How to Write a Eulogy for Your Aunty - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for your aunty can feel like a heavy ask and a necessary act of love at the same time. You want to tell the truth about who she was, give people something to remember, and get through speaking without totally falling apart. This guide gives you a practical plan, fill in the blank templates, and several real example scripts you can adapt. We explain any terms or acronyms you might see and give delivery tips that actually work. Read through, pick an example, and start writing with confidence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone asked to speak about their aunty at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or graveside service. Maybe you were the obvious pick because you were the niece or nephew who lived closest. Maybe you were chosen because you could talk without turning it into a therapy session. Maybe your relationship was complicated. All of that is fine. There are sample scripts for short, funny, messy, and solemn needs.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It is usually given during a funeral or memorial service. A eulogy is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that gives basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service information. A eulogy is personal. It is a story. It is allowed to be imperfect.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A published notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and service arrangements.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing readings, music, and speakers. Think of it as the event program.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. Pallbearers are often close relatives or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that usually focuses on stories, photos, and sharing memories rather than ritual.
• Hospice Care that focuses on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice can take place at home or in a facility.
• RSVP An abbreviation of the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.
• POA This stands for power of attorney. It refers to a legal document that gives someone the authority to make decisions for another person if they cannot do so themselves.

How long should a eulogy for your aunty be

Short and clear is better than long and vague. Aim for three to six minutes. That usually translates to 400 to 700 spoken words. If you are nervous about crying, a short heartfelt tribute can be more powerful than a long speech that loses focus.

Before you start writing

A little planning goes a long way. Use this quick checklist before you type a single sentence.

• Ask about time Confirm how long the officiant or family expects you to speak and where the eulogy fits in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want your remarks to be solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Check with close family so your tone fits the person and the audience.
• Gather material Collect dates, milestones, nicknames, quick stories, and favorite sayings. Ask cousins or close friends for one memory each.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to leave remembering about your aunty. Three points give structure and make your speech feel intentional.

Simple structure that works

Use a basic shape to keep yourself on track. This structure makes it easy for the listener to follow your story.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of your aunty s life in practical strokes. Focus on roles like sister, friend, baker, volunteer, mentor.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Lessons and traits Summarize the values she passed on or the things people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short poem excerpt, or an invitation for the audience to share a memory.

How to write the opening

Open with your name and relationship to your aunty. Then include one organizing sentence that tells people what the day is for. Keep it calm and brief so you can breathe and settle into the microphone.

Opening examples

• Hi everyone. I am Priya and I am Amit s niece. We are here to remember my aunty Maya and the way she made every birthday feel like a small festival.
• Hello. I am Jason. I am Claire s nephew. Today I want to say a few quick things about how she loved to bargain for extra chocolates and then share them with whoever needed one.
• Good afternoon. I am Leah. I am Auntie Joan s niece. I grew up next door to her and she taught me how to fry an egg the right way and how to tell a story with your whole body.

Writing the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you are telling. Use plain language and avoid listing every job. Focus on the roles that shaped your aunty s life and yours.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place] and moved to [city] when she was [life stage]. She worked as a [job] and later spent her time [hobby volunteering or role]. She was a sister, an aunty to many, a friend to neighbors, and a volunteer at [place].
• [Name] loved [hobby] and had a habit of [quirky habit]. People remember her for [trait like kindness laughter or stubbornness].

Anecdotes that actually land

Stories stick. Pick one or two short memories that show your aunty s character. Keep them sensory and end with why the story matters to you.

Good anecdote examples

• Every holiday my aunty would hide a bag of candy under her coat and pretend she had none. She would watch our faces light up when she finally fished it out. She believed in surprise and small joy.
• When my car broke down on the motorway she was the one who arrived with a blanket and a cup of tea. She never let a crisis be only a crisis. She turned it into a reason to be kind.
• She kept a cookbook with post it notes for every guest. If you came for dinner she would already have something that fit your mood. That kind of attention made us feel seen.

How to handle a complicated relationship

If your relationship with your aunty was strained or complicated you do not need to pretend everything was perfect. You can speak honestly and with respect. Acknowledge complexity without airing private grievances. Focus on one or two true things you learned or a moment of reconciliation.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My aunty and I were different people. We argued about politics and pottery and we did not always understand each other. In the last few years we found new ways to laugh together. I am grateful for that time.
• She could be blunt and sharp. She also taught me to stand up for what I believed in. Those lessons were hard then and useful now.
• Our bond was not perfect. Still she wanted to make sure I showed up for family and that was a kind of love I did not always see until later.

Using humor well

Humor can help people breathe. Aim for small earned jokes not shock value. Test your joke on someone who will be honest. Avoid material that could embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience.

Safe humor examples

• She had a rule at family dinner. If you complained about the potatoes you had to do the dishes. We all avoided complaining unless we wanted a free workout.
• Aunty June had a plant she loved more than most people. We joked it had a better social life. She would have laughed at that and watered the plant again anyway.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Do not turn your speech into a therapy session or a public family argument.
• Do not share private secrets that could harm people present.
• Do not read a long list of accomplishments without stories to humanize them.
• Do not rely on cliches without giving a specific detail that makes them true.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples that you can copy and personalize. Replace bracketed text with your details and read aloud to see how it sounds. Each example follows the structure above.

Example 1: Short and tender, about three minutes

Hello. I am Sofia. I am my aunty Rita s niece. When I was small she used to braid my hair in secret while telling me stories about her travels. She taught me that shoes do not need to match to be effective and that kindness never runs out.

Rita moved here from her hometown when she was twenty five. She worked as a receptionist for years and then became the person everyone called when they needed a casserole or a good encyclopedia to borrow. Her kitchen was a place people fixed more than food in. She fixed broken days.

One small memory that shows who she was happened last summer when my cat escaped and hid in a tree. Aunty Rita came over with a ladder and a leftover piece of cake to lure the cat down. She said the cake trick was a family tradition. She did not need to, but she wanted to help and she always came with cake.

She taught me to be brave enough to ask for help and generous enough to offer it. We will miss her laugh and the way she made ordinary days feel like invitations. Thank you for being here and for sharing your memories of Rita with us.

Example 2: Funny and warm, around four minutes

Hi everyone. I am Marcus. I am Auntie Lyn s nephew. If you ever met Lyn you know she had three certainties in life. First certainty was coffee. Second certainty was she knew everything about the best bargains in three counties. Third certainty was that she would ask you about your love life until it made you blush.

Lyn taught me how to fix a bike and how to argue with a bank clerk with charm. She loved crosswords and would hide extra clues in the margins of her mail. Once she entered a baking contest with a cake that looked like a swamp. It still won third place because she had bartered a friend into voting for it. That was Lyn in miniature. She did not let perfection stand in the way of fun.

We will miss her sarcastic wisdom and the way she always smelled a little like vanilla and victory. Today we celebrate a woman who never took herself too seriously and who made sure the rest of us laughed more than we cried. Cheers to you Lyn.

Example 3: For a complicated relationship, honest and respectful

Hello. I am Ana. My aunty Margaret and I had a complicated relationship. She could be critical and exacting. There were years we talked less than we should have. But in the last few years she made a small effort to notice the ways I was trying to build a life. She apologized for things she rarely admitted and she taught me that people can change at any age.

One memory I hold onto is the last Sunday we spent together. We sat in the garden and she told me about a mistake she had made when she was young. She laughed at it now and we laughed with her. That moment of vulnerability made me see her differently. I am grateful for the chance to know her as more than the hard edges.

We do not have to pretend everything was perfect to remember what she gave. She taught me to be brave about owning my mistakes and to keep trying even when the odds looked small. Thank you Margaret. I will miss your stubbornness and your quiet generosity.

Example 4: Short 90 second tribute for a graveside or small service

Good morning. I am Daniel, her nephew. Aunty Noor loved small traditions. She kept Wednesday for phone calls and Sunday for stew. She had an easy laugh and an even easier hand for mending socks. She taught us that small things add up to a life of care. Thank you for coming today and for holding her memory with us.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates to draft your speech. Replace bracketed sections and then edit until it sounds like you. Read out loud and trim anything that feels forced.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name] and I am [Aunty s Name] niece nephew. [Aunty s Name] was born in [place or year]. She loved [one hobby], she worked as [job], and she was the person we called when [small task or habit]. One memory that shows who she was is [brief story]. She taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here to remember her with us.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Aunty s Name] was complicated. We disagreed about [small example] and we sometimes did not understand each other. Over time we [spoke more reconciled found a new rhythm]. If I could say one thing to her now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: Light and funny with sincerity

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Aunty s Name] was to know [quirky habit]. She also made sure we learned [practical life skill]. My favorite memory is [funny small story]. She could make a bad joke into a family legend. I will miss her jokes and her way of holding us together. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is less likely to betray you than a small phone screen if your hands are shaking.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines on each card are easy to manage and help you keep your place.
• Mark pauses Put a bracket where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh or applaud. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read your speech to a friend, to a mirror, or to your dog. Practice tells your throat what to expect.
• Bring tissues Or a handkerchief. Tears are normal. If you stop breathing for a few seconds, breathe in and speak slowly.
• Plan a backup If you think you will not get through it, arrange for someone to introduce you and step in if you need help finishing a line.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If there is no mic, speak slowly and project to the back row.

What to do if you cry while reading

If tears come that is okay. Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. Drink water if you need to. If your voice breaks, slow down. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful than rushing. The audience will wait and they want to support you.

Including readings, poems, and music

Short readings work best. If you include a poem choose a two to four line excerpt rather than a long piece. Readings can be religious or secular. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with the piece and print the text in the program if possible.

Music tips

• Pick songs your aunty loved or music that matches the tone of the event.
• If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
• Keep musical moments short and place them where they support the speech such as before the eulogy or as a brief interlude after a powerful line.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they need it for the program or memory book.

After the eulogy

People may ask for a copy. Offer to email it to family and close friends. Some families include the eulogy in a printed program or memory book. You can also record the audio and share it privately with family members who could not attend. Always ask permission before posting a recording online. Some families want privacy.

Checklist before you step up to speak

• Confirm your time limit with the family or officiant.
• Print your speech with large font and bring a backup copy.
• Practice at least three times out loud.
• Mark pauses and emotional beats in your copy.
• Bring tissues and a glass of water if allowed.
• Tell a family member you might need a moment and arrange a small signal if you want them to finish if needed.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral or memorial listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer A person chosen to carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering that often focuses on stories and photos rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life. Hospice care can take place at home or in a facility.
• RSVP This asks guests to confirm attendance. It stands for respond s il vous plait.
• POA Stands for power of attorney. It is a legal document that allows someone to make decisions for another person if they cannot do so themselves.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and relationship to your aunty. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Aunty s Name] niece nephew gives the audience context and buys you a breath to settle. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment that is fine. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to step in. Many people keep their remarks short and let someone else finish a final thought if needed.

Can I use humor in a eulogy for my aunty

Yes. Small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes that are based on real, kind memories and test them with a trusted friend. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members.

How long should my eulogy be if several people are speaking

Coordinate with other speakers and the officiant. If many people will speak aim for two to three minutes per person so the service stays within the planned schedule.

Is it okay to read the eulogy from my phone

Yes you can. Make sure the screen is bright enough and that the device will not ring. Some people prefer paper or printed index cards because they are easier to handle when emotions run high.

Should I give a copy of the eulogy to the funeral home or officiant

Yes. Providing a copy helps the officiant and the person running the service stay on schedule. It also makes it easy to include the text in a program or memory book for family and friends.