How to Write a Eulogy for Your Bubbe - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your Bubbe is equal parts heartbreaking and necessary. You want to honor her voice, remember the silly and the sacred, and actually get through speaking without losing it the whole time. This guide gives you a clear structure, Jewish and secular context, terms explained in plain language, real examples you can adapt, and templates that make the whole thing less terrifying. Read through, grab a template, and start drafting with a soft focus on memory not perfection.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about their Bubbe at a funeral, graveside, shiva gathering, memorial, or celebration of life. Maybe you are the grandchild who grew up on her rug telling secrets. Maybe you are the one who baked with her and learned how to fold a challah. Maybe your relationship was complicated. That is okay. There are examples for tender, funny, short, and complicated needs. We explain Jewish terms like shiva and kaddish so you can speak with confidence and cultural respect.

What is a eulogy and what makes a Bubbe eulogy special

A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It is personal and story driven. A Bubbe eulogy usually blends family memory, food references, traditions, small rules that shaped a household, and the way she made people feel safe. Whether your Bubbe was religious, cultural, or a little of both, you can weave in rituals or keep the remarks secular and intimate. The goal is to create a human portrait that others recognize and remember.

Terms you might see and what they mean

• Bubbe Yiddish word for grandmother. It often carries warmth, humor, and a particular kind of affection.
• Shiva The seven day period of mourning after burial when family receives visitors. Families sit in a quiet place called a shiva house or a corner of a home for visits and prayers.
• Kaddish A traditional Jewish prayer recited in memoriam. It is typically in Aramaic and is often said by mourners during services. Saying kaddish does not mention death. It praises life and God.
• Yahrzeit The anniversary of a death observed each year. People often light a candle and say prayers on that day.
• Shul Synagogue or house of worship. It is the place where some services or memorials may be held.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death that usually includes biographical facts and service information.
• Order of service The program listing the sequence of songs, prayers, readings, and speakers.
• Chevra Kadisha A community group that prepares the body for burial according to Jewish tradition. This term may come up when coordinating services.

How long should a eulogy for your Bubbe be

Short and focused beats long and repetitive. Aim for three to seven minutes. That usually works out to about 400 to 800 spoken words. If you are nervous, choose a shorter version that hits three strong points. People will appreciate clarity and emotion over an exhaustive biography.

Before you start writing

Prep makes the whole thing less overwhelming. Try this quick plan.

• Check logistics Ask the family or officiant about time and where your remarks fit in the order of service. If there is a shul or rabbi involved ask about including a Hebrew phrase or kaddish.
• Decide the tone Do you want the eulogy to be tender, funny, reverent, or a mix? Check with close family so your tone honors your Bubbe and the crowd.
• Collect memories Ask siblings and cousins for one memory each. Look through photos and recipes. A single shared detail can anchor the speech.
• Choose three focus points Pick three qualities or stories you want people to remember. Three gives you shape and keeps the speech memorable.

Structure that works

Use a simple shape that holds an audience and helps you stay steady.

• Opening Say who you are and your relationship to Bubbe. Offer one line that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of her life in practical strokes. Focus on roles like immigrant, mother, factory worker, baker, or community member.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them sensory and with a small payoff.
• Lessons and legacy Summarize the values she passed on or the daily things people will miss like soup recipes or a trademark phrase.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short blessing, a call to action like writing down a memory, or an invitation to share a dish after the service.

How to write the opening

Keep the opening plain. Your name and relationship gives the audience context and gives you a beat to breathe. Follow with one sentence that captures the day.

Opening examples

• Hello everyone. I am Maya and I am Bubbe Sara s granddaughter. Today we remember the woman who made chicken soup like medicine and who believed birthdays deserved a parade.
• Hi, I am Jonah. I am one of Bubbe Esther s many grandchildren. She taught us how to haggle at markets and how to say sorry with a cookie.
• My name is Leah. I am Bubbe Ruth s daughter. We are here to celebrate a life that taught us how to set a table properly and how to tell a joke that lands every time.

Writing the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter to the story you are telling. Use plain language and avoid listing every job. Think about roles that mattered like immigrant, seamstress, PTA leader, or neighborhood baker.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place] and moved to [city] in her twenties. She worked as a [job or role] and raised [number] children. She loved [hobby] and showed us that small rituals matter.
• [Name] arrived with a suitcase and a recipe book. She made a home that smelled like baking and advice. She kept the family calendar and the best secret cookie recipe.

Anecdotes that actually help

Stories are what people remember. Keep them short and sensory. A good story has a setup, an action, and a line that connects the action to why it matters.

Short anecdote examples

• Bubbe used to hide an extra slice of rugelach for late night visitors. One winter I confess I ate it all. She found the crumbs and laughed while she made another batch. That laugh is what I hear when I bake now.
• She had a rule about bringing extra chairs. If you came for dinner you stayed. Once a neighbor showed up with a broken umbrella and she fed him and washed his coat. She taught us that hospitality is practical not showy.
• On holidays she would hide pennies in challah so the kids would fight for the one that brought luck. She said luck was a reason to laugh together and then get back to work.

Addressing complicated relationships

Not every relationship with a Bubbe is perfect. You can be honest and still respectful. Name one true thing about her that you can claim. You do not need to air long grievances in public. Acknowledging complexity can be a gift of clarity and maturity.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My relationship with Bubbe was not simple. We argued about manners and money. In her last months we learned to sit quietly together. Those quiet moments felt like grace.
• She was blunt and she could hurt without meaning to. She also taught me to speak up and to stand my ground. That stubbornness maps onto how I live now.

Using Hebrew or prayers

If you plan to include Hebrew phrases or kaddish check with the rabbi or officiant. A short transliteration helps people who do not read Hebrew follow along. If your family is secular you can include a line from a psalm or a short blessing translated into English and explain what it means briefly.

Example of including kaddish

If mourners will say kaddish you can end your remarks by inviting those who will say it to stand. You might say Thank you for listening. At this time the family will recite kaddish with the congregation. If kaddish is new to some attendees, explain it is a prayer that praises life and tradition rather than describing death.

What to avoid

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a therapy session. Keep private disputes private.
• Avoid long lists of accomplishments without stories that make them human.
• Avoid jokes that single out family members or that embarrass the deceased.
• Avoid cliches without specifics. If you say she was generous follow with a small example.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Example 1: Bubbe who loved food and family, 3 to 4 minute version

Hello. I am Rachel and I am Bubbe Miriam s granddaughter. Miriam was born in Warsaw and came here with a small suitcase and a head full of recipes. She worked as a seamstress for many years and later ran the best pot roast operation in our building. Her apartment smelled like onions and patience.

One short story that shows her was the time a snowstorm trapped three cousins at her place. She served soup, assembled blankets, and insisted on teaching us how to roll rugelach. We left with sticky aprons and an oath to return. That is how she lived. She made room and then made something good out of extra time.

She taught us how to notice small needs and to fix them without making a scene. She taught us to say thank you with a handwritten note. We will miss the way she welcomed you with a jar of pickles and a hug that felt like an argument you won. Thank you for being here and for holding her memory with us.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hi everyone. I am David. Bubbe Esther loved crossword puzzles, strong coffee, and arguing about the news. She taught me how to tell a joke and how to make a mean matzo ball. She was loud, opinionated, and exactly what family should be. Thank you for coming and for keeping her stories alive.

Example 3: Complicated and honest

My name is Liora. My relationship with Bubbe Hannah was complicated. She was strict and I resented rules. That stung. In the last years of her life we sat and she told me stories about her youth that I had never heard. Hearing those stories was like receiving a late present. I learned about her bravery and her soft heart. I forgive. I am grateful. That is how I will remember her.

Example 4: Celebration of life with humor

Hello. I am Ben, her grandson. If you knew Bubbe you know she had rules. Rule one was always bring dessert. Rule two was never tell her your plans unless you wanted a better idea. She could rearrange a wedding seating chart with a stare and a smile. We will miss her rules and her rules were often right. Today we celebrate her energy, her jokes, and the cookie jar she kept as a form of government. Please laugh with us as we remember her.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates to get started. Replace bracketed text and then edit to sound like you. Read the draft out loud and trim anything that feels forced.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Bubbe s name] grandchild. [Bubbe s name] was born in [place or year]. She loved [one hobby], she worked as [job], and she was the person we called when [small task or habit]. One memory that shows the kind of person she was is [brief story]. She taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Bubbe s name] was complex. We did not always see eye to eye. We argued about [small example]. In time I came to appreciate [something positive]. In the last [months years] we [reconciled spoke often found peace]. If I could say one thing to her now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: Light and funny with sincerity

Hi, I am [Your Name]. To know [Bubbe s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. She also taught us [life practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. Even her jokes had work to do. She made us laugh and she made us better cooks. I will miss her laugh and her exacting towel folding. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is less fragile under pressure than a tiny phone screen.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with a line or two on each card are easier to handle and reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a symbol where you want to breathe or where people will laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup and let the audience react.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend or to your partner. Practice tells your throat and your heart what to expect.
• Bring tissues Wet eyes are normal. If you need a moment breathe deeply and continue. People will wait for you.
• Have a backup Ask someone to be ready to finish a sentence if you cannot continue. A short prearranged line helps everyone.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches away and speak slowly. If there is no mic, project to the back of the room instead of rushing your words.

When you want to cry while reading

Pause, breathe, look down at your notes, and then continue. If your voice breaks slow down. Fewer words said more slowly often land harder than a steady stream. It is okay to be human in that room. People will remember your honesty not your composure.

Including readings, poems, and songs

Short excerpts work best. If you include a poem choose two or three lines that mean something rather than reading a long piece. If you include a prayer check with the officiant. If you include a song ask about recorded music in the venue or if someone can perform live. Pick pieces that your Bubbe would have liked or that match the tone you want.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director and the rabbi if you will need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they want to include it in a program.

After the eulogy

People usually ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family and friends. Families sometimes include the eulogy in a memory book or program. You can also record the audio and share it privately with relatives who could not attend.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Bubbe Yiddish for grandmother.
• Shiva A seven day mourning period when family receives visitors at home.
• Kaddish A traditional prayer recited by mourners. It praises life and community.
• Yahrzeit The yearly anniversary of a death.
• Shul Synagogue or house of worship.
• Obituary A written notice including service details and biographical facts.
• Order of service The program listing songs, readings, and speakers.
• Chevra Kadisha A group that prepares the body for burial according to Jewish tradition.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Start by saying your name and your relationship to Bubbe. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am Bubbe s granddaughter will ground you. Then say one honest sentence about her. Practicing that opening several times helps steady you before you step up.

Can I include Jewish prayers even if I am not religious

Yes you can include a short prayer or blessing if it was meaningful to your Bubbe or to your family. Check with the rabbi or officiant about when it fits into the service. If you include Hebrew a brief transliteration and translation helps people who do not read Hebrew follow along.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you cannot continue ask the person you arranged to help to step in. Most people will wait and appreciate your honesty. Practicing can reduce the chance of losing your place.

How long should a eulogy be

Aim for three to seven minutes. Short speeches are often more memorable and keep the service on schedule when multiple people are speaking.

Should I say kaddish if I am not sure how

If you are asked to recite kaddish and you are not comfortable with the Hebrew consider asking someone in the congregation to guide you or to say it together. Many communities will help you learn the transliteration and the melody.

Can I use humor in a Bubbe eulogy

Yes small, earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes that come from real memories and follow them with a sincere line. Humor can lighten the room and then return it to warmth.

Is it okay to read the eulogy from my phone

Yes you can, but make sure the device will not ring and that the screen brightness is enough for the venue. Many people prefer printed notes or index cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high.