How to Write a Eulogy for Your Close Friend - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for a close friend is both an honor and a weirdly tall ask. You want to capture who they were without turning the whole room into a therapy hour. This guide gives you a simple structure, real examples you can adapt, and practical delivery tips. We explain any terms you might not know and give fill in the blank templates so you are not staring at a blank page five minutes before the service.

Who this guide is for

This is for anyone asked to speak about a close friend at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside gathering. Maybe you were the person who texted them every weekend. Maybe you were their emergency contact. Maybe your friendship was messy and beautiful. There are examples for short remarks, longer memories, funny tones, and complicated relationships.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech given to honor someone who has died. It is personal and story based. It is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice with basic facts about the death and service details. A eulogy shares memories, traits, small moments, and what you will miss.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written announcement about a death that usually lists biographical facts and funeral arrangements.
• Order of service The sequence of events for a funeral or memorial. It is the program for the event.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. Pallbearers are often family or very close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and memories.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can happen at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Short for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy for a friend be

Short and focused usually works best. Aim for three to five minutes for a single speaker. That is about four hundred to six hundred spoken words. If multiple people are speaking, coordinate with the family or officiant so the whole program stays on track. If you have permission to speak longer and you have the material, seven minutes can work but always err on the side of editing down.

Before you start writing

Do a quick prep checklist so your words land where you want them to.

• Ask about time Confirm how long you should speak and where you fit in the order of service.
• Decide tone Do you want to be funny, tender, reflective, or a mix? Check with close family so your tone fits the crowd.
• Gather memories Pull together dates, nicknames, small stories, and the person s favorite phrases. Ask mutual friends for a one sentence memory each.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember. Three keeps the speech focused and memorable.
• Find one short object A photo, a playlist, or a hat can anchor a memory and give the audience a visual cue.

Structure that works

A clear shape makes writing and delivering easier. Use this simple structure.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to the friend. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of who they were. Focus on roles and passions not every job title.
• Anecdotes Tell one to three short stories that show character. Keep each story sensory and quick.
• Traits and lessons Summarize the qualities you will miss and what they taught you.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short quote, or a request for the audience to share a memory or light a candle.

Writing the opening

Open simple. Your first sentence buys you a breath and sets context.

Opening examples

• Hi everyone. I am Jess and I am Aaron s friend since college. We met in a dorm that smelled like instant noodles and optimism.
• Hello everybody. My name is Marco. I am the person who stole Olivia s fries and then pretended it was a trade. Today I want to say what she gave to all of us.
• Good afternoon. I am Pri and I am Theo s work friend. He was the person who would reply to a project email with a cat gif and an actual plan.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick a few facts that help tell the story you chose to tell. Mention where they grew up, what they loved, and what role they held in your life.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place] and later moved to [city]. They worked as a [job] and loved [hobby]. They were a friend who always [quirk or habit].
• [Name] met people easily. They volunteered at [place], collected [object], and had a laugh that made everyone honest about their own bad jokes.

Anecdotes that matter

People remember stories more than lists. Each anecdote should have a setup, an action, and a small payoff that reveals character. Keep stories under ninety seconds when possible.

Examples of quick anecdotes

• On road trips they refused to follow GPS if the music was not right. Once we took the scenic route because they needed to finish a playlist before a rainy hour. They were right about the playlist and the clouds were right about the mood.
• They adopted a mangy plant and named it Lieutenant. Every weekend they watered it with the seriousness of a court summons. One year Lieutenant survived a heat wave and so did we because of that stubborn care.
• At parties they would ask the quietest person what they loved and then actually remember it months later. That small kindness made strangers feel seen.

Addressing complicated friendships

Not every friendship is easy. If the relationship had tension you can still speak honestly and with dignity. Focus on truth and growth. You do not need to air private grievances in public.

Examples for complicated friendships

• We had seasons where we did not speak. In the years we did, they taught me how to be braver about apologizing.
• Their bluntness could sting. It also pushed me to be better at taking feedback. That was a hard gift to receive and an honest one.
• We fought about small things and then laughed about them later. Those fights taught me how much I wanted them in my life.

Using humor the right way

Humor can help people breathe. Use small, earned jokes that come from real memory. Avoid anything that might embarrass someone in the room.

Safe humor examples

• They called themselves a plant whisperer and then killed every succulent. They were a complicated whisperer.
• They had a single casserole recipe and brought it to every potluck like a culinary theme park ride. We pretended it was a gift and then begged for the recipe later.

What to avoid in a eulogy for a friend

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a long family argument.
• Avoid revealing private secrets that could hurt people present.
• Avoid using too many inside jokes that exclude most of the room.
• Avoid reading a long list of accomplishments without the stories that make them human.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples you can personalize. Replace bracketed text with your details and read them out loud once or twice.

Example 1: Best friend since childhood, three to five minute version

Hello everyone. I am Maya and I am Sam s friend since we were twelve and convinced that a mixtape would solve everything.

Sam grew up two blocks from a bakery and he developed a habit of buying stale croissants because he believed in second chances. He worked as a graphic designer and could explain color theory using pizza toppings. He was the person who knew how you took your coffee and how to make you laugh when you wanted to cry.

One small story that shows who he was happened on a rainy Thursday. I had missed a flight and felt like the worst planner alive. Sam showed up with an umbrella that had seen better days and a playlist labeled emergency comfort. We sat in the terminal and he told me about a terrible date he had survived and then he told me voting was important. He made the airport feel like home and made me feel like the kind of friend who could try again.

He taught me to be brave about asking for help and to take naps without shame. We will miss his loud laugh, his terrible puns, and the way he always brought his dog even when the dog was clearly in charge. Thank you for being here and for remembering Sam with us.

Example 2: Friend who mentored you, longer and reflective

Hi. I am Daniel and I met Priya at my first job out of college. She was the person who taught me spreadsheets and also how to disagree without closing a door.

Priya came from a family of builders and she carried that hands on, make it work energy into everything she did. She volunteered at the free clinic, organized neighborhood clean ups, and kept a literal binder of company memories. Her mentorship felt like being handed a map and then being asked to draw the parts she could not see yet.

I will share one memory because it shows her style. I had made a presentation that collapsed under the weight of my nerves. She asked me to tell her the story behind the slides and then she asked me to say the last line out loud. She said the last line with me and then told me I had to believe it before anyone else would. I still use that last line when I am nervous in a meeting. Her faith in me matters every day.

Priya taught me how to hold people accountable with curiosity and how to celebrate small wins. If you ever received a late night text from her that said nice job she meant it with all of her teeth. We will miss her steady presence and her terrible coffee. Thank you for being here for her and for each other.

Example 3: Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hi everyone. I am Alex and I am Jules s roommate and friend. Jules loved thrift store jackets, bad action movies, and making playlists called exactly what you need. They taught me how to take care of someone without making it a big production. We will miss their playlists and their ability to always make the party better. Thank you for being here.

Example 4: Complicated friendship with reconciliation

Hello. I am Tori. My friendship with Ben was honest and messy. We argued about politics and then shared a taco truck at midnight. In the last year we had a conversation that fixed a lot of small hurts. That talk mattered. He apologized for being disappearing and I apologized for being too proud. We left that afternoon laughing. He taught me that friendships have seasons and that some seasons leave you with fruit you can carry forward. Thank you for remembering him with us.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates to get moving. Replace bracketed items and then edit out anything that sounds forced.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Friend s Name] friend. [Friend s Name] loved [hobby], worked as [job], and had a habit of [quirky habit]. One memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for holding their memory with us.

Template B: For a mentor friend

Hello. I am [Your Name]. [Friend s Name] taught me [skill or value]. My favorite memory is [short story]. They made me feel [emotion] and they pushed me into being better by [specific action]. If you took away one thing from them let it be [value or lesson].

Template C: Light and funny with sincerity

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Friend s Name] was to know that [quirky habit]. They also made sure we learned [practical skill]. My favorite silly memory is [funny story]. Even when they joked they taught me how to be kinder. I will miss their jokes and their exacting coffee standards.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These concrete tactics keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to manage when emotions are high.
• Use cue cards Small cards with one idea each help you stay on track.
• Mark pauses Put a mark where you want to breathe or where you expect laughter. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, to a mirror, or to your dog. Practice teaches your throat the rhythm of the words.
• Bring tissues Keep them handy. If you need a moment take it and then continue slowly.
• Ask for help If you think you will not get through it, arrange for someone to introduce you and to be ready to step in if you need them to finish a line.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If there is no mic, speak slowly and project to the back row.

When you want to cry while reading

Tears are normal. Pause, breathe, sip water, and continue. If your voice breaks slow down. Saying fewer words more clearly often lands harder than a rush of sentences. You are allowed to be human in that room.

How to include readings, poems, and music

Short readings work well. Pick a two to four line excerpt rather than a long poem. Readings can be religious or non religious. Confirm with the officiant and provide the text if it will appear in the program.

Music choices

• Pick songs your friend loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
• If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
• Keep musical breaks short and place them where they support the speech for example before a eulogy or after a meaningful memory.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they need it for the program.

Recording the eulogy and sharing it

Ask permission before posting a recording online. Some families want privacy. If sharing is approved provide a short note about where donations will go if memorial contributions are being collected and how people can add memories to a shared album.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories and photos rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can take place at home or in a facility.
• RSVP This asks guests to respond to an invitation so hosts can plan.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to the friend. A simple line like Hi my name is [Your Name] and I am [Friend s Name] friend gives you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It steadies you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. People will wait. If you cannot continue ask a designated friend or family member to finish for you. Having a short note someone else can pick up helps in that scenario.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes small earned humor often helps people breathe. Use jokes that are rooted in real memories and avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members. Follow a joke with a sincere line to bring the tone back.

How do I write a eulogy if our friendship was complicated

Be honest without being hurtful. Acknowledge complexity and share reconciliations or lessons you can genuinely claim. You can keep the tribute short and focus on one or two true things you learned or appreciated.

Should I read the eulogy from my phone

You can but make sure the screen is bright enough and the device will not ring. Many people prefer paper or printed index cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high.

How long should a eulogy be

Aim for three to five minutes for a single speaker. Short and focused tends to be more memorable. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times so the service stays within the planned schedule.

Can friends be pallbearers

Yes. Pallbearers are often family or close friends. Check with the funeral home about the number of pallbearers needed and any physical or logistical requirements.