How to Write a Eulogy for Your Auntie - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Being asked to speak about your auntie can feel like a huge honor and a heavy responsibility at once. Maybe she was the fun aunt who always showed up with snacks and bad jokes. Maybe she was a mentor who helped shape your adult life. This guide gives you clear steps, real examples, and fill in the blank templates you can copy and adapt. We explain terms you might not know and give delivery tips that actually work in real life. Read through, pick a template, and start writing with confidence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about an auntie at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or virtual gathering. You might be a niece or nephew who feels nervous about public speaking, or you might be the family member who is good at telling stories. You might have had a messy relationship with your auntie. That is okay. There are examples for funny, tender, short, and complicated situations.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honours a person who has died. It usually happens as part of a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life. A eulogy is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice that gives basic facts like birth date, surviving family, and service information. A eulogy is personal. It is a story you tell to help people remember the person who died.

Terms you might see

• Obituary A written notice of a death that usually includes biographical details and service information.
• Order of service The schedule for a funeral or memorial listing the sequence of music, readings, and speakers. Think of it like the event program.
• Officiant The person leading the service. This could be a clergy member, celebrant, or a family friend.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. These are often close family or friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal event that focuses on sharing stories, photos, and memories rather than rituals.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort for people nearing the end of life. Hospice can take place in a home, hospice facility, or hospital.
• RSVP An abbreviation for the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and clear is better than long and vague. Aim for three to six minutes. That is about 400 to 700 spoken words. If multiple people are speaking, check with the family or the officiant about timing. A focused heartfelt tribute is often more powerful than a long ramble.

Before you start writing

Some prep makes everything less chaotic when you sit down to write.

• Ask about timing Confirm how long you should speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want to be solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Check with close family so the tone fits the person and the audience.
• Gather material Collect nicknames, small stories, favourite sayings, and practical facts like jobs or hobbies. Ask other relatives for one memory each.
• Pick three focus points Choose three things you want people to remember about your auntie. Three is small enough to hold the audience and give your speech shape.
• Choose your format Will you read from paper, index cards, or a phone? Decide early and practice with whatever you will use.

Simple structure that works

A clean structure will help you and the listeners. Use this shape.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one clear sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a short overview with the roles she played such as sister, aunt, mentor, collector, or community volunteer. Dates are optional.
• Anecdotes Share one to three short stories that show her personality. Keep them specific and sensory.
• Lessons and traits Summarise what she taught people or the qualities people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a quote, a short poem excerpt, or a request like sharing a memory after the service.

How to write the opening

The opening gives you a safe place to start. Keep it simple. Say your name and your relationship to your auntie. Then say one short sentence about why everyone is there.

Opening examples

• Hi everyone. I am Maya and I am Carla s niece. We are here to remember the loud laugh and soft advice that made her such a presence in our family.
• Hello. I am Jamal and I have been proud to call Ruth my auntie since childhood. Today I want to share a few small stories that show how she loved people with her whole messy heart.
• Good afternoon. My name is Priya and I am Sophie s niece. Sophie was the family fixer and the person who made any gathering feel easier to get through.

Writing the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter to your story. Use plain language and focus on the roles your auntie filled rather than a list of jobs.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place] and later lived in [place]. She worked as [job or role], loved [hobby], and was known for [quirky habit or trait].
• [Name] never married but raised nieces and nephews like they were her own. She organized holiday chaos and gave the best advice over burnt toast.

Anecdotes that make people remember

Stories stick. Pick one or two memories that show who your auntie was. Keep them short and end with why the story matters to you or to the family.

Good anecdote structure

• Start with a quick setup. Where were you and how old were you?
• Describe the action. What happened? Use one sensory detail like a smell or sound.
• End with the payoff. Why does this memory show something true about her?

Examples of short anecdotes

• When I was twelve she taught me to do my own taxes because she said adulting is less scary if someone explains it while you eat cookies. I still use that one budgeting trick she showed me.
• She had a rule that any guest who cried at dinner had to take the last piece of pie. It made us laugh and it made us feel safe to show up as messy humans.
• On road trips she would create a playlist of songs with slightly wrong lyrics and sing them proudly. We still joke about her unique versions of classic songs.

Addressing complicated relationships

Not every relationship is uncomplicated. If your auntie and you had tension you can still speak honestly and with dignity. You do not need to air grievances in public. Acknowledge complexity and share what grew from it.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My relationship with Aunt Joan was not easy. We argued a lot. Over time I learned to hear her love beneath the bluntness. In the last year we had small moments that felt like making peace.
• She could be stubborn and sharp. That stubbornness also made her reliable in hard times. I am grateful for that steadiness even when we clashed.
• We did not always get along. Still she showed up when it mattered. I will remember those late night phone calls more than the fights.

Using humour the right way

Funny lines can release tension and give people permission to breathe. Use small, earned jokes that come from real memories. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience.

Safe humour examples

• Aunt Rita kept a collection of novelty mugs and considered every cup a personality test. If your mug did not pass muster she politely judged you until you changed it.
• She had two settings, low and extreme. If she liked you she fed you. If she did not she fed you better until you apologised for being wrong about her food.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid turning the speech into a therapy session or a forum for family disputes.
• Avoid long lists of achievements without stories to make them human.
• Avoid private family secrets that could hurt people present.
• Avoid clichés unless you immediately follow them with a specific detail that proves the line true.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples that you can copy and personalise. Replace bracketed text with your details. Each example follows the structure above and is suitable for different tones and time limits.

Example 1: The warm auntie who felt like family three to four minute version

Hi everyone. I am Lila and I am Nina s niece. Nina was the kind of person who could walk into a room and instantly make it feel less tense. She worked as a librarian and believed in the power of reading and second chances.

A tiny memory that captures her is how she taught me to fold fitted sheets. She swore it was a life skill and demonstrated it with such focus we all felt like we had witnessed a miracle. She made order out of chaos and she taught patience through everyday tasks.

She loved gardening and would give away plants like they were precious secrets. If you ever took a succulents home from her you know it carried a little piece of her. She also made the best lemon cake and never let anyone leave her house hungry.

She taught us to be curious, to read widely, and to call people back even when it felt awkward. We will miss her steady presence, her small rituals, and the way she made us feel seen. Thank you for being here and for holding her memory with us.

Example 2: Short modern eulogy under two minutes

Hello. I am Jonah and I am Kate s nephew. Aunt Kate loved garage sales, black coffee, and telling bad puns. She also showed up for big moments and small ones. She taught me how to fix a flat tire and how to say sorry without making excuses. She was a loud proof that love can be practical and messy. Thank you for being here with us today.

Example 3: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful

My name is Amir. Auntie Rose and I had a complicated relationship. She was fierce and blunt and sometimes that meant we clashed. There were conversations I needed then and there were conversations I had to learn on my own. In the last few years she softened in ways that surprised me. She said things that I needed to hear and she listened when I needed to talk. I am grateful for that. I will remember her strength and, yes, her terrible advice about hairstyles. Thank you, Rose.

Example 4: Celebration of life tone with humour

Hi everyone. I am Dana, her niece. If your life had a soundtrack Aunt Margo would be the person who insisted on playing disco at midnight. She loved big scarves and bigger jokes. She also had a secret talent for fixing literally anything with duct tape and determination. Today we celebrate her loud laughter, her questionable dance moves, and the generosity she showed to everyone who needed it. Eat the snacks she would have wanted you to eat. Laugh a little louder than usual. We will miss her like the sun misses the morning coffee.

Fill in the blank templates

Use these templates as a starting point. Fill in the brackets, then read loud and edit so it sounds like you.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Auntie s Name] niece nephew. [Auntie s Name] grew up in [place] and later lived in [place]. She loved [hobby], worked as [job], and had a knack for [quirky habit]. One memory that shows the kind of person she was is [brief story]. She taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for joining us today and for holding her in your hearts.

Template B: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Auntie s Name] was complicated. We had disagreements about [small example]. Over time I learned to see her differently because [something positive]. In the last [months years] we [reconciled talked more found common ground]. If I could say one thing to her now it would be [short line you want to say].

Template C: Light and funny with sincerity

Hi. I am [Your Name]. To know [Auntie s Name] was to know that [quirky habit]. She also made sure we learned [practical lesson]. My favourite memory is [funny short story]. Even her jokes had work to do. She made us laugh and she made us better at [small life skill]. I will miss her jokes and the weirdly perfect banana bread she baked. Thank you.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is tough. Use these tactics to stay steady.

• Print your speech Use a large font and a clean layout. Paper is less fiddly than a phone when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards Index cards with one or two lines each are easy to handle and reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put brackets or highlight where you want to breathe or where the audience might laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, to a mirror, or to your pet. Practising helps your voice know what to do on the day.
• Bring tissues Or a handkerchief. If you need to pause take a breath and continue. People will wait.
• Ask for help If you think you might need someone to finish a line have a friend or family member on standby.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a normal volume. If there is no microphone project to the back row by speaking slowly and clearly.

When you think you will cry while reading

Tears are normal. Pause, breathe, look at your notes, and then continue. If your voice breaks slow down. Saying fewer words more slowly often carries more weight. You are allowed to be human in that room.

How to include readings, poems, and music

Short readings work best. If you want to include a poem pick a two to four line excerpt rather than a long piece. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with the choice. If you include a song try to place it where it supports the mood such as before or after the eulogy.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or printed copies of the text for a program or memory book.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the event so they can help keep the schedule.

After the eulogy

People may ask for a copy. Offer to email it or to print extra copies for family. Families sometimes request the eulogy to be included in the printed program or placed in a memory book. You can also record the audio and share it privately with family who could not attend. Always check with family before posting recordings online.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honour the person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice announcing a death that usually includes service details and biographical facts.
• Order of service The plan for the event listing the sequence of speeches, readings, and music.
• Officiant The person leading the service such as a clergy member, celebrant, or family friend.
• Pallbearer Someone who helps carry the casket. They are usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering centred on stories, photos, and memories.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life near the end of life. Hospice care can happen at home or in a facility.
• RSVP A request for a response to an invitation so the hosts know who will attend.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Begin with your name and your relationship to the auntie. A short line like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Aunt s Name] niece nephew gives the audience context and helps you take a breath. Practising that opening until it feels familiar will steady you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause, breathe, and look at your notes. If you need a moment take it. People will wait. If you think you may not finish ask a trusted person to be ready to step in and finish one or two closing lines for you.

Can I use humour in a eulogy

Yes. Small earned humour is often welcome. Use jokes rooted in real memories and avoid anything that might embarrass or exclude listeners. Follow a joke with a sincere line to reconnect the tone.

How do I write a eulogy if my relationship was difficult

Be honest without being hurtful. Acknowledge complexity and share any reconciliations or small positive things you can honestly claim. If you prefer keep the tribute short and focus on one or two true things you learned or appreciate.

How long should my eulogy be

Three to six minutes is a good target. Shorter speeches are often more memorable. If others are speaking coordinate with them so the service stays within the planned schedule.

Should I give a copy of the eulogy to the funeral home or officiant

Yes. Providing a copy helps the officiant and the person running the service keep things on schedule and allows the text to be included in a program or memory book.