How to Write a Eulogy for Your Companion - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Saying something true about the person who shared your life feels impossible and necessary at the same time. Whether your companion was a partner, spouse, life mate, or chosen family member you want language that honors the relationship without collapsing under the weight of grief. This guide gives you practical steps, inclusive wording options, and ready to use examples you can adapt. We explain terms you might not know and offer delivery tips that actually work for someone who is nervous about speaking while grieving.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a companion at a funeral, memorial, wake, graveside, or celebration of life. That includes people who were married, partnered, dating, cohabiting, or in a committed relationship. It also includes people in non traditional relationships like polyamory or chosen family bonds. If you are the person who knew the small details of their socks and their heart you are the person who can make this welcome and human.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a speech that honors a person who has died. It appears during a funeral or memorial service and is meant to share memories, character, and what the person meant to those present. A eulogy differs from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that gives basic facts and service details. A eulogy is personal. It is a short story told to a room of people who loved or respected the person.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and service arrangements.
• Order of service The sequence of events during the ceremony. It acts like the program and tells the audience what happens when.
• Officiant The person leading the ceremony. This could be a clergy person, celebrant, friend, or family member.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often emphasizes stories, photos, and music rather than ritual.
• Chosen family People who are family by support and care rather than by blood or legal ties. Many companions are also chosen family members.
• Legal partner A spouse or person who has legal recognition. This matters for logistics like signing documents but not for the worth of your speech.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and clear is better than long and rambling. Aim for three to seven minutes. That usually translates to about 400 to 800 spoken words. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times so the service stays on schedule and everyone who needs to speak gets a turn.

Plan before you write

Solid preparation makes the writing and the delivery easier. Use this simple plan before you put words on the page.

• Ask about time and tone Confirm with the officiant or close family how long you are expected to speak and whether the tone should be solemn, celebratory, or a mix.
• Collect memories Ask friends or family for one or two stories each. Small details like a favorite jacket, a ritual at bedtime, or a pet name will give your speech texture.
• Choose three focus points Pick three things you want people to leave remembering. That might be kindness, stubborn curiosity, and an amazing laugh. Three points keep the speech shaped and memorable.
• Decide the opening and closing A clear opening grounds you. The closing can be a stanza, a brief quote, a call to light candles, or a one line goodbye.

Structure that works

Use a simple structure to help you and your listeners.

• Opening Say your name, your relationship to the companion, and one sentence about what you want the room to remember.
• Life sketch Give a short overview of who they were and the roles they played. Dates are optional. Focus on human things like hobbies, jobs, and habits.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them sensory and with a payoff that explains why the story matters.
• Meaning and lessons Tell people what the companion taught you or the group. Be specific about traits you will miss.
• Closing Offer a single line goodbye, a small request to the audience, or a quote that fits the tone.

How to write the opening

Your opening should be simple and steady. Start with your name and relationship to the companion. Then say one clear sentence that sets the tone.

Opening examples

• Hi. I am Jordan and I was Casey s partner for seven years. Today I want to remember how they made ordinary days feel like small celebrations.
• Hello. I m Avery and I am their spouse. If you knew them you know two things. They loved terrible puns and they never turned down a road trip opportunity.
• Good afternoon. I m Sam and I am honored to speak as their chosen family. They taught me how to be brave and how to cook the perfect omelet at three in the morning.

Writing the life sketch

The life sketch is not a complete biography. Pick details that support your story and avoid listing every job or award. Focus on roles and habits that lit the person up.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place]. They loved [hobby] and worked as [job]. They were a partner, friend, and someone who never turned down a last minute concert.
• After moving to [city] they built a life around good coffee, terrible house plants, and an ability to make any guest feel welcome. They were generous with time and quick with a joke.

Anecdotes that stick

Stories are how people remember a person. Pick one or two short memories that show who the companion was. Keep them specific and end with why the story matters.

Quick anecdotes you can adapt

• Once on a road trip the car broke down. They turned the situation into a picnic and a playlist. We ate sandwiches on the hood and laughed until the repairman arrived. That was their superpower to make stress feel temporary.
• They had a ritual of leaving sticky notes around the apartment with tiny compliments. Years later I still find one in the pages of a book and feel seen again.
• They adopted every stray creature they found. Our cat started as a neighborhood friend who followed them home and never left.

Addressing complicated relationships

Relationships with companions are often complicated. If things were messy you can still speak honestly and respectfully. You do not have to hide pain or air grievances. Focus on truth and dignity instead.

Ways to phrase complexity

• We had a relationship that was sometimes difficult. We grew in ways we did not expect and we learned to forgive. I value the final conversations we had.
• They were not perfect. They made mistakes and they tried to make them right. I am grateful for the ways they kept showing up.
• Our story was messy and beautiful. The last year gave us a chance to find a quieter, kinder way to be together.

Using humor without losing tone

Humor helps people breathe. Use small, earned jokes that come from real moments and that the room will understand. Avoid humor that embarrasses the deceased or singles out someone in the audience.

Safe humor ideas

• Mention a tiny quirk like their obsession with matching socks and how it led to a drawer full of unmatched possibilities.
• Note the ways they broke rules in charming ways like always ordering dessert first at restaurants.

What to avoid in a eulogy for your companion

• Avoid private disputes or naming people involved in ongoing conflict. The memorial is for shared remembrance not family court.
• Avoid long lists of professional accomplishments without emotional context. Achievements matter but people remember stories.
• Avoid clichés without a personal detail to back them up. Saying they were loving is fine. Saying they always knew best is better when you give a one line example.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples with different tones. Replace bracketed text with your details and edit so the voice sounds like you.

Example 1: Quiet and heartfelt, about four minutes

Hello. I am Leia and I was Marcus s partner for twelve years. Marcus loved maps and the way a good coffee could fix most mornings. He worked as a teacher and treated every student like someone worth staying late for.

One small memory I keep is how he would stand in the doorway with two mugs when the rain started. He did not say much. He just handed you the warm mug and sat down. That was him showing care in the quietest way.

Marcus taught me patience and how to notice small acts of kindness that pile up into a life. I will miss his steady presence and his habit of making playlists that matched the mood of the kitchen. Thank you for being here and for the ways you loved him. If you have a small story to share after this I would be grateful because he loved hearing other people's memories almost as much as he liked telling his own.

Example 2: Short and modern under two minutes

Hi. I m Alex and I was Morgan s partner. Morgan loved bad puns, midnight tacos, and spontaneous road trips. They taught me how to dance awkwardly and without shame which has been one of the greatest gifts. We will miss their laugh and the way they always pointed out the good in a weird movie. Thanks for coming to celebrate them with us.

Example 3: Funny and affectionate, celebration of life tone

Hello everyone. I m Priya and I had the pleasure of being Jordan s partner. Jordan had three rules in our home. Rule one was that plants must be named. Rule two was that pizza is always acceptable for breakfast. Rule three was that you cannot leave a party early without at least three hugs. They lived by those rules and made our house ridiculous and warm. Today we celebrate the ridiculousness and the warmth and we will try to follow rule three as long as we can.

Example 4: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful

My name is Caleb. Our relationship with Taylor was complicated and real. We fought about money and we fought about leaving socks on the floor and sometimes we did not speak for days. We also learned, slowly, how to listen. In recent years we found a rhythm that felt gentler. I am grateful for the chances we had to say sorry and for the ways Taylor taught me to keep showing up. I will miss them fiercely.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these to get started. Fill the brackets and then read it out loud and trim anything that feels forced.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I was [Companion s Name] partner. [Name] loved [hobby], worked as [job], and had a talent for [small habit]. One memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Name] was messy and honest. We argued about [small example] and we made up over [small ritual]. In the end I am grateful for [something positive you learned]. If I could say one thing now it would be [line you want to say].

Template C: Light and humorous

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Name] was to know that [quirky habit]. They also made sure you never left hungry and always left you with a laugh. My favorite memory is [funny short story]. We will miss their jokes and their midnight snacks. Please laugh with us as we remember them.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics help you stay steady and human.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is often more reliable than a phone and easier to hold when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one or two lines on each card prevent you from losing your place and let you look up to the audience often.
• Mark pauses Put a note where you want to breathe or where laughter might land. Pauses give you space to feel and the audience time to react.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, a mirror, or your dog. Practice tells your throat how the words should flow.
• Bring tissues and water Keep a small bottle of water and tissues nearby in case you tear up or your voice tightens.
• Plan a signal Arrange with someone to step in if you need help finishing your final line. A short prearranged signal can be comforting.
• Mind the mic Keep the microphone a few inches away and speak at a normal volume. If there is no mic project slowly and clearly to the back of the room.

What to do if you cannot finish

If you start crying and cannot continue pause and breathe. Look down and sip water. The audience will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to finish your last sentence. Sometimes saying fewer words more slowly is the most powerful choice.

Including readings, poems, and music

Short readings and song snippets work best. If you include a poem choose an excerpt of two to four lines rather than a long reading. Check with the officiant that the music fit the schedule and provide printed text in the program when possible.

Legal and logistical notes

• If you were a legal partner discuss with the funeral director or officiant any wishes your companion had about the ceremony.
• Tell the person running the order of service if you will need a microphone or if you want a particular song played before or after your speech.
• Provide a copy of your speech to the officiant if you want it included in the program or memory book.

Including chosen family, friends, and non romantic partners

If your companion was part of a larger chosen family acknowledge the network of people who cared for them. Use inclusive language like partner, companion, or friend if marriage or legal status feels awkward to mention. Naming the different roles the person held can help people feel seen whether their relationship was romantic, platonic, or both.

Eulogy for a companion who was a pet

Many people call their pet a companion. If you are speaking about a beloved animal keep the same structure. Start with your name and role like I am Taylor and I was Charlie s human. Tell the brief life sketch, one or two anecdotes that reveal personality, and the small lessons like unconditional joy and presence. Pets are family and their losses deserve simple truthful language.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech that honors a person who has died. It is often part of a funeral or memorial.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details and brief biographical facts.
• Order of service The schedule for the ceremony listing speakers, music, and readings.
• Officiant The person leading the ceremony. They can be clergy, a celebrant, or a trusted friend.
• Chosen family People who are family by care and commitment rather than by blood or legal relationships.
• RSVP An abbreviation of the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used to ask people to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy for my companion if I am nervous

Begin with your name and relationship to the deceased. A short opening like Hello I am [Your Name] and I was [Name] companion gives you context and buys a breath to steady. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will help steady you at the microphone.

What if our relationship was complicated and I do not want to lie

Be honest without being hurtful. You can acknowledge difficulty and point to one small reconciliation or lesson. Say something like We had hard times and we also found ways to care for each other. That kind of truth is respectful and real.

Can I include humor in a eulogy

Yes. Small earned humor is often welcome and helps people breathe. Use jokes that come from real moments and avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or others in the room.

Is it okay to read the eulogy from my phone

Yes you can, but make sure the screen will not lock and the device will not ring. Many people prefer printed paper or index cards because they are easier to manage when emotions run high.

Should I mention the legal status of the partnership

Only if it matters for the ceremony or family. You can use partner spouse or companion depending on what feels true and comfortable. The legal label does not change the value of what you say.

How should I end the eulogy

End with a single sentence that sums up what you want people to remember. That could be a short request like Please tell one story about them later, a line from a poem, or a direct goodbye like I will love you always.