How to Write a Eulogy for Your Co Sister In Law - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Being asked to speak about your co sister in law feels oddly specific and sometimes a bit awkward. You might have loved her like a friend or felt a polite distance. You might be a spouse, a sibling, or another relative and you want to honor her in a way that feels true. This guide gives a straightforward plan, real examples you can adapt, and templates that make the writing part less scary. We explain any terms you might not know and include tips for delivery so your words land like you want them to.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to give a eulogy for their co sister in law at a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life. Maybe you were chosen because you were close, maybe because you are the calm public speaker in the family, or maybe because you were the person who shared the funniest brunchs. If your relationship with her was close, casual, complicated or new, you can use these examples and templates to shape something honest and kind.

What does co sister in law mean

Co sister in law is a term people use to describe the sister in law who is a sibling of your spouse or the wife of your sibling in law. Family words can feel clumsy. If you prefer, use sister in law and then clarify your relationship when you speak. For example you can say I was Maya s sister in law through marriage to her brother Daniel.

Terms you might see

• Eulogy A short speech at a funeral or memorial that honors the person who died. It is personal and story driven.
• Obituary A published notice of a death that includes basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service details.
• Order of service The program or timeline for the funeral, listing readings, music, and speakers.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to help carry the casket. Often family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. It can happen at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Stands for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

What is a eulogy and what should it do

A eulogy is not a full biography. It is a personal, brief account that helps people remember who the person was and what she meant in your life and the lives of others. The best eulogies pick a few clear ideas and bring them to life with one or two stories. Practical beats poetic when you are nervous. Truthful beats flashy when relationships are complicated.

How long should the eulogy be

Short and clear is better than long and vague. Aim for three to seven minutes. That usually equals about 400 to 800 spoken words. If you are nervous, shorter works. If other people are speaking, coordinate times so the overall service stays on schedule.

Before you start writing

Preparation makes the writing faster and the delivery steadier. Try this quick checklist.

• Ask the family or officiant about time limits Confirm how much time you have and where you fit in the order of service.
• Clarify your relationship Decide how you want to introduce yourself. Saying I am [Name] and I was [Deceased] s sister in law through marriage to [Name] gives listeners context.
• Decide the tone Should it be solemn, warm, lightly funny, or a mix? Check with close family so you do not surprise anyone.
• Gather material Ask siblings, the spouse, and close friends for one memory each. Collect nicknames, habits, jobs, places she loved, and favorite sayings.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about her such as kindness, fierce loyalty, or terrible puns. Three points give shape without getting heavy.

Structure that works

Use this shape. It is simple and reliable.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to the deceased. Offer a single sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Briefly describe key roles she had such as daughter, sister, friend, partner, professional. Keep it short and human.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that show the personality you want people to remember.
• Traits and lessons Summarize what she taught people or the trait people will miss.
• Closing Offer a short goodbye line a quote a reading or a call to action like sharing a memory after the service.

Writing the opening

The opening is where you set the stage. Keep it simple. Start with your name and how you knew her. Then say one clear sentence about why you are speaking or what she meant. That first line steadies you and gives the audience context.

Opening examples

• Hello everyone I am Priya and I was Sinéad s sister in law. She loved doing Sunday crossword puzzles with the radio on low and asking about everyone s week.
• Hi I m Marcus. I am Ben s wife and I first met Carla at a family barbecue where she taught me how to grill without burning the buns.
• Good afternoon I m Jen. I was Maya s co sister in law through marriage to her brother Daniel. Maya was the person who showed up with soup and an oddly specific plant from her garden.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is the fast biography. Pick the details that matter to the story you want to tell. Do not try to list every accomplishment. Focus on roles hobbies and defining moments that help the audience see her.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place]. She worked as a [job] and loved [hobby]. She was a daughter a sister and a friend who always [habit].
• [Name] moved to [city] and became known for [skill or trait]. She married [partner] and helped build a family that adored her Sunday dinners and terrible movie choices.

Anecdotes that matter

Stories are how listeners remember people. Pick one or two short stories that reveal personality. Keep them sensory and finish with why they matter. A quick setup an action and a line that ties it back to character is enough.

Short anecdote examples

• She had a rule that any cake that looked slightly sad had to be decorated with sprinkles. Once she covered an entire store bought cake in a blizzard of sprinkles and declared it art.
• When I first moved to the city she left a bouquet of mismatched flowers on my doorstep with a note that said Welcome to chaos. That small welcome made the first week feel like home.
• She was the only person who could call a family meeting and make it feel like a podcast recording. She had a way of asking one question that got everyone to talk honestly for the first time.

Addressing complicated relationships

Not all relationships with a sister in law or co sister in law are simple. If you had difficulties you can still speak with dignity. Acknowledge complexity briefly and then offer an honest positive memory or what you learned. You do not need to air grievances in public. Leave intimate disputes for private conversations.

Examples for complicated relationships

• We did not always see eye to eye and we argued about small things like holiday plans. In the end she taught me how to apologize and how to mean it. That mattered to me.
• Our friendship grew slowly. At first we were polite then we became partners in crime during family gatherings. I will always remember how she made room for me at the table.
• She could be blunt and sometimes that stung. It also saved me from making bad calls. Her honesty was a gift when it came wrapped in kindness.

Using humor the right way

Light humor can be a blessing at a funeral. Use small earned jokes not shock value. Make sure the joke does not single out someone in the audience or make the deceased the butt of the joke. Test your lines with a trusted family member if you can.

Safe humor examples

• She was the kind of person who labeled leftovers like it was a crime prevention program. If you borrowed a Tupperware you were expected to return it with interest.
• She believed every plant needed a name and a pep talk. Our rubber plant is named Gerald and he survived three moves because she gave him pep talks daily.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid using the eulogy as a place to settle scores.
• Avoid long lists of achievements without story to make them human.
• Avoid private family secrets or gossip that might hurt people present.
• Avoid jokes that rely on embarrassing the deceased or other people in the room.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are full examples in different tones. Replace bracketed text with your details and edit the rhythm so it sounds like you.

Example 1: Two to three minute simple and warm

Hello everyone I am Laura and I was Nina s sister in law through her marriage to my brother Mark. Nina loved two things more than most people soap operas and giving the best advice you did not know you needed. She worked as a nurse and everyone who met her felt a little safer. One morning she drove two towns over to bring my dad a soup he said he did not want and then sat and watched the game with him like it was the most important task. That small kindness says everything about her. We will miss her laughter her terrible puns and the way she made space in her home and her heart for people. Thank you for being here and for holding her memory with us.

Example 2: Four to five minute with humor and depth

Hi my name is Aisha and I was Leila s sister in law. Leila had a curious routine. Every morning she would call someone in the family to remind them to drink water and then she would call back fifteen minutes later to make sure they had actually done it. She was a champion of hydration and commitment. Professionally she taught art classes to kids and she believed every child could be an artist if given glitter and encouragement. One afternoon she showed up at my house with a bag of glitter and convinced my son that finger painting counts as math if you count the blobs. That is who she was practical creative and endlessly patient. She did not have to fix every problem but she always noticed who needed a little lift and she gave it. If there is one thing I hope we take from Leila s life it is the practice of showing up small and often because those small acts add up to love.

Example 3: Honest and respectful for a complicated relationship

Good afternoon I am Tom and I was Claire s brother in law. Claire and I had our differences especially about holiday logistics and paint choices for the guest room. We argued and sometimes we were stubborn in ways that made things harder. Despite that we found a way back to one another more than once. In the last year she taught me to let go of perfection and to sit with people even when it is messy. I am grateful for those late night conversations and the quiet ways she showed care. I will miss her sharp wit and the fact that she always carried an extra charger and offered it without asking.

Example 4: Short celebration of life style

Hello I am Jenna and I was Maya s sister in law. Maya loved loud playlists and ugly sweaters. She believed every moment could use a little extra music. My favorite memory is of her turning a rainy afternoon into a dance party for the whole building. That was her superpower to turn ordinary days into something to laugh about later. Today we celebrate that energy and the small chaos she loved. Please join us in sharing one quick memory after this so we can laugh and cry together.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates to get started. Replace bracketed items and then read out loud to make it sound natural.

Template A Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I was [Deceased s Name] s sister in law through marriage to [Name]. [Deceased] loved [hobby or habit]. She worked as a [job] and people remember her for [trait]. One memory I will keep is [brief story]. She taught us [lesson]. Thank you for being here and for holding her memory with us.

Template B For a complicated relationship

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Deceased s Name] was not simple. We disagreed about [small example] but we also shared [positive element]. In her later years we [reconciled talked more found understanding]. If I could say one thing to her now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C Light and funny with sincerity

Hi I am [Your Name]. To know [Deceased s Name] was to know [quirky habit]. She also taught me the value of [practical skill or value]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. Even in the funny stuff she showed care. I will miss her jokes and the way she made every gathering feel like a reunion. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics keep you steady and help the audience connect.

• Print your speech Use large font and a simple layout. Phones can be fine but paper is less likely to slip and glare in bright rooms.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one or two lines per card are easy to handle and reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience might laugh. Pauses give you time to compose and the audience time to respond.
• Practice out loud Read to a friend a plant or your dog. Practice lets your throat know the rhythm and helps you find phrasing that feels natural.
• Bring tissues Or a handkerchief. Tears are normal. If you stop pause breathe and continue when you can. The audience will be patient.
• Arrange a fallback If you think you might not be able to finish ask a friend or family member to be ready to step in and read a closing line.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If there is no mic project to the back row and slow your pace.

When you want to cry while reading

If tears come that is okay. Pause take a breath and look down at your notes. Slow your pace and speak in shorter sentences. If your voice breaks let it. Many listeners find broken voices more honest than perfect ones. If you need a moment step aside and take it. People close to you can help pick up the thread if needed.

How to include readings poems and music

Short readings work best. If you include a poem pick a two to four line excerpt instead of a long piece. Music can be live or recorded. Coordinate with the officiant and the venue about when to play a track and how long it can be. Choose pieces that were meaningful to the deceased or that match the tone of the event.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or printed copies for the program.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the service so they can include it in a memory book if desired.

After you give the eulogy

People will likely ask for a copy. Offer to email or print one. Some families want the text included in the program or saved in a memorial book. You can also record audio and share it privately with family who could not attend. Ask permission before posting any recording online.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a bottle of water.
• Tell a close family member you might need a moment and arrange a signal if you want them to finish for you.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death with biographical and service details.
• Order of service The schedule or program that lists the sequence of events during a funeral.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket often a close friend or family member.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories photos and shared memories.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort for people nearing the end of life delivered at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Abbreviation of the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond used on invitations.
• Co sister in law A relative related by marriage who is the sister of your spouse or who is married into the same family as you are. Clarify how you are related when you speak to avoid confusion.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to the deceased. A short opening sentence like Hello I am [Your Name] and I was [Deceased s Name] s sister in law gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause breathe and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated family member or friend ready to step in. A short note someone else can pick up from helps in this scenario.

Should I use religious language if the family is not religious

Only if it was meaningful to the deceased or the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories instead. You can include a short poem or reading that fits the family s beliefs instead of prayer language.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes small earned humor can be healing. Use jokes that are rooted in real memories and test them with a trusted family member. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset other people in the room.

How do I write a eulogy if our relationship was distant

Stick to honesty and small concrete memories. You can say your relationship was not close and then share one true observation like how she loved hosting the holidays or the way she cheered for her niece at school events. Short sincere statements are often more meaningful than grand claims.

Is it okay to read the eulogy from my phone

Yes you can but make sure the screen is bright enough and the device will not ring. Many people prefer printed paper or index cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high.

How long should I speak

Three to seven minutes is a good target. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times and confirm limits with the family or officiant.