• Give the officiant a copy of your remarks if they want to include them in the bulletin or memory book.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Officiant Person who leads the worship or memorial service.
• Homily A short sermon that is usually based on scripture.
• Order of service The written or printed schedule of what will happen during the worship or memorial.
• Visitation A time before the funeral for people to offer condolences.
• Celebration of life A less formal service focused on sharing stories and giving thanks.
• Bulletin The printed program handed out at the service with readings, songs, and the order of worship.

Frequently asked questions

Who should speak for a congregation member

People who speak well for the congregation are often family members, close friends, the person s pastor, or a ministry leader. If many people want to speak coordinate times and keep individual remarks short so the service remains focused.

Can a pastor do both the homily and a eulogy

Yes a pastor can do both. If you are the officiant be mindful of balance. Keep the homily about scripture and pastoral care and keep the eulogy about the person s life and impact. If you do both consider shorter remarks in one or both parts.

Should eulogies in a worship service include scripture or prayer

Include scripture or prayer if that reflects the person s faith or the family s wishes. If you include a short prayer be clear that it is optional for attendees who hold different beliefs. A moment of silence can serve the same purpose for a mixed congregation.

How do I handle a multi faith or non religious family

Ask the family what they want. You can honor religious practices respectfully while keeping the language inclusive. Offer a brief blessing for those who want it and a moment of silence for those who prefer no prayer.

What if I cry while speaking

Pause, breathe, and continue when you can. The congregation will be supportive. If you cannot continue ask a designated person beforehand to step up for a sentence or two. Practicing with a friend can reduce the chance of losing your place.

Is it okay to ask others to share memories after my eulogy

Yes, but coordinate with the officiant. Open floor sharing can be meaningful, but it can also extend timing. Consider asking people to sign up for a memory book or to speak briefly after the formal service if many people want to share.