How to Write a Eulogy for Your Co Parent - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your co parent can feel uniquely complicated and necessary at the same time. You may be an ex partner who still shares parenting duties, a current partner who raised the kids together, a step parent, or the person who has stood beside the children through the years. This guide gives you clear steps, real examples you can adapt, and practical delivery tips. We explain terms you might not know and offer templates so you can start writing right away.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a co parent at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. Maybe you are the other parent who still shares custody. Maybe you are a step parent who raised the kids. Maybe you were once together and now you are estranged. There are examples for tender, funny, complicated, and very short needs. If children will be in the room this guide has specific language you can use to protect them while still honoring the person who helped raise them.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a speech that honors a person who has died. It appears during a funeral or memorial service and is meant to share memory and meaning rather than a list of facts. A eulogy is personal. It can be messy and still be right. It is not the same thing as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that lists biographical details, surviving family, and service times. The eulogy is your voice in the room.

Terms you might see

• Co parent A person who shares parenting responsibility for a child. This can include biological parents, adoptive parents, and people who took on parenting duties like step parents.
• Ex partner A former romantic partner or spouse who may still be involved with parenting and family life.
• Officiant The person leading the service. This could be a religious leader, a celebrant, or a family friend who agreed to lead.
• Order of service The list or program that shows how the funeral or memorial will proceed.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories, photos, and shared memories.
• POA Short for power of attorney. This is a legal designation for someone who can make decisions for another person, often used in end of life planning.
• Estate The collection of a person s assets and liabilities that are handled after death.

How long should a eulogy for a co parent be

Three to seven minutes is a good target. That is about 400 to 800 spoken words. If children will be present or if multiple people are speaking, aim shorter. A short sincere tribute is usually more moving than a long rambling one. If you feel the urge to tell many stories pick one or two that say everything you want to say.

Before you start writing

Write with intention. A few prep steps help the words arrive easier.

• Check the family plan Ask the officiant or the person organizing the service where your speech fits and how long they expect you to speak.
• Agree on tone Decide whether the service is formal, casual, celebratory, or reflective. If you are an ex partner talk with the children s primary caregiver and with any new partner about tone so nobody is surprised.
• Gather memories Ask your kids, siblings and close friends for one memory each. Small details make big impressions.
• Choose focus points Pick two or three things you want people to remember about this person as a parent. Keep the focus on those points.
• Consider the kids If children or teens will hear the speech make sure language respects their feelings and does not air adult grievances.

Structure that works for a co parent eulogy

Use a simple shape to keep you grounded and keep listeners with you.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to the person. If you are an ex partner that context matters in setting expectations.
• Life sketch Give a brief biographical note and then quickly move to parenting roles. Describe how they showed up as a parent.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal who they were with kids. Choose moments that show character not shame or conflict.
• What they taught Explain the lessons they passed on to the children and to you. This could be a value, a ritual, or a recurring habit.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short wish for the children, or a call to do something like light a candle or share a memory after the service.

Writing the opening when it is complicated

The opening gives you permission to be honest and kind. Keep it short and clear.

Example openings

• Hi I am Jordan. Ava and Noah call me Dad. I m here to say a few words about Sam who was always first in the car when a school field trip rolled around.
• Hello everyone. My name is Priya. I am Maya s co parent and I want to talk about how she made bedtime a tiny ceremony that still lives with our kids.
• Good afternoon. I am Jules. I was Robin s partner for ten years and the father of their two children. Losing Robin feels like losing the person who taught us how to keep a messy house gentle.

Life sketch for a co parent

Focus on roles and routines that mattered to family life. Dates are optional. Brief descriptions are more helpful than long lists of jobs.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was a parent to [names or number of children]. They worked as [job] but their real full time work was making sure the kids got to practice and that the dog never missed breakfast.
• Born in [place], [Name] moved to [city] and found a life that involved school pickups, soup for bad days, and a ridiculous collection of star stickers for good deeds.

Anecdotes that show parenting

Pick stories that show patience, silliness, discipline, presence, or the small rituals that shaped the children. Keep the stories short and sensory with one clear payoff.

Examples

• Every birthday they made pancakes shaped like animals. The pancakes were always slightly burnt and somehow glorious which is a good metaphor for how they handled life.
• They had a rule that every Tuesday was story night. Even when work kept them late they would read two pages and fall asleep mid sentence. The kids still read those same two pages together when they miss them.
• On bad days they drove around with the windows down and 90s pop blasting. It was their version of a therapy session and the kids knew it was time to laugh and sing along.

Addressing difficult relationships with honesty and dignity

Co parenting can be complicated. If the adult relationship was strained you can still give a eulogy that is fair and respectful. Avoid listing grievances. Acknowledge complexity and center what the children loved and will keep.

Examples for complicated situations

• We were not perfect together. We argued and we disagreed. Still, they loved our kids with a fierceness that did not require permission. For that I am grateful.
• They made mistakes and they made amends. The best gift they gave our children was a willingness to try again.
• We separated as partners but we never separated as parents. They were always at the games and they always showed up when it mattered.

Including a new partner or step family in your remarks

If your co parent had a new partner or blended family, honor those relationships. Use inclusive language and thank the people who supported them at the end of life. Check with the new partner about what they would like you to say and what they prefer you to avoid.

Sample lines

• Thank you to Jamie who loved them in the last years and who made sure they were never alone on hard days.
• They found a new family with Alex and their kids. That love was real and it gave our children more people to laugh with.

Using humor carefully

Humor can help people breathe. Use small earned jokes that the person themselves would have appreciated. Keep jokes kind and never use humor to deflect serious issues you have not addressed privately.

Safe humor examples

• They believed socks belonged in every drawer right up until the laundry day revealed otherwise. It was chaos and it was love.
• They were the only parent who could negotiate screen time into a philosophical conversation and then lose the argument anyway.

What to avoid in a co parent eulogy

• Do not use the eulogy to settle scores. Public services are not the place for private grievances.
• Do not make the children choose sides or place them in a loyalty bind.
• Avoid long legal or financial details. Those belong to the estate process not the memorial.
• Do not embarrass the deceased or anyone in the audience with harsh or revealing stories.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Example 1: Short and tender from a co parent

Hello. I am Casey. I am Morgan s co parent and the father of Lily. Morgan had a special way of making a Tuesday feel like a holiday. They made lunch notes that said things like You are brave enough and Hide your dino under your pillow if you need emergency courage. Those little notes taught Lily how to find comfort in small things. Morgan worked hard and loved loudly. They showed up for school plays, scraped knees with the same calm they used for big bills, and made sure our daughter knew she mattered. We will miss their pancakes and their particular way of saying I m proud of you. Thank you for being here and for keeping those small rituals alive with us.

Example 2: From an ex partner with honesty and warmth

Hi. I am Blake. I was Hannah s partner for six years. We split before our kids were teenagers but we never split from being parents together. Hannah had a laugh that could fill a car and a stubborn streak that taught our kids how to stand up for themselves. We had hard years and better years. In the end she taught me how to apologize without explaining and how to make sure soccer cleats were never ignored. I will miss her. Our children will miss her. I will try to honor her by being as present as she would have wanted.

Example 3: For a step parent who raised the kids

Good afternoon. I am Nia and I was Alex s spouse and the step mom to Sam and Max. Alex did not come into our lives half way through. They came all the way in. They learned every line from the bedtime book and they were there for every scraped knee. They found ways to be a parent that felt honest and brave. Sam and Max call them parent without the adjective and that feels right. They gave routines and stability and they made our house feel safe. We will miss the way they fixed things and the way they made terrible microwave popcorn taste like celebration. Thank you for loving them with us.

Fill in the blank templates for co parent eulogies

Use these templates and then edit them to make them sound like you. Read them aloud and trim any line that feels false.

Template A: Short and classic

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Name] s co parent and the mother father partner of [Child Name]. [Name] loved [hobby or small ritual]. They were the person who always [small parenting habit]. One story that shows who they were is [brief anecdote]. They taught our children [value]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for holding our family.

Template B: For a complicated adult relationship

My name is [Your Name]. [Name] and I were not always on the same page as partners. Yet as co parents we found a way to show up. They made mistakes and they tried to make them right. In their last years they [reconnected with the kids made peace made us laugh]. If I could say one thing today it would be [short line to them or the children].

Template C: For step parents and blended families

Hi I am [Your Name]. I was lucky to call [Name] my spouse and my children s step parent. They took on parenthood with curiosity and stubborn love. One memory that feels like them is [funny or tender story]. They gave [kids names] the gift of time and attention. For that we are grateful.

Practical tips for delivery

• Print your speech Use large font on paper or a printed program. Phones can be fussy when emotions are high.
• Use cue cards Index cards with a few lines each are easier to manage than a long page.
• Mark pauses Place a note where you want to breathe, laugh, or let the audience react.
• Practice with a friend Especially if it is a complicated relationship practice the tone so it lands as you intend.
• Talk about the children Use words like our kids or [child names] to show unity and to protect them from feeling divided.
• Bring water and tissues Keep a glass of water or a handkerchief nearby and a friend who can step in if you need a moment.
• Coordinate with other speakers If both parents will speak decide an order and keep each speech short so the service flows.

When children will be in the audience

If young kids are present keep language simple and avoid adult conflict. Focus on how the parent showed love. Offer a line the kids can hold on to like They loved you more than you can imagine and they wanted you to be brave and kind. If teens are present you can be slightly more candid but still avoid exposing family disputes in public.

Including readings, songs, and rituals

Short readings and personal rituals work well. You might ask children to light a candle or to place a favorite toy near the photo. If you include a poem pick two to four lines rather than an entire long poem. If music will play check with the family and the venue so the song can be cued at the right moment.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you need a microphone or a place for your notes.
• Confirm where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• If you are an ex partner tell the new partner what you plan to say so there are no surprises.
• Give a copy of your remarks to the person running the order of service in case they want to include text in a program or memory book.

After the eulogy

People may ask for a copy. Offer to email it to close family and friends. Some families place the text in a memory book or on a memorial website. If you record the audio check with the family before posting anything online. Respect for privacy matters especially when children are involved.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Co parent A person who shares parenting responsibility for a child.
• Officiant The person leading the funeral or memorial service.
• Order of service The schedule for the event listing speakers readings and music.
• Celebration of life A less formal event focused on stories photos and personal memories.
• POA Short for power of attorney. A legal role that may manage health care or financial decisions before death.
• Estate The assets and liabilities left after a person dies. Estate matters are handled by executors lawyers and courts if necessary.

Frequently asked questions

Can an ex partner give a eulogy for a co parent

Yes. Many ex partners remain the most knowledgeable about the parenting life. Speak with close family and the officiant about tone and timing. Focus on parenting memories and avoid airing past relationship disputes.

Should I mention the new partner in the eulogy

Yes if the new partner was meaningful to the deceased and to the children. Thank them openly and use inclusive language to acknowledge their role in the last years.

What if I cannot stop crying

Pause and breathe. Have a designated person ready to step in if you need a moment. Short pauses are normal and expected. The audience will wait and will support you.

How do I write for kids in the room

Use simple kind language and center what the parent taught and how they loved the children. Avoid adult or legal details and offer a short reassuring line for the children.

Is it okay to use humor

Yes small gentle humor that the person would have appreciated is usually welcome. Avoid anything that could embarrass or divide family members.

Should I include legal or estate information in the speech

No. Legal and estate matters belong to family meetings or to an executor. A eulogy should focus on memory and meaning.

What if I feel I was not close enough to speak

Keep it short. A brief sincere line about the parenting role or a small anecdote is perfectly fine. You can also write something to be read at the service by a friend if public speaking feels impossible.