How to Write a Eulogy for Your Co Brother In Law - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your co brother in law can feel oddly specific and surprisingly heavy. Maybe you were friends, maybe your relationship existed mostly at family gatherings, or maybe he was the one who checked in with you during messy life moments. This guide gives you a straight forward method, real examples, and fill in the blank templates to help you speak clearly and honestly. We explain terms you might not know and give delivery tips that are actually useful.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about a co brother in law at a funeral, memorial, graveside, or celebration of life. You might be the sibling of their spouse, married to a sibling of the deceased, or related by a complicated set of family ties. That is fine. You do not need to be an expert on the person s whole life. You just need to share a few true things that help people remember who he was.

What does co brother in law mean

The term co brother in law can mean different things in different families. Often it refers to the man who is married to your spouse s sibling or to the brother of your spouse, depending on customs. In plain language it is someone connected to you by marriage rather than by blood. The exact label matters less than who he was to you and to the family.

Terms you might see

• Eulogy A personal speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details and biographical facts.
• Officiant The person leading the service. This could be a religious leader, a funeral director, or a friend chosen to guide the ceremony.
• Order of service The schedule that lists readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the program for the event.
• Pallbearer Someone who helps carry the casket. These are often close family or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on stories and photos rather than ritual.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which asks people to confirm attendance.

How long should your eulogy be

Short and clear wins. Aim for three to seven minutes of speaking time. That is usually about four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. If you are nervous about crying, a short focused tribute will often land harder than a long rambling speech.

Before you start writing

A little planning makes writing much easier. Use this quick checklist.

• Talk with family or the officiant Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your remarks fit in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want to be solemn, warm, funny, or a mix? Check with close family so the tone fits the person and the audience.
• Collect material Ask family and friends for one short memory each. Collect nicknames, habits, jobs, and small stories.
• Pick two or three focus points Choose a few traits or memories you want people to remember. Small focuses make the speech feel intentional.

Structure that works

Good structure gives you permission to be brief and true. Use this simple shape.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one line that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of his life in practical strokes. Dates are optional. Mention roles like brother, spouse, uncle, coworker, and friend.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Lessons and traits Summarize the values he passed on or the small habits people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short poem excerpt, or a request like lighting a candle or sharing a memory.

How to write the opening

Open simply. Name yourself and your relationship. Then say one sentence that explains why today matters. The opening buys you a breath and grounds the room.

Opening examples

• Hello I am Maya. I am Sam s sister in law and I have a short story about how he could fix anything with duct tape and kindness.
• Hi everyone I am Jamal. I married Amy s sister so Sam felt like family from day one. Today we remember his generosity and loud laugh.
• Good afternoon. I am Priyanka. Sam and I were not related by blood but he was the brother who came over with tools and good advice every holiday.

Writing the life sketch

Keep the life sketch short and meaningful. Mention jobs, passions, and roles that mattered to his identity. You do not need to list every job or achievement. Focus on the things that explain why people loved him.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place] and spent much of his life [work or hobby]. He married [spouse s name] and was a devoted [role like father uncle brother]. He loved [hobby] and was known for [trait].
• [Name] worked as a [job]. He coached youth soccer, built bookcases for friends, and never missed a family barbecue. Those small things tell you who he was.

Anecdotes that actually land

People remember stories more than lists. Pick one or two short stories that have a setup an action and a point. Keep them under a minute each when spoken.

Short anecdote examples

• Sam had a ritual of fixing things. Once my car key broke in the lock. He arrived with pliers and a grin and saved us twenty minutes and a tow bill. He said Fix it or buy it back and left a cup of coffee on the porch. That is Sam.
• At family dinners he had this bar of terrible jokes. We groaned. He laughed louder than anyone. He believed laughter was free therapy and he was always handing out sessions.
• When my partner was sick Sam brought over soup and a playlist. He sat quietly and let music do most of the talking. That is the kind of friend he was.

Addressing complicated or distant relationships

Not every person who speaks will have been close. You can be honest without being cold. Acknowledge distance if needed and highlight any meaningful detail or the way the person showed up.

Examples for more complex relationships

• We were not closest but he always sent a card on birthdays. It seems small but it mattered. He cared in small reliable ways.
• Our relationship had distance. Still, he showed up the one night I needed help and that is the memory I will keep.
• We had our differences but in the last months we talked about music and old movies. Those talks felt like a gift.

Using humor the right way

Humor can give people permission to breathe. Use small earned jokes that come from real details. Avoid anything that embarrasses or excludes family members. Test your jokes on a close friend first.

Safe humor examples

• Sam believed every recipe was improved by extra garlic. He also believed sleep was optional when there was football on. He won arguments about garlic and lost sleep battles proudly.
• He treated every tool like a loyal friend. If he had a concert ticket and a broken shelf the shelf would win. Priorities were clear in his house.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a family argument or therapy session.
• Avoid gossip and private grievances that would hurt people present.
• Avoid reading long lists of achievements without any story to make them human.
• Avoid jokes that single out someone in the audience or that require private knowledge to land.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples. Replace bracketed text with your details and read them aloud to see how they sound.

Example one Short and warm two to three minute version

Hi I am Jenna. I am Alex s sister in law. Alex was the kind of person who arrived at family dinners with two things his famous potato salad and a ridiculous hat. He made us laugh and he made sure there was always extra dessert for the kids. He worked as an electrician and could wire a lamp and a barbecue with equal confidence. One small memory is from last summer when our grill caught fire. He calmly rescued the burgers and declared we were having charcoal seared cuisine. That is the small stubborn humor we will miss. He loved fiercely and showed it in small steady ways. Thank you for sharing a few minutes to remember him.

Example two Medium length sentimental version

Good afternoon my name is Marco. I am Chloe s husband which made Alex my co brother in law. Alex and I did not grow up together but we shared a love of cassette tape era rock and competing over who could fix a leaky sink faster. He had a way of making practical things feel meaningful. He coached youth baseball for five years and taught kids how to hustle and how to respect the umpire even when he did not. One evening after a losing game he stayed late to help a kid with his swing while the rest of us packed up. That is who he was. He noticed people and he made them feel noticed. He taught me to show up even when it is inconvenient. I will miss his calls about nothing and everything. Please join me in remembering one small way he made your life easier.

Example three Honest complicated relationship version

Hello I am Priya. Alex and I had a complicated relationship. Sometimes we clashed about how to handle family drama. Still he was the man who brought over a casserole when my partner was hospitalized and who sat with him while I ran errands. Those actions did not erase our arguments but they did show who he truly was when it mattered. I am grateful for those moments and I carry them with me now.

Example four Light and funny as part of a celebration of life

Hi everyone I m Nate. If you ever went to a party with Alex you know two things will happen. One he will find the chips. Two he will create an unofficial playlist that nobody asked for but everyone loved. He taught me that playlists make work bearable and that chips are a food group. We remember him tonight not just for his playlists and snacks but for how he made ordinary evenings feel like events. Eat some chips for Alex if you get the chance.

Fill in the blank templates

Take these templates and make them your own. Replace bracketed text with real details and then read them out loud.

Template A Short and classic

My name is [Your Name]. I am [relationship like sister in law brother in law spouse of sibling]. [Name] was born in [place or year] and loved [hobby or passion]. He worked as [job] and was the person who always [small trait]. One story that shows who he was is [brief story]. He taught me [lesson or trait]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here to remember him.

Template B For quieter or distant relationships

My name is [Your Name]. I did not know [Name] as long as some of you but I remember [short memory]. In that moment he showed [trait]. Even from a distance his consistency mattered. I am grateful for that.

Template C Light and personal

Hi I m [Your Name]. To know [Name] was to know that he never met a gadget he did not want to tinker with. He also believed dessert was the best part of any meal. My favorite memory is [funny story]. He made us laugh and feel at home. Thank you for sharing this moment with us.

Practical tips for delivery

• Print your speech Use large font and bring a backup paper copy. Phones are okay but paper is less likely to fail when emotions spike.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one or two lines help you stay on track and reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a note where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh. Pauses are powerful.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend a mirror or an empty room. Practice tells your voice what to expect.
• Bring tissues and water These small things make it easier to keep going if you choke up.
• Signal for backup If you think you might not finish find a friend or family member who can step in and finish a sentence if needed.

When you cry while reading

Tears are okay. Pause and breathe. Look down at your notes and take a few slow breaths. If your voice breaks slow down. The audience will wait. If you need to stop for a moment that is fine. You can say I need a second and then continue when you are ready.

Including readings music or photos

Short readings and brief musical interludes tend to work best. If you include a poem pick a short excerpt. If you want music check with the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers. Photos can be powerful when they are spaced throughout the service because they give people permission to remember quietly.

Logistics and who to tell

• Confirm time limits with the family or officiant.
• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or printed copies for attendees.
• Give a copy of your remarks to the person running the order of service in case they want to include the text in a program or memory book.

After the eulogy

People will often ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family or friends. Some families like to include the eulogy in a printed program or a memory book. If you record the audio check with the family before posting anything online. Privacy matters and some families prefer to keep memorial content within the circle of family and close friends.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit.
• Print your speech and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a bottle of water if allowed.
• Agree with a friend on a signal if you need them to finish a line for you.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech at a funeral or memorial honoring the person who died.
• Obituary A written notice about a death that includes service details and biographical facts.
• Officiant The person leading the service.
• Order of service The schedule listing readings music and speakers.
• Pallbearer Someone chosen to help carry the casket.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on stories and memory.
• RSVP Ask to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How long should my eulogy be

Aim for three to seven minutes. Short and focused often holds more meaning. If many people are speaking coordinate time to keep the service within schedule.

What if I cry and cannot finish

Pause and breathe. Look at your notes. If you cannot continue ask a prearranged friend or family member to finish. Many people leave the speaking to emotions for a moment and then return to finish a line. That is normal.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes use small earned humor that comes from real memories. Avoid jokes that might embarrass people or that require private knowledge. Follow humor with a sincere line to reconnect the tone.

What if I was not close to the co brother in law

You can be honest about distance and still offer a meaningful memory. Focus on a small moment that shows character. A single true memory can be powerful even if you were not close.

Do I need to get permission to share stories

It is polite to check with immediate family if a story might be sensitive. If the memory is light and kind most families welcome it. When in doubt ask.

Can I record and share the eulogy online

Check with the family before posting. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved add a brief note about who to contact for support or donations if that is relevant.