How to Write a Eulogy for Your Brother Monk - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for a brother who was a monk can feel like trying to honor two lives at once. He was your sibling with shared childhood memories and he was also a member of a religious community with vows and rituals. This guide gives you clear steps, respectful language options, real examples you can adapt, and practical tips for working with a monastery or temple. We explain terms you might not know and offer short templates to make the process less overwhelming.

Who this guide is for

This article is for siblings, family members, friends, and members of the lay community who have been asked to speak about a brother who lived as a monk. Maybe you grew up together and later watched him choose monastic life. Maybe he was more like a teacher to you. Maybe you did not see eye to eye. There are examples for formal monastic services, for memorials that mix family memories and religious rites, and for short tributes when the order prefers minimal public speech.

What is a monk

A monk is someone who has chosen to live in a religious community with a focus on spiritual practice. Monks appear in many traditions, including Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, and others. Depending on the tradition, a monk might take vows such as poverty, celibacy, and obedience. A monk may live in a monastery, an abbey, a temple, or a hermitage. Monks can also be called friars, brothers, or fathers depending on the religious order.

Terms you might see

• Monastery The place where monks live and practice collectively. It is sometimes called an abbey or priory in Christian contexts.
• Abbot The head of a monastery in some Christian traditions. The abbot makes community decisions and often coordinates funeral arrangements within the order.
• Ordination The formal ceremony when someone becomes a monk or member of the clergy. It is sometimes also called taking vows.
• Vows Promises a monk makes, such as living simply, staying celibate, or obeying the order. Each tradition has different vows and meanings.
• Sangha A Buddhist word for the community of monks and lay practitioners. It means one body of people practicing together.
• Habit The clothing or uniform a monk wears. It can signal the order and level of ordination.
• Lay community People who are not ordained but who support or practice alongside a monastery or temple.

Before you start writing

There are a few practical things you should check before you write a single line. Monastic communities often have protocols about public speaking and rituals. Reach out early to learn how the community wants the funeral or memorial handled.

• Talk to the monastery or temple Ask if lay family members are allowed to speak. Some orders prefer only the abbot or a senior monk to give the formal eulogy. Others welcome family tributes during a separate family moment.
• Ask about titles Should you use Brother, Father, Venerable, or simply his given name? Using the preferred title is a sign of respect to the community and to your brother.
• Confirm timing Find out how long you are expected to speak and where your words will fit in the order of worship.
• Collect memories Ask family members and lay friends for a favorite short story each. Monastery friends may have memories of quiet service and daily routines that mean a lot to fellow practitioners.
• Decide the tone A monastic funeral can be solemn and spare, joyful and grateful, or a mix. Check with the order and close family so your tone fits what the community plans.

Structure that works

For clarity and emotional impact use a simple structure. This works for formal services and for more casual memorials.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. If the order asked you to be brief, start with one clear sentence.
• Life sketch Give a short overview of his life before and after ordination. Mention family roles and monastic roles.
• Stories Share one or two short anecdotes that reveal character. Include sensory detail and a small payoff.
• Meaning Explain what his monastic life taught you or the community. Focus on values rather than doctrine.
• Closing Offer a farewell line, a blessing or a requested action like lighting a candle or sharing a memory at a reception.

How to open the eulogy

Open simply. The audience will want context and a steady voice. Begin with your name and relationship and then offer an anchor sentence about who he was.

Opening examples

• Hello. I am Daniel. I am Michael s younger brother. Today I want to say thank you for the way he taught us to slow down and to care for small things.
• Good morning. My name is Priya. I grew up with Brother Thomas as my brother and later as my teacher. I will speak briefly about the way he mixed stubborn curiosity with patient kindness.
• Hi everyone. I am James. I am here as both family and friend. My brother chose the monastery but he never stopped being my brother. That is what I will try to honor now.

Writing the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick a few milestones that matter. For a brother who became a monk that usually means family background, important relationships, and the point where he chose monastic life.

Things to include

• Where he grew up and any memorable childhood detail that shaped him.
• His decision to become a monk and what that looked like for him.
• Roles within the monastery such as novice teacher, gardener, librarian, or chant leader.
• How he kept family ties and what that meant to you.

Anecdotes that connect family and monastic life

Stories that bridge his life as your brother and his life as a monk are the most powerful. Keep them short and specific. A story should have a setup a scene and a small meaning that you make explicit for listeners.

Short story examples

• When we were kids he taught me to whistle by showing me how to shape my hands. Years later he taught neighborhood kids to sit quietly in the garden and watch ants. Different skills same patience.
• He used to hide my homework to make me talk to our parents. In the monastery he was the one who always made time to listen to newcomers explaining their fears. He never stopped being a practical trouble solver.
• At family dinners he still asked for the loudest joke and the quietest blessing in the same breath. He knew how to hold both joy and reverence at once.

How to honor monastic vows and practices

Monastic life is often defined by vows and daily practices. You do not need to become doctrinal to honor those choices. Focus on values you can describe plainly. Simplicity humility service discipline compassion presence.

Options for language

• Say he lived simply and show a small example of how that looked in daily life.
• Note the habits he loved such as gardening chanting or teaching meditation and explain what those routines revealed about him.
• If religion matters to the audience you can include a short prayer blessing or traditional phrase. Confirm with the community first.

Using humor with care

Monastic life can sound solemn and humor may feel out of place. Small warm jokes are usually welcome when they reveal the person. Avoid mockery or anything that diminishes the sacred practices of the order.

Safe humor examples

• He tried to be strict about silence but would always misplace his glasses and then charm everyone by declaring that looking for them was a form of moving meditation.
• He believed in simple food and simple fashion. He once turned up to a family wedding wearing his robe and a tie his niece had made for him. He looked proud and slightly confused at the tuxedos.

When your relationship was complicated

Not every sibling relationship is tidy. If you had a rocky history you can still speak with honesty and dignity. Acknowledge complexity without listing grievances. Focus on what you learned or how the last years offered reconciliation.

Examples for complicated relationships

• We did not always agree on his choice to leave home. Over time I came to understand that his leaving was not rejection but a rearrangement of love. I learned from the way he held himself when we met.
• He asked for distance sometimes and for closeness other times. I am grateful for the moments we had. I carry his patience into my own life now.

Examples you can adapt

Example 1 Buddhist monk brother 3 to 4 minute version

Hello. I am Anna. I am Thomas s sister. Thomas left home at twenty one to become a monk and he spent three decades in the Sangha learning how to notice breath and to notice people. He never stopped being the brother who would hide the last slice of cake to make sure everyone else ate first.

One memory that captures him is how he taught my son to stack stones. He showed him how to breathe between each placement and to celebrate the wobble. That was his way of teaching balance in life and in concern for others. In the monastery he taught meditation to newcomers and in the neighborhood he helped older neighbors carry groceries.

He taught me the value of small steady acts. Remembering him makes me want to slow down and to listen more carefully to the people around me. If you would like to honor Thomas today take one slow breath with me and hold whatever memory of him comes up. Thank you for being here.

Example 2 Catholic monk brother formal version

Good afternoon. I am Mark. I am Benedict s brother. Benedict took vows with the monastic community forty years ago and served as an oblate mentor and choir leader. He found joy in the Divine Office and in repairing things around the priory.

My brother could fix a leaky roof and he could fix a distracted heart. He would show up at the hospital with a sandwich and a prayer. Though his life followed a strict rhythm he had a playful streak. He once rescued a stray cat and convinced the abbot to let it sleep in the refectory for one winter.

We will miss his steady voice in morning chant and his unexpected letters sent with pressed flowers. May his life and work continue to teach us how to serve with humility and with laughter.

Example 3 Short family tribute under two minutes

Hi everyone. I am Ravi and I am Naveen s brother. Naveen chose the monastery but he would still jump into a game of cricket when he visited. He loved chant and simple food and he loved badly sung family songs. Today we hold those things together. Thank you for sharing this time with us.

Example 4 For a complicated relationship honest and respectful

My name is Sara. My brother Ajit left home young and sometimes it felt like he left us behind. Later he sent letters full of advice and small drawings of birds. We did not always speak but in the years before he died we sat in silence together for hours and that felt like a language. He taught me patience that I did not expect to learn from him. I am grateful for that silence and for the laughter that came after.

Templates you can fill in

Short template

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Brother s Name] sibling. [Brother s Name] grew up in [place] and later became a monk in the [tradition]. He loved [hobby or practice] and was known for [trait]. One small story that captures him is [brief anecdote]. He taught me [lesson]. Thank you for being here to remember him.

Formal religious template

Good [morning afternoon]. I am [Your Name]. Brother [Monastic Name] served the [monastery] for [years]. He was [roles]. For me one of the clearest memories is [brief memory]. In his life I saw [values]. Please join me in [a short action] to honor his memory.

Complicated relationship template

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Brother s Name] was not simple. We argued we reconciled and we learned to sit together in quiet. One memory I am grateful for is [brief memory]. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short line].

Practical delivery tips

• Keep it short if the community asks Many orders prefer brief family remarks. A two to five minute tribute is usually fine.
• Use large print Bring a printed copy in case your hands shake. Index cards with one or two lines each help if you get emotional.
• Practice once or twice out loud Even a quick read helps. Practice breathing between sentences and marking where you might pause for emotion or for communal responses.
• Coordinate with the officiant Ask where you should stand and whether you should use the microphone or speak without amplification. They will guide you on timing and rituals.
• Bring a backup Leave a copy with a family member or the person running the service in case the officiant wants to include it in a program or memory book.

Including prayers readings and music

Check with the community before including religious texts or music. Sometimes the monastery has a strict liturgy. If you want to include a poem or a short scripture excerpt keep it to a few lines and make sure you have permission. Music placed before or after your remarks can underscore the tone. If the monastery will chant a traditional prayer consider simply introducing the chant and offering one personal sentence afterward.

Logistics to confirm

• Do the monastery or temple require a particular format for tributes?
• Is there a preferred title or name to use?
• Who will lead public prayers and who will collect family tributes?
• Is photography or recording allowed during the service?
• How should donations or memorial gifts be directed if people ask?

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Monk A person who lives in a religious community and follows spiritual practices and vows.
• Abbey A large monastery often led by an abbot. It is common in some Christian traditions.
• Abbot The leader of a monastery in certain Christian orders. The abbot often organizes community rituals and funerals.
• Sangha A Buddhist term for the community of practitioners. It includes monks and lay supporters.
• Ordination The ceremony where a person formally becomes a monk or clergy member.
• Vows Promises taken by a monk. Examples include poverty chastity and obedience in some traditions.
• Lay People who are not ordained. Lay friends and family often support and interact with a monastery.

Frequently asked questions

Can family members give a eulogy in a monastic funeral

Sometimes yes. Many communities welcome brief family tributes but each order has its own customs. Contact the monastery or temple early and ask who is allowed to speak and for how long.

What title should I use for my brother

Ask the community. Titles vary by tradition and by role. Common options include Brother Father or the monastic name he used. Using the preferred title shows respect.

Should I include religious language if I am not a believer

Only if it was meaningful to your brother or to the community. You can honor his spiritual life with neutral language about values and actions if prayers do not feel right for you.

How do I balance family stories with monastic respect

Choose stories that reveal character and that do not embarrass the community or the deceased. Short anecdotes that show compassion discipline humor or service usually work well.

What if I am too emotional to finish

Pause breathe and look at your notes. If you cannot continue have a designated family member or friend ready to step in. Monasteries are used to emotions and will be patient.

Can I share the eulogy online later

Check with the family and with the order. Some communities have privacy concerns. If everyone agrees you can post the text or a recording with a short explanation about how donations or remembrances will be handled.