How to Write a Eulogy for Your Brother - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your brother can feel overwhelming and necessary at the same time. You want to honor him, say something true, and not get lost in long lists or family drama. This guide gives a clear strategy, real examples you can adapt, and delivery tips that actually help. We explain any terms you might see and include fill in the blank templates so you can start writing right away.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about a brother at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. Maybe you were the sibling who lived closest. Maybe you were the one who always made him laugh. Maybe your relationship was complicated. That is okay. There are sample scripts for short, funny, tender, and complicated relationships.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It is typically part of a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is personal and story based. It is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a notice that gives basic facts like birth and death dates and service details. A eulogy is a memory, small and honest.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A published notice announcing a death. It often includes biographical facts and funeral arrangements.
• Order of service The run sheet for the event listing songs, readings, and speakers. It helps everyone know what happens and when.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to help carry the casket at a funeral. These are often close family and friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories, photos, and community rather than ritual.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life near the end of life. It is not always a physical place.
• RSVP Abbreviation for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and clear tends to work best. Aim for three to seven minutes. That is usually 400 to 800 spoken words. If you are nervous about crying, a shorter heartfelt tribute is often more powerful than a long rambling speech.

Before you start writing

Preparation makes everything easier. Use this quick plan.

• Confirm time and tone Ask the family or officiant how long you should speak and whether the event should feel solemn or celebratory.
• Gather memories Collect a few stories, favorite sayings, nicknames, and small details. Ask siblings or close friends for one memory each.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about your brother. Three points give shape and keep you honest.
• Decide how much to share If the relationship was complicated you do not need to air private grievances. You can acknowledge complexity and focus on lessons or reconciliation.

Structure that works

Good structure gives permission to the listener and to you. Use this simple shape.

• Opening Say your name and relationship to him. Offer one short sentence about what the day is for.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of his life in practical strokes. Focus on roles like son, brother, friend, or worker.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Traits and lessons Summarize the values he passed on or the things people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short quote, or a call to action like sharing a memory with someone after the service.

Writing the opening

The opening sets the tone and gives you a stable place to start. Do not overcomplicate it. Introduce yourself and say one plain sentence about why you are speaking.

Opening examples

• Hello. I am Marco and I am Jason s older sister. Today we are here to remember how he made everything feel like an inside joke shared with you alone.
• Hi everyone. I am Leah and I am Ben s sister. I want to say one quick thing about how he gave the best advice when you did not know you needed it.
• Good afternoon. I am Omar. My brother Daniel loved fast cars and slow jokes. I will try to keep the jokes slow and the memory fast.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick facts that serve your story. Mention jobs only if they shape who he was. Focus on the roles he played and the habits people remember.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place] in [year]. He worked as a [job] and later as a [job]. He was a son, a brother, a friend, and the person we called when we needed a laugh.
• [Name] moved to [city] as a teenager. He loved [hobby]. He volunteered at [place] and was known for [quirky habit].

Anecdotes that matter

Stories stick. Keep them short, sensory, and with a payoff that explains why they matter. One good anecdote can carry a whole speech.

Examples of short anecdotes

• When I got my first apartment he brought a chair that he said was vintage. It turned out to be my neighbor s spare lawn chair. We kept it anyway and it felt like us making a home together.
• He had a rule for Saturday morning pancakes which was syrup first then butter. He defended this rule with the fierceness of a small dictator. We argued, we laughed, and sometimes we conceded for peace.
• Once on a road trip he insisted we stop for a tiny local diner because they had the best pie in the state. The pie was fine. The company made it perfect.

Addressing complicated relationships

Not every sibling relationship is simple. If things were hard you can still speak honestly and with dignity. Acknowledge the complexity and offer one concrete thing you learned or a moment of reconciliation.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My relationship with Mark was messy at times. We fought about small things and we made up in bigger ways. In his last year we had quiet talks on the porch and those talks mean everything to me now.
• We were competitive growing up and that pushed both of us. He taught me to keep trying even when I wanted to quit. That stubbornness is his gift to me.

Using humor the right way

Humor can be a relief. Use small earned jokes not shock value. Test them on someone who will be honest. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience.

Safe humor examples

• He had one jacket that he thought made him look mysterious. In sunlight it looked like laundry day. He owned it proudly.
• He believed every song was improved by him singing the chorus extra loud. He was wrong but we loved him for trying.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid turning the speech into a therapy session or a place for family arguments.
• Avoid long lists of accomplishments without stories that make them human.
• Avoid private grievances that could hurt people present.
• Avoid clichés that do not feel true unless you immediately pair them with a specific detail.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Each example below follows the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and edit to fit your voice.

Example 1: Short and tender three minute version

Hello. I am Jenna and I am Michael s sister. Michael had a laugh that felt like a good weather day. He was the person who would show up at two a m with coffee and a plan to fix whatever felt broken. He worked as a mechanic and could make almost anything run better with a wrench and stubborn optimism.

One small story that captures him is from a summer when our car broke down on a country road. He took off his jacket, rolled up his sleeves, and fixed what needed fixing while telling terrible jokes. We were late but happier. He taught me how to find patience in sticky situations and how to keep your tools in the trunk.

We will miss his practical jokes, his quiet generosity, and the way he always picked the last slice of cake for himself and then offered it to you anyway. Thank you for being here and for carrying his memory with us.

Example 2: Funny and warm under two minutes

Hi everyone. I am Sam and I am Aaron s sister. Aaron had two true loves. One was his dog Rufus. The other was his fantasy football team which he treated like a sacred trust. He could fix a router with a blessing and ruin a Sunday with questionable lineup choices. In all seriousness he loved his friends fiercely and he had a way of making everyone feel like they belonged. Thanks for showing up for him today.

Example 3: Honest and respectful for complicated relationships

My name is Priya. My brother Naveen and I did not always see eye to eye. We argued about money and about who took the last piece of naan. Over time we found a way to be friends. In his last months he taught me how to ask for help and how to accept it. I am grateful for that. If I could say one thing to him now it would be thank you for never letting me stand alone.

Example 4: Celebration of life tone with shared memories

Hello. I am Marcus, his younger brother. If you met Lucas you knew he loved bad coffee and great stories. He collected small moments like seashells and he was the person who could make a boring Tuesday feel like an adventure. Today we celebrate those moments and we ask you to share one small memory with the person next to you after the service. We will keep telling his stories and we will keep smiling when we do.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates to get started. Fill in the blanks and then edit to make each sentence sound like you. Read it out loud and trim anything that feels forced.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [brother s name] sibling. [Brother s name] was born in [place or year]. He loved [one hobby], he worked as [job], and he was the person we called when [small task or habit]. One memory that shows the kind of person he was is [brief story]. He taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and holding him with us.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [brother s name] was complicated. We argued about [small example]. Over time I came to appreciate [something positive]. In the last [months years] we [reconciled spent time together found peace]. If I could say one thing to him now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: Light and funny with sincerity

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [brother s name] was to know that [quirky habit]. He also taught me [practical skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. Even his jokes had work to do. He made us laugh and he made us better at [small skill like changing a tire]. I will miss him and his perfectly timed sleeping during movies.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These tactics keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is easier to manage than a phone when you are emotional.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines each reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh. Pauses help you regroup.
• Practice out loud Read to a friend or to a mirror. Practice tells your voice what to expect.
• Bring tissues and water A glass of water can calm a dry throat. Tissues are normal and practical.
• Ask for help If you think you might not finish, arrange for someone to introduce you and be ready to step in to finish a line.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak slowly. If there is no mic speak to the back row.

When you want to cry while reading

If tears come that is okay. Pause, breathe, and look down at your notes. Slow your pace. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful. The audience will wait and most people will want you to speak even if you break down briefly.

How to include readings, poems, and music

Pick short readings. Two to four line excerpts are easier to handle emotionally. Check with the officiant. If you use recorded music confirm the venue can play the file. Place music where it supports the speech such as right after a story or before you close.

Music choices ideas

• Choose songs your brother loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
• Consider acoustic versions or instrumental tracks that do not distract from speaking.
• Keep music short and purposeful.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or printed copies for the program.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service so they can include it in the printed program or memory book.

Sharing the eulogy afterwards

People will often ask for a copy. Offer to email your text to family and close friends. Some families ask that the eulogy be printed in the program or included in a memory book. You can also record the audio for family members who could not attend. Always check with family members before posting any recording online.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a bottle of water if allowed.
• Tell a trusted person you might need a moment and arrange a signal if you want them to finish if needed.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death and often including service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral listing songs, readings, and speakers.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket, often a close family member or friend.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that focuses on stories and photos.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort for people nearing the end of life. It can be provided at home or in a facility.
• RSVP Abbreviation asking guests to confirm attendance. It stands for respond s il vous plait.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to your brother. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Brother s Name] sibling gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you cannot continue ask a designated family member or friend to step in. Having a short note that someone else can pick up from helps in this scenario.

Should I include religious language if the family is not religious

Only if it was meaningful to your brother or to the family. If religion was not central choose secular language that honors values and memories. You can include a brief poem or secular reading instead of prayer language.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes small earned humor often helps. Use jokes that come from real memories and test them with a trusted friend. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members.

How do I write a eulogy if we had a strained relationship

Be honest without being hurtful. Acknowledge complexity and share any small reconciliations or lessons you can honestly claim. You can keep the tribute short and focus on one or two true things you learned or appreciated.

How long should a eulogy for my brother be

Aim for three to seven minutes. Short speeches tend to be more memorable and easier for you to deliver when emotions are high. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times with the family so the service stays on schedule.

Should I give a copy of the eulogy to the funeral home or officiant

Yes. Providing a copy helps the officiant and the person running the service keep the event on schedule and makes it easy to include the text in a program or memory book.

What if I want to include a poem or music

Choose short excerpts rather than long pieces. Confirm with the officiant and provide printed text in the program when possible. Place music where it supports the speech such as a brief interlude after a story.

Is it okay to record and share the eulogy online

Check with family before posting. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved add a short description and be mindful of the deceased s wishes.