How to Write a Eulogy for Your Commander - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your commander can feel like a heavy responsibility and also a deeply personal chance to honor someone who led you. Whether your commander was in the military, law enforcement, maritime service, or in a civilian command role, this guide helps you craft a sincere tribute. You get clear structure, real examples that fit different tones, templates you can personalize, and plain explanations of terms and protocols you might encounter.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a commander at a funeral, memorial, promotion board memorial, repast, or interment. Maybe you were the immediate subordinate who stood next to them in the field. Maybe you were a junior officer shaped by their guidance. Maybe your commander was a mentor, a friend, or a tough leader who pushed you to be better. The examples include formal military style and more informal personal tones so you can pick what fits the context.

What is a eulogy for a commander

A eulogy is a short speech that honors the person who has died. When the subject is a commander you may also need to balance protocol with personal memory. A commander often holds a rank and a position that matter to service members and to the family. Your remarks should respect that role while still being human and honest.

Terms and acronyms you might see

• Eulogy A short speech given at a funeral or memorial that shares memories, character, and meaning about the person who died.
• Honor guard A military or service team that performs ceremonial duties at funerals such as presenting the flag and firing a salute.
• Military funeral honors Ceremonial elements provided by the military which may include an honor guard, folding and presenting the flag, and playing Taps.
• Taps A bugle tune often played at military funerals to mark the end of the day and to honor the deceased.
• Flag fold The ceremonial folding of the national flag that is presented to the next of kin at many military funerals.
• Casualty assistance A service provided to families by the military or agency to help with burial benefits and arrangements. This is sometimes called casualty assistance officer or casualty assistance representative.
• VA Stands for the Department of Veterans Affairs in the United States. If you are in another country check the relevant veterans agency. The VA can help with burial benefits and headstones.
• DD214 A US form that documents military service. It is often needed for benefits and burial arrangements. If you are not in the US, your local service record will have a similar document.
• Pallbearer Person chosen to help carry the casket. Pallbearers are often close colleagues, subordinates, or friends.

How long should a eulogy for a commander be

A good length is three to seven minutes. That is usually about 400 to 800 spoken words. Formal ceremonies sometimes require shorter remarks. Ask the family or the officiant about time limits so you do not break protocol or delay other elements of the service.

Before you start writing

Preparation makes the task less intimidating and ensures your remarks fit the ceremony.

• Confirm protocol Talk with the family, funeral director, or the casualty assistance officer to understand if there are specific customs to follow during the service.
• Decide the tone If the event is a full military honors funeral keep the tone respectful and slightly formal. If it is a celebration of life or a unit memorial you can be more personal and candid.
• Gather material Collect dates, rank and assignments, awards if relevant, nicknames, memorable orders, and short stories from peers and subordinates.
• Choose two to three focus points Pick two or three central ideas you want listeners to remember such as leadership style, an important accomplishment, or a personal trait.

Structure that works

Use a simple structure that honors both the role and the person.

• Opening Identify yourself, your rank if appropriate, and your relationship to the commander. If protocols require using rank and last name open with that then shift to first name if the family wants it.
• Life and service sketch Give a concise overview of service and roles that matter for the audience. Include rank, key assignments, and a short note about awards or notable acts only if they are relevant to the story.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character and leadership. Specific moments resonate more than long lists of achievements.
• Lessons and legacy Summarize what the commander taught others and what the unit will carry forward.
• Closing Offer a final line of farewell, a quote, or an instruction for a moment of silence or collective salute if that will happen next.

How to open when rank matters

Start with rank and name to acknowledge the commander s position and to give context to listeners who might not know the full background. Then transition to a personal introduction.

Opening examples

• Captain James Carter served as our company commander for four years. My name is Lieutenant Anna Morales and I had the honor of serving as his executive officer.
• Commander Lee Park was both our ship s leader and a friend. I am Petty Officer Second Class Marcus Reed and I stood watch with him many nights on the bridge.
• Colonel Maria Alvarez led the battalion with clarity and calm. I am Major Samir Patel and she was my mentor from day one.

Writing the life and service sketch

Keep the service overview short and meaningful. Avoid reading the entire service record. Mention the details that add to the story you are telling such as a deployment, a specific command, or a community program they championed.

Life and service sketch templates

• [Rank] [Full Name] served in [branch or agency] for [number] years. They commanded [unit or ship] and were deployed to [place or mission]. Outside the uniform they loved [hobby or family detail].
• [Rank] [Last Name] began service as a [initial rank or role]. Over the years they earned [awards or assignments]. They were known for [one word or short phrase such as decisiveness or compassion].

Anecdotes that work

Stories should be short and show leadership values. Use sensory details and a clear payoff. A setup, an action, and a line that explains why it mattered is all you need.

Good anecdote examples

• During a night exercise when morale was low, he walked the line and made a point to ask one honest question. By the time the sun rose the entire unit was joking again and ready to move. That small moment is how he led us publically and privately.
• She cancelled a weekend off to drive a soldier home after a family emergency. The next week she asked everyone to make sure they had a plan for caring for one another. Her actions taught us what loyalty looks like in practice.
• On a long deployment he brought a battered paperback and read aloud during down time. He never pretended to be perfect. He just showed up and that made a difference.

Balancing formal honors and personal memory

Formal elements like a flag presentation, an honor guard, and Taps are powerful and meaningful. Your words should support those moments. Coordinate with the person running the service so your closing line lines up with the scheduled honors. Never upstage formal protocol and always confirm whether family prefers a very personal approach or a formal one.

How to address complicated relationships

A commander may have been strict or made unpopular decisions. Honesty is okay as long as you are respectful. Focus on lessons learned and on how their direction shaped you or the unit. You do not need to air grievances in a public setting.

Examples for complexity

• He could be demanding and uncompromising. That made us better prepared. Today I am grateful for the standards he set even when they were hard to meet.
• She pushed people harder than anyone else I knew. It was not easy at the time. Now I see how those moments taught me to lead with clarity and purpose.
• We did not always agree. Still, she listened when it mattered and that showed a humility I will try to emulate.

Examples you can adapt

Formal military style example

Good morning. I am Lieutenant Anna Morales. I had the honor of serving under Captain James Carter as his executive officer for three years.

Captain Carter served in the infantry for twenty three years and commanded our company during two deployments. He believed in careful planning and even more in showing up for his people. I remember one night in country when a supply convoy was delayed and tempers were high. He gathered the squad leaders and quietly asked for updates. His calm gave the rest of us the space to do our jobs and to bring everyone home. That patience and attention to people was his leadership.

He taught us to prepare for the worst and to care for one another while we did it. We will honor his memory by keeping those standards and by looking out for the next person in the formation. Presenting his rank and record is proper. I would now ask everyone to stand and join me in a moment of silence as we remember his service and his care.

Personal and warm example for a unit memorial

Hello. I am Corporal Jamie Nguyen. Captain Lopez was the leader who always remembered to ask how your kids were doing and who actually listened to the answer.

She ran training hard and she laughed harder. One deployment she brought a small portable speaker and turned a muddy road into a dance floor during a long stop. That memory shows how she balanced discipline with humanity. Her leadership was real because she cared about the people she led. I will miss her jokes and the way she made us feel like a family. Thank you for being here.

Short example for a condensed program

My name is Petty Officer Marcus Reed. Commander Park taught me to be precise, to value silence before action, and to own my mistakes. Those few lessons changed the way I lead. Thank you for the time we had with him. Please join me in a brief silence.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates and replace bracketed text with your details. Edit for tone and length and read aloud to see what feels natural.

Template A: Formal, 3 to 5 minutes

Good [time of day]. I am [Rank and Name]. I served as [position] under [Rank Full Name]. [Rank Last Name] served in [branch or agency] for [years]. They led [unit or ship] during [notable assignment], and they were known for [two traits]. One story that sums up how they led is [brief anecdote]. They taught us [lessons]. We will honor their memory by [action or commitment]. Please join me in remembering them with a moment of silence.

Template B: Personal, 2 to 4 minutes

Hello. I am [Name and rank if appropriate]. [First Name] was someone who [kind of person detail]. My favorite memory is [short story]. That story shows how they [value or trait]. I learned [lesson]. Thank you for being here and for holding their memory with us.

Template C: Short for limited time

My name is [Name]. [Rank Last Name] taught me to [brief lesson]. We will remember their service and their care. Thank you for joining us to honor them.

Practical delivery tips

• Confirm placement in the order of ceremony If a bugle call, flag presentation, or honor guard follows your remarks coordinate timing so your closing lines lead naturally into that moment.
• Use printed notes Large font on a single page helps if you are emotional. Index cards with one or two lines each work well too.
• Practice with uniform or proper attire If you will be in uniform practice how you will stand, whether to salute, and where to place your hands. Protocol varies so ask the person running the service.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you expect the audience to respond or where a pause will let a line land. Pauses are powerful.
• Be mindful of salute etiquette If you are in uniform and a flag is presented or Taps is played follow service rules about saluting. If you are civilian do not salute. Stand respectfully and follow family cues.
• Keep it measured Speak slowly and clearly. Allow the microphone to carry your voice. If there is no microphone project so the family in the back can hear.

What to avoid

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a command history readout. People want stories and meaning more than a timeline of assignments.
• Avoid controversial operational details that could breach security or upset family members.
• Avoid humor about sensitive incidents. Light memories are fine when they are respectful and clearly kind.
• Avoid criticizing the commander in public. If there are unresolved issues consider private conversations with family or unit leaders later.

Logistics and who to notify

• Check with the casualty assistance representative or the funeral director about military honors, flag presentation, and whether an honor guard will be present.
• Confirm parking, arrival time, and where speakers will stand so you make a smooth transition in the program.
• Give a copy of your remarks to the officiant or the person running the order of service in case they need to coordinate the next element.

After the eulogy

People will often ask for a copy. Offer to email it to the family or to provide a printed copy for the unit s memory book. If the family wants, your words can be included in a program or a memorial webpage. Recording the audio and sharing it privately with the family can be comforting for those who could not attend.

Glossary of useful terms

• Honor guard A team that performs ceremonial duties at services.
• Military funeral honors Ceremonial elements such as flag presentation and Taps. Rules vary by country and branch.
• Taps A bugle call often played at military funerals.
• Casualty assistance officer A person assigned to help the family with arrangements and benefits after a service member dies.
• DD214 A US service document used for benefits and verification of service. Other countries have similar records.
• Pallbearer Person who helps carry the casket.
• Flag fold The ceremonial folding of the national flag to present to the next of kin.

Frequently asked questions

Do I have to use the commander s rank when I speak

Start with rank and last name to acknowledge the official role. If the family prefers a first name after that you can transition to it. Check with the family ahead of time to match their wishes and the ceremony s tone.

What if the ceremony includes formal military honors

Coordinate with the person running the service. Make sure your closing line lines up with the honors and that you do not speak during a scheduled bugle call, flag presentation, or rifle salute. The officiant or casualty assistance officer can help you time your remarks.

Can I include jokes about my commander

Small, earned humor that signals affection is usually okay. Avoid jokes that could embarrass the family or that touch on operational vulnerabilities. When in doubt choose a warm story over a risky punchline.

How do I handle crying or losing my place

Pause, take a breath, and look at your notes. The audience will wait. If you think you might not finish arrange for a colleague to be ready to finish the final line. Practice can reduce the chance of getting lost.

Who is appropriate to serve as a pallbearer

Pallbearers are usually close colleagues, friends, or family. If the family wishes for unit members to serve follow the funeral director s instructions for timing and safety if a casket is present.

Are there any words to avoid because of protocol

Avoid revealing classified or sensitive operational details. Do not announce casualty causes or operational specifics without family approval and clearance from the relevant authority. Keep the speech focused on character and leadership.