How to Write a Eulogy for Your Brudda - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your brudda can feel impossible and also the clearest way to honor him. This guide gives you a real plan, relatable examples you can adapt, and delivery tips that actually help when you are standing at the mic. We explain any terms or acronyms you might see and include short scripts for different tones and relationships. Read through, pick a template, and start shaping words that feel like him.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about their brother or very close friend who you call brudda. Maybe you were the sibling who jokes the most at family barbecues or the one who texted him every morning. Maybe you were the closest friend who knew things no one else did. Maybe your relationship was complicated. We have scripts for tender, funny, messy, and short needs.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech given at a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life to honor the person who died. It is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice with basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service details. A eulogy is personal. It is a story. It is allowed to be imperfect.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written notice announcing a death that usually includes biographical facts and service information.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial that lists the sequence of readings, music, and speakers.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. Those chosen are often close relatives or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories, photos, and music rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice may be provided at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Stands for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy for your brudda be

Short and focused usually lands better than long and rambling. Aim for three to seven minutes. That usually translates to about four hundred to eight hundred spoken words. If you are nervous, pick a shorter version and let someone else speak afterward so the tone stays balanced.

Before you start writing

Getting organized makes the writing feel doable. Try this quick checklist.

• Ask about timing Check with the family or officiant about how long you are expected to speak.
• Decide tone Do you want to be solemn, funny, celebratory, or a blend of all three? Ask a close family member so the tone fits the event.
• Collect material Gather nicknames, small stories, favorite sayings, jobs, hobbies, and any special rituals he loved. Ask two or three people for one memory each.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about him. Three is small enough to hold and large enough to give shape.

Structure that works

Structure gives your words a shape that listeners can follow. Use this simple shape and you will not get lost.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one short sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of his life in plain strokes. Focus on roles like son, brother, friend, worker, or volunteer.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Traits and lessons Summarize the values he passed on or the small habits people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a quote, a poem excerpt, or an invitation for the audience to remember him in a small way.

How to write the opening

The opening should be clean and honest. Name yourself and your relationship. Then say one true sentence about him that sets tone and expectation. Example openings are below so you can pick one and adapt it.

Opening examples

• Hello, my name is Jamal and I am Malik s sister. Today we are here to remember how he filled every room with jokes and improbable playlists.
• Hi everyone. I am Nina, his oldest friend. Everyone knew him as Brudda N to the east side, but to me he was the person who always answered my midnight texts.
• Good afternoon. I am Tariq, his brother. Malik taught us how to fix things with duct tape and patience. Today we honor that steady hands steady heart thing he had.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick facts that support the stories you want to tell. Avoid reciting a long resume. Think roles and moments that mattered.

Life sketch templates you can adapt

• [Name] was born in [place]. He worked as a [job] and later as a [another role]. He loved [hobbies]. He was a son, a brother, a friend, and that brudda who showed up no matter what.
• [Name] moved to [city] when he was [life stage]. He could fix a grill, make a playlist for any mood, and never missed a chance to make you laugh at the worst possible moment.

Anecdotes that land

Stories are the heart of a eulogy. Pick one or two short memories with a clear setup and a payoff that shows who he was. Keep them sensory and short enough to tell in under a minute each.

Good anecdote examples

• He always said breakfast was the most important meal of the day. One morning he showed up with seven different kinds of cereal so my kid cousins could pick their favorite. He called it democratic breakfast and took it very seriously.
• There was a time he decided our car needed a full spa day which involved singing at top volume and vacuuming every crumb. He believed in small acts of care and loud music.
• On road trips he would make a mixtape for every leg of the journey. If you wanted to know how he felt about you, listen to the last track on the tape. It was never safe to be sad with him driving.

Addressing complicated relationships

Not every relationship is simple. If your relationship with your brudda had rough patches, you can still speak honestly and compassionately. You do not need to air grievances. Acknowledge complexity and pick one thing to honor or learn from.

Examples for complicated relationships

• Our relationship was complicated. We argued, then we learned to argue with love. In his last year we had conversations we did not expect and that meant a lot to me.
• He could be hot headed and stubborn. He also taught me to keep fighting for the people we love. I learned patience from watching him learn patience later in life.
• We had distance sometimes. Still, he wanted me to be safe. That was never negotiable, and I am grateful he cared enough to show up when it mattered.

Using humor the right way

Humor can give people permission to breathe and to remember the lighter parts of him. Use short, earned jokes that connect to character. Test them on someone honest first. Avoid anything that might embarrass or exclude people present.

Safe humor examples

• He had two speeds, chill and full speed. If you were late he would already be making coffee and telling you how to be better prepared next time.
• He took pride in his sock game. Unknown to many he believed in the power of correct socks. We all respected the sock energy.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Do not use the eulogy as a platform for family disputes.
• Do not share private matters that would hurt those listening.
• Do not read long lists of accomplishments without connecting them to stories that make them human.
• Do not lean on cliches unless you immediately follow with a specific detail that proves it true.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples to copy and personalize. Replace bracketed text and tweak the tone to sound like you. Each example follows the structure above.

Example 1: Short and tender brudda eulogy two to three minutes

Hi everyone. I am Kayla and I am Malik s little sister. Malik called himself our resident tech support but really he was the person who held this family together in small ways. He loved grilled cheese, soccer, and being the loudest person at family dinners.

One memory that shows how he was is from last summer. Our air conditioner died in the middle of a heat wave. Malik showed up with a toolbox and a ridiculous grin. He worked until midnight and then we ate grilled cheese in the dark like it was a secret picnic. He taught me to fix things and to find joy in the mess.

He was never perfect but he was real and he showed up. I will miss his voice on my text threads and his bad movie recommendations. Thank you for being here and for holding him with us.

Example 2: Funny and celebratory three to five minutes

Good afternoon. I am Marco. People called him Brudda M. He was the kind of guy who would lend you his hoodie and then expect you to return it with a story. He loved karaoke and would always pick the song that made the crowd decide whether to laugh with him or to join him.

There was a legendary Christmas when he tried to be Santa and ended up getting stuck in the chimney of his own inflated sleigh. He emerged triumphant and covered in glitter and assured us it was a new fashion statement. That is how he lived. He did not take himself too seriously and he made room for everyone to belong.

He taught us to be loud when it matters and gentle when it does not. Today we celebrate his messy, generous life. Eat the cookies he would have wanted you to eat. Dance if you feel like it. Tell one small story about him to the person next to you. That is how we keep him with us.

Example 3: Honest complicated relationship three to five minutes

My name is Jonah. My brother Aaron and I had a relationship with ups and downs. We were competitive and we fought over small things that felt huge at the time. Over the last few years we started to find a rhythm. He would call just to check in and leave me a voicemail that started with a joke and ended with I love you in a way that meant he was trying.

One night we sat up and talked until dawn about things we had never said out loud. He apologized for times he was unfair and I apologized for being stubborn. Those conversations mattered. I am grateful we had them. I will miss his laughter and his willingness to try again. Thank you for holding him with me today.

Fill in the blank templates

Fill these in and then edit until they sound like you. Read them out loud and trim anything that feels forced.

Template A: Short and classic

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Name] brother sister friend. [Name] loved [one hobby]. He worked as [job] and was the person we called when [small task]. One memory that shows who he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here.

Template B: For complicated relationships

I am [Your Name]. My relationship with [Name] was complicated. We did not always agree. We fought about [small example]. Over time I learned [something positive]. In his final months we [reconciled spoke often found peace]. If I could say one thing now it would be [short line].

Template C: Funny with grit

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Name] was to know [quirky habit]. He also taught us how to [practical thing]. My favorite memory is [funny short story]. He had a soft center that got revealed in small moments. I will miss his jokes and his hands that fixed things. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These simple tactics can keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is less distracting when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one to two lines each make it easier to keep your place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket or bold the words where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, to a mirror, or record yourself. Practice tells your throat what to expect.
• Bring tissues and water A small bottle of water and a handkerchief are lifesavers.
• Arrange a signal Tell a family member you might need help and agree on a small signal if you want them to come up and finish a line for you.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If no mic is available, project gently and focus on the back row.

When you want to cry while reading

If tears come, that is okay. Pause and breathe. Look down at your notes and slow your pace. Saying fewer words more slowly often feels more powerful. If you cannot finish, have a trusted person ready to step in. People will wait for you.

How to include readings, poems, and music

Short readings work best. If you include a poem, choose a two to four line excerpt rather than a long piece. Confirm with the officiant. If you use recorded music, check the venue for playback options. Place music where it supports the speech for example before the eulogy or as a brief interlude after a strong line.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they want to include it in the program or memory book.

After the eulogy

People will often ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family and friends. Some families place the text in the printed program or save it in a memory book. You can also record the audio and share it privately with those who could not attend. Ask the family before posting anything online since some prefer privacy.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a small bottle of water.
• Tell a family member you might need a moment and arrange a small signal if you want them to finish if needed.

Recording the eulogy and sharing it

Check with the family before posting a recording online. Some families prefer to keep things private. If sharing is approved, add a short note about where donations should go if people ask and provide a simple way for friends to leave written memories for the family.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death and including service details and biographical facts.
• Order of service The plan for a funeral or memorial that lists the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket usually a close relative or friend.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering focused on stories photos and music.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life.
• RSVP Short for respond s il vous plait which means please respond and is used on invitations.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and relationship to your brudda. A simple opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Name] sibling gives context and buys you a breath. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It helps steady you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause and breathe. Look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a designated friend or family member ready to step in. Having a short note that someone else can finish from is a good backup plan.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes. Small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes that come from real memories and that do not embarrass anyone. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone. Humor can open hearts when used with care.

How long should a eulogy be

Aim for three to seven minutes. That is usually about four hundred to eight hundred words. Shorter speeches are often more memorable and easier to deliver while grieving.

Should I include religious language if the family is not religious

Only if it was meaningful to your brudda or the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories instead. You can include a brief poem or quote that reflects his life rather than prayer language.

Is it okay to record and share the eulogy online

Ask the family before posting. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved provide a short description and be mindful of the deceased s wishes.