How to Write a Eulogy for Your Childhood Friend - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for a childhood friend feels like trying to bottle a whole life that started in the sandbox. That friend knew your awkward middle school haircut, your secret snack stash, and the exact way you laughed at inside jokes. This guide gives you a simple structure, real examples to adapt, delivery tips that actually help, and templates you can fill in. We explain terms you might not know and suggest ways to honor messy, joyful, or complicated friendships. Read through, pick an example, and start shaping a speech that feels like them.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about a friend who grew up with them. Maybe you shared a summer camp bunk, or you were the kid who knew every corner of their childhood neighborhood. Maybe your friendship had awkward pauses or it was constant for decades. You do not need to be a professional speaker. The goal is to be honest, specific, and brief enough that the memory lands with the room.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech delivered at a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life to honor the person who died. It is different from an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that gives the basics like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is personal. It is a story about how the person showed up in your life and in the lives of others.

Common terms and acronyms you might see

• Obituary A public written notice announcing a death with basic details about the person and the service.
• Order of service The planned sequence of readings, music, and speakers during the event. Think of it like the program.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that prioritizes stories, photos, and happy memories rather than ritual.
• Pallbearer Someone chosen to help carry the casket. They are usually close friends or family members.
• Officiant The person who leads the funeral or memorial. This might be a clergy member, a celebrant, or a friend asked to guide the event.
• RSVP Short for the French respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It appears on invitations when hosts want a head count.
• MC Short for master of ceremonies. This is the person who may introduce speakers at a larger event.

How long should a eulogy for a childhood friend be

Short and clear is stronger than long and wandering. Aim for two to six minutes. That is usually 300 to 700 spoken words. If you are unsure, ask the family or officiant about time limits. Two heartfelt minutes often land harder than eight minutes of rambling memories.

Before you start writing

Trying to write while emotionally raw is hard. Use a simple plan to organize memories.

• Check the time Confirm how long you are expected to speak with the family or the officiant.
• Decide the tone Do you want the speech to be funny, nostalgic, solemn, or a mix? Childhood friends often allow for humor that feels earned.
• Collect three memories Ask yourself for three specific scenes that show who your friend was. Keep them sensory and short.
• Pick three traits Choose three words that people should leave remembering. Examples might be loyal, mischievous, and kind.
• Ask others Reach out to mutual friends or family for one memory each. Small additions help you avoid telling the same story everyone knows.

Structure that works

Structure gives your speech shape and keeps your nerves from taking over. Use this simple pattern.

• Opening Say your name and how you knew the person. Give one line that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Offer a short overview of who they were and what mattered to them. Do not try to cover everything.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two vivid stories from childhood or later that reveal character.
• What they taught you Share a small lesson or habit you will carry forward.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a quote, or a call to action such as lighting a candle or sharing a memory with others.

Writing the opening

The opening is your anchor. Keep it short. Start with your name and relationship then add a single sentence that hints at the tone.

Opening examples

• Hi. I am Jenna. I met Marcus in third grade at the school library and we have been partners in small trouble ever since.
• Hello. My name is Aaron and I grew up across the street from Lisa. Our summer fort is where we learned to disagree and then apologize with a shared popsicle.
• Good afternoon. I am Priya. We went to the same elementary school. Sam taught me how to skateboard and later how to be brave about asking for help.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is a short portrait. Say where the friendship started and mention a couple of roles they had. Keep it human and avoid listing every job and award unless it serves the story.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place] and we met when we were kids at [context]. They loved [hobby] and later went on to [job or major achievement]. They were a sibling, a partner, a friend, and the person everyone knew to call when something needed fixing.
• [Name] was the kid who rode their bike without fear and who insisted on bringing a paper rocket to every class project. Their curiosity made people around them try new things.

Anecdotes that bring a childhood friendship to life

Stories make a eulogy feel real. For childhood friends, pick moments that show shared growth, mischief, or tenderness. Keep stories short with a small payoff.

Story examples

• When we were ten we built a treehouse that collapsed on the first rainy night. Instead of being ashamed, they laughed and said we built it with character. We rebuilt it and never told any adult about the first version.
• In middle school they convinced me to try out for the school play even though we could not remember any lines. We sang off key and moved props at the wrong time. We still felt like movie stars that night.
• As adults they sent me a postcard after my breakup that only said sit in the sun. I did and the postcard felt like a permission slip to heal slowly.

How to handle complicated friendships

Not all childhood friendships are perfect. If your relationship had distance or conflict you can still speak honestly and kindly. Acknowledge complexity and highlight growth or what you learned.

Examples for complicated friendships

• We drifted in high school but in our thirties we found our way back. The best part was how easily we could begin again like pressing play on a long paused song.
• We had arguments that lasted months. In the end they taught me how to set boundaries and how to apologize without expectation.
• Our friendship had seasons. The season I will remember is the one where they showed up when I needed them the most.

Using humor for a childhood friend

Humor is a natural part of childhood memories. Use small, specific jokes that everyone in the room will recognize. Avoid anything that could humiliate the person or alienate family members.

Safe humor examples

• They had a diet that consisted mostly of cereal and confidence. If you came over at nine in the morning you were guaranteed a bowl and a long debate about cartoons.
• They were convinced they could beat anyone at Mario Kart. They probably could not. They still celebrated like a champion when they won.

What to avoid

• Avoid wandering into private disputes or airing family secrets.
• Avoid listing achievements without connecting them to a story that proves why those things mattered.
• Avoid jokes at the expense of someone who is not present to explain or laugh it off.
• Avoid trying to be someone else. Speak in your own voice like you would when telling a friend a memory.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples. Replace bracketed parts with your details and tweak the language to sound like you.

Example 1: Nostalgic and warm, 3 to 4 minute version

Hello. I am Maya. Omar and I met in Mrs. Lopez s second grade class. We were assigned to the same reading group and Omar would always pick the longest book even if it was about dinosaurs. He believed the bigger the book the better the adventure.

He grew up on Elm Street and later became a teacher himself. He loved campfires, bad science documentaries, and playing frisbee until it was too dark to see. One story that captures Omar is from our senior year. We were supposed to study for finals. Instead we made an elaborate plan to rescue a hedgehog we thought was living under the bleachers. We spent an entire afternoon building a tiny blanket bed, convincing a friend to drive us to the pet store, and failing spectacularly at making hedgehog food. The hedgehog never appeared but the memory of that ridiculous rescue mission is a perfect Omar memory. He showed up for the small adventures.

What Omar taught me was to make room for curiosity and to treat every person you meet like they might be carrying a secret to trade over coffee. I will miss his thundering laugh, his terrible puns, and the way he made ordinary days feel like an expedition. Thank you for being here and for keeping his stories alive.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hi. I am Matt and I was Felix s friend since kindergarten. Felix loved comic books, gummy worms, and telling you that the boss fight would be easy even when it was not. He had a way of making chaos feel like an inside joke. I will miss his texts that said do you remember when and then launched into a memory that always made me smile. Thank you for being here and for honoring him with your stories.

Example 3: Funny and heartfelt celebration of life tone

Hello. I am Nina. To know Casey was to know a person who treated baked goods like currency and who could make friends with a vending machine that ate their dollar. Casey kept a running list of things that needed celebrating. Graduations, rainstorms, haircuts, and Tuesdays were all fair game. If you needed a reason to have cake Casey would find it. Today we celebrate a life that loved good snacks and better company. Eat a cookie in Casey s honor and tell a ridiculous story. It is what they would want.

Example 4: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful

My name is Daniel. I will be honest that our friendship with Joey had its distance at times. We did not speak for several years after a messy argument in college. In the last few months we found our way back. We sent each other playlists and terrible memes and then met for coffee like nothing complicated could stop us. That small reconnection felt like a gift. I will carry that back and forth and those late apologies as proof that friendship can be repairable. Thank you, Joey, for showing up again.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates as a starting point. Fill them in and then read aloud once or twice to tighten the language.

Template A: Straightforward short

My name is [Your Name]. I met [Friend s Name] when we were [age or context]. They loved [hobby or quirk] and later [adult role or achievement]. One memory I will always have is [brief story]. They taught me [lesson]. We will miss [trait or habit]. Thank you for sharing this time with us.

Template B: Funny and warm

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To be friends with [Friend s Name] was to accept a lifetime supply of terrible jokes and questionable life advice. My favorite memory is [funny moment]. Even when things were messy they made room for laughter. Today we laugh and cry and remember just how lucky we were to know them.

Template C: For complicated friendships

My name is [Your Name]. Our friendship with [Friend s Name] had seasons where we grew apart. In the most recent season we found each other again over [shared activity]. What I will remember is [positive memory]. I am grateful for the chance we had to reconnect and for the lessons that came from the distance.

Practical tips for delivery

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to hold than a phone when emotions are high.
• Use index cards Put one or two lines per card. Cards reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Note where you want to breathe or where laughter might happen. Pauses help you regroup.
• Practice out loud Read to a friend, your dog, or into your phone. Hearing your voice helps you find natural rhythm.
• Bring water and tissues Small comforts make a big difference.
• Have a backup Ask someone to be ready to step in if you cannot finish. That person can read a single closing sentence written in advance.
• Mind the mic Keep it a few inches from your mouth and speak at a steady pace. If no mic is available project to the back row without rushing.

Including readings, music, and photos

Short readings or song clips can add texture. If you include a poem pick a brief excerpt. If you want a song choose one your friend loved and keep it short. Confirm with the officiant where music fits in the order of service. Photos can be shown on a loop during a reception or the service. If you plan to display images check file formats and the venue s AV setup ahead of time.

Who to tell and logistics

• Ask the family or the officiant about your placement in the order of service and about any time limits.
• Give a copy of your remarks to the person running the event so they can include it in a program or memory book if requested.
• Confirm if the venue allows printed materials or if everything needs to be digital.

After the eulogy

People will likely want a copy of your words. Offer to email it to family or to contribute it to a memory book. Some families ask for speeches to be recorded. If you record a version ask permission before posting anything online. Some families want privacy.

Glossary of helpful terms

• Eulogy A speech given to honor someone who has died. It is personal and story based.
• Obituary A written public notice of a death that usually includes service details and basic biographical information.
• Order of service The planned sequence for the funeral or memorial. It lists speakers, music, and readings.
• Celebration of life A less formal event focused on stories, photos, and shared memories.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry a casket. They are usually close friends or family.
• Officiant The person who leads the funeral or memorial. This can be clergy, a celebrant, or a family member.
• RSVP Standing for respond s il vous plait. It is used on invitations to request confirmation of attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am extremely nervous

Begin with a short line: your name and how you knew the friend. That simple sentence buys you a breath and gives the room context. Practice that one opening line until it feels familiar. It will steady you when you begin.

What do I do if I start crying and cannot continue

Pause and breathe. Look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. If you cannot go on, have a friend prepared to read a closing sentence. People will understand. The room will wait.

Can I use humor in a eulogy for a childhood friend

Yes. Childhood friendships often include shared jokes. Use humor that is kind and earned. Follow a joke with a sincere line to keep the emotional balance.

Should I include private or embarrassing stories

Avoid stories that would humiliate the deceased or hurt family members. Pick memories that honor their spirit and that they would have laughed about if they were in the room.

How do I choose music for a celebration of life

Pick songs the friend loved or songs that match the tone you want. Keep music short and place it where it supports the speech. Confirm file types and volume with the venue ahead of time.

What if the family asks me not to talk about certain topics

Respect their wishes. Ask for clear guidance on topics to avoid. You can still share a meaningful memory that honors the friend without touching sensitive areas.