How to Write a Eulogy for Your Child - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for a child is one of the hardest things a parent or caregiver can be asked to do. You want to honor them. You want to say something true about who they were. You also might not be sure how to start, how long to speak, or what is appropriate to say in front of family and friends. This guide gives a calm, practical method with real examples and ready to use templates. We explain terms you might not know and offer delivery tips that feel realistic when you are grieving. Use this to find a voice that fits your child and your family.

Who this guide is for

This article is for parents, guardians, grandparents, siblings, and close friends asked to speak about a child at a funeral, memorial, graveside, or celebration of life. It covers losses at any age including miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death, toddler and child death, teen death, and young adult death. There are sample scripts you can adapt to quiet, short, or more detailed needs. If your relationship was complicated, there are examples for that too.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech given to honor someone who has died. It is usually part of the funeral or memorial event. A eulogy is not a legal document or an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that lists factual details about the death and the service. A eulogy is personal. It tells a story. It is allowed to be imperfect and emotional.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details and basic biographical facts.
• Order of service The plan for the event listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers. It is the program for the gathering.
• Memorial A gathering to remember someone who has died that might or might not take place where the burial occurs.
• Celebration of life A less formal event that focuses on stories, photos, and memory sharing rather than ritual.
• Stillbirth When a baby is born without signs of life after a certain point in pregnancy. Rules vary by region about timing and paperwork.
• Miscarriage Loss of a pregnancy before a certain number of weeks. This can be a painful and isolating loss and is important to name if you want to.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life at the end of life. It can support families and patients at home or in a facility.

How long should a eulogy for a child be

Short can be powerful. Aim for three to seven minutes for most eulogies. That is about 400 to 800 words. If multiple people are speaking, keep individual remarks closer to two to four minutes so the service stays on schedule. If you are too emotional to go long, choose a shorter text that still says something meaningful.

Before you start writing

Before you begin put a few practical things in place. These simple steps make writing easier and reduce last minute stress.

• Ask about timing Confirm with the officiant or family how long you should speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want solemn, tender, gently humorous, or a mix? Check with close family so the tone honors the child and the audience.
• Gather memories Ask a few family members or close friends for one memory each. Short sensory details are helpful like a laugh, a phrase, a favorite toy, or a habit.
• Pick three focus points Choose up to three ideas you want people to remember about the child. Three keeps the speech clear and memorable.
• Decide whether to read or memorize Most people read from notes. That is completely fine. Choose large print and practice with the pages so you can manage emotion.

Structure that works

A clear structure gives permission to you and to the listeners. Use this simple shape.

• Opening Say your name and your relationship to the child. A short sentence sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief, gentle overview. For infants and very young children this can be a few loving facts and the ways they changed your lives. For older children include a few key roles like student, sibling, friend, athlete, or artist.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal who they were. Use sensory details and a clear payoff so listeners understand why the story matters.
• Lessons and traits Summarize what they taught you or what people will remember about them.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a brief quote, or a ritual invitation like lighting a candle or sharing a memory with someone after the service.

How to write the opening

Start simple. Say your name and your relationship. Then give one honest sentence about what the day is for. Examples are below. Practicing the opening will help steady your voice at the microphone.

Opening examples

• Hello. My name is Jess and I am Ethan s mother. We are here to remember the bright ten years he gave us and the joy he left behind.
• Hi everyone. I am Marcus, Owen s father. Today we will say goodbye to a son who loved puddles and dinosaurs with equal intensity.
• My name is Aisha and I am Lina s grandma. Lina arrived like a laugh that stayed and taught us all to dance in kitchen light.

Writing the life sketch for different ages

The life sketch is not a biography. Pick small facts that matter and use them to support your story.

For newborns and infants: focus on the ways they changed your life. Mention their name, any nicknames, the ways the family held them, small rituals like feeding or blankets, and the love they brought even if their life was short.

For toddlers and young children: include a few favorite things like a toy, a song, a bedtime ritual, and a short story that shows personality.

For teens and young adults: include roles like student, friend, hobby or talent, and one or two meaningful achievements or moments. Keep the sketch human not a list of awards.

Anecdotes that matter

Stories are what people remember. Pick one short story with a setup, a small action, and a line that connects the moment to who the child was.

Examples of short anecdotes

• When Maya learned to walk she refused to use shoes because she wanted to feel the grass. That stubborn joy became a family joke and a reminder to keep our feet on the ground and our faces in the sun.
• At four, Jonah hid my phone because he wanted my full attention for his drawing. He looked up at me like it was the only important thing in the world and for a minute it was.
• Emma wrote a list of songs she wanted at her party and then taught everyone the dance moves. She could turn a room into a celebration in under two minutes.

Addressing complex situations and causes of death

Some deaths are sudden and some are after a long illness. Some involve addiction, suicide, or circumstances that feel complicated. You do not need to include painful details. You can be honest without offering graphic information. Here are ways to phrase different situations with care.

• Illness Mention treatment and the ways the child showed bravery or humor without medicalizing the speech. Focus on personhood not prognosis.
• Sudden accidents Acknowledge shock and loss and then share a story that reveals who they were before the event.
• Suicide or overdose Use language your family prefers. You can say died by suicide or died from substance use if that feels right. Offer a message about support and resources for others who might be struggling.
• Miscarriage or stillbirth Name the child if you want. It is okay to say this was loss of a baby or a pregnancy. Short personal statements about love and grief honor the child.

Using humor gently

Humor can feel like a permission to breathe. Use small, earned laughs rooted in character and avoid anything that might embarrass or exclude. Follow a laugh with a sincere line so the tone stays grounded.

Safe humor examples

• He believed vegetables were a conspiracy and he would inspect carrots like they had secrets. We still check the fridge for signs of a vegetable coup.
• She collected rocks and named them all. If you loved her you knew the names and the rules of her rock kingdom.

What to avoid in a eulogy for a child

• Avoid long medical histories or graphic details.
• Avoid assigning blame in public. If family tensions exist handle them privately.
• Avoid long lists of accomplishments without stories that humanize them.
• Avoid jokes at the expense of a parent, sibling, or friend who may be in the audience.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples. Replace bracketed text with your details and edit to fit your voice. Read them out loud and shorten what feels too long.

Example 1: Infant loss short and tender

Hello. I am Anna, Leah s mother. Leah arrived like a warm quiet and taught us patience in a way we did not know we had. She loved the sound of soft lullabies and the way sunlight looked on our blanket. Though her time with us was short she changed how we love. We will carry her name with us at birthdays and days when a little extra gentleness is needed. Thank you for holding our family today.

Example 2: Toddler, playful and brief

Hi. I am David, Max s father. Max had two strong preferences in life. One was wearing superhero capes with jeans and the other was insisting that pancakes must be cut into dinosaur shapes. He made every morning into a small adventure and he made us practice patience that we thought we did not have. We will miss the way he named clouds and how he gave hugs with both arms. We are grateful for the laughter he brought each day.

Example 3: Teen, with honesty and warmth

My name is Priya and I am Amir s mother. Amir loved coding, late night ramen, and arguing that jazz was better than pop. He was fierce about his friendships and tender about small injustices. He volunteered at the youth center because he wanted other kids to have a teacher who listened. One time he stayed after a storm to help clean up a neighbor s yard and came home with mud in his hair and a story about a new friend. That is the kind of person he was. He made loyalty feel like an action. Today we say goodbye to his bright, complicated light and we will keep doing the small good things he believed in.

Example 4: Sibling speaking short

Hi. I am Zoe and I am Noah s sister. Noah taught me how to build the perfect card tower and how to apologize with a silly face. He would hide my homework and then help me panic about it. He loved superhero movies and would recite lines at breakfast. I will miss his voice and his terrible but earnest dance moves. Thank you for being here and for loving him with us.

Fill in the blank templates

Pick a template and personalize it. Keep sentences short if you expect strong emotion while you speak.

Template A: Short parent tribute

My name is [Your Name]. I am [child s name] parent. [Child s name] loved [one to two favorite things]. One memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [what you learned]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for holding our family.

Template B: For older child or teen

Hello. I am [Your Name], [child s name] [mother father guardian]. [Child s name] was [age] and loved [hobby or passion]. They spent their time doing [activity or role] and brought [trait] to every room. One story that sums them up is [brief anecdote]. I want the world to remember their [quality].

Template C: For miscarriage or stillbirth

My name is [Your Name]. We named our baby [name] and though we did not bring them home they belong to our story. We loved them from the first moment. Today we remember the space they held in our hearts and the family they already made us. Thank you for holding that name with us.

Practical tips for delivery

• Print your speech Use large font so you can read without straining. Paper is less likely to fail than a phone.
• Use cue cards One to two lines per card helps you find your place if emotions rise.
• Mark pauses Put brackets where you plan to breathe or where laughter might occur. Pauses let you collect yourself and give the audience space.
• Practice out loud Read to a friend, to a mirror, or to someone who will be honest about length. Practice helps your throat know the rhythm.
• Bring tissues and water They will help. A glass of water can steady your voice.
• Arrange a backup If you worry you might not finish have someone ready to step in and finish a closing line for you.
• Mic tips Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If no mic is available speak clearly and project to the back row.

When you think you will cry while reading

Crying is allowed and expected. If you need a moment pause, breathe, and look down at your notes. Take a sip of water. If you cannot continue you can hand your notes to the person who agreed to finish. The room will wait and people will be understanding.

How to include readings, poems, and music

Short readings work best. For poems pick two to four lines or a short poem that captures a feeling. If you include religious language use what feels honest to your family. Music can be a brief recorded track or a live performance. Keep pieces short and place them where they support the speech for example before or after a eulogy or as an interlude for reflection.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director about microphone needs and whether you will pass out printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Provide a copy of your remarks to the person running the order of service in case they want to include the text in a program or memory book.
• Decide in advance whether the child s photos or videos will play during your speech and coordinate that with the team running the event.

Sharing the eulogy and privacy

Ask permission before posting audio or video online. Some families want privacy. If you want the eulogy printed or included in a memory book give a copy to the family and ask where they want it shared. If you plan to fundraise or collect donations in memory include clear notes about where funds will go.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the officiant or family.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice out loud at least three times.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a glass of water if allowed.
• Arrange a signal with a family member in case you need them to finish for you.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given to honor the person who has died. It focuses on memories and character rather than dry facts.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death that typically includes basic facts and service information.
• Order of service The program that lists the sequence of events at a funeral or memorial.
• Memorial A gathering to remember someone who has died. It can be formal or informal.
• Celebration of life A less formal event that highlights stories and photos rather than ritual.
• Stillbirth When a baby is born without signs of life after a defined point in pregnancy. Rules vary by region.
• Miscarriage Loss of a pregnancy before a certain gestational age. It is a significant form of grief to name and honor if you want to.
• RSVP This stands for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am overwhelmed

Begin with your name and your relationship to the child. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [child s name] parent gives the audience context and gives you a moment to breathe. Then say one small true sentence about the child. Practicing that first line helps when you are at the microphone.

What if I cannot stop crying

Pause, take a breath, and look at your notes. Take a sip of water. If you cannot continue ask the person you arranged in advance to finish a short closing line. People expect and understand tears at a child s service.

Should I mention cause of death

Only if the family wants it shared. You can acknowledge that the child died and then focus on memories and character. For sensitive causes like suicide or overdose ask the family whether they want that language used publicly.

How do I include a sibling in speaking

Siblings can read a short memory or a sentence about what they will miss. Keep sibling remarks very short so they are comfortable. Practice with them and give them a cue card with one to two lines.

Can I write a eulogy for a miscarriage or stillbirth

Yes. Naming the baby and saying a few lines about the love you already felt can be very meaningful. You can keep it short and invite others to remember the child's name in private if that feels right.

What if multiple people want to speak

Coordinate times so the service stays within plan. Suggest two to four minute blocks per person and ask the officiant to manage the order. Short focused remarks often feel more powerful than many long ones.